Notes: Will kinda follow the general jist of S7 for the beginning bits, but of course some things will be different. Faith has already rebuilt some bridges with the scoobs, so no big hate fest occurring.
Setting: Kinda season seven, except Faith comes back much earlier, Tara never died :)

-Kelly Smith

It's You

Faith's Pov

So I was sitting in the car next to red, heading back to sunny hell. Crazy huh? And I thought I was sposed to leave craziness behind now that I was reformed and all that. I hadn't been out long, just a month or so, things were ok, going good I guess, but then soul boy decides that she needs my help back in the dale. That was that, decision made for me. And now here I am doing the happy road trip with red.

Things between me and Red are cool. Not hugs and kisses and touchy feely goodness, but cool. I wrote to the Scooby doobs after I had been inside for a while. My `therapist' said it would help me to `get over' my problems. I don't know if it helped with the problems part, but it certainly helped to unburn a few bridges. Red wrote back a few times and we have a tentative respect for each other, turns out she went all wild with the magic a while back and if it hadn't been for Tara, she probably would've ended up just as psycho as me. She understands me better now, realises how alone I was back then. I think she realises some other stuff to, but we havent spoken about any of that. Tara wrote to me aswell. I'll tell ya Red is damn lucky to have that girl, I have barely met her face to face and yet she already feels like one of the best friends I've ever had. Mind you I havent had that many. The Xan-man wrote back to me. Just the once, but hey, he is a guy. He said he forgives me for the strangling, so I guess we're fine. I don't think I would've gone through with it anyway... or maybe that's what I tell myself to keep the guilt away. Giles has visited me a couple of times as well as written to me. He's a good guy and he's British, and I guess it would've been rude for him to act any other way. We never have too much to say to each other... we both know which subject we cant talk about, and that kinda makes it hard. I don't have that much in common with old tweedy guys, not unless I'm screwing them, and hey... reformed now right? He would read to me sometimes though when he visited, and that was nice, kinda, I don't know... fatherly? Not that I think he would ever wanna be a father to someone like me, but I appreciated it anyway. And I guess that's pretty much it for me and the gang. As for her... well she never wrote back, and that's ok, I didn't expect her to. I wanted her to, more then anything, but she didn't, and if that's the way things have to be, that's fine. I can deal.

I shake myself out of my reverie as the car pulls to a stop.

"Come on Faith... home sweet home." Red looks at me all scrunchy faced as she relises what she said.

"s'ok Red, it is kinda home for the next while isn't it, and hey if it's not all sweet... well, I'll just find some sweetness of my own." I give her my patented eyebrow wiggle and make to leave the car.

"Um... Faith."

"Yeah?"

"Erm... just so you know... uh Buffy, well she's not erm... she's not quite in a really happy place with you coming back... not that she wants to uh... she won't hurt you, but..."

"Hey calm down, breathe" I interrupt her as she starts to run out of air.

"I know things aren't exactly..." whats the word I'm looking for?

"...well, things just aren't anything between me and B, but don't sweat it ok? I'm gonna stay out of her way, and I'm sure she wont be looking for me, so... relax." I give her a goofy grin to make her feel better and I pray that the fact I'm shitting myself doesn't appear too obvious.

Buffy's Pov

Isn't it funny how life just never pans out the way you think it should? It's so funny I can feel the years of unshed tears just aching to squeeze themselves out of my tired eyes. I am so sick of everything. Just once I would like to know how it feels to be free. Free to make my own decisions about my own life. But I'm not free. I am a prisoner of my calling, bound by duty and destiny. Sounds kinda cool at first, but don't be fooled, there really aren't any hidden perks. You fight. You eat, sleep, work, play... and then you fight some more. You maybe squeeze in a couple of light hearted moments, a funny line in a film... a shared tub of ice cream on a Sunday night, but it always comes back to the fighting. I have fought for so long and so hard... I just don't know anymore. When does it end? Even when I thought it had ended it seems my time wasn't up. Apparently I'm like a bad penny... always coming back. See? I can do funny. It's so funny I can feel my throat tightening from my effort to stop the sobs breaking free. If I can't be free, then neither can my sobs. I try to shake myself out of this pity fest, it doesn't help any to feel sorry for yourself.

I know what day it is today. Today is the day my sister in arms makes her return to the fold. I wondered if this day would ever come. I tried to remain unaffected by it's impending arrival, but I couldn't bury the memories. I was curious to see her. I knew that she had changed, my friends it seems are a lot more forgiving then me. But then for me it always went that little bit deeper. It is not that I don't forgive her, I almost don't care what she did anymore, we were kids, dumb, stupid and unable to deal, I just can't forget. I think I have spent more time reliving those memories then any others. We were like magnets, but I never quite worked out whether we were attracting each other, or repelling each other. We were powerful though. I'm not young and dumb anymore. I'm in a sense all grown up. I know how I felt about her. I always did know but denial was easier. Easier for me anyway. How I feel now is different. I'm not looking for love, or lust or anything really. Even friendship might be a step too far. I never wrote back to her when she wrote to me. First of all I was being petty, then well... I was taking the moral high ground, and after that... well I died. Now I'm alive again, depending on your definition of alive. I feel again. But nothing touches me. Does that make sense? I feel sad, and happy, and lots in between... but I just don't care so much. I know I can't change anything. So I just accept everything. Whoa... pulling back from the pity again.

She's here now. I can feel her. But like I said... I just don't care so much.

I hear Willow's car pulling up outside. I hear Tara and Dawn making their way to the door. They're laughing. It sounds nice. I hear the front door open and the muffled sounds of greetings through hugs. Smothered voices. Smothered by closeness. As the hugs break off I can pick out voices, words, sentences. I can hear her. She sounds the same, maybe a little more maturity in the voice, but the huskiness, the way it sounds as though every word rasps against the back of her throat straining to break free, that's the same. I wonder if she looks the same. I guess she won't, after all she's older. Like me. I can hear them as they make their way to the kitchen. I bet she's hungry.

She'll be in her element down there. What with the potentials and the stories she can tell. I wonder if she will tell them our stories? I wonder if she remembers our stories. I can guess which story she won't be telling them.

I can hear laughter again. Part of me wants to go and laugh too. Forget everything and just laugh. I squeeze my eyes tight to make barriers for the tears that won't go away.

I think that she was made for me. The way that Adam and Eve were made for each other. I think she was my lucky break. I think that she was made to make me not alone. One girl in all the world... ? I didn't want to be one girl. She was made to make one become two. And I think I was made to love her.

It's funny isn't it how life works out.

I can hear again the laughter from below. I laugh so hard I cry.

Faith's Pov

It feels a darn sight better to be here then I thought it would. I think I was thinking that the letters would turn out to be not so true in there content when I got here. Like it was a pretend case of forgiveness. But nope... I got the real deal. Tara is a dream. So quiet and unassuming, yet so funny and may I say? Kinda sexy underneath that shyness. I told ya red was a lucky girl! She's looking at me now... waiting for something... what?

"Sorry T, you say something?" She looks at me exasperated, stifles a giggle.

"Well I've asked you twice if you want a drink, I was just deciding whether to go for a third." I remember when I met her the first time. In B's body. She is so much more now.

"Well I would kill for a beer." She looks at me in mock shock...

"I thought you got over the killing people?"

"We're talking a beer T. It's a long drive ya know... and what with Red and the chatting..."

"I so wasn't chatting! You were being all quiet gal, and so I was with the driving... and killing for beer?... Faith, I think we need to set some ground rules!" I look at her and grin, maybe smirk,

"Red honey?... I don't follow rules."

"We can fix that... Tara knows some kick ass spells... make you submissive..." Should I be scared?

"I've never done submissive... I expect it has it's benefits. So T... ya want me to submit to you?" Score one for the slayer. The colour of her cheeks matches Red's hair. I stop the wiggling of my eye brows and look back to Red,

"anytime you want me to submit to your girl... well lets just say spells won't be needed." I throw in a wink for good measure. I'm loving this. Has been so long since I could verbally spar. I played with Queen C back in LA, but this, this is too much fun. Willow gets a pensive thoughtful look on her face.

"Ya know you're right dontcha?" Huh?

"What's that Red?"

"She wouldn't need a spell to make you submit... I kinda find her tongue is all that's needed." I choke on my laughter. It's good to be back, and it's even better to be back and sane. Or more sane. Tara looks at Willow with a gleam in her eye, I can see the love, and the silent challenge there... I bet she's gonna make her submit lots of times after Red's little outburst.

I kick back in the kitchen for ages with the girls. There are lots of girls now. Potentials. I wonder which of them would come after me. It's not hard to tell. Kennedy. Now there's a girl that's looking good. She wants the power as well, you can see her body coiled just waiting for the call. Not gonna happen sweet cheeks. I am not going anywhere soon, I have plans for living. I might give her something else though. Scratch an itch or two. She keeps looking at me out of the corner of her eye. She does it again and I can't resist staring straight back at her. Busted! I think to myself. She knows I caught her looking. This could be fun. She doesn't colour up like Tara would. Nope. She stares right back. I like this girl.

I still haven't seen B yet. I can feel her though. I always feel her. Always. I wonder if she is hiding from me. Me the big bad. Red I think knows how I feel. She watches me watch the doors, the stairs. Waiting for her.

Sometimes when I sit and think and I wonder at this thing which is my life, I think about B. I think that maybe she was made for me. Sounds dumb doesn't it? But it's just the way I feel. I was never scared of how I felt about her. It just felt right. Well to me it did, I guess to her it would've felt wrong.

I didn't come here looking for love though. I came here because I'm needed, and that gives me a bit of a buzz. B needs me. Well I never. Hopefully, maybe...? Well possibly we can sort stuff between us. Learn to co-exist. I don't need her to say she forgives me, I don't need to say sorry. Redemption is a funny thing. Angel needs to brood to feel like he is getting there. I don't. I just need to live. I'm not who I was then, and I won't be spending my life saying sorry. Yeah I fucked up. Hell, I fucked up big, but I won't be doing that again.

I'm Faith after all... Faith the Vampire Slayer.

Willow's Pov

Faith is home. And yes I know some may disagree with the whole `homeliness' side of that statement, but well, she is home. This is her home. Mistakes were made a long time ago that nearly stopped this being her home. But then we all make mistakes. I made my own mistakes. When I think about the stuff I did, the mistakes I made, well sometimes I think I was a lot worse then Faith. She did the things she did because she was alone, she was needing, and nobody was there for her... also she was a little psycho and with the crazy... but basically she was a kid, alone. I was never alone. I had friends that loved me, I had Tara, and that should've been enough. When I think about how close I came to the edge, I think about Faith, and I think that maybe we should have been there and stopped her from going over the edge. As I said though... we were kids.

She's so different now. There's an air of something about her... I wanna call it confidence, but that isn't quite right. It's like she fits in her skin. She's not all about the leather and brassy lip sticks anymore, there's more to her. I'm not for a minute assuming that she has changed into some big ball of touchy feely happiness... that would be scary, can you imagine Faith initiating a caring, sharing circle where we all discuss our `feelings'? She would make us link hands, and there would be singing and dancing... maybe naked dancing seeing as it is Faith, and she would pass around the pastries she had baked and we would all share the love?? Definitely scary imagery. But I'm looking at her and I can see the changes.

She keeps looking at the door. When she isn't looking at the door she's straining to see the stairs. Wonder who she is looking for? As if we don't all know. I tried to tell her that maybe Buffy isn't totally happy with the idea that she is here... not that Buffy has said anything... well she got big saucer eyes when I said Faith was coming... but she didn't say anything as such...and well I just don't wanna see bad things happen again. Not saying that Buffy made bad things happen last time, no, but I, well... I want everyone to be happy. I look at Faith and wonder if she is happy? Checking out Kennedy seems to be keeping her quite jovial. Kennedy and Faith... oh naughty thoughts... don't go there. But well, that would be an interesting match. Both dark, both beautiful, both loud and in your face... it has possibilities.

I wonder if she is still in love with Buffy. She never said that she loved her, but I know, we all know. I think even Buffy knows. When I first fell in love with Tara, and everything just clicked, and I knew that we were meant to be together... well then I used to get these feelings... feelings like maybe Faith and Buffy were meant to be together, that they were supposed to click.

Now? Now I don't know anymore.

Buffy has changed to. She isn't happy. Everyday when I look at her I catch the emptiness behind her eyes, like someone put the light out and now she can't find the switch to put it back on. Don't get me wrong... she laughs, she cries, she plays, but there is just something different. That whole deal with Spike last year... I never got that. I think she is looking for something and she doesn't know what...

"Hey baby, what ya thinking about?"

...maybe Faith being around will give her the time to work things out. I don't think that Faith will be able to build many bridges there though... Buffy can be stubborn and...

"AAAarrrgghhhhhhh!" I scream as I feel Tara's fingers slip between my ribs and prod gently.

"What the fu... I mean what was that about?" I catch myself from cursing so as not to damage the ears of the younger potentials.

"Well Red, your honey here has been trying to grab your attention for at least... what do you say girls?... five minutes?" The girls in the room all look at me nodding, and Tara... well Tara just looks amazing.

"I was thinking... strategizing... making plans to derail evil at every turn, cos you know that's what I do... I stop erm... evil." I rush out my explanation, after all, I can hardly say I was sitting thinking about Buffy and Faith... or Faith and Kennedy... so yes, I'm an evil stopper.

Tara leans in behind me and plants a soft kiss behind my ear. I feel the fire coursing all through my veins. Goddess I love this woman.

"So willow... what do you say to going dancing tonight? Take the girls out, welcome home Faith..." she leans in extra close for the next bit

"...get all hot and sweaty and then, well then we can come home and..."

"Hey enough with the whispering already... I learnt better manners in the women's pen, and let me tell ya, those girls... not big with manners"

I wanna smack Faith for interrupting Tara's whispered seduction, but she is still a slayer so I'm guessing a bit stronger then me. Instead I wiggle my eyebrows in an attempted imitation of the lady herself and tell her we were discussing spells. Ha!

So the Bronze it shall be then. I guess I should go tell Buffy, am sure she will be oh so excited. I look at Faith watching me as I leave the room, I feel her eyes on me as I ascend the stairs, and I can almost feel her straining to watch me all the way to Buffy's room. I think that maybe in there somewhere, Faith still has it pretty bad for Buffy.

Should be a fun reunion. Hmmmm.

Pov third person... just to mix it up like.

The Bronze was steaming. Every nook and cranny was filled with bodies. Some of the bodies were writhing, doused in sweat. Some of the bodies were posing, looking for a hook up. Some of the bodies were performing almost comedic movements, jerking and swaying. All of the bodies would have said they were dancing. Faith looked around and decided that these people had no idea what dancing was.

She cut a swathe through the crowd, looking neither left nor right. No care who was around her. She knew who wasn't around her, she couldn't feel her. The scoobs and the potentials were out in force, woe betide any vamps looking for some `sucky-sucky' action tonight. They would certainly be getting more then they bargained for. She sank the last of the beer from the bottle she was holding and launched it into the nearest trash bin.

"Three points for the slayer" she congratulated herself. Faith was starting to buzz, the alcohol was coursing pleasantly through her veins, and the music was tingling along each of her nerve endings. She hadn't slain this evening, first night off and all that, and therefore was aching for a release of some kind.

"Holy Shit!"

Willow jerked her head up at the sound of Tara's outburst.

"What is it sweety? A vampire?" She cast her glance around looking for the source of her girls trouble. All she could see was Kennedy with her mouth hanging down to her chest. `Was that drool also? Were potentials supposed to drool at the sight of a vamp?' she shook her head clear of her crazy thoughts and looked back to Tara. She noticed that her mouth was slightly open also.

"Baby...?"

Tara looked up almost in shock.

"You said she was sexy Willow... but my goddess..."

Willow looked in the direction of everyone's eyes and there was the cause of disturbance. Faith. She looked like every pent up desire ever experienced in the world all let loose and uncorked on the dance floor. To an onlooker it would almost seem that she wasn't dancing to the music, but rather the music was following her lead. Her head was thrown back, like a lover at the moment of release, her hands twisted in her hair, eyes squeezed tightly shut. There wasn't concentration etched on her face though, no way, this girl didn't need to think about her next move, it was all just a feeling. Lots of people were trying to approach her, none of them stood a chance. It wasn't that she felt above them, it was simply that she wasn't aware of them. Her mind was focused, it was just all about the dancing. Living.

Willow laughed as she looked back at the table of admirers.

"hey guys, really that's nothing... she's barely letting go... just warming up I'd say, what do you think Xander?" She waited for his reply, but soon realised that by the look on his face, she wasn't gonna get anything real soon.

"Hey guys? Anyone...?"

Tara pulled her eyes away from the naked force that was the dancing slayer, `whoa that is hot', was her silent thought. She turned her full attention back to her girl friend, `and that is even hotter'.

"I'm here baby, just checking out the show."

"She does have a certain... something? doesn't she?"

Tara nodded her definite agreement. `Oh yeah' she thought, `she's got something'.

Buffy shook the last of the dust out of her hair and headed for the Bronze, `why the hair? Always the hair... do these vamps not know how much I hate the dust in hair thing?... maybe I could get a little pocket vacuum cleaner for the hair... suck it right off... huh?... eww that just sounded wrong... so the Bronze... yep, here we are.' She walked straight to the front of the queue and was waved inside, maybe there was some perks to this continual saving the world gig... no queuing at local vamp hunting grounds. `Yay!' she thought to herself.

It was packed. The humidity in the air was almost choking, the darkness making it a totally overpowering atmosphere. Bodies were everywhere, all moving to the beat from the speakers. `whoa it's kicking in here tonight'. She was trying to decide between hunting her friends down or heading for the bar. Then she felt her. It wasn't like the normal `Faith' feeling she got It was more. So much more. It took her breath, rendered her speechless, every hair on every part of her body was buzzing from the feeling. And then she looked up.

"Oh my god..." she could see her through the mass of bodies. She was lost in the ecstasy of the dance, completely given over to the music... one would say she had surrendered herself to it... and she looked... god she looked beautiful.

"...Faith..."

Buffy was reminded of her earlier thoughts on magnets. She felt the over whelming urge to flee, to run, to put as much distance between herself and this... this woman, as possible. She also felt the over whelming urge to rush to her side, to join her in the quest to lose herself, to be one with the music... to surrender. She felt torn...

Faith threw herself further and further into a frenzy, pushing her body to it's limit. She owned the dance floor, hell, she owned everyone on it as well. She was bumping and grinding, really ripping it up... then she felt it go through her.

"Oh my god..." A shiver made the perfect journey from the tips of her toes, all the way up her body, settled on her neck for the briefest of whispers, and then slid slowly back down again. It was the closest thing to a caress she had ever felt.

"...Buffy..." She looked up and their eyes met. They didn't have to search. They just knew. She didn't know what to do, she wouldn't hide... she knew that. Too long had she hidden who she was, that was no longer an option. But should she seek her out? Go to her? Ignore her? She felt torn...

"Hey you... can a girl get a dance?"

The dark slayer shook her head, cleared her thoughts. It was Kennedy, the pretender to the throne.

"Why not... I guess it's time I saw what ya got..." she let her gaze wander the length of the girls body, she placed her hands on her hips and pulled her close, whispering in her ear

"...maybe check out your moves."

Kennedy was equal to the challenge in the older girls eyes, she had never been shy and she had always gotten what she wanted. Now she wanted Faith.

"Oh I think we'll be moving very well together..." she slid a leg between the thighs of the slayer, applying pressure in all the right places, finding the rhythm of the music to move to

"... very. Fucking. Well."

The need for release was still strong in Faith, and she could sure as hell think of a lot worse places to find release. Gathering Kennedy tighter to her body, she decided to show her just how to dance her kind of dance. In her mind it was like conducting an orchestra, aware of every body part, moving everything just so, getting the required friction, creating a wave of desire for her, from her. It was hard and fast, soft and sensual... it was bliss.

Kennedy was lost in the enigma that was Faith. If this was how she danced, she couldn't wait to see how she fucked. `oh yeah Ken, you've picked a winner here my girl'.

If you had been stood above watching the events unfold you would maybe have described them as magnets. Seemingly they were drawn to each other without even being aware of it. As the minutes ticked by and the songs played on, they inched closer and closer to their goal, what started as the width of the dance floor became a few metres, this became but a couple of feet, and this became barely a question of centimetres. Their backs collided first. One put their arm out as if to steady whom ever they had backed into, the other was seemingly too lost in the dance to care. Then the arm reached a shoulder and contact was truly made. They jumped apart and spun round in an elegant movement, still keeping the music flowing through them. Both pair of eyes shone with something... for just a second... probably less.

"B...?"

"Faith." The silence between them became louder than the music, and they seemed to freeze on the floor, oblivious of surroundings.

"So... how have you been?"

Faith takes a moment of contemplation, `how have I been?' now there's a question.

"Incarcerated... you?"

"Dead."

"Uh-huh. And now?"

"Alive."

"That working out for ya?" she couldn't resist a little teasing, and plus... hello? She was talking to Buffy. The conversation wasn't exactly flowing, but then neither was any blood so she must be doing okay.

Buffy couldn't stop the emptiness from passing across her eyes, after all, the emptiness spent quite alot of time there nowadays.

"It's ok... I mean yeah, it's good... great, I mean great... chipper!... I'm alive and well, and it's... chipper!" Buffy stopped herself there. `Chipper? What the fuck kind of word is chipper? I cant believe I said I was chipper.'

Faith couldn't believe her ears. Chipper? She was wondering when B turned into such a spaz. As the front of her mind was left wondering on this, the back of her mind was registering the emptiness in Buffy, the smile that wasn't reaching the eyes, the slightly lank hair... oh wait, nope... vamp dust, not lankness...the all in all un- buffyness of Buffy. `Is B reacting to me or is this what she is now?' From the way she had felt earlier, the shiver, the tingle, the Mmmmm's... well she felt that B was still more then connected to her... but looking at her now... she didn't look too connected to anything... but the feeling was still there. `Shit this stuff's confusing.'

"Well it's good to hear you're... chipper? Uh... you wanna, I dunno... get a drink?"

Buffy shook her head no,

"not drinking tonight... work tomorrow... just gonna dance."

And with that she was gone, shaking and moving her ass across the floor, as accomplished a dancer as Faith, but with none of the release and surrender, almost with out the joy.

If you had been stood above them watching, you would have noticed how they never got close again, yet their movements complemented each others perfectly. Had you had placed them side by side they would have looked like lovers, so mirrored was their every move, so in time with each other. Even to observe them apart like this, you would have felt their power, noticed how it seemed to reach out like a solid form and bind them together. You would almost have to wonder how they could ever bare to be apart.

Faith's Pov

I seem to find myself in bed with a very hot yet very sleeping potential slayer. I just love how I get myself into these situations. I look down at the sleeping body beside me and decide I really, really love these situations. Kennedy had been fun. After my `conversation' with B, I had returned to my `dance' with Ken. I was so hot, she was so hot, it was obvious where it would end.

I pulled her through the door to the bedroom, never once breaking contact with our tongues. I slammed the door shut with the force of our bodies, mine against hers, pushing, pulling, needing, wanting. I was aching for release. I trailed my mouth down her neck, tasting her sweat, her desire. I rip her shirt without even realising, I want to possess her... now. I have no time for niceties... this is my game and I'm in charge. Her breasts I take prisoner in my mouth, so quickly I alternate between the two, that I'm sure that she isn't aware exactly where I am at any given time. I let out a primal growl as I rip the jeans straight off her ass, pretty little thong included. This girl is gonna know how it feels to be fucked by a slayer. I'm almost envious.

The slayer picked the potential up and almost threw her on the bed, barely taking the time to remove the remaining remnants of clothing from her body, letting out a hiss of approval when her prize was finally naked.

"Tell me what you want Ken... tell me."

The younger girl looked up at the raging force above her, she needed her now, her body was crying out to taken by her, fucked by her.

"I... I want you to fuck me... I want you..."

That was all the invitation necessary and the slayer proceeded to attack the woman beneath her. She parted her legs and pushed two fingers straight inside Kennedy's wet centre, she loved the sound of the younger girls gasp of astonishment, the way her breath was hitching in her throat, the moans that grew with each thrust of her hand, this was her favourite kind of music, and this was her favourite kind of dance.

Her mouth sought out the girls straining nipples and she sucked with the same rhythm that she fucked. It was hard, and it was fast. Of course she couldn't let rip completely... she never could, often she laughed to herself when she considered what it would do to someone if she really let go... she didn't fancy their chances with living much past it... so she always had to keep control. She didn't mind though, she still loved it.

Faith curled her fingers to stroke the sweet spot that she knew existed. She had never failed to find any girls sweet spot, hell she had never failed to find any mans either. If she hadn't been made for slaying, her second guess would have been to insist that she was made for fucking. She knew she was a talented girl.

Kennedy bucked and squirmed beneath Faith as her orgasm hit her with the force of an eighteen wheeler, she could feel the older girls fingers buried so deep within her, as if they inhabited every spare inch , pulling every drop of essence out of her. It was unlike anything she had felt before, and she had experienced many good times before this. This was crazily intense though, never had she felt so possessed by anyone, it was as if Faith knew exactly how to make her cum, and in the shortest time possible. As she fought to recover from her hectic release, she felt Faith's mouth begin its descent down her body, across her navel... barely there touches of tongue on skin, the faintest trail of saliva, burning a path towards her pulsating clit. She didn't know if she could take this yet... her mind was... well her mind was on vacation. Before she had the time to consider the whereabouts of her mind, she felt a tongue wrap tight around her clit, sucking... more then sucking... `oh god what is she doing?'... `oh god... '

"Faith... oh god... Yes... fuck..."

Her body almost entirely left the bed with the force of feelings that flew through her as Faiths tongue entered her hole, her fingers taking the place of her mouth on her clit, not giving the younger girl a minute to consider anything she was feeling.

"Oh please... yes... that's it... there...Fuuuuuuuuccckkkkkk!!... yes..."

And that was the girls last thought as her body crashed from the overload that was Faith, and her mind took the option of again leaving all sense of awareness. Kennedy passed out.

Faith chuckled to herself as she remembered the events of the night. Kennedy wasn't the first girl that had passed out before returning the favour, she was sure she wouldn't be the last. She chided herself for not remembering to go first... she always told herself to remember... but could never quite hold off... she liked possessing. Being possessed was inconsequential.

Faith's Pov

I guess I should make a move, go find some sofa space. Kennedy was fun, but ya know how it is. Well I know how it is, and she knows how it is, I made sure of that right early on. Fucking is fucking... that's all it is, and that's all I need. Well it's definitely all I want. I gather my clothes, kinda get dressed, and leave the room. I should feel bad for making all the girls sleep downstairs... yeah right, that's likely. I feel bad about lots of things I've done in my time... this is so not one of them. I get the urge to whistle a tune as I creep down the passage. I think the rest of the house wouldn't be appreciative, I laugh at the thought though... quietly.

Outside B's room I stop. I don't know why I stop. I slowly push open the door, my eyes perfect for seeing through the dark. I edge my way in, I feel like something is pulling me. She really is beautiful. Don't get me wrong... she's damn hot, and sexy and oh so fuckable... but more then that. Beautiful. I feel my hand reach out to her, ever so slowly I caress a wisp of hair away from her face, tuck it beside her ear. This one stolen moment. It becomes the most important moment of my life. I hate that I desire her so intensely... but then she is intensely desirable. I slowly back out of the room, holding my breath so as not to disturb her.

Buffy's Pov

I heard them fucking. I wasn't surprised, I had seen them dancing, and I know Faith, I know the look of desire she gets in her eyes when she wants something. It's a look I used to know well. I saw that look tonight... just for a second as our eyes met. It was the reason I stayed and spoke, I was going to run, big, brave Buffy Summers. I couldn't run from that look though... I am very adept at choosing to ignore it... but I can't run from it... not anymore.

I heard as Kennedy cried out her name. I never heard Faith cry out her name. I find that Oddly pleasing.

I heard as she left the room. I froze when I heard her enter mine.

I concentrated so hard to keep my breathing even, I'm asleep, I'm asleep. Then she touched me. Just my hair... and my breath caught for just a second... did she notice? ... no, she's standing up, backing away... leaving.

As I feel her leaving I open my eyes. I didn't mean to. I'm sleeping... remember? She is staring straight back at me... she looks like a deer caught in headlights. I want so bad to make a witty comment... mock her for being a peeping tom, maybe rib her lack of stealth... Instead I smile at her.

"Night Faith."

And then across her face I see it... a smile to rival any I've ever seen. It's like she almost glows with the radiance. For a moment I think she may come back in. for a moment I think I might let her. I see in her face as she decides to leave. Resolve and regret.

"Night B... Buffy."

The last word is whispered, a caress across my ears.

As she leaves my room, she enters my heart.

Willow's Pov

I'm awake early. I don't know how I'm awake early, what with the dancing and the light yet pleasant drinking... oh... and the full on Faith fest we were audibly treated to last night. I bet Kennedy isn't awake early this morning.

I think I'm gonna get myself up and make the breakfast... pancakes... or waffles... no, no definitely pancakes... Tara likes my pancakes... I roll my head to glance across at the woman who owns my heart. I own her heart as well... yeah... I'm gonna go make her pancakes. She is so absolutely gorgeous. She still takes my breath away.

As I head down the stairs I can hear someone else already up and about. That's strange... the potentials never... and by that I mean NEVER... get up early, you would think that being as how they all slept on sofas and chairs and make shift beds, they would be quicker to rise and shine. Ha! Some chance.

It's Faith of course.

"Morning Red... nice to meet another early riser."

She's drinking her coffee, leant across the counter, hair hanging in mussed contentment around her face. She looks pretty good for an early bird.

"Hey Faith... I uh... I'm surprised to see you all perky and up and about... I didn't think Kennedy would be throwing you out so soon after that display..."

She throws her head back and lets out a full on belly laugh... I don't think I ever heard Faith make that sound before.

"Red, Red, Red... I have never... and I repeat, never, been thrown out of bed... you are joking yeah?... cos I gotta tell ya girl... mad skills over here..."

She tops her statement with her typical lewd wink, and I think to myself that yeah, I bet she does have some pretty mad skills.

"So what ya doing up so early if it wasn't through being thrown?"

"Sofa was crowded... some one kept digging me, also... what with the recent prison accommodations... I'm used to rising early. And the peace of course... I like the peace."

So she had slept on the sofa and through her own choice. I wasn't really surprised. Faith had never been one to hang around for the morning niceties. There was a time when I probably would have found myself judging her for her promiscuity... her sex for sex sake attitude. Nowadays I wouldn't dream of it. I wonder at what it is that keeps her from enjoying the simple pleasure that can be found in waking in the arms of a warm embrace. And morning sex of course... that's gotta be worth hanging about for? But I don't know... and so I don't judge. Everyone is allowed to have some pleasure.

"Gonna leave ya to it Red... find myself a spot in the garden... loosen up my muscles... keep this prime form in prime shape."

She runs her hands the length of her body and I can't help but follow her hands with my eyes. I would say she was definitely in prime shape. I swallow my comment and instead wish her good morning and get to making the pancakes.

And then I am struck by a vision. Not the Cordelia kind... oh no... just the `oh look there's Buffy, and my god she's smiling... and my god... it reaches her eyes... and... and she's smiling?' Not that Buffy doesn't smile anymore... it just, well it never quite makes it to the eyes. Her eyes are shining though.

"Morning Will." she sing songs to me.

"Hey Buffy... some ones all overly perky this morning... did I miss something?" I hope I didn't miss anything. I run through my mental calendar of important dates, nope... no birthdays today. Relief.

"Nope... no missing happening. I just... I dunno Will...I guess I just feel happy." and she smiles again, and again it travels to her eyes. I wonder what has gotten her smiling like that. You would almost assume that she was the lucky lady on the end of the Faith fest last night. Then it occurs to me.

"It's Faith isn't it?"

She looks bemused, glancing around her to see what's Faith.

"Faith what Will?"

"Her here... you're happy. Two add two makes four. That's it isn't it? You're happy she is home!" I cant stop my voice from hiding it's excitement... I know I'm right, I just know it.

"Willow... we haven't even spoken... well except for that tiny time at the Bronze... and then in my room last night, but that was really brief and not really conversational ya know?"

In her room? What the hell...?

"In your room Buff? You uh... in your room?"

Her eyes seem to be focused else where... perhaps in a memory?... and she has to shake her head to bring herself back to me.

"Not like that Will... god, I mean... come on... Faith?"

She manages to dampen my suspicion, after all I remember Kennedy's fervent screaming... I doubt Buffy would go there after that. Well straight after that... not saying she would never go there cos Kennedy had... just not five minutes after.

As I set about making pancakes for my honey, I watch Buffy go across to the back door. She's watching something... very intently watching. I glance up and through the window I can see Faith going through some kind of work out. Very peaceful, very serene. If I hadn't realised she was a woman of beauty before, I would see it now. She looks amazing. I watch Buffy watching Faith... she has a ghost of a smile playing across her lips. She probably doesn't even realise it's there.

"Hey Buff... why don't you go join her... I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"Huh?... no Will, just watching. Besides, as I said... not even conversed yet." She rolls her eyes at this, as if she wishes that conversation had already been and gone. I feel for her. She must know that it could be a very hard discussion. Especially if she asks Faith why everything happened, digs for explanations. I don't know if she is ready to understand the why's. Although looking across at her now, looking out the window at Faith... I would say she's coming to terms with the want.

"Can ya watch my pancakes why I go and wake Tara?" I ask sweetly. I wonder if she'll be able to wrench her eyes away.

"No probs Will... give her a kiss from me." she winks at me mischievously.

`No chance Buffy', I think to myself as I go to leave the room. Just Willow kisses for my Tara.

"Oh and Willow..."

She calls my attention back, and I turn round to see her still Faith gazing, should I worry about the state my pancakes will be in?

"... I am happy."

I watch as that light reaches right up to her eyes again.

"I'm happy that she is home."

I smile straight back at her. I am glad that this has all gone so smoothly, cos ya know... I was worried... I imagined fights... and blood... and shouting... and well I didn't imagine that Buffy would be so happy.

As I head out the room again I know... I just know I'm gonna be making fresh pancakes.

Kennedy's Pov

Two weeks. That's how long she has been here. I had heard of her before... The Slayer that was lured to the dark side. The idea of her had excited me... this force that refused to be bound. I also knew of course the story of her battle for redemption... in my head I had romanticised it... she put me straight.

`There is nothing at all romantic about a couple of butch guards forcing their fingers up your ass, searching for contraband.'

Put that way, I see she has a point.

Since she has been here, she has 'had' me many times. I can't refuse her desire, and I have no wish to. She is unlike anyone I have ever been with before. It is always so intense. Her touch so deep. Her hunger is insatiable. You can see it come over her sometimes. She'll be fine... just sitting there, and slowly you can see her eyes start to dart around the room, it looks like boredom if you don't know what you're looking for. Then she fidgets... her fingers can't keep still... tapping, clicking... moving. Then she just pushes herself up, regardless of anything occurring around her, and looks for something to beat the shit out of. Punch bag... friendly spar partner potentials... anything to get release. The sparring never gives her what she wants though. When she is like that, only fucking can give her what she needs... even then I think she is left wanting. I wonder at what it is she's wanting. I know that I give her release... but I know it's not enough... I can feel it's not enough. Could anyone ever be enough for her?

She never calls my name... when I'm inside her... when I'm tasting her. When she cums she is silent. It seems strange that one so loud, enthused with so much life, can keep quiet at such a time. Her eyes clamp shut, and concentration is etched upon her face... it's like she fights to keep it inside.

She never stays. No matter the time... it could be twenty minutes till heads up... but she never stays. Sometimes I wish she would... but that's more about me then her. I yearn for the warmth of early morning cuddles, but don't get me wrong... I'm not yearning for her. I feel something for her. I do love her... it would be impossible not to. i am not IN love with her. Of course I have absolute lust for her... again it would be impossible not to. She told me at the beginning... the very beginning... right after her brief chat with Buffy... when she returned to our dance... `ya know Ken... I don't do love. If you're looking for love I don't wanna know... if ya looking for the fuck of your life... well then girl... lets dance.' I am not the kinda girl who falls in love with the unattainable. But I am the kinda girl that likes to dance. She wasn't lying about the `fuck of my life' either.

I'm watching her now sparring with some of the girls. Everyone loves to spar with her... it's so much more joyful then with the other one, so much more energy, she makes it fun. Even as she whups your ass, you're laughing. Buffy probably doesn't approve, probably thinks that there should be no joy, who's got time to live, when death could be just around the corner. She pisses me off. I know her story too of course, I `understand' that she's had her share of knocks and all... but come on... lighten the hell up why don't ya. She makes the girls nervous... never sure if they're gonna get an approving nod... or that stupid dumb ass frown of hers. I tell ya... if I ever get slayer strength whilst she's still about... she's gonna get a whole new meaning of `turning the frown upside down'. I made the mistake of calling her `B' the other day. You would've thought I'd just called her dead mother a whore. Talk about an over reaction. It's just being around Faith so much... that's what she calls her... I didn't know it was an exclusive kinda deal. If Faith didn't have this `thing' for Buffy, well I'd probably call her it more, just to rile her.

I don't know the deal with Faith and Buffy. Faith won't talk about her, even if we're all hanging with the potentials, generally bitching... she never joins in. I don't get it. Sure Buffy is hot... that's a given... but come on... what could she possibly see there? Maybe I'm wrong and it's not like that. Maybe she just has some kind of deep respect for her. I wouldn't know, Faith never talks about her.

I don't think they talk to each other much either. In the whole time she has been here I don't think they have ever been alone in a room for any time at all. Sure they talk around people. Stuff about the slaying... about the big end of world badness that wants our asses... but nothing more. They look at each other though, everybody sees them. It's almost comical how they manage never to catch each other out, yet we all catch them constantly. It's like they know when to stop looking at just the right moment. It's freaky.

I have wondered if Buffy is in love with Faith. I don't envy her if she is. Faith isn't looking for love. She really isn't. I'm not sure if Buffy is down with the girl on girl goodness either, I've heard she does vamps, and something about soldiers... but I havent heard any whispers of illicitness with girls... maybe that's why she's so uptight!

Sometimes I think she looks at me with jealousy when I'm fooling with Faith. It's not like we have a touchy feely thing going on... but ya know? We fuck! Of course we have some kind of chemistry. And when we leave the room after sparring... or head upstairs after dancing... then I think I catch a gleam of it in her eyes. Could be I'm wrong... I have a feeling I'm right though. I wish Faith would tell me the story. She says it's a story she won't tell.

Part of me hopes she is jealous. As I said... she pisses me off. Would be fun to take her down a notch or two.

Faiths finishing up with the potentials now, they all look knackered, except for faith. She looks like she is buzzing. I'm all set to go to her when I notice Buffy coming through the door to the garden, her eyes are totally focused on Faith... I see her gaze travel the length of her body, pausing on the bare flesh... I bet with her slayer vision she can make out individual drops of sweat... I wonder if she can smell her aswell. Forget what I was thinking before. The bit where I questioned if Buffy wants Faith, if she loves her. I have never seen anything like the tortured longing in that girls gaze. I jump up from my sitting position and head for my prize. I run my fingers over the naked flesh that Buffy is gazing at, I lean forward and snake my tongue across her neck. Faith is always hot after sparring... and I lead her up to the shower.

As we passed Buffy in the door, I felt the electricity crackling between them... do they not feel it? I definitely saw the flash of jealousy pass through Buffy's eyes as I led Faith away. That made me feel something. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

God I can be a real bitch sometimes.

Buffy's Pov

It's nearly three weeks now since Faith arrived. Nineteen days to be precise. Nineteen days ago I didn't care about anything. Now I care about everything. Now I think I can understand why my life has been so screwy for the past three years, I have missed her. Not noticeably. Not in a way where I have pined for her. It's deeper then that. I think that she was made for me.

I still haven't spoken to her. It's driving me crazy. I want to... more then anything I want to speak to her. To laugh with her. She laughs so much... all the time... doesn't matter what she is doing... I guess she remembers how to `find the fun'. I want to tell her... no wait... I `need' to tell her everything. Everything she missed... I want to fill in every minute that she wasn't here. I know she will understand... she's the only one that ever could. But then I'm scared. We did it all so wrong before... and it was all so bad... I'm just scared it could all go like that again. I just want us to be friends.

I want to spar with her. I watch her sparring with the potentials... she is so good. I watch her holding back... I know the frustration of holding back. We never had to hold back against each other. The knife I gave her in the guts is proof of that. Maybe we should have held back. I know I should have. It's thoughts like that which make me scared.

So much I want to slay with her. The Olympic team back in action. I guess we could call it a comeback tour... we could get cute little T'shirts printed... hers in black... mine in white... and we could charge money... oh, and have funky names like in the wrestling Dawn watches... hmmm what would our names be?...

"Hey Blondie... you out all alone?"

... Blondie? Oh god no... how eewww! Wait... who?...

"Maybe you need me to walk you home?"

Oh god. This vamp is so lame. I wouldn't go anywhere with him alive... let alone dead and smelling of decay. I make quick work of him. He called me Blondie!

Slaying with Faith was always fun. Even if I tried my damn hardest to make it un-fun... which if my memory serves me correctly I did an awful lot. It wasn't that I didn't wanna cut loose with her... I so did. I just felt so darn responsible all the time. She was so wild and I just assumed I had to be tame. Now I look back and wish I had let go a little... I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to now. We always split up now for slaying, we didn't even discuss it... but then we haven't discussed anything. I want to slay with her. Maybe I'll suggest it. Be brave. Ha!

I want to be her friend. That's what it all comes down to I think. I need to be connected to her. I need to know her... I want to know her. I feel her watching me sometimes... in the breaks between me watching her. I wonder what she is thinking. Does she want to know me? My mind doesn't think much past friends.

My body cant get enough of her. It's constantly being pulled to her... whenever we are in the same room I have to forcibly fight the urge to be next to her... to go to her. I think she feels this too. At night she goes to Kennedy. Not every night... but a lot of nights. She never stays with Kennedy. She always stops outside my room... even the nights she isn't with Kennedy, I can feel her presence outside of my room. Sometimes she comes in... sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes I pretend to sleep... sometimes I don't. We never speak though of course. We whisper goodnight. My mind doesn't think much past friends... but my body does.

Kennedy pisses me off. I know she shouldn't but she does. I don't know if I'm jealous... I just know I don't like the girl much. She watches me too. She watches me watching Faith... and she revels in it. She knows. I don't know how... but she knows my body wants Faith. I see her touching faith all the time when I'm around... leading her away for their little sex sessions... she watches me watch them leave... she always flashes me an extra big smile. I'd love to sort that smile out for her. Wouldn't be good for morale though would it? It seems she is head of our happy band of potentials... mustn't bitch slap their `leader'... no.

I'm home now. Slaying was the dullest tonight. Just the one goon with the Blondie comment. Not everyone is here . Giles has sorted out a place to live... and well we sent off some of the happy campers with him. They're not far away... just far enough away not to have to share our bathroom! Faith and Kennedy are in the kitchen. What's the betting that `little miss pisses me off' will be all over Faith as soon as she notices me? Oh look... there she goes. Pathetic. God I wanna hit her.

"Hey B... fun with the slayage tonight?"

Mmmm she looks good.

"Nope... Nada... just the one... gave me a crappy wrestling name... dusted him quick... that's all."

I wonder why she is looking at me oddly? Do I have vamp dust in my hair again?

"Wrestling B? never figured you for the WWF... we could practice some moves if ya up for it... I used to love WWF... Ultimate Warrior... that was me."

What is she talking about?

"Who?... what?"

"You said wrestling... yeah?"

I must be missing something... I never was a big pro wrestling fan... I shall explain I think.

"No... I didn't mean wrestling... I was thinking Olympic slayage team stuff... T'shirts... names... you get?"

I saw the smile cross her face... it was one of her big ones. I hope she was smiling because she remembered. Even if she didn't remember... well it's pretty obvious who would be on an Olympic slayage team... there's only two chosen after all. No outsiders allowed.

"So what was the name B?... was it something hot and sexy?"

She wiggled her eyebrows at me. Oh my god. How can I make her do that again? I had forgotten just how undeniably sexy and yet cute that was.

"Well...?"

"What...?

"The name B... the name?"

I am so not gonna tell her that the vamp named me Blondie. No way no how... shall just have to think of something different... something to make her eyebrow wiggle some more... something like...

"Look as fun as this is guys... well I think that I wanna leave for some after hours fun upstairs... what do ya say Faith?"

...Bitch!

Not my name. Her.

I am not gonna go down to this bitch. I'm never gonna get friendship going with Faith, if this little lap dog doesn't go play somewhere else. I decide to take a chance. I'm really scared... but at this point I'm more scared of not taking the chance.

"Actually... I was gonna... askFaithifshewantedtospar?" wow I got that out quick... wonder if she noticed?

"You wanna spar now... after slaying?... at eleven thirty, you wanna spar?"

Oooh Kennedy doesn't want Faith to spar.

"Yeah well like I said slaying was a bust... and ya know... lots of energy pent up... and I can really let go with Faith..."

"I'm in."

"Huh"

"Huh"

Me and Kennedy both ask at the same time. Seems like Faith wants to spar.

"I'll see ya in the morning Ken... I'm gonna show Blondie here how to fight"

She called me Blondie! Arrghhh! Oh wait she did the eyebrow again. Even i can forgive the name for the eyebrow!

"Yeah night Ken." I smile at her oh so sweetly. She looks mighty pissed. With a quick glance at Faith, she is out of the door. Bout time too.

"So B..."

"Yes Faith?"

"...You ready to cut loose?"

I can see the excitement dancing in her eyes... her body coiled like a spring... am I ready to cut loose... the memory of the words isn't lost on me, as I'm sure it isn't lost on her... maybe this is about more then sparring... maybe this is about everything.

I get up and head for the Basement, throwing her a look as I go..."Try me."

Pov None.

The two girls made their way to the training mats, limbering up as they went along, stretching their muscles out. Preparing to do battle.

Faith had been completely surprised by Buffy's offer to spar. In the three weeks she had been here, not once had she asked her to train... or slay... or talk... or anything really. She didn't know why now was the time, and quite frankly she couldn't care a less. She had been waiting for this on so many levels, for such a long time.

No one could push Faith like Buffy could... in all the world there was no one as equal to her as the other slayer... and she loved it. She loved the bond... the uniqueness... that no one could share what they could. Buffy reminding her of the Olympic slaying... that had made her decision to spar for her... also the whole `letting go' aspect... but just the memory of what the girls shared. It was powerful.

They circled each other for a while... watching, waiting, feeling... at last able to truly size each other up with out the hiding. Neither of them were disappointed in what they saw.

"Gotta say it B... for a chick that died... you are looking pretty darn good."

"And you certainly don't look to have lost any of your appeal behind bars F."

"You find me appealing...?"

"Mostly appalling... but hey... some things never change..."

"Oh you hurt me B..."

"Not yet... but give me a minute."

They continued circling for a minute more, both looking for the opening... a way to strike the first blow.

"So you gonna try and hit me or ya wanna make sweet talk all night?"

"No need to try Faith..."

And with that the fighting began in earnest. To have been a spectator at this `fight' would have been an honour. The opponents were evenly matched... not only in physical strength... but verbally as well. Each blow struck was followed by a comment... a statement... a quip... in Faith's case, sometimes a curse.

The energy in the room was amazing. The heat. The pressure. The power. It was intoxicating, and each girl was starting to feel the buzz... the forgotten but soon remembered sense of belonging. That `this' was theirs. Only theirs.

Buffy was drowning in the feeling. Nothing had felt this good since... well since ever. She could remember the training sessions of years ago, but she couldn't remember this same intense and crazy feeling. It was like she could feel all her power, everything that made her the slayer, reflected straight back at her in Faith. And god it was wonderful. She didn't pull any of her punches... she didn't need to. Not only could Faith handle the pace... but also not too many punches were landing. Years ago Buffy would have bet on herself in this fight... now Faith was different... and now she wouldn't bet. It seemed that Faith had harnessed her power.

As for the Dark Slayer... she was feeling ecstatic. She hadn't let rip like this since... well since Buffy kicked her ass probably. She was almost amazed at how she was fighting... what she was feeling... it was different... something had changed but she didn't know quite what. She felt in control... she could feel her power... her strength... and she could feel Buffy. The reflection of everything that was her. She opened herself up totally and gave everything she had... she wasn't afraid of getting hurt, or of hurting the other girl... they were each others equal.

They fought for hours... it felt like minutes. Neither of them looked for a clock... the passing of time had no consequence on what was occurring here. It seemed like the universe itself should stand still to observe this duel... to bear witness to what was passing. Two warriors... one light, one dark... these two girls who had fought together, and against each other... who had seen the best and the worst of the other and yet still returned for more... who had retained their connection through coma's, through death... at this time... in this room... they found the peace together that they had never known. It was a revelation.

When it became apparent to both girls that neither of them would gain an upper hand, they ceased to trade blows. Instead they fell to the floor... past exhaustion... and allowed their hearts to find some semblance of a normal beat.

"I'm telling ya B... wow!... that was wicked fun... damn tiring... but oooh yeah... wicked fun."

"Uh huh."

"No... it was like... completely intense... I could feel it... being the slayer... it's ours B... I could really feel it... yours and mine."

"Mmm hmm."

Faith rolled onto her side to face the older slayer.

"You ok B? Am I talking shit here?... cos I gotta tell ya... if you weren't feeling anything there... whoa you missed out."

Buffy turned her head to face Faith's, she didn't have the energy to turn her body yet. She was beat... exhausted.

"No Faith... I get it. The power... yep... but to quote you... `damn tiring.' Understand?"

Laughter erupted from deep inside the younger girl,

"Oh I get it alright B... I tired you out... and I always hoped your stamina was as good as mine... expected it really... cant say I'm not slightly disappointed."

"Oh my stamina's fine... you wanna go for some more...?" She found the energy reserves to roll onto her side now... she was but inches from touching her sister slayer... to making contact... to fulfilling desire. The desire to touch.

"Whoa back up there girl!... don't wanna cause a coronary in your good self... ya need to take it easy... deep breaths..." she leant in closer so her body was just a hairs breadth away from it's wanted destination, her lips so close to the lips of the other,

"...in and out B... in and out." Every part of her was screaming to close the gap... take the leap... kiss the girl. But this wasn't about just kissing the girl... this was about so much more. More then she wanted. So she pulled back, she resisted all her instincts and retreated. Widened the gap. Closed her eyes and shook her gaze from all that was Buffy.

"You want water B?"

"Water...? Uh... yeah sure. Water. Water is good... good for cooling down... not that you're hot... wait... you are hot, I mean... water?... yes."

"Very suave B. Impressive." she lifted herself off of the floor and went to get the water from the fridge, she snagged a couple of chocolate bars too... she had to fix one of her cravings.

"You want chocolate?... I'll share."

"That would be sublime." Buffy decided it would be best to ease at least one hunger.

They sat and talked as the sun came up. They hadn't even realised it had gotten light. They talked about what the other had missed... the differences in prison life and the afterlife. Talk of loss and pain and struggle. Talk of temptation. They became close then. Not close in the way of lovers... it went deeper then that. They had found the friendship that had always seemed to just allude them. They could see comfort in the other... acceptance... hope... all the things they had been silently needing... the most important thing that they had found though was understanding... an understanding that went deeper then anything... that was shared.

Some people would have said that it was love that they had found. It wasn't though... not yet. You have to be ready to accept love... otherwise it is a wasted gift. Neither of these girls was ready to accept that gift though... Buffy was decidedly closest... she could see in the other slayer everything she could want or need... and for that to turn into love would not take much. Faith was different though... yes she could see everything good in Buffy... she could even imagine that to love her would be so easy... but she wouldn't allow it. She wouldn't accept the gift because she didn't want it. She didn't `do' love... she didn't really believe in it. She believed in fuzzy feelings... she wasn't stupid... but real love? True love?... no such illness.

They had been in silence for a few minutes... mentally whupped from all the introspection, when Buffy took their memories back to their furthest point yet.

"You know what you said Faith... on the roof... at Angel's... do you remember...?"

"I would never forget B... I asked how to make it better... why?... You ready to tell me?"

"That's just it Faith... it is better. I stopped caring about any of it so long ago, it seemed so... wrong to want to hate you... to hurt you... I just missed you... and now... all I care about now is that you're here. And with me. And that we have a chance. All I ever wanted was the chance to do it right... the way it should have been..." Faith was gazing at her with the most serene of smiles playing at the corner of her lips... just a glimpse of her dimples beginning to show...

"You being here... this is better. You made it better."

"You've always made me better B..." she noticed the sceptical looks being tossed her way...

"ok. Granted it wasn't always apparent that you made me better... but even at my worst B... coming here... doing this... making it better... that's what kept me going ya know?... and I'm not saying I wouldn't have made it otherwise... I'm a strong girl... a survivor and all... but just so ya know B..." she looked into the other girls eyes, she had to show her she meant it...

"all of it... everything... life the universe... you make all of that better for me. You always have."

She felt that she should be embarrassed, but she wasn't. Yeah she felt naked and vulnerable... open to attack... but she knew that attack wasn't coming, she felt mostly safe. She liked it.

"So this is us all cared and shared huh?... hugged and cried..."

Buffy finished her sentence for her...

"grown and learnt. Yep, I'd say so... not so much with the crying and hugging, but maybe the growing?"

"You're still short B."

"Fuck you Faith."

"That might achieve a lot of things... never heard it's helped in height problems though. I knew I had talent... you heard the tales?"

"I've heard the moans... it's enough, believe me."

"Nah... you should hear the tales... I might have a video somewhere... makes good bedtime viewing... I look good on camera... pretty hot ya know?"

"God do you ever change?"

"Nope. You want me to?"

"Nope."

"Good."

"Good"

"You hungry?"

"Starved."

They helped each other up off of the floor and headed up to the kitchen and the thought of breakfast.

Willow was waiting for the kettle to boil to make the morning tea... she was awake early again... always the first to rise. She was wondering to herself where Faith was. No one was about downstairs... and she wouldn't believe it if she had stayed in Kennedy's room... also she had not heard a Faith fest the night before so she didn't think she had even been in the room with the potential. Buffy had patrol last night... so she didn't think she had to worry that way... no foul play involved. That really only left Faith sleeping elsewhere... again she would be surprised. Faith never stayed out the night... she still had her `get some, get gone' thing working for her and why would she break that? She would make tea and wake Buffy... she wouldn't appreciate the morning wake up call... but hey, if Faith was in danger she would want to know.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of the two slayers from the basement.

"Wow girls... you're up early... dedication to training huh?"

Buffy looked guiltily at Willow,

"We havent quite made it to bed yet Wills... we were sparring and then..."

"...And then B got lost in the hotness that is me, and kept me up all night satisfying her wicked desires... I'll tell ya Red... this girl... she knows kinky." She shot Buffy her shit eating grin, and awaited the spluttering to begin... she wasn't disappointed.

"Uh... that's a joke right?... cos if it's not... that's ok... and hey if it is... erm... shall I uh... fix some breakfast... cos I'm thinking... slayer energy... you're gonna be pretty hungry right now..."

"That would be great Red... see this B?... this girl knows how to treat her woman!"

"Will, calm down... Faith's being juvenile... we talked all night, we dealt."

Willow beamed at them both...

"you dealt? You mean it's all fixed?... oh god that's even better then the other thing Faith said... I'm so pleased... and do you still want breakfast... cos talking, whoa there's an energy burning sport..."

"Breakfast would be great Will... thank you."

They shared a smile that encompassed the three of them... as everyone else rose it grew to include Tara... Dawn even caught the meaning... and shared the smile too. That evening, Xander came for dinner... Giles aswell... and they shared a dinner that they had until recently believed might not be possible. The original gang. Plus Tara. Plus Faith. Dawn wasn't sure where she plussed, really she would be last... but in their heads she was always there... crazy. Together though they all felt they belonged. Like family.

The potentials arrived back from the movies around ten... the movies had been a treat, so as the scoobs could convene in peace. A welcome break for everyone.

Kennedy hadn't wanted to go. She hadn't really spoken to faith since the night before when she was dismissed in favour of 'sparring', and she wanted to know the lay of the land. She wasn't ready to give up on her Faith fixes just yet... and she'd be damned if Buffy Summers was gonna take that from her. As she looked in around the table she could sense the closeness between everyone there... two stood out though... even more then the lovesick Wicca's... it was The Slayers... the shift in them was palpable... they looked in perfect sync... and the glances... not so furtive anymore. Kennedy found it worthy of vomiting. She wouldn't join in on the love fest... no way. Bed was calling... if Faith was too stupid to join her, well so be it. Something was telling her though... that yeah, Faith and Buffy looked 'closer'... but Faith was still gonna have to get her needs met somewhere... cos there's a great big difference between gazing and fucking... and Faith likes her fucking.

Buffy watched Kennedy leave the room and head for the stairs... she really, really didn't like that girl... and the thought of her and Faith together... well that had just got a hundred times worse.

Before last night it tugged at her heart. Now it ripped at her very soul.

Faith's Pov

I can not believe how happy I am at being back in Sunnyhell. Last time I left... well let's just say that I didn't think I would be coming back. I'm more then glad that I did. I have everything I want, right here, right now. I have the super cool friends, the roof over my head, the hot little potential, the nightly slaying, and B. Mostly I'm glad about B.

Since we cleared the air the other night, things have been great. We've been hanging lots... just kicking back and talking... there is so much stuff I never knew about her... it feels like we're becoming really close friends. The great thing is that I think she feels it too. She lights up when I come into the room... and she's always suggesting stuff for us to do together... later we're slaying together... first time since I got back... she wants to see `how in tune our slaying is' ... from the way we sparred the other day I gotta guess we're gonna be making lots of sweet music.

I've never had a really close friend before. It was always about what was on offer. Sex usually. Sometimes a roof over my head... mostly the sex though. Didn't bother me any... can't miss what ya never had right? I'd miss it now though. I cant imagine not having Buffy's friendship. It's funny how important it's become in such a short time... could be a slayer thing... we definitely have a connection.

It's hard sometimes not to think about sex with B, she's still the same little hotty she always was... more so even... to not think about touching her... holding her... god... tasting her. Well I have to not think about it. `Cos that stuff... that don't sound like `fucking' to me, and I am not about to mess this friendship up with unwanted emotions. That way lies pain. I remember.

I have Kennedy to scratch that itch anyway. That helps keep my head clear of foolish notions... now if I was celibate... maybe then I'd have to think about the things I wanna do to B. Not likely though... me and celibate... never a chance! I wonder if I'm using Ken. She knows the sitch, so I don't think I am. Either way... I never said that I was an Angel. Sometimes I take care of the itch with others... Ken knows that too, I think she probably does the same... although I'm sure it's tough trying to find someone that can do the things I do. I'm a talented girl after all.

Pov None.

The slaying was going great guns. All the silly little moves they had made up as teenagers came back to them straight away. The competition to slay the most vamps. The competition to slay the fastest. Highest kick... fanciest move... it was all there. Everything that puts the fun into slaying. The euphoria dancing through their veins was incredible... it was stupid to say that they shouldn't exist together... surely this feeling showed otherwise?

They made short work of any vamps crazy enough to stick around for a fight... both trying to impress the other... and also keen to spend time just chilling together.

"So B...ya wanna go Bronzing... bust some moves on the dance floor... shake your slayer `booty'?"

"Not tonight... I told Dawn I'd be home... she has school stuff... god knows why she wants my input... Wills would be a much better choice I'm thinking."

"I'm betting the squirt just wants `hang time' with big sis... you are kinda thinly spread just now... probably misses ya." Faith could imagine just how easy it would be to miss Buffy's company.

"No worries anyhow... I'll find some other booty to bust my moves with."

"What about Kennedy?" She mentally slapped herself as soon as she said that. She `really' didn't wanna talk about `Faith and Kennedy'... she wished that there was no `Faith and Kennedy'.

"What about her?..." She made a show of checking her body parts,

"Nope... not seeing any marks of ownership here... must be I'm still fancy free."

"So what... it's just `sex'... no feelings?... just like that?"

"Just like what B?... sure I have feelings... she's a great kid, good fun... but past that, you know me... sex is just that... sex."

Buffy shook her head, not understanding.

"But how can you do that... I mean, sex without emotion... I've been there... and really... not good for the soul..." she thought back to her times with Spike and visibly shuddered... what had she been thinking?

"...why do you limit yourself to empty sex? wouldn't it be nice to have someone special... something more?"

"Why mess up a good thing... I mean really B, who says that way is the right way?... to me sex isn't meant to be about anything deeper then the depth of a hole."

The older slayer screwed her nose up at the meaning of the comment.

"Beautiful imagery Faith... you're words paint a picture."

"Ya know I'm right B... people may get off on dressing it up as something romantic... but it's not... it's just human nature. If I'm hungry... I eat... if I'm thirsty... I drink... tired... I sleep... and well... if I'm horny... then I fuck. Nothing more... nothing less."

"So you don't believe in love?" It seemed very important for Buffy to know this, she didn't know quite why she wanted to know how capable of love the younger girl was, but she did.

"Not a question of not believing... more about not wanting. And we weren't talking about love... we were talking about sex... there you go mixing them up again."

"So you do believe in love?"

Faith looked at her quizzically,

"What is your deal with love tonight... I would've thought you would've sworn off it too after Soulboy and the soldier... I'm telling ya B... much less complicated."

"But how can ya say that if you've never been in love?" She should drop it she knew... but some part of her kept pushing.

"Stop assuming about me B. I didn't say I had never been in love... I said I don't want it now. Don't ever assume I don't know love B..." Faith was getting worked up, she wanted the subject closed... it felt like Buffy was pushing for something and she couldn't work out what... it was pissing her off.

"...I've been consumed by love... felt it take over me... pull me apart... been on top of the world... and then seen that world end... almost literally by the way..." she hoped she hadn't said too much.

"...and I've decided it's not for me." She mentally pulled herself back together, even just the subject of love had been enough to freak her out.

"Maybe I am missing out on some big heart soaring goodness... but I'm telling ya... missing the highs... I'll take that any day over living the lows... been there B... not pretty."

Buffy was stunned... she knew Faith was all about getting some and getting gone... she didn't realise that the girl was totally shut off from the idea of love though. Sure she herself had experienced a rocky ride on the old love train... but to never love again... that thought was scary. She hadn't missed the reference to the `end of the world' either... she pretty much knew that Faith had been in love with her before... she hadn't realised how deep it ran though. She was shocked really. And she still couldn't let it go...

"So if one day you felt all `lovey dovey' towards someone... you would just dismiss it... just like that... regardless of anything?"

"For fucks sake B... can you not drop it?... I'm bored with this ok... just leave it!"

"Cranky much?... I was only asking."

"Well stop."

"Ok then."

That sat in silence... Faith smoking... Buffy thinking.

"I'm gonna head home then..."

"Uh-huh."

"You Bronzing?"

"Yep."

The blonde slayer got up to head home, turning before she walked away.

"Are you pissed at me... cos I was only asking... and if..."

"B. Shut up." She looked up at the departing girl and heaved a sigh.

"B... wait."

"What?"

A thousand different words ran through her head... all trying to make their way from her brain to her mouth. She censored most of them... after her outburst on love... well words like... beautiful and special and touch and kiss... they didn't seem like words she should be saying... they were there though, regardless of whether she chose to ignore them or not.

"I'm not pissed... ok?"

"Ok."

"So... are you pissed now?"

Buffy smiled down at her,

"maybe..." she saw the briefest look of upset cross the younger girls face

"... but not! We are both officially not pissed!"

Faith laughed, rose and headed in the opposite direction of Buffy to get to the Bronze. She didn't know why she stopped to engage the other girl one last time... she didn't think to do it... it just happened.

"Hey B?..."

"Now what?"

"... Grrrrr..."

"Kidding... ha ha?"

"What you said..." Buffy looked at her confused, afterall Faith had said a lot of things.

"Would I just dismiss love... regardless of anything? If I felt... `lovey dovey'?..." she tried to think about what it was she wanted to say...

"if I felt `something' would I act on it?... No. I can't do that... I don't `want' to do that... but would I still feel it?... always... with everything i am."

"Me too."

They smiled softly at each other and went their separate ways. Neither girl really knew what had prompted their brief, yet intense, debate on love. As they walked to their separate destinations though, they were both still lost in all that was said... both starting to wonder what it was they felt towards the other girl.

One intensely hopeful... the other intensely scared.

Pov None.

The two girls were reclining on the bed, propped up on their elbows, facing each other... engrossed like only best friends could be in conversations about everything and nothing... touching base... reaffirming closeness. It had been too long since Willow and Buffy had found the time to just chill and catch up. Willow had been worried about Buffy lately aswell. It seemed as though her new found lease of life and matching smile had become less apparent over the last few days and she was determined... as was her duty as best friend... to find out what had dampened the blonde girls enthusiasm. Herself and Tara had noticed how Buffy's smile had grown the more and more time she spent with Faith, so it seemed only natural now to assume that the lack of smiling also had to do with the dark slayer.

"... So tell me Buff... we're playing `anywhere but here', where ya going? What ya doing?" Willow hoped that by initiating the game she could find the cause of the other girls melancholy, she could of course ask outright, but being best friends and all... she was well aware that directness often brought out Buffy's defensiveness. If she asked her what was wrong, Buffy would only clam up and insist that all was well in the slayers universe.

"Anywhere but here... that says it all Will. No elaboration necessary."

"Whoa no fair Buffy! I want details... now me, I'm gonna go beach. Yep definitely beachy goodness here... and Tara goodness of course... sun, sea and sexy Tara... whaddya think to Hawaii?"

"Mass of land surrounded by sea?"

"Ok... now it sounds less romantic... I was thinking moonlit strolls, flower garlands, beautiful sunsets... me and Tara all snuggly under the stars." she caught the brief but wistful look as it passed through Buffy's eyes.

"So come on, really... anywhere but here?"

"You're so lucky Will."

"What?"

"Lucky. You have Tara, Tara has you. A whole big heap of luckyness."

"Don't I know it... she is so... well she is everything." she smiled softly to herself at the thought of just how lucky she was... and then she remembered her quest to de-angst her friend.

"So you wanna get lucky with someone?"

Buffy's eyes spread wide, was her best friend asking what it sounded like she was asking?

"Lucky with someone Will?..."

Willow's eyes also spread wide as she realised how it sounded... she had meant to ask if Buffy was looking for love... not looking to get laid.

"OH... uh... not `lucky', lucky... not like score lucky..." she flustered as she thought how to un put her foot in it.

"Calm Will... I get what ya meant... maybe for a second I thought you were suggesting... well ya know... `lucky', lucky... but no, I get ya."

"You get me... and?..."

"And I don't think luck is heading my way." The small slayer visibly sagged as she said this, wasted desires causing the slump in her shoulders and the weight in her heart.

"Hey Buffy..." Willow reached out to her friend, she could see pain etched on her features and wanted it to stop

"...what is it huh? Why so sad?"

"Not sad Will... just... I don't know... it's just..." she trawled through her thoughts of the last few days, she wanted to tell her friend, to seek solace... but she didn't know if she was ready to put her thoughts into words... it was hard enough dealing with unspoken wants... but to vocalise them...to admit it.

She looked at her friend, and the need to unburden herself became too great a weight to carry anymore.

It was in whispered tones that she finally spoke the cause of her torment.

"... it's Faith, Will... it's just... Faith." If it was possible, she seemed to sag even more as she whispered the words... it was as if she wanted to shrink away from them as they dared to leave her mouth.

Willow wasn't stunned or shocked, after all she had known, or guessed she had known the cause of Buffy`s hurt. In fact right at that moment there was a small part of Willow doing a little happy dance in her head at her super sonic perception skills... `Yay... go me!' She put the happy dance to bed though and drew her mind back to the problem at hand... `so Buffy likes Faith... and I `know' Faith likes Buffy... so the problem is...'

"So you're wiggin cos of the girl thing huh?... cos I know that... I remember with Tara... and my head was like... Whoa... and then my body was like... Woo hoo... and I wanted to... but with the wiggin... and the Whoa... and..."

Buffy couldn't help but smile, Willow was just too cute sometimes... completely wrong... but still cute.

"It's not the girl thing Will... I'm `definitely' fine with the girl thing." She thought back to her sexcapade of the last year...

"I mean come on Will...I screwed a bleach blonde vamp for the better part of the last year... a bit of `girl on girl'... so not wiggin."

"Hey!... I slept with a werewolf and I was still wiggin... you must be freaking out a little bit huh?"

"Two vampires and a secret government soldier boy... there is no freaking left in me."

"So you're not freaking about the girly goodness... so you're... uh... help me Buffy?"

"It's not the girly goodness... it's just the `girl' in question... I mean, how stupid?"

"You think Faith's stupid?" Willow was confused, sure Faith wasn't higher education girl... but she sure wasn't slow... she hid her intelligence well, what with the cursing and all... but it was still there to see... and since when had Buffy been concerned with intelligence as a benchmark for dating? Riley wasn't exactly an Einstein that was for sure.

"No Will... I do not think Faith is stupid. I think that me liking Faith is stupid."

"Oooh... that makes more sense, cos I was thinking `Faith... not stupid'... not that you liking Faith is stupid either... I didn't mean..."

Buffy had to wonder to herself how anyone `ever' managed to finish a conversation with Willow, it was like her brain wanted to travel in every direction at the same time... it had to get tiring in there.

"Breathe Will."

"... breathing."

"I don't think liking Faith is stupid... I know it is. The other night, when we slayed, it was great, better then great, everything was how it should be, we were like... like a force, this unstoppable force... just me and her... working together..."

Willow smiled as her mind was cast back to Chem class all those years ago, `Buffy's ode to Faith', it was almost like déjà vu.

"...and there was banter... and laughing, cos you know how funny Faith is..."

She wondered how long Buffy could go on for.

"... Oh and grunting... but you get used to the grunting... it's almost endearing after a while...stake the vamp and `uhn'..."

She had to stop her, she was calling grunting endearing!

"Buffy?... BUFFY!"

"What... huh?"

"I get that you like Faith ok?... but why the stupid?... I mean, well, Faith likes you too right?" She hoped she wasn't putting her foot in it... she was sure that Faith liked Buffy... it was `so' obvious... the wistful looks... silent gazes... how she hangs on every thing Buffy says.

"Well it doesn't matter does it Will... cos Faith, she's just `too cool' to fall in love right? Why bother with the messy stuff when she has no strings sex whenever she wants it? I mean... don't worry if my heart is aching... No... I asked her Will, the other night after the slaying... if love was staring her in the face... what would she do? And ya know what she said?..."

Willow didn't know if she was supposed to answer, she was just making a suitable sentence in her head when Buffy continued her rant.

"...nothing. Nothing?... what kinda fucked up logic is that?"

Willow shook her head,

"uh... not very logic, logic?"

"Exactly... it's fucked up logic. And she goes on about `I don't `want' to feel it'... well lucky for her... I don't `want' to feel it... but I'm not getting a choice... it sucks Will."

The red head was filled with compassion for her friend, she hated seeing her so worked up and upset, she was determined that she would help her end her distress.

"But when you asked her Buffy... did you tell her why you wanted to know... cos Faith... not all with the sharing... and if she thought you were just enquiring on a friendly basis... well she might have decided not to tell... but if you told her why... well maybe it would be different."

"Not gonna happen Will... believe me, it wouldn't matter... she was adamant... love is a no-no. Now if I wanted sex, well I don't think she would have a problem there... cos sex... yeah that's fine... nothing involved there... god forbid sex meant anything... and hey! She has Kennedy to give her all the no strings, pointless, fucking, fucking she needs!" Wow it felt good to get that out! She hated Faiths version of what sex is all about... and she hated that Kennedy was giving it to her as well.

"Tough one Buffy... but I still think you should give Faith the chance to decide for herself what she wants. She might be just waiting for you to offer a trip on the good ship `Buffylove'... maybe she's just scared of being hurt..." Willow knew that Faith wasn't someone you would put into the `most likely to settle down' category... but she also believed that there was `something' between the slayers... and that given a chance it could be more.

"...and hey... if ya don't want Kennedy all over your woman... maybe you should think about being all over her instead." she winked across at Buffy, aiming to lift the cloud of doom that was surrounding the girl.

"You don't think I don't want to Will?... I can barely think of anything else... but ya know... for me... and it's not wiggin... but I've never been with a girl... and I'm not `scared'... heck I couldn't be more excited, have you `seen' Faith... I mean WOW... but it's huge for me... and I don't want some cheap roll in the hay that doesn't mean anything the next day... I want it to be special... `I' want to be special... is that wrong?"

"Goddess no Buff... and you `are' special. I understand... you want faith to want you... not just to screw you."

"Exactly"

"Well give it time... I've never known anyone resist Buffy charm for too long..."

"Parker."

"...yeah but he was an idiot..."

"Riley left me."

"... also an idiot..."

"I remember Angel left me too."

"...Cursed..."

"What?... you think I'm cursed?"

"Huh?... no, no ,no, Angel left cos he was cursed... not you..."

"It's ok Will, I get the picture... I was trying for funny." Buffy smiled at her friend, she felt a little better now that she had shared her problems, and she wanted to lighten the tone, get a few giggles in before the world interrupted.

"Anyway will...?"

"Yeah?"

"So tell me what I have to look forward to... with the girl on girl... you've got experience... care to share some tips?" She laughed out loud at Willows face, it was past flustered.

"You want tips?... sex tips?"

"Calm down... I don't want details... `Yet', I might add... just tell me the difference, you were with Oz, and now you're with Tara... what's the difference?"

Where should she begin? She didn't know if she could explain this one without giving details... there was just so much difference... and not just because of anatomy... everything was different.

"Burgers and steak!"

"Burgers and steak...?"

Willow nodded excitedly, if she couldn't give details, she could give metaphors.

"Yup, Oz was burgers... and I like burgers, cos they're nice and filling... and hey... you can even put relish on them and spice them up... so yeah, burgers nice... but then Tara?... well Tara is steak... and not some cheap slab of meat either... prime cuts... juicy and moist... disintegrates in your mouth..."

"Whoa there Willow... I said no details yeah?"

"What?... OH... no I meant the steak, though `juicy and moist'... also Tara." she grinned at Buffy, oh yes, Tara was definitely steak.

The small slayer digested the information from Willow...

"so you're saying that sleeping with Faith would be like eating steak?"

"Uh... I gotta tell ya Buff... if you and Faith got together... well I think you'd be talking more... five course meal with extra dessert!... what with slayer stamina and all."

Buffy had to laugh at that, she could more then imagine how much slayer stamina could add to sex... and extra dessert... well...

"Gateaux... Faith would be gateaux."

"Ya think so?"

"Oh come on... I know so... all that texture and creaminess... and it's all dark and just looks so yummy... and then you taste it, and you can't begin to describe just how good it is... and more... you always want more..."

Faith's Pov

Just when things are going good, they have to go all stupid! The other night... slaying... so everything's good. A bit deep and meaningful... but no big. Or so I thought. And now it's like Buffy is avoiding me like the plague. Go figure?

I let her have her way, stay out of contact, hang with the potentials... but what's the point? I mean we haven't fallen out... no big fights... she just seems... distant? So now I'm looking for her, cos I sure as hell am not letting this carry on. And I miss her.

I've been thinking about what she said... the questions she asks... and it makes me wonder. It makes me wonder if maybe Buffy Summers isn't having romantic thoughts about me. And then I kick myself... cos really who am I kidding? But then, maybe she is... and what does that mean?... other then a whole lot of trouble. I don't want love. I want Buffy... I think. I mean... I do want Buffy... but do I `want' Buffy? Apparently, according to the girl herself, there is a difference. Can't just call it sex and get it done with... has to be all flowers and candy... and I don't do flowers and candy But maybe I should do flowers and candy?... but then flowers die, and too much candy gives ya belly ache... and oh the confusion!

So I'm gonna find her now and sought this out. Kennedy and the potentials are heading out tonight, getting their groove on... I figure I can tempt B to come with, and we can show the young ones how a slayer grooves. Loosen the tension and get back to basics... and well... if she wants to talk... I'll talk.

Pov None.

Faith climbed the last of the stairs in her quest to find Buffy. Willows door was slightly open and she could hear murmured voices.

As she got closer she could make out the words coming from within...

"You think so?"

"Oh come on... I know so... all that texture and creaminess... and it's all dark and just looks so yummy... and then you taste it, and you can't begin to describe just how good it is... and more... you always want more..."

... wow, that sure sounded like something tasty.

She pushed open the door to find the two girls with dreamy expressions on their faces.

"Hey girls... what ya talking about."

Buffy looked up first, and pure panic spread across her features.

"Huh?... erm... talking, just talking."

Willow was also panicked by Faiths sudden arrival, she just couldn't be sure how much had been heard.

"Gateaux... Buffy was talking about gateaux... creamy goodness ya know?"

Faith was perplexed... why did they look like they had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar?

"Gateaux huh?... sure sounded better then gateaux... hell it sounded good enough to be me."

Unfortunately for Buffy she let her shock at hearing Faiths words completely take control of her mind, and the words she spoke, were not the words she wanted to say.

"You?... Hah! Why would I be talking about you?... and like that? Na Huh, no way... not gonna happen... not a chance in hell..."

That hit faith like a ton of rocks, five seconds ago she was questioning to herself whether Buffy had `feelings' for her... she was even questioning whether she had feelings back... and now... now Buffy had just taken her tiny, growing, thoughts of `something' more... and well... pissed all over them really.

"Good job too B... although I gotta tell ya..." she motioned her hands down her body, sure to emphasise each curve and gentle angle,

"...ya see this?... this is much, 'much' better then any kind of gateaux... and you... well lets just say I'd never let you have so much as a taste... I guess that makes us even yeah?"

Buffy was gob smacked... she was still stuck on the words she had said to Faith... and then the words faith said back... and the hands down the body... and heck, the body... and tasting... and what?

"Even, Faith...?"

"Yeah sweet cheeks... you wouldn't want me... I wouldn't want you... even. Both sides equal."

Willow chose this moment to get involved. As an outsider she had seen what had happened... Buffy's shock at almost discovery... Faith's hurt at Buffy's words... and then Faiths need to strike back... it was all so simple looking on.

"Guys, guys, guys... a little calm please? Cos the tension in this room... head rushy ok?... and I wouldn't normally do this... the whole butting in and suggesting stuff... but you two... what can I say... `Get a room already!'... understand?"

Buffy looked from Willow to Faith... could it really be that simple... could that stop all this craziness from happening over and over... maybe if she had `just sex' with faith, then the tension would go... and the feelings that she didn't even think she wanted would go... and they could get back to friendship... and...

Faith looked over at Buffy... it wasn't that simple... sure the thought of fucking B... it was immense... and the getting a room... she'd love to... but for Buffy she knew it would have to mean more... and how could she think about more, when every time it looked like something might happen...everything just goes crazy again... it happened years ago... and she could see it now... the doubting herself... the impulsive feelings... things that clouded her judgement and left her open to failure. She didn't want that. How many times did she have to have that thought. I do NOT want love.

She went towards the door and threw a quick glance back to the witch and her sister slayer.

"Not gonna happen Red... not a chance in hell... that's right yeah B?"

And with that she left the room, headed down the stairs and straight out the door. She would slay, she would dance and she would fuck. She would not think about Buffy Summers... she would not think about being with Buffy Summers... and under no circumstances what so ever would she think about loving Buffy Summers.

Back in Willow's room things were going differently.

Because all Buffy could think about was Faith... about being with Faith... and most of all about loving Faith.

Now all she had to figure out was how to get faith.

Buffy's Pov

Why am I such a dope?

That's what's running round and round my head just now. I cant believe that I said what I said to Faith. There's me telling her there's no hope in hell of me ever thinking about her `that' way... and yet all I can think about is her in exactly `that' way. Everything just seems to go all messy when it comes to me and Faith. But I'm sick of the mess.

Since our little `run in' the other day, as I like to call it, well things are just wrong. I walk into the same room as her, she leaves, I speak to her, she grunts and then leaves. There's far too much leaving going on, how am I ever meant to make things right if I can't pin her down for more then five seconds. Pinning her down... now that way has definite possibilities. Maybe not the best way to start a conversation... but as an ice breaker... well the possibility is there.

Now today we have this stupid tournament. Giles' idea... and I thought he was smart. It seems that to increase our level of training and to help the potentials along, we're gonna have a little rough and tumble in the garden. It's all very organised... Xander's been marking out the circular ring... Willow's doing the whole drawing names out of a hat thing... I think Dawn might be hanging streamers... a regular little festival of fun in the making.

Now I'm not worried about tangling with the potentials... I'd quite like to get my hands on Kennedy in a semi-violent kinda way... but well Giles in his infinite wisdom has decided that me and Faith must be seeded, and placed in opposite ends of the draw... that's fair you may think... but we all know what it means really don't we? It means that come final time I'm gonna be facing off against a very pissed at me slayer. Oh yes, festival of fun indeed. I suppose it could bring the pinning thing into play... but I'd rather clear the air first.

I have so much to say if only she would listen. I think it's time to explain to her just what she means to me. Now I'm not silly, I'm not gonna rush in with words like `love', I know she wouldn't appreciate the sentiments... but I have to let her know. At least if she knows how I feel, there won't be so much chance of confusion in the future. And I'm sick of the confusion.

It hurts to know that my feelings won't be returned though. It hurts a lot.

She doesn't stop outside my room anymore... and she never comes in to whisper goodnight. I guess what I said the other day must've really hurt her. Lots and lots of hurting. Welcome to the `Buffy and Faith school of love'... failure guaranteed.

Willow thinks I can `break down her defences and teach her to love'. I really had to laugh at that one... cos me and love... probably not best that I do any teaching. And to be honest, I don't think it's about breaking down defences. Faith's a big girl, and she knows what she wants... if she doesn't want love, who are we to tell her she's wrong? Who am I to tell her anything?

I was tempted to jump her and show her how I was feeling. I remembered just in time though that showing Faith I love her with hot, sweaty, horniness... I think she would misinterpret the signals... she'd probably just assume that I'd decided to live a little for a change. It's a shame though, cos that way... I'm thinking fun, fun, fun. So I need a strategy.

I need to make Faith realise I didn't mean what I said the other day. I need to make Faith realise just how much I lo... whoa... not love... how much I ... value her? Hmmm she might go for that... `hey Faith... I really value you... think you might value me too?'... could work. Right. And most of all I have to make her see how much I need her... regardless of how and why, and anything else... I just need her.

Without her... well without her feels like this. And this is shit.

So I'm gonna sit here, in my room and strategise. Giles would be proud... well if I was strategising over something more apocalyptic maybe he would be... but to me, well this seems bigger then apocalyptic. So yes strategies... I'm gonna stay here till the whole wrestle fest... and when it's time I'm gonna have a plan... a cunning plan... a plan to beat all other plans.

And I think I might be doomed.

"Buuufffffffffyyyyyyyyy!!!...."

And how am I sposed to plan anything with Dawn screaming like a banshee? Doesn't she remember slayer hearing? And I thought I was a dope!

Oh look... she also forgets how to knock on the door. Double dope.

"Come on Buffy... it's tournament time."

Does she have to sound so excited, I mean really... it's just training with streamers.

"Ok, ok... so has the draw been done yet... all the little pieces of paper been folded and swirled around, and placed in corresponding order on the colour coded championship chart?"

She's looking at me oddly.

"How did you know about the colour coded chart?... it was meant to be a surprise!"

"There's colour coding?"

Oh my God... my life... welcome to it.

"Well... you're in the red half of the draw and Faith's in the blue... and the potentials were ordered according to ability and Giles decided who went where and in which colour... and then in each match you have a colour too... but I don't remember who is what... or why is what... or something."

"Right... glad we got that cleared up." Could I be more confused?

"So who's in my side of the draw?"

"I don't remember... I know Kennedy is there... I think you meet her in the semi's... well if you both win your matches of course, which you will, being a slayer and all, and she might, cos she's pretty good."

Kennedy in the semi-final. Faith in the final.

Yay.

"So dawnie...?"

"Yeah?"

"You think I might take a beating what with Kennedy and then Faith?"

"No way... Kennedy may be good, but you're so gonna kick her ass."

"Thanks little sis... and Faith?"

She has her diplomatic face on now... surely she doesn't think Faith is gonna beat me?

"Uh... well... I want you to win Buff, and be champion of champions... but well Faith's good too... and I heard her telling the potentials she was gonna kick your ass."

She what? She's gonna kick my ass? Oh this is gonna be so good.

"Faith's gonna kick my ass huh? Well that's never happened before... so I'm thinking... nope! Not gonna happen now!"

I look at Dawn and give her what I hope is my `invincible big sister' face. This tournament thing... I thought it was stupid. Training with streamers. Colour coded charts. I thought it was really stupid.

So Faith's gonna kick my ass...

I can barely wait to begin!

Pov None.

The ring was approximately ten metres in diameter. Nothing fancy, just a rope pegged out at the correct distances to form a near perfect circle. There was a table for refreshments, a couple of balloons and a whole heap of streamers. There was also a group of girls just itching to start the fighting, keen to test themselves against their `friends', but also keen to prove themselves to the watching slayers. The draw had been made and each girl knew who they would be fighting and when, it was up to them whether they chose to stay and watch, or go and spar, gaining some last minute practice. Most girls stayed to watch.

All they were waiting for now was Buffy and Dawn to arrive, and the formal stuff like rules and sportsmanship.

Faith surveyed the scene with amusement, it was almost fourth of July carnival atmosphere, not that she'd ever been to a fourth of July carnival... but she had a darn good imagination. The excited chatter of the potentials... Giles striding round like the lord mayor... Willow and Tara necking in the bushes... `Whoa... go Red'... yep, definitely carnival time.

She felt Buffy approaching before she saw her, as was the case with the two slayers, turning her head just as Dawn walked through the door. And then there she was. And then Faith realised she might be in trouble.

Buffy looked like a goddess... head held high and a proud set to her shoulders... and the challenge flashing in her eyes... it was unmistakable. She looked like a warrior going in to battle... a battle she intended to win.

Faith wasn't the only one to notice Buffy's appearance and a hush fell over the waiting girls. Her determination was plain for each of them to see, and it was more then one of them who silently checked the draw again to see if they would have to face her. Those who did, were not envied.

Giles took his place in the centre of the `ring' to state the rules, the gravity with which he read them lending a more officious air to the proceedings.

"Rule one: A winner will be declared after a contender is pinned for a mandatory three count, or if they are ejected from the ring. The whole body must leave the ring, in its entirety."

"So no dismembering and throwing body parts around, hey then G-man?"

"No, thank you Faith, now if you would please leave the juvenile commentary till after the rules... that would be much appreciated."

"Sure thing G... just wanted to clear some things up ya know... cut out the confusion."

"Well there will be plenty of time to ask questions at the end, now if I may continue?"

"Stage is yours."

A few of the potentials laughed along at Faith's display, she certainly had a fair bunch of followers when it came to the potentials... the fact that she spent most of her time hanging out with them and training with them had a lot to do with it... and also the fact that she treated them as friends... Buffy was all about the orders and the regimes... Faith saw them as the girls they were, and all of them appreciated it.

"Right then, rule number two: The idea of the contest is skill... it is not a question of beating each other up, so no deliberate attempts to cause undue harm, especially the slayers who will be expected to rein in their strength accordingly."

"Ya know I've gotta speak don't cha G?"

"At the end, Faith!" The authority with which he spoke caused even Faith to bite her tongue, not something that many people could do. Any people really.

He continued,

"Right then... that's the rules. Any questions?"

He turned and looked Faith with a glint in his eye, he may be getting on, but Rupert Giles could still play with the best of them. For her part the dark slayer just looked stunned, it wasn't everyday she was fooled by a tweedy British guy... she was deciding she might just have to re-evaluate her opinions of old Mr Giles.

Buffy was the first to speak,

"What about the final?"

Giles looked momentarily confused.

"The final?"

"The final... at the end... last two standing..."

"...fight to the death..."

"Yeah funny Faith... what's the rules in the final?"

"Should they be different then?"

"Well assuming it's me and Faith... well do we have to rein in our strength... cos I don't really wanna... and also the three count... lets make it five... ya know, make a real contest out of it."

"Faith do you have anything to add?"

"Nope... B wants me to pound on her... fine by me... and as for the count... five by five right?"

Giles looked at the faces all around him,

"Does anyone else have anything to add?"

"Yeah... I do." Kennedy stood up from her place on the ground and turned to face Buffy.

"Don't assume your gonna be in any finals... `B'... cos from where I'm standing you've gotta go through me."

Buffy would've found Kennedy's bravery heart warming... if she wasn't so busy laughing at her on the inside, also that and the fact she didn't like the girl... oh and she called her `B'...could she be asking any louder for a beating?

"Tell ya what `Ken'... how's about you roll over now and save me the trouble of putting you on your back later... although on your back is how you like to get with slayers huh?" She knew she shouldn't of... but really, Kennedy had been bugging her forever and she felt like a little verbal sparring could be just the tonic.

"Leave it B."

"Not asking for your opinion Faith."

"Wasn't offering it B, just telling like it is... leave it."

She really, really wanted to do this now, but she knew she shouldn't. Having made the decision to fix things with the dark slayer, it really would be best not to start a full blown battle with her now... besides that chance would come in the final.

"Ok. I'll leave it... for now... Be waiting for ya in the semi's Kennedy, look forward to catching up." She smiled a smile of over loaded sweetness and headed off to Willow and Tara... she knew the potentials weren't particularly fond of her anyway... now that would be worse and she could do without being surrounded by their masses.

As she turned away she couldn't help but overhear Kennedy's whispered `bitch', nor could she help but catch the look in Faith's eyes... a look of absolute determination and challenge. Deep within herself Buffy felt the beginnings of excitement. She loved a challenge.

For Faith everything was inconsequential except the final. The other girls may have been excited to be pitted against the dark slayer, but for her part she knew she would not remember the ones she would fight, there was only one fight going on in her head... the fight against Buffy. A fight she had been having for years. It seemed strange that this episode would be fought out under balloons and streamers, with Dawn's home made `Champion of champions' banner floating in the breeze. Very strange, but also inconsequential. In the very depth her being, Faith was feeling the unmistakable stirring of excitement... her and Buffy, down and dirty... just about the most exciting thing she could think of. She laughed to herself...almost the most exciting thing she could think of! She had to wonder if she finally had within her what it would take to beat the older girl... she wanted to win, for pride of course... but also it went deeper. Ask her what it was and she probably couldn't find the words... it was just the challenge that was `Buffy'.And Faith really loved a challenge.

Faith's Pov

This is all too much fun.

I of course have cruised to the final... not that there was ever a doubt, but it still feels good to be here. The girls have done well, it was good to see them busting some of the moves I've been teaching them... makes me so proud. Ha ha ha. Who ever would've figured me for teaching anything. Impressive huh?

Buffy has been flying through with ease as well. You could see how determined she looked earlier... was damn hot. I haven't watched any of her fights so far though. I'm horny enough from my own work out... watching Buffy at her sweaty best... that way leads to frustration!

Kennedy was sniffing round for tips on beating Buffy a while ago... I wanted to say run now... but it wouldn't do to dent the girls enthusiasm. I was almost tempted to work out my frustrations on Kennedy then and there... I don't think sending her into the ring with depleted energy reserves, against a pissed of slayer would be too good a move though. So I'm still frustrated.

Most of the fights have been good natured so far, yet I have this real big idea that all that's about to change. Especially after the little exchange this morning. I really don't know what Buffy's beef is with Ken... she just doesn't seem to like the girl. Mind you Kennedy isn't exactly fond in return. Lots of aggro there. I don't envy her if she mouths off at Buffy during the fight... I can get away with it... but then I can take her punches.

I guess if things get out of hand I can step in. Me in between a sweaty Buffy and Kennedy having a bitch fight. Did I mention I'm a little frustrated?

Buffy's Pov

All I can think about is beating Kennedy. And I don't mean `beating' in the victory sense... I mean in the causing physical pain sense. I know I can't... and I almost know I won't... but I can't help but smile at the temptation.

It's not just jealousy... although I am big enough to admit that maybe, just possibly, I might have feelings that are `jealous like' in their nature towards her... It's like she wants to rub my nose in the fact that she is fucking Faith. Like I need my nose rubbed in it... I swear she screams a little louder sometimes just so I can hear the whole shebang in surround sound. Maybe if I just rip out her vocal cords?

Has some merit as a plan.

It's a shame this is all happening, it causes an upset in the camp. The potentials are all Kennedy and Faith fans, so I get painted as the big bad bitch... it doesn't bother me as such... winning a popularity contest with a bunch of girls... well that's not my thing... but with the possibility of a something big and nasty coming... well you'd think that everyone would pull together.

Sometimes I wish Kennedy would just piss off and stay over at Giles' place. But then she wouldn't be able to get under my skin would she?

It's time to go teach her a little lesson in why you shouldn't piss off a slayer.

I always wanted to be a teacher.

Kennedy's Pov

I have a plan. I know I can't beat Buffy on strength alone... so I guess I'm gonna have to use her own strength against her. Giles has warned the slayers to rein it in against us lesser girls... I don't want that... I want Buffy to lose it... that way lies disqualification. So I'm gonna push her. And I know how.

I know what she wants.

I bet it must really hurt to see me and Faith sometimes. I see her pining eyes. Such want and desire there.

I've become an expert screamer... just for Buffy's pleasure. As I feel Faith entering me at night... I just hope it all sounds good for Buffy. I try my hardest. If she can't have what she wants, the least I can do is show her what she is missing. I like to think of it as my stab at friendship.

Like I'd ever want to be her `friend'.

She is so up herself it's scary. Always ordering people about as if we were put here for her pleasure. I tell ya... if this big bad we're all supposed to be afraid of ever surfaces... well I'm not so sure Buffy's gonna have too many people watching her back. We all know who we want to follow in to battle. And it sure as hell isn't Buffy Summers!

Oh look... time to go play.

Let's see how long it takes to piss of a slayer...

Pov None.

The fight so far was uneventful. There had been circling and stalking... a few searching jabs, the testing of distance. But no strikes landed. You would have to have been blind not to notice the venom barely concealed in each girls eyes, and the atmosphere of the spectators was almost tense in its acknowledgement. The potentials were still vocal in their support of their friend... but it was as if they could sense that there was a very definite under current of something else occurring.

Kennedy was wearing a smirk on her face that was driving Buffy insane, sure she hadn't landed any punches yet, but she was still flexing her muscles... loosening up... she couldn't understand the other girls air of cockiness.

"You gonna keep that grin plastered to your face the whole time I kick your ass Kennedy?"

Kennedy for her part was just waiting for the fun to begin. She couldn't help the swagger to her hips or the smile on her face. She had been waiting to have a dig at Buffy for far too long... she had wanted to take her down a peg or two for weeks now... and to see the opportunity appear in front of her... well it was just too good not to smile about.

"I don't see you kicking anything, and as for the grin... someone once told me I had a pretty smile..."

"I'll be seeing what I can do to change that..."

Buffy moved in and laid a soft jab on Kennedy's face... nothing too hard... just a promise of things to come... a sweetener.

The potential just laughed and her smirk grew wider.

"I'm not ticklish... I thought this was supposed to be a fight... that the best ya got there?"

"I don't think you want my best..."

"Don't be scared to hurt me Buffy... I like to play rough..." She threw a meaningful glance in Faiths direction and then leered at the blonde slayer... it was time to take it up a notch.

Faith was intrigued. The heat being generated from the ring was beyond intense. It felt like hatred and that worried the dark haired slayer. She knew hatred after all. Had been on first name terms with it a few times. She knew that there was no love lost between the two opponents in front of her, but she never realised there was anything this heated raging beneath the surface. She was at a loss to think of a reason why. Part of her was considering the idea that the two girls wanted to fuck and this was the outlet for frustration. Buffy and Kennedy...? She thought for a moment but discarded the notion... no that wasn't it, no matter how good it would look.

Jealousy was good for building hate. She had been on first name terms with jealousy as well. But why would there be jealousy? Could Kennedy be jealous of Buffy's slayer status? She knew the girl was itching for the power... but why be so jealous of Buffy and yet friendly with herself? And why would Buffy be jealous of Kennedy...? That was the real stumper... she could think of nothing that Kennedy had that Buffy could want. She was definitely intrigued.

And what was with the look Kennedy just shot her, and the `liking it rough' comment? It almost sounded to Faith as if the young trainee was taunting the slayer. Apart from being at a loss for why... she was also worried about Ken's safety... getting Buffy riled was not a good way to hang on to good health. What was going on...?

Buffy had taken the definite lead in the contest. She was working her jabs well, and coming in for sweeps at will. Many times the potential had been on her back, and many times Buffy could have chosen to pin her... she didn't want to though... she wanted to draw it out... see if she couldn't inflict just a little bit of pain on the younger girl. Payback, she thought of it as.

Also that smirk... still there. And still as annoying.

"You had enough yet Kennedy... want me to put you out of your misery?"

"You think you can...?"

"Oh I know I can."

With that she dropped down and took the younger girls legs from beneath her, gave a short sharp kick to the abs and covered the girl. Just as she was moving into the pinning position Kennedy leant up to whisper in her ear...

"So tell me Buffy... when your this close... can ya smell her on me... does it get you hot?"

Buffy jumped up as if she had been shocked... physically as well as mentally... the young girls words were ringing in her ears... the truth behind them naked in her eyes. Yes she could smell Faiths aroma on Kennedy. And it made her want to puke.

"You wanna watch your mouth Kennedy... I'm just half a second away from taking you places you don't wanna go..."

The potential looked up at the slayer and positioned a sneering smile across her lips.

"You wish... `B'"

The last word spat out with a clear sense of mocking.

Faith felt the change come over Buffy. She could sense the arrival of the slayer a mile off. She could see it as well. The way Buffy's muscles tightened... coiled... prepared to unleash their power.

She had heard Kennedy's whispered words to the blonde girl... she had heard them but not understood them... what the fuck was going on?

She stood up quick... yet unaware if she was rising to protect Kennedy... or to stop Buffy. Either way it didn't matter... she was already too late.

Buffy's fist travelled with amazing speed... almost too quick to be seen by the spectators. The blood that exploded from Kennedy's cheek and nose was plain for everyone to see though... as was the way she slumped to the ground.

"What the fuck B?"

Everyone else was stunned into momentary silence, which was only broken when Kennedy drew herself up off the floor. She didn't want to get up, that was for sure... she felt like she had just been hit by a ten ton truck... it fucking hurt... a lot. But she had to get up. She felt like she was winning and she just had to push home her advantage.

"S'ok Faith... nothing I can't handle."

"I think you'd do best to stay down Kennedy don't you...?" Buffy was glowering at the girl... she couldn't believe she had just lost her cool... and in front of everyone as well. She was trying to calm herself, drawing deep breaths into her lungs, but the sight of that stupid smirk... it was making her blood boil.

"Buffy step back now!" Giles was completely thrown by his slayer's display. Being that he didn't have slayer hearing, he had not been privy to the nature of the comments that were whispered to her by Kennedy. It didn't matter though... using slayers strength against a potential was wrong. Completely wrong.

"Buffy!... Now!"

His raised tone did the trick and Buffy stepped back.

"What was the meaning of that?"

"The meaning of what Giles?... I was just showing Kennedy here that it's not nice to talk trash to people."

"It was absolutely unnecessary is what it was." He turned and looked at the bleeding potential...

"Are you ok to carry on Kennedy, or do you wish to retire?"

She wiped the blood from her face with the back of her arm and straightened her shoulders. She had a plan and the plan was working.

"I'm ok thank you, but uh...are you gonna let her hit me like that again?" She adopted an injured pose... making the most of playing on Giles' sense of responsibility and fairness.

"No Kennedy... that's not going to happen... right Buffy? Because if it does, or if it even looks like it is going to, then you are out of there... I don't know what's going on here... quite frankly I don't care... but this is not the place to work it out. This is supposed to be about training... not beating on the potentials.

Buffy looked sufficiently contrite, and Giles was placated.

"Ok then... the match will resume... without the blood lust... and be warned Buffy, I meant what I said."

She nodded over at Giles, she didn't trust her voice to speak just now... she could still feel the anger raging in her veins... but Giles was right... beating up Kennedy was not the answer... a fun alternative, but not the answer. She would just have to beat her fair and square and get on to the business of the final.

Kennedy waited until Buffy was back in the full flow of the fight, she had relaxed her stance again and was taking her down almost at will. It didn't bother Kennedy though... she was just waiting for another chance to get a dig at the slayer. She didn't have to wait long.

She had fallen onto all fours after a strong hit from Buffy, and now the older girl was just coming in close behind her to flip her for a pin, she didn't even wait for Buffy to get close enough to whisper... she was enjoying toying with the blonde girl, and whether the audience heard her didn't matter anymore.

"Ya know... Faith loves this position too... ya think it's a slayer thing?"

Buffy was gonna go for a pin, but now changed her mind... she was sick of the shit that Kennedy was coming out with... she knew what was going on... it didn't take a genius to see that Kennedy was trying to get her disqualified. Instead of the pin, she kicked the girl with the minimum of strength... going for precision instead... she knew all the major pain points on the body... something Giles had made sure of.

She caught the girl just between the base of the ribs... close to the heart. It seemed almost poetic that she was wounding the young girls heart, in return for the bashing Kennedy had been giving hers. She hoped it hurt a lot.

With Kennedy on the floor she turned and sought out the eyes of Faith. She was so angry at the potential and some of that anger was flowing out in the direction of her fellow slayer.

"How about you keep your bitch on a leash from now on Faith!"

"Don't look at me B..."

The rest of her reply went unheard as Kennedy chose that moment to sweep Buffy's feet from under her in a last show of defiance. She had not been expecting it so went down hard, winding herself in the process.

The slayer in waiting couldn't believe her luck... was she really gonna get a chance at a pin on the older girl...

She crawled over to where Buffy was laying on the floor, trying to get the air back into her system...

The crowd had gone quiet... everyone was holding there breath... in the case of the Wicca's, Dawn and Xander, it was almost in sympathy with Buffy... for everyone else it was the possibility of a potentials victory over a slayer.

The silence gave a perfect arena for Kennedy to fire her final shot at Buffy... uttered with complete disdain as she positioned herself over the girl...

"Ya know `B'... if ya fuck as well as ya fight... it's no wonder Faith doesn't want you."

For a brief second it was as if the silence had become even more so... everyone was stunned at Kennedy's words... she had been taunting Buffy all along... but this... this was more then taunting.

For those that hadn't been aware that Buffy wanted Faith... well they were aware now. It all made perfect sense... the hostility... the comments... the tension.

For those that had been aware... they were already wondering if the young potential was gonna survive.

Kennedy was still smirking... she covered the slayer and waited for the count...

It never came.

Buffy was out from under her in a second, throwing the younger girl across the ring... she was past angry... and would not let herself be beaten by the bitch that was Kennedy.

"Ya know what Ken...?"

She picked the girl up and hoisted her over her head.

"... I was gonna pin ya... but now I'm thinking I don't wanna be laying my body over anything as skanky as you..."

Within the older slayer there was a battle raging. Half of her wanted to bring the girl crashing down to the floor... full strength... but that's what the girl wanted wasn't it? To drive Buffy to lose control again... well it wasn't happening... not here, not now.

"...So I'm just gonna toss ya out this here ring... simple as that..."

And it was as simple as that.

She disposed of the girl with the utmost cool... nothing about her exterior giving away the turmoil she was feeling inside. She felt humiliated by the revelations from the younger girls mouth.

"...And Kennedy... if you ever so much as speak a fucking word to me... or even glance in my direction... well let's just say the rematch won't be so enjoyable."

Giles stepped up to declare the winner.

"Don't bother Giles... we all know the score... I'm gonna go kick back... Wills... Tar... a word?"

"Well that's fine... but the final?"

"Tell me when, I'll be here."

"Shall we say an hour? Faith... is that ok with you?"

Faith was in a daze. She had too much information trying to sort itself through her head right now. Kennedy had made it sound like Buffy wanted her... and that couldn't be right could it? Especially after the comments the other day... she knew Buffy didn't want her.

So why had Buffy gotten so darn mad?

"Faith...?"

"Wha...?"

"An hour... is that ok?"

"Suits me G... I'm just gonna go chill for a bit... clear my head."

"Ok then... everybody be back in an hour... I am going to go and see to Kennedy..."

Buffy retreated to her room with the two Wicca's. She needed some emotional bandages if she had any chance of facing Faith in the final. She knew that everyone had been able to hear Kennedy's words... and she knew the meaning behind them wasn't hard to work out. She couldn't help but wonder what was going through Faith's mind right now...

Faith was pacing the basement... stopping now and then to throw punches at the punch bag, each landing with exceptional power and strength. She was worked up. She had no idea what the fuck was going on. She knew she didn't wanna face Buffy in an hour feeling like this. If she did there was no telling what would happen... after all, the blonde haired slayer had hardly been a picture of calmness herself already today.

She wanted to go to Buffy.

She wanted to know what the hell was going on...

With all her frustration she landed a final hit on the swinging bag... it flew across the room and landed with a resounding thump.

Faith looked at it in distaste.

"Fuck this!"

With those words she left the basement and headed for the stairs.

This was getting sorted.

And it was getting sorted now.

Pov None.

"Just tell me Will... how bad is it?"

Buffy looked so wounded lying there on her bed, that Willow really didn't want to have to explain just how clear and concise Kennedy's words had been. She looked over at Tara to gain some much needed support.

"Well... it was kinda obvious what she was meaning... but I don't know if everybody heard..." That was a little lie, she was sure that everyone present would have heard the words and got the meaning... Kennedy certainly hadn't tried to keep the volume control turned low... Willow almost thought that she had raised the volume on purpose.

"Thanks for the fibs Will... but I know the sitch. I don't think she could of said it louder if she had tried... and I'm thinking the silence at the time... probably helped with the voice carrying..."

Tara felt compelled to offer some gentle reassurances, to try and heal the wounds that the potential had so knowingly inflicted.

"It's ok though Buffy... really, I mean what she said... no ones gonna listen to a word of it... it was just Kennedy spouting off. And if you don't wanna fight Faith now... if it's awkward... well I'm sure Mr Giles won't mind at all..."

Buffy had absolutely no intention of not fighting Faith. Knowing that she was gonna be able to unload her rage on the other slayer was all that was keeping her sane right now. There would be no holding back... none whatsoever. She was pissed at Kennedy... and somehow that was making her pissed at Faith.

And to think it was only this morning that she was trying to plan ways in which to set things right with the dark slayer. It made her laugh to think of that now... it was amazing how her and Faith seemed to always be precariously balanced on a thin line of friendship. One minute she wanted her... the next she just wanted to pound on her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a firm knock on the door.

"Wills, tell whoever it is to go away... I need to get my head straight ok... not make nice with the gossip committee."

Willow opened the door to the bedroom and was shocked to see a very agitated Faith standing there.

"I uh... Buffy... it's Faith."

She had felt the other slayer but just assumed she was close by... she never would have guessed that she would show up at her bedroom door.

"What does she want?"

Faith rolled her eyes at Willow, if Buffy really thought she was gonna have this conversation through the other girl as a medium... well she had another thing coming.

"Red give us a minute yeah...?"

Willow was torn, she didn't wanna abandon Buffy, but she could feel the discomfort at being placed between the two girls... Tara was looking decidedly uncomfortable aswell.

"Uh... Buff?"

"It's ok, you can give us a minute."

Relief flooded the red head's body... she really didn't want to be involved here. Ushering Tara with her, she left the room, squeezing past Faith to get out of the door.

"So what do you want?"

"A little less hostility and an invite in would be great for starters."

"You are joking yeah...? After that little display from your `girlfriend'... you think I even know how to be less hostile to you... cos really Faith... I'm struggling here."

"For fucks sake B, I didn't come up here to fight ok... that down there... I'm just as confused as you are..." Faith was about to go on when she realised she was still standing in the hallway, with absolutely no privacy.

"...Look can I come in or what?"

"I thought you had stopped paying little visits to my bedroom Faith?" Buffy couldn't help but slip that one in, she had felt the loss of Faith's presence at night... she had never known quite what it meant... but it had meant something... and now it had been withdrawn... well it hurt.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Faith knew... or she thought she did. Sure she had stopped with the late night visits... but then she had thought those visits were all about her... not something that Buffy cared for... and when her and Buffy had fallen out... well she didn't think the blonde slayer would be so appreciative of them anymore.

"Nothing Faith... it means nothing ok?"

"So can I come in?"

"You gonna pound on me?"

"I said I didn't come here to fight!" Was Buffy even listening to her?

"But fighting's what we do Faith... it's what we're good at... why do ya think we end up in this situation so often huh?"

"Well mostly I'd say because you're difficult... and confusing... and often cranky... oh and did I mention confusing?" She flashed a shit eating grin Buffy's way, she was determined to sort this out, she wouldn't allow it to disintegrate into another slanging match.

"Please don't tell me you're making jokes Faith... and I wasn't looking for an answer there ok..."

"Yeah well maybe that's where you're going wrong... this isn't just about you B... is it?"

"Your meaning?"

"Well I seem to remember my name getting thrown around an awful lot down there... and that's got me thinking... and to tell ya the truth B, I'm stumped." She considered again all the words that Kennedy had tossed Buffy's way.

"The way I see it B... I don't have a clue what all this is about... and Kennedy... well she's probably looking for a bed in the infirmary just now... so it looks like it's down to you to tell me what the hell is going on."

"Don't ya wanna go find Kennedy... kiss it all better?"

Buffy couldn't help herself. She was being asked outright what was going on and she was terrified. All she wanted was to sort things out with Faith... but she was going about it all the wrong way.

"You're driving me crazy, ya know that yeah B?" She approached the bed with caution and sat down on the end, facing her soon to be opponent.

"If I wanted to find Ken, I would be finding her... I want to sort this out... this is what's important... seriously Buffy... I'm going mad here... and me going mad... not a pretty picture remember?"

That made the smaller girl chuckle. Mad Faith was certainly not much fun.

The sincerity in her voice had touched her as well.

"I'm sorry Faith... I guess, well I guess it's all just messed up..."

"But what's messed up... why B? I hate this ya know... all I want is our friendship... and yet every other day it seems to go to shit... and I don't know why."

How could Buffy ever declare her love to a girl that was sitting there saying she wanted her friendship? It was a truly ridiculous situation.

"It's not you Faith... it's me ok?... I've just been a bit all over the place lately, and maybe I've took it out on you... I'm sorry... I want our friendship too... more then anything." She could feel tears rising in the back of her throat and she was determined not to let them spill.

"What we said... that first night sparring... I meant all of that ok?... anything since... feel free to ignore... you do make me better Faith... and all this... this is just shit."

The dark girl crawled up the bed and took Buffy in her arms, she really couldn't understand why she was so emotional... yeah it was crap that they hadn't been getting along... but surely Buffy knew how much she meant to her.

"Hey you... less with the upset ok."

She ignored the fact that her arms were wrapped around Buffy. She ignored the fact that she could, if she chose to, run her tongue in a perfect line up Buffy's neck. She ignored the fact that the strength of hug was now crushing her breasts against the smaller girls, pressing their hearts into almost intimate contact.

"So we're friends again yeah?"

She had to laugh at Buffy's whispered question... in her mind they had just been getting to the lovers part... but yeah she would take friends.

"You got it B..." she disentangled herself from the too close hug and rose from the bed.

"...but just so you know..."

Buffy was upset at the loss of contact but let it go... she could hardly demand that Faith hold her in her arms all day... just in the name of friendship.

"What's that Faith?"

"The Final... I'm not gonna go easy on ya just because you're all emotional girl... cos really I've seen that kinda ploy before... once I got in a real close call with a vamp girl that was sobbing on my shoulder... I'm wised up now."

"Oooh Faith you attract all the best girls."

"Funny B... funny."

"I try... and just so you know..."

Faith smiled a full on grin, she knew what was coming... Buffy was about to get all competitive regarding the fight. This was more like it... the way it should be.

"What ya got to say B?"

"The final... I don't want ya to go easy on me ok?... cos everything you got... you know I can handle it right?"

"Ya think so?... I got lots of new skills B... I learnt some stuff in that women's prison... and I gotta say... I'm a little worried for ya." She winked down at the girl still lying on the bed... oh yeah she had some new skills... skills that she was dying to try out on the reclining Buffy... but no, this was about the fighting.

"I thought you said you spent most of your time in the library or gym Faith... so what ya gonna do... read me a story or dazzle me with your ability to bench press... not that I'm saying they're not `wicked skills'... but do ya really think I've gotta be scared of that?"

"Just wait and see ok... just wait and see."

Faith had a plan. At the moment it was just about making an appearance in the back of her mind. Not much more then a back up plan. But it was still there... a way that if it came to it, would be sure to give her the victory she so craved over Buffy.

Buffy was unaware of the scheming going on not a foot away from her. She was wondering about what other kinds of skills faith might possess. She knew she shouldn't be thinking like this... especially so soon before she was due to get all hot and sweaty with the girl in question... but she couldn't help it. She had just been in Faith's arms, and now they were having they trademark banter which always made her feel particularly close to the younger girl.

"I'm gonna go yeah B?... see ya outside in twenty?"

"Ya better go get some last minute training in Faith... I don't wanna embarrass you in front of all your little potentials..."

"Really not gonna be an issue Blondie."

"Let's hope so for your sake..."

"I know so B."

And with that she left the room.

She passed Willow and Tara on the stairs.

"It's all right guys... I didn't kill her." She winked at them as she sauntered by,

"Ya may need to be gentle with her though... I gave her quite the work out... dunno know if she's gonna make the final."

"Huh?"

She didn't stop to elaborate, she didn't need to. The girls knew what she meant.

She was still feeling a bit wound up and needed to loosen up before the fight. So many things she hadn't said to Buffy. So many things that were becoming clear in her mind, but that she hadn't found the words to voice.

Buffy Summers wanted her.

Who would've ever believed it?

She believed it now though... and she was gonna use that knowledge to win this little fight they had coming. She remembered her first watcher always telling her that one of the most important lessons to learn, was to know what weapons to bring to what fight. She knew what weapons she needed.

Buffy Summers would not know what had hit her.

Pov None.

The `Champion of Champions'

It had started out as a simple idea, in the mind of a far from simple man, to give the potentials in his charge, and indeed the slayers an extra level of battle training and combat awareness.

When the idea had passed to Dawn, it gained it's playful name... something to add a true air of competition to the proceedings.

With Willow came the funny little colour stickers for each competitor, and an overall chart of statistics and graphs, illustrating each girls performance.

Xander had been the man who had fashioned the ring... given the people an arena in which to do battle.

The potentials had brought with them determination, guts and a true desire to fight... some had even brought with them a few acerbic comments, landing strikes in the most surprising of places.

None of it would've meant anything though if it wasn't for the two women facing off against each other now. Their faces were set in steely masks of concentration... both intensely focused on the duel that was to come.

They were both beautiful as they stood waiting for the fight to begin. The oldest girl the lightest of the two, dressed in a cut off vest and training shorts, the white of the vest complementing the gentle tan of her skin. The younger girl had chosen red as the colour of her vest... the perfect colour to bring out the danger in her eyes and off set the darkness off her hair. It would almost be a shame to see them fight each other, to see them mark what could be described as visions of perfection. It wasn't a shame though. Because when they fought, that's when their real beauty was truly apparent.

It began like all other fights, with tentative steps forward, a slow greeting between opponents looking for the early way in. The wide punches thrown to deceive, to appear less able then they were. A ballet of steps danced round the ring, punctuated only by the graceful kicks that flew through the air, again testing range and the agreeability of muscles to perform as desired.

None of the build up was necessary here though. This wasn't about a choreographed routine of exchanged blows. This was about two slayers battling for supremacy. It was also about two slayers that wanted to fuck. It may have appeared to a spectator that it was still a beautiful contest... but really... it was a down and dirty cat fight.

"So where's the new skills then Faith...? You're looking pretty old school from where I'm standing."

The young girl chose that moment to execute the perfect flip over her smaller opponent, dropping on landing to sweep her right off her feet... it was a simple move, only made more, by the comment it followed.

She couldn't resist a quick laugh at the blondes expense.

"So you want a hand up there B?"

"I think I can manage fine..." she flipped herself back to her feet, and in seconds had reversed the previous position,

"... and it looks like you're the one needing the hand Faith."

The dark haired girl conceded and placed her hand out to Buffy to obtain a pull up, at the last second, putting all her weight behind the pull, trying to displace her opponent again. Unfortunately for her, it was an expected move, so when she pulled, Buffy pulled harder and she was yanked to her feet much sooner then she was expecting.

The older girl pushed home her advantage, immediately firing a torrent of side kicks into Faith's exposed abdomen, all the while keeping her standing with the grasp on her hand.

It wasn't anything that Faith couldn't handle with ease, and she took the kicks well, waiting for the perfect moment to catch Buffy's leg against her body. They were effectively trapped now, one holding onto a hand, whilst the other had taken possession of a leg.

"So B...? You done with the foreplay... cos I'm itching to get dirty with ya."

"Oh I don't know Faith..." she motioned to the joined hands between them,

"I'm kinda liking this touchy feely getting to know each other phase."

"Always the romantic B... seems a shame to disappoint ya."

"Well then... don't."

No sooner had the words left the vicinity of her mouth, then Faith elbow was there, she had released her leg and almost at the same moment, brought her arm into Buffy's face. It was a blow Buffy wasn't expecting and it had hurt like hell. She had of course released her hold on Faith, instead using her hands to inspect the damage done to her face.

"That hurt Faith."

"No shit B... my elbow's wicked sore."

"Ya know you're gonna pay for that right?"

"Oh I hope so." She winked a typical wink at Buffy, she knew that the older girl was more then aware that fighting made her hot... and the promise of a hard fight... it got her almost as hot as the promise of a hard fuck.

The fight now moved to a period of lightening fast punches and kicks, all exchanged from an almost stationary position... this was the rhythm the two girls had found on their return to sparring together, and it was easy to settle in the same place again.

It was a truly awesome sight for the potentials to behold. They had seen the slayers train, they had seen them fight vamps, they had seen them save lives... but none of them had ever seen the power of the slayer released like this. They had forgotten to cheer for their favoured of the two girls... they were almost dumbstruck by what they were seeing... most of them were only now just beginning to comprehend what being the slayer was. It was certainly breathtaking.

Giles was also entranced by the performance being put on by the women in front of him, he had a deep sense of pride, as for all intents and purposes, these were his slayers. Buffy had always been his charge, coming back to him even after death. But Faith... she had come back from somewhere almost as hard to return from, and he was immensely proud of the woman she had become. He had taken the journey with her, through her long days of confinement... and seeing her now, in all her glory, he was eternally grateful that he had replied to that first pitiful letter she had sent to him, with her plaintive desire to make amends.

The scoobies were the least over awed by the contest. They had known the girls more then anyone... had the most knowledge of the connection that lay between the presently warring factions... and to them... seeing the girls move with such synchronised awareness... it was nothing more then the most natural thing in the world. Sure it was neat to watch... but it was far from unexpected.

The battle, unfortunately, couldn't remain at the present level it occupied. Sure these girls were slayers, but that did not mean they were not human, and along with being human comes the ability to tire. And both girls were tiring.

"You're starting to drop your right B... that an invitation... or you just teasing?"

"Why don't you find out F...? Care to come a little closer?"

"Promise not to bite?"

"Not too hard..." The heat of the battle was starting to raise the heat of desire, already flowing through Buffy's veins... more and more she was concentrating on the deeper meaning behind the banter... rather then the direction of incoming attacks.

"Ok B... now I know you're just teasing..."

"Ya not gonna know till ya try..."

That was just too much invitation for the dark haired slayer, she waited for the drop of the right again, and launched a quick fired attack at Buffy's unprotected side. It landed perfectly and she followed up with a quick pin.

She pushed her body hard into Buffy, trying to keep her down for the required five count, but the older girl was no way giving up that easily. She knew there was the ultimate possibility that she could lose this fight, Faith was after all her complete equal in battle, but there was no way that she would go down without giving every last ounce she had to give. And that certainly wasn't yet.

The trading of blows became less and less, as each girl fought for the breath to keep them standing. They were circling each other again... looking for that elusive opening, that one chance to land a telling blow, to steal the last bit of energy from their opponents body. It was not forthcoming though. Each girl carried an equal abundance of grit and determination.

The spectators were no longer watching with awe at the beauty of the contest. Now it was amazement at how long the warriors had fought. It seemed that no one should still be standing after such a lengthy and hard battle... but both of these girls were still stood tall.

They were coming in closer to each other now. Having seemingly realised that there was no knockout blow to be had. Now it became a question of trying to execute throws. Grasping for purchase on the others smooth skin. Finding places for hands to gain some form of leverage. Anything to take the other girl down.

Buffy was the one that found the hold she was looking for. Her hands gliding across sweat soaked skin till they came to rest in the desired position. She summoned up all of her strength to hoist the girl over her shoulder and hopefully out of the ring.

At the moment of release, Faith slipped her leg around the other girls, preventing the throw, but not the tumble. Together they fell to the ground, and together they fell out of bounds. Both of them scrambling to be the first to return, as if that could influence the result.

No one quite knew what to do... was it a draw?

Giles in his officialdom made his way to the ring, although not quite knowing what to do when he got there.

"Um well... it seems we have a rather unforeseen event here... we didn't have rules for this... so I am going to have to ask the slayers..."

He looked down at both of the panting girls, each of them seemingly oblivious to the events around them.

"...do you want to carry on, or shall we settle this now with a draw and shared championship?"

Buffy was beat... but she wasn't dead. And there wasn't any other way she was leaving this fight... no way. She wanted to win. And she was going to win.

Faith was getting excited. There was no way this was ending now... and certainly not in no draw. She had a plan... and it was almost time to put the plan into operation. She had to wait until buffy was tiring... this was a plan for a finishing move afterall... not some fancy, middle of the fight nonsense. Nope. This was a move that was gonna end the battle.

Last one standing.

Both the girls looked at each other. They acknowledged the lack of submission. They regained there battle stances.

"Count us in G... this ain't even nearly over."

"My sentiments exactly... Giles?"

"Uh... ok right... resume then please." He was astounded that they had decided to continue... he didn't honestly know how much each girl had left to give.

The slayers stalked each other with none of their earlier poise or grace... this was almost survival now... not caring about putting on a show... just caring about the final five count.

"You tired yet B?"

"You my doctor Faith?"

"Just wondering if you fancied a lay down... some on the floor action?"

"Is that an offer...?"

"More like a promise B"

They wrestled to the ground in an ever changing show of superiority... neither girl having the chance to obtain the time needed for a pin. Becoming more and more frustrated as the rolling continued.

They sprang apart again to continue their banter... and regain their breath.

"Ya know B... all this wrestling... you're making me kinda horny..."

"Everything makes you horny Faith..."

Faith openly surveyed the body of the older slayer, allowing her eyes to rest on her heaving breasts... studying the way they rose and fell beneath the cropped white vest... letting her gaze drop to the junction between her thighs, raising her eyebrow as she silently wondered at what lay beneath the shorts. Finally dragging her focus back to the eyes of the girl before her...

"Nothing makes me horny like you do B."

She saw the shock register on Buffy's face. Before the shock she caught the rapid dilation of the girls pupils. That was the sign she was looking for. The go ahead for the plan.

Buffy's head was spinning. Had she even heard what she thought she had heard... or had she heard what she wanted to hear. She had caught the looks though, had felt the red hot trail that burned her skin as faith's eyes had devoured her. What the hell was going on?

She had been confident that she could win this final portion of the battle. Had felt Faith weakening beneath her. But now...? Now she was losing resolve. If faith so much as touched her whilst looking at her that way... well, she would beg her to lay her on the ground and pin her.

No one was unaware of the shift in atmosphere. The electricity in the air was enough to make hair stand on end... goose bumps rise. Everyone's focus was held prisoner by what was happening in front of them... they couldn't have turned their gaze away if they had wanted to.

Faith sized up Buffy for what would be the final time. Allowing again the appreciative wander of eyes over flesh.

"I've really enjoyed this B... but ya know what...?"

"What's that Faith?"

"...I'm gonna enjoy this part so much more."

Confusion was the look registered on Buffy's face as the younger girl launched her final attack.

"Huh?"

The next thing she knew, she was flat out on the floor with Faith sliding up her body. Each point of contact changing as she continued her assent. She barely registered as Faith employed the pin.

Didn't hear as willow began the count...

"One!"

Faith's groin finally reached it's desired destination... pressing hard in to it's counterpart, pinning Buffy to the floor with the sweetest of sensations...

"Two!"

She could feel the breath hot in her ear as Faith brought her head down to whisper long awaited words...

"Three!"

"I want you B..."

"Four!"

And then lips were on her lips. A tongue was pushing for entry into her mouth. And she gave entry. She couldn't have done anything else.

Where their bodies had ceased to battle, their tongues now began. Sliding against each other... looking for superiority.

"Five!"

Neither girl heard the count. Time and it's rules had become unimportant. Here and now was everything.

"Uh... Six!"

Willow was flummoxed... should she keep counting... cos watching... that was a suitable option...

"Holy mother of Zeus!" Xander couldn't contain himself anymore... this was... this was... WOW!

Xander's words broke the girls from their kiss.

Faith awkwardly climbed off Buffy, offering a hand out to the other girl... but not quite meeting her eyes.

She wanted to feel guilty for her use of dirty tactics... but god what a kiss. She had lost herself for a second... and Faith had never lost herself... she was always in control... but... but god what a kiss!

"Faith...?"

She looked down at Buffy and fought the temptation to dive straight back on...

"What's up B?"

"Uh... what... uh... why...?" She couldn't form the words that she needed to say... she wasn't even sure that there was words. She was still in a fuzzy place courtesy of faith's lips... and the brain... well that was no where to be found.

Giles looked at Willow and shrugged his shoulders.

"Should I... do you think it would be appropriate to announce the winner?" He was slightly flustered by the display of lust that he had witnessed... and as for Faith's tactics... slightly dubious. He was also just a little bit impressed at her ingenuity. Pure genius. He would never admit that though. Well not to Buffy.

Willow just shrugged back.

"I guess...?" She was feeling the need to jump her girlfriend some time real soon. Oh yes.

The two girls looked up as Giles entered the ring again...

"Well then I must say a truly well fought contest..."

All eyes were now on him... awaiting the announcement...

"... the potentials all performed above themselves and should be proud of both themselves and of each other..."

A round of applause went up from all the spectators.

"... but to the final Battle and the winner of the inaugural `Champion of Champions' tournament..."

All eyes now turned to Faith... this was what she had wanted... what she had played for... and now it was hers... she had finally beaten Buffy Summers.

"... ladies and uh Xander... I give you... Faith!"

The cheers went up straight away... if a potential couldn't win, then Faith was the next best thing. And the way in which she won... that had gained her some higher level of respect, if that was even possible.

The only potential not outright cheering was Kennedy.

Faith took her place next to Giles and accepted the rather dubious looking trophy made out of something resembling tin foil. What the trophy was supposed to resemble she wasn't sure. It looked like an erect penis. She was betting Xander made the trophy.

She tried to walk away uninterrupted but the cries for `speech' went up straight away. Damn she hated speeches... that was B's thing.

"Uh... guys... what can I say?... That was wicked fun..."

A few snickers were raised at that.

"... really... I enjoyed every moment... hope you all enjoyed the show!"

That was all they were getting. She had her trophy... she was done.

The sun was starting to set over the streamers and two balloons that adorned the Summer's family backyard. The last of it's rays illuminating the banner which still floated in the soft breeze. This was not a time for leisurely celebration. This was a time when Vamps came out to play.

Buffy approached her sister slayer as the last of the potentials tore themselves away from giving their congratulations. It seemed as though Faith's fan club was growing more amouruous with every passing day.

"Hey."

"Hey B."

"So you won then."

"That I did B."

"And was it all about the winning?" She had to know.

Faith held up her rather strange looking shiny thing...

"You think it was worth it B?"

She didn't know how to take that answer. What kind of person answers questions with questions?

"Are we gonna talk about this?"

"About my shiny foily thing?..." She didn't know if she was stalling for time... or just being her.

"... cos I'm thinking it's just a poor excuse for a dildo... why?... you wanna borrow it?"

Buffy could feel her frustration rising...

"For god's sake Faith... will you talk to me straight... just once... tell me what's going on?"

Faith turned from Buffy and replaced the `trophy' on the table... she picked up a stake, threw it in the air and caught it with a twirl.

She pointed up to the now dusky sky.

"Right now B... I'm going slaying..."

And with that she turned and left the garden.

Buffy couldn't form a response or a question... or anything. She stood alone in the garden, watching as each different star came out to play. She shivered as an unwelcome breeze ran it's hands down her body. Seemingly reaching to dip beneath her skin.

She stood alone and watched Faith's figure as it shrank further and further away. She waited for the turn that never came. The acknowledgement that she was craving.

As the breeze blew again, she cradled her own body and turned to go inside.There was definitely an unwelcome chill in the air.

Faith's Pov

Happy or sad... Crazy or mad... What the fuck am I playing at...?

It's surprising how quick the euphoria of a battle can wear off, especially when you're tired, hungry, standing alone in a graveyard... and effectively considering that maybe, just maybe you might be borderline psychotic.

I beat Buffy Summers. Something I've wanted to do for as long as I remember knowing her. It always seemed so important... the highlight of my days... But now in the empty moonlight... Now it doesn't seem so important anymore.

I kissed Buffy Summers. Something I've needed to do since the moment I met her. It always seemed so important... now it's the highlight of my life... And standing here alone in the moonlight... Maybe that's what's important?

I'm so confused.

Did I stage the kiss to win the battle...

Or did I stage the battle to win the kiss?

And what is a kiss anyway... I mean really... in the grand scheme of things... Just two pair of lips, meeting hard, meeting soft. Not exactly life changing stuff is it?

So why does it feel like my life is changing...?

Why does it feel like I'm slowly going crazy...?

I must be going crazy to even be sat here considering this.

Because I know the question I'm avoiding. The question I've been denying a voice since I left B standing, watching me walk away. A question I've avoided for a good many years.

It's not a question of `what is a kiss?'. That would be easy in comparison.

This is a question of `what is love?'. And I don't think I know the answer to that one.

I know I love Buffy. I have always loved Buffy. Sometimes I think that's why I was made... to love Buffy Summers.

But past that I'm lost... cos loving that girl... its only ever brought me pain. It brought pain to a whole heap of other people as well... and I don't think I ever want to do that again. And don't tell me I'm scared... it's not a question of scared. This is a question of crazy.

They say love makes you do the wacky, and I'm living proof of that, I just can't take the roller coaster that love throws you on. I like wild rides... really I do... but rides that end with a knife in your gut... that kinda ride hurts. So I live life... I make my choices... and my choice is not to love.

I still feel it though... I feel it with everything I am... everything I could be.

I look at Buffy and I feel it.

But I made my choice...

A choice that's stood me well.

I'm here and I'm happy. I have friends and lovers... food and drink... I've a bitchin' job... and I'm close to B. Perhaps the closest friendship I've ever had. And I'm really happy with that.

So if I'm so happy with that... what the fuck was I playing at with that kiss...?

I can kid myself that it was for the win... all in the line of duty... But just for those few moments... Those few precious moments... Winning meant nothing to me.

Kissing Buffy `was' winning.

And now I feel like I'm losing it.

I don't even know if I could commit... I don't know how to. And do I want to...?

I find pleasure in many places... endless, meaningless pleasure. And yes I like it. I like that I'm free...

Would Buffy seek to take my freedom...?

She wouldn't have to. I would give it... because if I made the choice to love her... that would take my everything.

So the question really is... am I ready to make that choice?

And I don't know. And that is why I am sat, hungry, tired, bored and alone. Maybe flirting with borderline psychotic.

Welcome to my world Buffy... are you sure you want to enter it?

Quiet trepidation was the girls silent companion as she made her way home in the moonlight. She shivered slightly, for she hadn't thought to bring a jersey with her tonight, and the cool air was reminding her that even California didn't always offer the warmth that was needed.

She was lost in an endless circle of confusion as her mind sought to make sense of many conflicting wants, needs and desires... one minute settling on one option... then just as quickly considering the opposite.

A large part of her didn't want to return home to the place where her confusion resided... she had stayed out many hours... avoiding a confrontation that she was sure awaited her... a confrontation she didn't know how to resolve.

Unfortunately for Faith a different kind of confrontation was awaiting her at that very minute.

She reacted with shock when she heard the words of her former mentor Richard Wilkins the Third...

"Why good evening there Faith... what's a girl like you doing in a place like this in the middle of the night... it's not safe you know."

Her first reaction was mind numbing terror... it crept up her back and whispered in her ear... all the things that this man was... all the things that she had done in the name of this man. But Faith wasn't afraid of ghosts, and she knew, beyond a doubt... that this man was dead.

"Dicky boy... gotta say... surprised to see ya... you got me there... also the threads..." she surveyed his suit with an appraising eye...

"looking fine... funny thing is though... last I heard you were favouring snakeskin."

"Ah Faith... it's good to see that the years in confinement haven't dampened your zest for life... such a shame it's gonna be wasted."

"What ya gonna do Dick...? Jump out from a tree and shout `Boo'?"

"It's a shame your intelligence hasn't improved any... I always was disappointed with your lack of mental ability... it was really quite grating..."

Faith didn't know if she should be insulted... this was just a ghost... and an annoying one at that.

"Yeah well I never got enough hugs as a kid... marked me out for underachievement... what can I say..." she smirked at him as she finished her sentence... did this `thing' really think it was gonna spook her with low grade insults?...

"This line of work... doesn't really call for a high IQ."

"Enough of the pleasantries now Faith... aren't you even a bit curious as to why I am here?"

"Not really... I see a guy out alone on a Saturday night... all I'm thinking...? Loser!"

This was turning out to be quite fun... definitely taking her mind off of her earlier stresses.

"A time is coming Faith... the final battle is beginning... your time to join my side... fight for what you used to believe in."

"You have got to be shitting me right Dicky?" She shook her head... this was too funny... no way this phantom thing thought she was gonna sign up for the dark side again... had they all missed the bulletin on redemption?

"You would do best to believe me child... you have no idea what I am... what I will become..."

With that Faith watched in astonishment as the figure shifted before her... it couldn't be...

"B?"

"Hey Faith..."

She couldn't fathom what was going on, it looked just like Buffy... every single part the same... even the eyes... it `was' Buffy.

"What the fuck are you?" She was definitely spooked now... this was too much.

"I am evil Faith... the purest evil ever known..."

"Yeah I'm getting that already... but really, what the fuck `are' you?"

"I'm what you want aren't I Faith... what you love... who you love...?"

This was too freaking weird... a ghost Buffy was standing in a graveyard conversing with her on love... and evil.

"... What you'll never have..."

"Huh?"

"... no matter how much you tell yourself you can have it... however much you think she wants you... this is the closest you'll ever get to having her..." Phantom Buffy ran her hands over her curves...

"the closest you'll get is me."

Faith was losing it, but there was no way she was gonna show that in front of some over dressed ghosty.

"Well do ya put out...? Cos that other Buffy... she's crazy with the frigid."

Everything it/she was saying was touching Faith at her core. She knew this wasn't real... but to deny that the words didn't hurt her...

"You doubt what I say is true...? You really think that she could ever love you... that you could ever give her what she needs...? Your kind of love would destroy her Faith..."

"Look Casper... or whatever you are, I'm gonna put this real simple for ya yeah...?"

She was pissed now... she wished she could put a steak through the whatever it was' heart and turn it to dust... but that wasn't an option... not unless ghosts got upgrades to solid form nowadays... she would have to check with Giles...

"I don't know what the fuck you are... not really caring... but your shit is starting to really piss me off... you're talking crap, and I'm done listening... so really, go find someone else to pester."

With that she turned to walk away. The phantom truths wearing heavy on her heart.

She had been tossing and turning the idea of loving Buffy around and around in her head. Maybe this was an omen... a heads up that some things are just not destined to `be'.

Just another possibility to consider in her already over loaded mind.

"One more thing Faith..."

She stopped at the sound of the voice, but didn't turn.

"... you might want to hurry home... I hear your girlfriend is in trouble."

She turned now, so fast as to make a normal person dizzy.

"Buffy?"

The `ghost' just smirked at her in a carbon copy of the girl just mentioned.

"Not that one silly..."

Confusion showed across Faith's face... not that one...? What did that mean...?

Realisation dawned on the face of the slayer.

"Kennedy."

`Buffy' laughed out loud.

"...Run Faith... run."

`The First' continued laughing to itself as it watched the fast retreating form of the dark slayer.

This was going to be fun.

It's time had come.

The time to raise an army.

Pov None.

When faith arrived home the house was in disarray, windows were broken, furniture smashed... the front door was hanging off its hinges. She paused for a moment before she entered, afraid of what she might find inside.

If something had happened to the girls whilst she was not there... she wouldn't forgive herself. She hadn't needed to stay out patrolling so long, heck, there were hardly any vamps out at all... but she had been avoiding. She felt like a coward.

She followed the sound of voices to the kitchen... feeling a flood of relief as she noticed Buffy... safe and well... surrounded by her Scooby friends.

Willow was the first to notice Faith's arrival, and she stunned the younger slayer by jumping up and enveloping her in a hug.

"Oh my god Faith... we were so worried..." she pulled back and looked her up and down.

"you're ok... when you didn't come back... and the fighting... we thought... and you didn't come back..."

"Hey Red... enough with the groping already..." she wasn't used to such overt displays of affection, and extricated herself from the other girls arms.

"I'm fine... honest... not even a scrape." She motioned to her unharmed self and then took in the dishevelled appearance of those around her.

"Which is more then I can say for you guys... so what happened?... over zealous frat party?"

Xander got a faraway look in his eyes,

"I wish!... this was more your standard pain and torture party... bring your own knives kinda deal."

"Damn!... and I missed that?" Faith loved this ability to joke in a crisis, she was sure it had saved the scoobs from going mad on numerous occasions.

"I'm thinking that kind of party... my name's gotta be the first down on the list."

Giles cleared his throat to interrupt the banter.

"As refreshing as your inane chatter is, I would like to remind everyone that we have a situation on our hands here. A very serious situation."

They managed to look suitably remorseful, and Giles was able to continue.

"I think it's important that we try to find out exactly what the bringers are after and why they are seeking to destroy the potentials..."

Faith flashed back in her mind to the `ghost's' words about Kennedy...

"Potentials...? What happened with the potentials... and what the fucks a bringer?"

"I... uh... some of the potentials were ambushed on the way to the store, it seems it was a co-ordinated effort, coinciding with an attack on the house."

"And...?"

"And some of the girls were hurt, although thankfully no mortal injuries."

"Could you sound less involved G?... These are my friends we're talking about... who's hurt... how are they hurt... for fucks sake!"

She didn't mean to lose it at Giles, she knew she was being irrational... but she couldn't shake the feeling that she should have been here when everything went down... that it was her fault for staying away.

"Faith. Calm down." Buffy spoke for the first time since Faith had gotten back.

"Everyone's gonna be fine... the Chinese girl, she took a crack to the head... nothing too bad..."

"The Chinese girl?... tell me you're joking B?... you don't even know their names?" She couldn't believe it. Buffy the fearless leader... that couldn't even take the time to learn names... nice.

"That's Chao- Ahn... just for future reference. What about Ken?"

She noticed the looks being passed around the room.

"Kennedy's fine Faith. Me and Tara did a little healing spell on her wound and she'll be fine. She just needs resting, then she'll be good as new... raring to go..." Buffy glared over at Willow.

"I mean raring to go for... uh... fighting... yep! Ready for some mean action..."

Faith blocked out the babble from the witch... and the glares from Buffy...

"Wound...?"

"She took a knife in the back."

"Fuck!... where is she?"

"She's in Dawnie's room... really she's fine Faith."

"Where are the others?"

Giles spoke up to allay her fears.

"They are at mine for tonight. Willow and Tara have done a protection spell and they'll be safe there. Tomorrow Xander will fix up this place and they can come home." He looked at Willow,

"I take it you and Tara are performing a spell for here aswell?"

"Already on it."

"Good."

"So what the fuck did this?"

Giles went on to explain to Faith the in and outs of the bringers. How it seemed they were responsible for the attacks on potentials around the world. That they were minions for The First.

"So what's The First?"

"Not much is known unfortunately, other then it's rumoured to be the source of all evil, that which came before everything... evil in it's purest form."

Again Faith was reminded of her encounter with the `ghost'.

"I am evil Faith... the purest evil ever known..."

"Does this guy do impressions?"

Giles looked at her confused.

"Impressions?"

"Ya know... of other people? Cos tonight I had this really wacky encounter with a crazy ghost dude... now I'm thinking, could be this First guy."

"Christmas... with Angel... and the snow, The First appeared as different people he had killed... tried to torment him."

Faith cast her mind back to the Christmas... with Angel... and the snow. It seemed years ago. Was she happy then?

"Faith...? Buffy was looking at her expectantly.

"Huh?"

"I said... `who did it appear as?'"

"Oh right... uh the Mayor... that was wicked freaky, and uh..." she looked up at the blonde girl...

"kind of you, B."

"Me?" Buffy was shocked. She didn't want some first evil running around with her looks on.

"How can it be me?"

"I would suggest Buffy that it would be on account of you having... erm... died."

"Thanks Giles, I had forgot." She threw him a look to show she was teasing.

"So what did it, or me, say?"

Faith really, really didn't want to have this conversation.

"Say?"

"Am I speaking Spanish?"

"Que?"

"Funny."

"I'm all about the chuckles."

"Ain't cha just. So what did it say?"

"Nothing important... end of the world stuff... hi jinx... the normal."

"Faith, it really would be helpful if you could elaborate for us."

"Sorry G... not much to tell." There was no way this was gonna happen.

"Big evil coming... blah, blah... final battle... a lot more blahs... and that was it."

Buffy felt like Faith was holding back, not telling everything...

"You wanna fill in those blahs for us?"

"Not really... you wanna back off?" she was getting irritated, Buffy could never just `leave' something... she always had to push.

"No gonna happen Faith..."

"Right, well I think that's enough for this evening..." Giles interrupted the brewing tension in the room, it wouldn't do to have the slayers fighting now.

"... let's say we reconvene in the morning, about eight thirty?"

"Great idea G-man." Xander slapped Giles across the back as he rose to leave.

"How many times have I asked you not to call me that Xander?"

The boy just shook his head. How did Faith get away with it? What did she have that he didn't?

He looked across at the dark beauty of the slayer and understood. She had lots.

Faith winked across at Xander.

"Catch ya in the morning G."

"Yes Faith. Goodnight." Giles smiled across at his youngest charge.

Everyone said their goodbyes, leaving just the three girls in the front room.

"Right guys... I'm gonna head up to bed... see you in the morning." Willow sensed that maybe the slayers needed some alone time to talk things out.

Buffy had been quite upset this evening after Faith had just left like that. She didn't know what was going on... but she didn't want to stand in the way of the problem being sorted.

"Night, Red."

"Sleep tight, Wills."

The slayers watched as Willow climbed the stairs, slowly coming back round to face each other, both girls eyes searching the others.

"So..."

"Yep."

They stood in awkward silence. Faith felt the urge to flee. Her head was still spinning from everything that had occurred, and the words of The First were still ringing fresh in her ears. Also there was Kennedy. She felt responsible for the girl, and she had to go and see for herself that she was ok.

"Are we gonna talk about this Faith?"

"Not now, ok B?"

Buffy was starting to feel like she was going a little crazy herself. Faith had kissed her, and now she couldn't get a word out of the girl.

"Then when, Faith?"

"Later alright?... I just wanna turn in now."

"You tired?" Buffy could understand that... she was still tired from the fight, and Faith had been out slaying half the night as well. No talking due to sleeping... she could forgive that.

"Beat."

"You want me to sort out some stuff for the sofa?"

Faith looked around at the tattered room, minus windows and most of the door.

"Uh... no, it`s cool. I'm gonna go check on Kennedy... I'll bunk on the floor in there... make sure she's ok."

Buffy felt that like a slap in the face. Faith was going to sleep in Kennedy's room... after the kiss? She couldn't help it... she felt insanely jealous.

"How very `noble' of you." She almost spat the words from her mouth...

"be sure to make sure she's extra cosy now won't you?"

The dark haired girl was in no mood to rise to Buffy's... what was it? ... `jealousy'?

In her mind, Kennedy was her friend. Yeah they fucked occasionally... but isn't that what friends are for? Her friend was hurt... and she would be there for her. It had nothing to do with Buffy. No matter what the smaller girl wanted to think.

"I'll do my best B... I'll do my best."

Buffy could think what ever she wanted. Faith was going to bed.

The older of the slayers watched her younger counterpart walk away from her for the second time that day.

"Faith?"

She was tempted not to turn around. She didn't need Buffy's shit. She had, had so much more then her quota of shit for the day.

There was `something' in Buffy's whispered voice though. Something that called to deep inside of her.

She slowly turned back around, preparing herself for another onslaught...

"What is it B...?" She could see the tears welling in the other girls eyes.

"I was worried about you. I just wanted you to know... tonight, when you didn't come back... I was so worried." Buffy wouldn't let her tears fall.

Today had been one big emotional mess for her.

Making up with Faith. The fight with Kennedy. The fight with Faith. The Kiss. The bringers...

It went on and on, and when Faith was gone so long... part of her had been going crazy with worry. She couldn't take it if something happened to the girl.

But she wouldn't cry now.

Faith had chosen to go to Kennedy, and she wouldn't stop her with the blackmail of tears. She had just wanted her to know... to know that she cared.

"It's ok B... takes a lot to take me out of the game." She was touched by Buffy's words. To know that she truly cared. But this conversation still wasn't happening tonight.

"I'll see ya in the morning ok?... we'll sort out a way to kill these fuckers."

Buffy could only nod her response. She was fighting to keep in the tears and she was losing.

She listened to Faith use the bathroom and go to the room Kennedy was occupying.

She went back to the kitchen and stared out the window into blackness. Her tears started to fall now.

Buffy was feeling a little bit lost... and a whole lot alone.

Pov None.

Faith slowly climbed the stairs and headed for the bathroom. She hadn't been lying when she said she was beat. This had been one long, hard and mildly fucked up day.

Splashing her face with cold water, she looked up and appraised herself in the mirror. The tiredness she felt was reflected back in her eyes and she couldn't wait to just get her head down for the night.

She opened the door slowly so as not to disturb Kennedy and made her way to the bed.

The potentials eyes were shut and she assumed the girl was sleeping. Ever so gently she ran her hand over her hair, soothing her as a mother would a child. She looked so innocent laying there, the soft glow of the lamp giving her face an extra level of beauty. She certainly was a looker, there could be no doubt of that.

The caress was enough to bring the younger girl out of her restless slumber, she hadn't managed deep sleep, she was still shaken by everything that had happened. She had thought she was going to die. She `did' nearly die. She just kept thinking that if it wasn't for the two witches... well, then she wouldn't be here.

"Faith...?"

"Hey you're awake... you doing ok there kid?" she was pleased to be able to talk to the potential... it alleviated some of her worry... and some of her guilt.

"Nothing like a knife in the back to get me feeling swell."

Kennedy didn't feel swell. She was scared. She was seeing things with much greater clarity now.

Before tonight, death had seemed something that was a long way off. Now she had to consider the possibility that it could occur a whole lot sooner then she hoped.

"Can I get ya anything?"

"No... I'm good... I just..."

And with that her defences broke down and she collapsed against her pillow with great heaving sobs.

Faith didn't know what to do... one minute she had been ok... and now... now, she was falling to pieces. She climbed onto the bed and took the girl into her arms. Whispering words of comfort, trying to stop the heart breaking sounds that were coming from the young potential.

She held her until she was all cried out and her breathing had become regular and even again.

"You wanna tell me what that was all about?"

"God, I'm sorry... I just, I never realised... that all this... that it's real... and it's coming... and we're not safe. None of us are safe."

"Look Ken, I'm sorry I wasn't here... I should've been here."

Kennedy shook her head, that wasn't true... no one could've stopped what happened from happening... no one had realised that the fight had moved at last to Sunnydale, and that they were no longer safe to roam around free.

"Wouldn't have helped any Faith... I know you like to think you're all `super hero', but even you couldn't have made a difference. We were ambushed... no one could have known."

"Maybe... maybe not."

"Do ya know what's dumb?"

Faith just looked at her... it would take a long time if she started telling Kennedy everything that she thought was dumb... probably best not to start.

"When it happened... I could feel myself losing it... and all I could think of... the one single thing... was the fact I haven't returned the videos to the store... and would you guys remember... and just how stupid is that?... laying there... d... dying on the sidewalk, and I'm worried about videos."

"I don't think that there's rules on dying Ken... with me... hell I was just hoping I'd last long enough to get out this town... couldn't stand the thought of dying in Sunnyhell... seemed more depressing then living here ya know."

"You hate it here that much?"

Faith felt a little odd opening up to the younger girl... she didn't even feel like opening up... but... there was just so much on her mind... maybe it would help to talk.

"I don't hate it Ken... not anymore. But then. Then I hated it so much... stuck here with my whole world going to shit... it wasn't a happy time..."

"And now?" She was more then curious about Faith's story... they all knew the outline, but Faith never spoke about it... especially about how she was feeling, she imagined there was a lot of hurt in the girls past, that she kept locked inside.

"Now the world's still going to shit... but I'm a lot more optimistic about it."

"You really think we're gonna beat this thing?"

"Not even a question... you think I spent three years locked in a cage to get wiped out this quickly?...believe me Ken... there ain't nothing gonna take me out the game till I'm ready..." She laughed to herself,

"...my prison shrink called it a `positive mental attitude'... ya think she'd still be so 'positive' if she saw the shit we have to deal with?"

"Doubtful."

"More then."

Kennedy shifted herself so she was almost back in the arms of the slayer.

"I didn't know if you would come and see me ya know?"

"How's that?"

"Well ya know... what with Buffy, and the fight, I didn't think I'd be so popular."

Faith gave a slight chuckle.

"Believe me Ken... we `are' gonna have a little chat about what went on down there... I don't get what it was about... but it was out of line. I think you're gonna have to apologise to Buffy though..." she smiled at that thought, she couldn't imagine Kennedy ever apologising for anything.. She just didn't look like the remorseful type.

"But she's a bitch."

"Ken..."

"She is... do you not see how up herself she is, walking round like the Queen of bloody England... it just really pisses me off."

"She's not up herself..."

"Whatever..."

"She just..." Faith tried to think of the words to explain Buffy, but really, there wasn't any... also she had to admit... sometimes Buffy did act a little superior... especially around the potentials...

"she just has a hard time...uh... bonding?"

"I don't want to `bond' with her... but a little respect, would be a nice change."

"Goes both ways, Ken. You cant pull a stunt like that today... B deserves your respect too ya know?"

"Hmmm."

"I mean it."

"Okay... ok. Anyway, what about your little stunt... oh miss `I'm gonna beat ya with kisses'?"

"It worked didn't it?"

"Certainly did."

Faith went to rise from the bed, it really was getting past late now, and keeping her eyes open was becoming a problem.

Kennedy had other ideas though... she had been terrified tonight, and now she was craving contact, reaffirmation that she was alive... that she was `here'. She pulled the dark slayer back down to her, and immediately sought the feeling of lips against lips. She wasn't disappointed. Faith's mouth was as willing as always, and she drank in the kisses, releasing little moans as they grew deeper and deeper.

Faith wasn't even thinking. She was losing herself in the pleasure. That was what she did.

She began trailing her lips down the neck of the other girl, straddling her, but gently, to keep the pressure off the wound on her back. Easing the shirt from her shoulders, tasting hot flesh.

Her hands began descending the potentials body, tracing patterns as she freed more skin from the confines of clothing, easing slowly towards her goal.

And then she stopped.

And she didn't know why.

It just suddenly became very important that she stop.

Maybe it was everything from the day racing to catch up with her.

Maybe it was plain old tiredness.

The true thought that she didn't want to consider was that `maybe it was Buffy.'

"Faith...?"

"Sorry Ken... I'm just beat... and we shouldn't, you need to be resting, not going ten rounds with the slayer."

"I'll take one round?"

She was tempted... meaningless pleasure was a good tonic on shit days...

"Not tonight...ok? Seriously you... rest! I'm gonna crash on your floor, so easy with the stepping out of bed in the morning."

"You not gonna sleep up here?"

Faith didn't share beds. Not ever.

"Nope."

"There's room."

"I just don't trust those wandering hands of yours."

"Kiss goodnight?"

Faith had to smile at the girl, she was a real good kid, hot as hell, which helped, but other then that... she just really liked her.

She leant forward and gave the girl a long, deep, `get well soon' kiss. Sure she couldn't go through with the whole fucking thing... but kisses were always nice.

`Especially Buffy kisses.'

As that thought span quickly through her consciousness, she pulled away from the girl beneath her.

"Uh... night Ken... sleep well ok?"

"The beds still here if ya want it?"

"I'm right... I like the floor... it's closer to the earth and nature and all that."

"Faith we're on the second floor."

"Still closer."

"Night then."

As Kennedy lay, awaiting sleep, she thought about Faith. She didn't like being rejected... and she knew she had been rejected just then.

Sure she didn't `love' Faith... but she sure as hell liked fucking her.

She wondered at what it could be that had distracted her normally single minded lover, Faith was generally insatiable... it had to be something important to put a stop to her constant horniness.

She fell asleep thinking about Buffy Summers.

She didn't have sweet dreams.

Faith fell asleep almost immediately. It was a good job too, cos her horniness was raging.

Yeah she had stopped Kennedy, but that wasn't a case of not horny. It was a case of wrong girl.

She hadn't allowed herself to think like that in her waking hours... But as her mind drifted to sleep... it was the only thought that occupied her.

She fell asleep thinking about Buffy Summers.

And her dreams were the sweetest.

Sleep came hardest to the blonde slayer.

She had heard the soft moans coming from Kennedy's room.

She couldn't help but imagine what was causing the moans.

She had been crazy to think that `the kiss' had meant anything, it obviously didn't mean anything to anyone but herself.

Buffy fell asleep thinking about heartache.

She didn't find refuge in her dreams.

In her dreams, she saw an army.

The army of The First.

Buffy's Pov

I remember times when waking up was a pleasure. Every day a new adventure... new things to discover, new experiences to be had. I remember when sunlight meant more to me then the absence of night. More then just a reminder that the world was still turning.

Lying here now, with the mornings first rays pulling me from slumber... now it's all I can do to not fall apart, longing for days lost, innocence past.

My dream freaked me. And that's putting it on a very mild scale. I don't know how I'm gonna explain it to Giles... I've spent each second since I awoke trying to forget it.

I saw what was coming. The full extent of what we were facing. And I'm terrified.

How can I ever even begin to hope that I can lead these girls against what I saw?

It's not bad enough that I have to live this life... I have to dream about it too.

I think it's fair to say... that my life...? My life officially sucks.

The only good point about having disturbing prophetic dreams about the evil army of The First, is that it keeps away evil disturbing thoughts about Faith.

I can still feel her lips against mine, and I want to hate her for it. That she would manipulate me... all for the sake of a stupid contest... it makes me sick.

The way she looked at me. The words she said to me. Her body against my body. Her lips against my lips.

I want to hate her for it.

But more then that...? More then that, I want it again. I want her pressed tight against me, I want her pressed tight inside of me. My body is aching for her... and it's all for nothing.

I should've kicked her ass for the way she kissed me. Taking what wasn't hers, stealing what was mine to give. But just for a moment, I thought she meant it.

But now I'm lost. How do I even look at her?

Because she knows... she knows how much I want her now. And I am humiliated.

When she went to Kennedy last night, I felt my heart breaking. When I heard the moans coming from the room... I didn't even feel my heart.

I want to be angry at her for being so callous, but then I remind myself... she isn't being anything... she's just being `Faith'.

So what do I do? What do I say? Where do I look?

Faith chooses to live without love... I can't believe I doubted her. Maybe she was the one that had it right all along.

Take pleasure wherever it is offered... and to hell with the feeling. It would be a step up from what I'm feeling now.

The big problem here though, is that I am not Faith. And I don't think I can be Faith.

I want love. Preferably I want it all wrapped up in a Faith sized bundle... but if that's not an option? So be it.

I still want love though.

Faith said that she would give up the highs, to escape the lows, but that's just not me. The lows are all about learning to appreciate the highs. I know that. Everything has to have balance. An opposite. An equalizer. Two halves of the same whole.

I had begun to think that Faith was my balance... that we would have a great fiery romance that would put even the greatest of lovers to shame. But how can you have romance with a girl that refuses to love?

So I will get over it.

I will listen to her fucking Kennedy at night and it won't matter. It wont tear at my soul and rip out my heart. I will watch her as she goes about her daily life, training, slaying, eating... I'll watch her and I won't want to touch her. I won't want to bring her lips down upon mine every time she slips a smile my way. I will feel her, the way I always have done... our connection as slayers keeping us bound together... and whilst I feel her, I won't think about the fact that this is the closest I'll ever come to having her inside of me... to being with her.

I am tempted to add that maybe pigs will fly... but I'm trying really hard to believe in this façade I've just created.

It's with a frustrated growl that I finally pull myself out of bed.

I want Faith. I need Faith... I love Faith.

I want to scream it, I want to scream it so loud and never stop.

But what would be the point in that?

It almost... and I emphasise the `almost'...it almost makes me wanna jump head first into that cavern of screaming `things' I saw in my dream.

Maybe it would hurt less?

I turn on the shower to wash away the unpleasantness of all the night has brought me. I let it wash away the self pity, and the hurt and the humiliation.

The mirror is steamed as I go to brush my teeth. I wipe it and I see myself. I see all that I am, all that I could be. And I make a vow then, a vow to myself.

That person looking back at me, that girl... she is strong. And she will not be beaten. Not by anything and anyone.

And I do start to feel strong again. For a moment I had lost touch, touch with who I am... floating through a sea of self imposed sadness.

But I remember now.

It's time the world got reacquainted with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Because I am back. And now I mean business.

Pov None.

The blonde haired slayer bounded down the stairs and headed for the kitchen, her new lease of life was adding a bounce to her step, and she was feeling fresh, rejuvenated and needing of food. As seemed to be the way of the world, Willow was already in the kitchen, fixing breakfast and coffee for all whom would want it.

"Morning Wills, got any pancakes on the go? My tummy is feeling decidedly hungry!"

The red head smiled at her friend, she was guessing that things had finally been sorted between the two slayers last night, hence Buffy's early morning smiley fest.

"Well someone's certainly perky today... any chance that some late night smooching occurred between my two favourite slayers?"

"Don't wanna go there Will."

"Oh come on Buff... share, that's what friends are for ya know." She was determined to get details, and to make Buffy squirm, too often it was her on the end of any squirming, and she felt it was time for change.

"Nothing to share."

"Nothing?"

"Well unless you count a whole lot of `not talking' and just a smidgen of `oh I'm gonna go sleep in Kennedy's room', then no."

The red head did not know what to say. She was certain that the slayers were gonna get it together... but with all the angst and lack of communication, it just seemed that maybe it wasn't meant to be.

"I'm sorry Buffy."

"Don't be Wills, I'm all grown up, I can handle it. And hey... I'm thinking, end of the world stuff, much more important right now."

"You sure you're ok? Cos if you're not, and you want to talk... well I'm here for ya, always ready to do the talking."

"It's okay. I'm fine. Beyond fine, the finest of the fine. Any finer and I'd be heading for the top of the world."

And the truth was, she did feel fine. Sure she was a little sore in the heart area, but she could handle that. Had she not handled it many times before?

And ok, maybe this time was just a little rawer, after all, to her mind Faith was `meant' to be with her, she felt it. But she was not gonna let that get her down anymore.

Faith didn't want her, maybe she wanted to get horizontal with her, but the way she saw it, Faith pretty much wanted to get in that position with most people. So no. She wouldn't cling to a dream that wasn't gonna come true. She was a slayer... and at the moment, she was sure that the world was gonna be needing a slayer.

Giles and Xander arrived just after eight, bringing with them the potentials that had been residing at Buffy's house, and some heavy duty power tools to patch up all the broken bits. Coffee was drunk, and the Scooby meeting was called to order.

"Uh Buffy... would it not be prudent to wait for Faith?"

"Why? She knows what time the meeting is set for, if she can't drag herself away from Kennedy, I don't see how it's any business of ours."

A look was passed between the scoobs and Giles, sure Willow knew what was going on, but the others were just a little bit out of the loop, and mightily confused at what seemed to be hostility towards the dark slayer.

"Ok, so I'm thinking, maybe Faith is in the bad books this morning... but Buff, don't we need her here?"

"I don't `need' her anywhere, if you're so keen, I suggest you call her Xander."

He looked at the others for some kind of sign as to what he should do, but luckily for him, he was saved by Faith choosing that moment to descend the stairs.

"Ah Faith... just the girl we were talking about, uh... you sleep well?"

"Fine thanks Xan." She looked at him slightly confused.

"Is there any reason you're asking after my sleeping habits... cos I can keep a sleep journal if you're interested?"

"I don't think that will be necessary Faith, maybe if you just try to keep an alarm clock handy for now, all will be well."

"Sorry G... ya know how it is, group pow-wows... normally I'd be the first one here..."

"Yes very well, you're here now, so shall we begin?"

Buffy took that as her cue to commence.

She filled in the group on her dreams of the night before. She explained the nature of the beasts that she saw, also the sheer number of them. She explained the cavern that they were in, and the feeling that it was close to the hell mouth. She explained how they all turned as one to look at her. She explained how she thought that `this' was a big one. Another end of the world, demons spewing forth, apocalypse.

She didn't explain to any of them the pure terror that had filled her senses in the dream. The overwhelming feeling of doom.

Nope, she kept her happy thoughts all to herself. She was the slayer, and those happy thoughts were just for her.

"Ok Buff... now when you say `thousands', do you mean that in the literal sense, or are ya just trying to get extra `freaky dream' points?"

"Believe me Xander... when I said `thousands' I was being conservative."

"Well how many was there then Buffy? Cos ya know... it's important to be aware of what we're gonna be facing... and thousands... well that sounded scary... but if there's more, well I think you should tell us how many."

"I think I'm just gonna go with `lots', that ok Will?."

The red head just looked at her and gulped, she didn't want to have to think of a cavern full of scary monsters, it was bad enough when they had to deal with the odd one or two, but a cavern full... that was just not nice.

"Hey chill Red... anything that's coming, well ya know me and B can more then cope... ain't that right B?"

Faith was unaware of any hostility in the room. She just put the tension down to impending doom. She didn't know that Buffy had heard what she thought was moany groany dirtyness last night, and she certainly didn't know that Buffy had adopted a `I don't need faith' attitude to deal with it.

"It's ok Willow. `I' can certainly `cope' with anything that's coming. Have I ever let ya down before?"

"Nope. Never... so maybe we can just forget the apocalypse thing now right? Seeing as we always beat them anyway."

"Unfortunately Willow, it's not that easy... I would suggest that for now..."

And Giles went on to delegate jobs to each of the scoobies.

Xander was to fix up the damages from last night. The two witches were to finish up the protection spells for the house. And the slayers. They were to carry on with the training of the potentials.

Amongst all of that, there was also research.

They disbanded from their places around the kitchen, and went to pursue the tasks which they had been set.

"So B... you wanna tell me what that was about?"

"What?"

"The little `I' can save the world all on my own attitude you got going for ya..."

"Well I'm used to saving the world on my own Faith... it's what I do."

"And I thought that was the point in me being here... to help you?"

The blonde slayer looked at her counterpart and she could see everything that she wanted, but was not gonna have.

Yes it did hurt a little.

But that was not important. What was important was getting themselves ready for that which was coming.

"You are here to help Faith. That's exactly why you're here. To help with the apocalypse."

"Am I sensing some kind of coldness in the room B?"

"No idea what you're talking about Faith."

Faith was perplexed. She couldn't understand what had happened. She knew she still had to talk to Buffy about yesterday and `the kiss'.

But why was Buffy being so distant? What could have changed so much from last night?

She was sure that their parting words had been Buffy telling her she had been worried about her... so what had happened to change that?

"Look, I'm totally lost here B, ok?"

"Just leave it Faith. We have stuff to do, and I suggest we get to it."

"Just like that?"

"There's no `just like' anything. Apocalypse coming... things to do. Hi ho, hi ho... same old, same old."

"So we're not gonna talk about `this'?"

"I didn't think you did talking Faith." She looked at the dark slayer, and she knew she had to keep her distance. If this new resolve she had found, the one which said she could deal with her broken heart, was gonna hold up, then she had to stay strong. And listening to Faith talk about anything was weakening her, especially listening to Faith talk about `them'.

There was no `them'. She knew that now.

"For fucks sake B... is that what this is... my not wanting to talk last night?"

"I said leave it Faith."

"No! I'm not gonna `leave it`. All the time, we keep having this same shit, and I for one am sick of it... so we're sorting it...Now!"

Buffy just stared at the younger girl, there was so many words unsaid, but she was no longer in the place for talking.

"Well come on then... you wanted to talk, so talk!" Faith was getting pissed, this was beyond ridiculous... some times she just did not understand the older girl at all.

Still there was silence.

"B...?"

Buffy turned to leave the room, she had so much to do to get ready for what was coming.

"Buffy!... this is ridiculous... talk to me god damn it!"

She turned to look at the dark haired girl...

"That's just it Faith... I don't have anything to say."

"Huh?"

"There's nothing left to talk about."

And with that she did leave the room.

Buffy changed into her training clothes and went to round up the potentials. The ones that hadn't been hurt yesterday were going to be put through their paces by the blonde slayer.

There was an apocalypse coming, and these girls, it was their job to help save the world.

Faith didn't know what to do.

She didn't know what to think.`Nothing left to talk about'... now what the fuck did that mean?

Pov None.

If the residents of the Summer's house had thought that the previous night had been rough, they had a rather rude awakening coming. That was barely a taster for what was awaiting them this evening. It seemed that the apocalypse was not prepared to wait for research to be done, or girls to be trained... it was ready now, and tonight the slayers would get an introduction to the high priest of the apocalypse.

The scoobs were all hanging out in the dining room at the Summer's house, the day had been long and they were all feeling the strain of trying to plan against an unknown entity. The research hadn't gotten them anywhere so far... at one point Giles had thought he had made a discovery of a long lost weapon of the slayer... but the text was vague, and some still needed to be translated.

They were all sipping beverages of their choice, no one particularly conversing... just allowing their brains to take a few minutes off.

Willow was taking her down time studying the occupants of the room, the two slayers sitting at opposite ends of the table... she, as Buffy's best friend was privy to all the little bouts of angst that seemed to be attacking these two, but even as she kept watch on them now, she could still see the little surreptitious glances being aimed across the table... Xander studying one of Faith's comics, blissfully unaware of the doom surrounding them... Giles forever thoughtful, furrowed brow, glasses off, still working away at their latest problem... and Tara... beautiful, beautiful Tara.

A blast of energy shocked Willow from her reverie, her eyes sought those of her girlfriend who was looking back with the same expression of fear... Company!

"Hey guys... not to alarm, but we've got company!"

Buffy glanced up not comprehending.

"What ya talking bout Will?"

"The shield, it's going crazy... either we've got some big nasties on the way... or... uh..."

She looked back up at her fellow Wicca, and found confirmation in her eyes.

"...We've got big nasties on the way."

At that moment the slayers shared a look of similar understanding, they could sense it too, something big, something evil... something here.

"Faith, get the girls... or the girls that can fight. Wills, how long is the shield gonna last?"

The witches exchanged another look, the evil was strong, but so was their magic.

"As long as we say so Buffy, nothing less then human is getting in here... me and Tara?... we `know' magic."

The comical way that Willow delivered her line was the break in tension needed to get everyone moving. Faith rose and made immediately for the girls that could help in what was to come. She was determined that no one would get hurt on her watch, last nights fuck up was still in her head, and she would be damned before she let that happen again.

Buffy collected some weapons from her chest, the witches' shield meant that there was no mortal danger right now, but she wasn't gonna let anything surprise her tonight. She was also not prepared to let some messed up monsters, camp out on her front lawn all night... she was feeling strong, and if they wanted a fight, they were sure as hell gonna get one.

Giles did what he did best... he watched and he researched. It took him virtually no time to locate the species of beast which was stalking them. The Tourak Han. The oldest of vampires. The beasts from Buffy's dream.

Everyone reconvened in the front room, keeping watch on the snarling creatures, and discussing a course of action.

"So whaddya reckon B?"

"I reckon if they want some fun we should give them fun... the dusty kind of fun."

"Sounds like a plan."

The two slayers went to the front door and walked to the edge of the path, the barrier was doing its job perfectly, and the vampires could do nothing to get to them, making them hiss and roar in frustration.

Seeing this, a few of the potentials made there way outside as well... the presence of the slayers making their bravery increase. They were fascinated by what was in front of them... some of them had barely seen a real vamp, let alone something as repulsive as the uber vamps.

"Ready to find the fun?"

"They look pretty nasty Faith... and the numbers, also not the nicest."

"Come on B, we'll just have a peek, step outside the barrier, quick game of `thrust and plunge'... and then back across to safety."

The blonde girl stole another furtive glance at her sister slayer... `thrust and plunge?'... she didn't want to give image to those suggestions, but she couldn't help herself. All day she had been avoiding interaction beyond anything `slayer related', and now the very act of slaying was causing her mind to wander.

She reminded herself of her vow to be strong, she had to be strong... there was far more earth shattering events unfolding just now other then what was to ever become of her and Faith.

She would keep her admiration to `from afar', protecting her heart, and concentrating on what was before them. As a slayer she had a job to do, and she wasn't the longest surviving slayer through doing a bad job.

"So now who's the one with the plan Faith?"

"New thing I'm trying B."

She just smiled her response, not willing to get embroiled in the sexual banter that could flow so easily between them. It was hard to hold back, it had always seemed so natural to her in the past... even when they were warring, they had still maintained a certain level of double entendre's and quick fire jibes.

On the count of three, they burst through the barrier attacking the first `vamp' that they came across. Together they realised that these kinda vamps just weren't as much fun to play any version of `plunge and thrust' with. They're skin was as tough as anything, and the stakes just weren't making their way through.

"Change of plan Faith?"

"Back up, now?"

"Uh-huh!"

They threw themselves back through the mystical defences and rose to their feet, their inability to affect the beasts at all had dampened their enthusiasm for the battle, and they stood unsure of another course of action.

"So I guess this is a stand off?"

"Let's hope it stays that way... cos fighting with them? I'm thinking ouch."

"I'm agreeing."

They turned and went back inside, bringing the girls with them. Until they had a plan, there was no point in standing there, engaging in a staring contest with a bunch of really quite ugly vamps.

"Uh... guys?"

The shout from the potential caught everyone's attention, she had been watching out of the window all the time the Vamps had been there, and now she had something to say.

"I uh... there's someone coming."

At that moment the doorbell rang, causing a feeling of shock to permeate the room. What could have walked through the barrier, and avoided the resident beasties?

"Wills, Tara... input?"

"I don't know Buff, the spell is `nothing less then human', the barrier hasn't been broken... I don't know."

"Tara?" She wasn't questioning Willow's judgement, she just needed backup before letting some kind of anything, access to the house.

"Nothing's been broken, the spell is still working."

Looking round at Faith, she signalled to her to be ready for anything happening.

"I've got your back B."

The dark slayer took up position alongside her partner, nothing would hurt Buffy, without getting through her first.

As they opened the door, they were greeted by the sight of a man in preacher's garb, carrying a very badly wounded girl. Buffy reached for the injured form straight away, disregarding the man for a moment, lost in the protecting.

"Uh, uh , uh... don't snatch little girl, you can have her when I'm ready."

"What?"

"I've just finished cleansing her, it would be a shame to get your grubby hands all over her."

Buffy just looked back at him astonished. This so wasn't what she had expected upon opening the door to a man of the cloth.

"Cleansing her?"

"`You' may choose to call it `maiming and killing', but the way I've found to release the body of sin... it's a truly beautiful experience... one I'll be trying on you quite soon I'd say."

"Over my dead fucking body, anyone needs some sins cleaned around here... I'm thinking you might wanna start with me first , preacher boy!"

Seeing the girl, broken in the mans arms had thrown Faith for a moment, hearing the threats against Buffy had bought her right back into the game. She had said she had her back, and that was what she meant.

"Ah yes... you must be the `whore', all those hands that have pulled at your dirty flesh... I can see the filth surrounding you. It makes me sick."

"You know that talk's just gonna make me hot for ya, yeah?

With that, the `priest' threw the dying girl at the blonde slayer, simultaneously striking out at the dark one. She was sent flying through the air, stopping only when she made contact with the wall by the stairs, all sorts of blurry visions sent crashing through her head.

"Holy fuck he can hit!"

The witches caught his attention next, chanting away in the corner, trying desperately to expel this unknown force of evil from the house.

"You think you can touch me with your magic?... I have no need to fear you. I am the messenger of The First... the vessel of it's power... you can not even begin to understand the forces which I control..."

Giles stood to confront the visitor.

"What are you... how did you pass the shields."

"Your shields prevent less then human... and believe me when I say... I am 'more' then human." He laughed manically at that, amused by his own wit, delighting in the terror he was causing.

The potential who had been stood watch at the window, slowly crept behind the preacher, armed with a poker, she was determined to inflict pain on the white collared intruder.

"Rona, No!"

But Buffy's call was too late.

In the same instant, the `man' turned and executed the perfect punch, the force cracking every bone it came into contact with, splashing blood across the room as he opened up the girls face.

"You Bastard!"

"Now, now... less with the cursing. It really does hurt my ears to hear such profanities coming from girls, even those as dirty as you."

It took everything Buffy had not to jump straight into battle, she hadn't had a swing at the preacher boy yet, and was itching to get involved. Seeing the destruction that he could cause though, that was keeping her senses in check. She had seen Faith rise, and knew she had returned to watching her back, but even with both of them, she wasn't sure that they would do very well.

Giles stepped forward again to confront the `man' that was so openly taunting his slayers. He may not have `super-powers', but he would not stand by and allow anyone to talk to his girls like that.

"Do you have a greater purpose for being here...or is it simply lessons in etiquette you have come to impart."

"Ah... `the watcher'. You interest me. How you stand to be around this vermin all the time, living with them, breathing the same air... tell me? Do you like watching them?"

His leer conveyed his deeper meaning to Giles, and it was with great frustration that he was unable to do anything to retaliate.

"Tonight I came simply to offer you back what was yours..." He motioned to the bloody form of the battered young girl...

"and to show you what will become of all of you. When our armies spill forth... you will all wish that it was you lying in her place, screaming for forgiveness at the end of my knife."

Most eyes in the room showed fear.

Faith was still stuck in defiance... no `guy', no matter how hard he could hit, was going to keep her down for long. Yes she was a slayer... but more then that, she was a survivor, and she hadn't survived this long through taking shit.

"Unless `you' wanna start screaming at the end of my knife..." she motioned to the funky looking dagger she had picked up in her hand...

"I'm suggesting you get the fuck out of my face right about now..."

Buffy took up her rightful place, shoulder to shoulder with her fellow slayer.

"And I'm suggesting you listen... she gets really cranky when she doesn't get her own way."

"I can not wait until it is your time... breaking you will be my greatest pleasure, the two slayers, put out of their constant misery, released from the burden of protecting this foul excuse for human kind. Never a happier day shall there be."

He cast his eyes again around the room, drinking in the terror, tasting the absolute fear.

"Good evening, ladies."

And with that he was gone.

The girl unfortunately was dead before anyone could do anything for her. Even the spells of the Wicca's was not enough to pull her through. She had been gutted, almost completely. The only wonder was that she had still been alive when the `man' first arrived with her. Rona had been more fortunate, the broken bones in her face would heal, she would be ok.

The vamps had left with the priest, and now the front garden was empty, save for the two slayers.

"We've got a pretty fucked up situation here, huh B?"

"An army of super vampires and a priest with super human strength?... I'm tempted to say `all in the line of duty'... but yeah, you're right. Situation? Definitely fucked up!"

"Fancy leaving town?"

"Absolutely."

"I can probably jack us a car if ya wanna go for it."

"Nah... we'll just take Giles'"

"Think the others would mind B?"

She cast a look back towards the house, all the lights on, no one resting for fear of what they had seen tonight.

"I don't think they would even notice we were gone."

"I wish you were right, I'd be outta here right about now."

Buffy cast her eyes on the dark slayers form, after the stresses of the night, she didn't have the energy to play it hostile with her. It was indeed the connection and the burden that they shared which was keeping her going. The preacher had terrified her, the only time before that she had witnessed such power was with Glory, and she hated to think about how that had ended.

She expected that by tomorrow they would find something new to cause them heartache, or `her' heart ache at least, but for now she was just happy not to be alone.

"You wouldn't leave Faith."

"I wouldn't?"

"No way... you'd never skip out on a fight, no matter the odds."

"Damn, I'm stupid!"

"Not gonna comment."

Faith just looked at the blonde girl, she would gladly take these few minutes of respite from their normal tense relationship. She was just upset that it had taken something so extreme to allow them to even exist for five minutes without the aggro. She knew not to push it now, this certainly wasn't the time to bring up any of the issues which had been raised earlier in the day. It did, after all, kinda feel like the end of the world might be on its way.

It just felt kinda nice not to feel alone.

Pov None.

It had been two days since the introduction of `the priest'. They knew his name now. Caleb. But they were no closer to formulating a plan to beat him.

He had returned the last two nights with his army of 'vampires'. He didn't approach the house, he didn't need to. His sermons were long, and he would stand at the edge of the Summers house, foretelling their impending doom, trying to break their spirits, before he would inevitably break their bones.

It effectively meant that they were prisoners of the house come the evenings, no one could go out, no one could come in, and no slaying could be done. It was driving the chosen two crazy with cabin fever. Sure they could walk about freely during the day, but the day wasn't their time to `exist', they were warriors of the night, and they needed the `hunt' to feel alive.

They needed a plan, for it was coming to a time when something had to give, they couldn't go on with the feeling that their power had been neutered, they were slayers... they wanted to slay.

As had become the course for events since the arrival of their own personal `prophet of doom', the scoobs were sat around the dining table, trying almost desperately to formulate a plan to have some kind of effect against Caleb.

The potentials were no longer separate from the group, impending death forging bonds between them, that otherwise would've taken longer to establish. They knew though that they were all in this fight together, and come the time to rumble they would all have each others back.

"So Giles, tell me again about this `weapon' you think you might have maybe, possibly discovered a reference to?"

The tired man looked up from his dusty volumes of text, he had barely slept in the last two days, choosing to spend the nights imprisoned in the house with the others. He could've chosen to stay at his, even taking some of the others with him, but at the moment all they could focus on was keeping the group together.

"It seems Buffy that this apocalypse was foretold since the beginning of time itself, I've found many references to the 'man of god', striking the blows for evil..."

"And the weapon?"

"I was just getting to that." He tried not to let his irritation at the interruption show, he knew just how under pressure the slayers were.

"The weapon is mentioned in some of the most ancient texts... something forged for the slayer, of the slayer, to prevent the rising of The First, a source of great power..."

"So where is it?"

He looked up at Buffy blankly.

"That's just it... in none of the texts does it state where the weapon is to be found... not even a solid reference to what it is... just that it has `power'"

"Well that's just fucking perfect!" Faith was so sick of this shit, she wanted to fight, she was itching to fight, and if something didn't give soon... she was just gonna go fight anyway.

"Can't you witches do one of your hokey little `find it' spells... search for the essence or something?"

"Faith I understand your frustration, really I do..."

"You wanna bet...?" She considered her `frustrations' as Giles so neatly put it. Her need to fight. To slay. Also, and extremely importantly, her need to fuck. Since her little pull back with Kennedy the other night, she hadn't so much as tried to find release of that kind. It wasn't that she didn't want it... she was Faith, she always wanted it... but for the first time in her life, the idea of empty sex was becoming less and less appealing. If things weren't so funky at the moment she probably would've taken some more time to analyse the feeling, but as it was she was too busy `living' the frustration, to waste her energy pondering on it.

"... cos let me assure ya G... whatever you think you're understanding... ya not even getting close!"

"Yes well, that may be, but..."

"Wait!"

All heads turned to look at Willow, questioning her with their eyes.

"Uh... it's just I had an idea... what Faith said, about the essence... I think we can do that."

"Go on, Willow"

The red head cast a glance at her ever present girlfriend, she had a plan and she would need both of their strength to put it to use.

"It's the essence... if we connect with the slayers energy, maybe we can trace it back to the `weapon', if it's connected, like you said it was... surely the power would be the same... could we do that?"

"That's a brilliant idea sweetie."

"It is?"

"Definitely." Tara showered Willow with one of her special smiles she saved just for her.

"If the source of power is the same, we can almost certainly trace it... we just need to uh... connect with the slayers... and then really it's not much more then a simple locater spell."

"Hey Tar... this `connecting with the slayers'..." Faith took the time to wiggle her eyebrows at the witch...

"what's that gonna include exactly?"

"Lots of naked hand holding, Faith..." she threw her own raised eyebrow back at the slayer...

"for starters anyway."

Incredulous looks were shot in the direction of Tara... sometimes they just forgot that she wasn't the same, shy and unassuming girl whom they had first met.

"Uh... Naked?"

"Relax B... I'll hold `your' hand, protect ya from the sex mad witches..."

"Oddly Faith... not so much the witches I'm worried about."

Buffy sent a smile at Faith that would assure her she wasn't in the least bit serious. The last two days had been tense in the extreme. She was still keeping her heart closed to the possibility of Faith, she had to. But the fact that they were the `chosen two' in this fight, that had forged a bond that went deeper then the ever present problem of where their hearts might lay.

"So how do we do the spell then guys... candles, circles and a whole lot of chanting."

"Buffy I'm sure that there's a lot more to it then that... we are talking about powerful magic..."

"Uh... actually..." Willow interrupted Giles for the second time...

"It pretty much involves candles, circles and a whole lot of chanting."

"I knew it! This magic stuff... easy!"

"It really is a simple spell, me and Willow will bond with the slayers essence, through hand holding of the clothed kind..."

"Spoilsports!"

"... although Faith can go naked if she wants to?" Tara cast a look the slayers way, it really was fun having her about.

"... then we will do a locator spell, channelling the essence, and hopefully... well, we'll find the weapon."

"I hope it's big."

"Hardly relevant Faith, I would `rather' hope that it's close by."

"Lighten up G... it can't always be about the seriousness... find the fun, and anyway, in my experience... size is always relevant!"

The watcher shook his head in bemusement, he found the girl thoroughly refreshing, her quick wit and sharp mind a pleasure to be around. He certainly let things slide with her, that any of his other charges would barely dare to say to him.

"So the spell... when can we do it?"

"As soon as your ready Buffy, me and Tara are always prepared for impromptu magic... what with being witches and all."

"So what are we waiting for?"

Having something to focus on was bringing a great sense of relief to the group occupying the house. For too long they had felt uninvolved in what was coming, nothing but simple bystanders to the evil gathering around them... now though, now they had something going for their side. There was almost excitement buzzing in the air.

The four girls had gathered in the witches bedroom. In no time the sacred circle was marked out and candles lit. To begin with the slayers would join hands and meditate... focus on the source of their power, bringing all of it out to the surface, so as easily to join with the witches.

"B...?"

"Yes Faith?"

"Your palms are sweaty."

She couldn't help but laugh, being in the witches room, sat on the floor, meditating with Faith... it was just too peculiar. Plus also her hands were kinda sweaty... she was nervous after all.

"Look you two, you wanna try and take this seriously for more then a few seconds?... cos I'm telling ya... anymore funny stuff, I'm gonna get Giles."

"Sorry Red... but her hands... it's wicked gross!"

"Faith!"

"Okay, okay... no need to gang up on me." Faith felt kind of nervous in this situation... she was a novice when it came to the magics... the closest she'd ever come being the whole `body switch' with Buffy... and now, in this room... she was feeling a little vulnerable, hence her need to keep it light.

"I was just saying..."

"We get it Faith... now concentrate."

Once the girls had stopped trying to disturb themselves, they fell into silent and deep meditation... hands linked, their power coursing through their veins, travelling in a circuit, linking them together.

The witches watched with quiet contemplation... they could see the `something' between the two girls, the way they were joined so effortlessly... but they also knew the turmoil that seemed to follow the girls around. It was a shame to them, that things could not work out differently, for surely if this match came to pass, it would be a match forged in heaven.

"Okay guys, that should do it... now if ya wanna sit in the circle, we'll all join hands, and hopefully we'll have a location on this `weapon' in no time at all."

The slayers broke apart.

"Whoa, that was intense."

"Ya can say that again, B."

"Whoa, that was intense ."

The connection the two girls had felt 'had' been intense, and powerful and all other things besides... it was a feeling not unlike being just a little bit tipsy, with all their senses raised to their highest.

"Third times the charm ya know?"

"Whoa that was intense!"

They couldn't help but laugh, they felt really kinda euphoric, and after all the tenseness, it was really rather nice.

They took their places either side of the witches, linking hands and quietly chanting the words they had been taught by Tara... the energy in the room was palpable, creating a glow around the circle, which intensified as the magic grew stronger. Once their essences were joined, Willow called forth the spell which would locate the `weapon'... feeling yet another surge pass through her body, as the essence of the slayers was probed by that which would search.

And then it was over. It was almost anti-climatic. All that build up and heavy energy, just for a little bright light that appeared over a map of Sunnydale.

They all fell backwards as the last of the magic left their bodies, panting, sweating and most definitely flustered.

"Faith?"

"Uh-huh?"

"'Your' palms are kinda sweaty now... ya know ya can let go right?"

"Sorry Red... but that was..."

"Let me guess... intense?"

"Oh yeah." Faith looked around the room at the other girls, the witches looked almost composed, but Buffy seemed to be just as buzzed as she was.

"So this `magic' stuff then... it always feel like this?"

Willow and Tara shared a gaze. Their magic was always intense. Locator spells though... they had lost their oomph for the girls quite awhile ago now. They were slightly juiced from feeling the essence of the slayers pass through them though, both of them aware how much power and strength they had held for that short time.

"This is tame Faith... you wanna see what it's like after some `real' magic..."

The dark girl concentrated on how wound up her body was now... it felt almost sexual, what with all that energy flying around... and she wondered how it could be called tame. Looking at the witches, she had some understanding then of just how `great' their sex life probably was.

And she felt just a little bit envious.

Had she not been so `buzzed', she might of realised that she was envying a couple. Two people in love. But she was buzzed, so she didn't realise. And for the moment, it stayed about the sex.

Astonishment that the weapon existed, and existed in Sunnydale, was the overwhelming feeling when the girls returned downstairs.

That something so important could have been here all this time, and no one had known of it. It was almost ridiculous. Especially as the weapon had been pin pointed to an old pagan temple, just outside of one of the cemeteries they had frequented for years now.

Giles had even stated that he wouldn't believe that the `thing' did exist, until he had seen it with his own eyes. The slayers though, they knew that it existed, they had felt the power... now it was just a question of how they would retrieve it, and how it would help.

It was with a lighter step that the occupants of the house went to bed that night. The vamps outside had become as common to them as the cars in the street, and Caleb seemed to be content with his vitriolic sermons from the sidewalk.

Finally they had something `good' to focus on.

An idea that maybe... just maybe, they would stand a chance in this fight.

Pov None.

The dark slayer was feeling restless. Yes, they may have found the whereabouts of the so called `super- weapon', and yeah the magic buzz was pretty good fun, but she was bored. Everyone else had drifted off to bed. Giles was maybe still shuffling about, always looking to find that next missing piece of the puzzle, but other then that, the house was quiet.

She thought about waking Buffy, maybe suggest some impromptu training, a nice bit of heavy sparring to release the tension... but no. Hers and Buffy's relationship was still not well enough defined, for her to know how to proceed. Sure, they were friends. Maybe. But there was still so much left unsaid. Left unresolved.

Sometimes she still felt `that' connection, the one that scared her, the one that made her pull back. Recoil with fear, fear that she would deny she ever felt. But other times she felt like nothing more then another slayer. Another fighter. Part of the mission. And those feelings scared her too.

She walked the quiet hallway thinking about this and not about this. She still felt the pull... the door of the bedroom of the girl that she... liked. She liked her, and respected her, and wanted to do a whole lot of things to her which didn't really include respect or like. She wanted to consume her. She wanted to touch her in ways she had never touched anyone. Couldn't touch anyone.

But she didn't stop at her door, or open the door, or enter the room, or quietly, softly lean over and touch her, caress her. She did her hardest not to think about doing any of these things. And she paced. She reached one end of the hall, and she stopped. And she turned. And she walked to the other end.

Her eyes betrayed her. She may have been able to stop her body from reacting to the pull... but her eyes. On every pass they sought out the door of the girl she... liked. And respected. And wanted.

But she wouldn't think about that. So she paced. Backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards...

At the sound of a door opening her head turned sharply. Seeking the source of noise, senses on alert, ready to strike.

"Hey Faith... you're up kinda late?"

"Kennedy!"

She had been surprised to see the other girl up. Everyone was asleep. Weren't they?

But the distraction was grateful. Anything to stop thinking the things she was thinking. Stop feeling the things she was feeling.

Stop looking at the door to the room of the girl she kinda, maybe liked.

"So what are `you' doing up... aren't you still `sposed to be resting?"

"Nah... anymore resting, I'm gonna start thinking I really did die. I like to take a little wander when everyone else is asleep, get the circulation going... ya know, work the muscles..."

"You want some help with that?" She couldn't help but react to Kennedy's words. It was what she did.

"You gonna wimp out on me after first base?"

"Wimp out on you?" Faith looked at the potential as if she had grown two heads, no-one, well no-one whom had ever lived to tell, had called her a wimp. It was... it was just wrong.

"Ya know Faith... get me all hot and bothered, then leave me high and dry!" Kennedy was enjoying this, she imagined that not many people could play with the dark slayer this way.

"High and dry?"

"Well... there was wetness, but brief, and pointless..."

The older girl considered this. She still couldn't explain quite what had happened that night. One minute she had been `there', cruising, sliding past first... full steam ahead. And then. And then nothing.

She had rationalised it down to the thing with The First. It had freaked her, caused her to act out of character... Because it couldn't have been anything else. It couldn't have been `the kiss' with Buffy.

"Faith...?"

Because that would mean...

"Faith!"

"Whoa, quiet down there girl... the point of being up when everyone else is sleeping, is the point that everyone else is `sleeping'."

"You were ignoring me."

"I was listening... for trouble... with my slayer hearing, I had to block you out... sensitise my ears..."

"You are such a dork!"

"A dork and a wimp... Hmmmm, I'm thinking you might wanna stop there Ken, don't wanna push me too far..."

"So ya wanna come to my room?"

"Huh?"

"To talk Faith. You know how to do that yeah?"

"Funny." She considered whether she wanted to talk, she wasn't so big with the sharing and caring... but this was Kennedy, and she liked her... and yes, she had even been able to bond with her in ways other then fucking.

"I'm not gonna wait all night Faith..."

"Ok, you're on."

On entering the room, Faith caught sight of another potential sharing the sleeping space.

"What's this Ken... found a new roomy?"

"She was hurt too ya know, I guess it's easier to keep all the infirm together."

"Yeah I bet that's it." She noticed the shared sleeping space, the way the girl looked to be reaching out in slumber for something which was missing.

"It's not like that Faith."

"No?"

The potential looked back at the bed towards the resting form of Rona, face still bruised and sore form the run in with Caleb. She looked at the way her hair framed her face, her skin smooth and peaceful, even in amongst the angry blemishes.

"I think it might be more then that."

"Holy shit Ken... you sure?"

"Nope."

"And she... uh, well ya know, is she into you?"

"I hope so."

"Man... I never figured Rona for playing with the home team..."

"Yeah well, you're not always so adept at seeing what's right in front of you."

The slayer had no response to that. She wasn't even sure what Kennedy meant. What was right in front of her?

And what was with Kennedy and Rona?

"So how longs this little love fest been happening?"

"Not a love fest, not yet, and maybe a week..."

"While we were..."

"Uh-huh... You jealous?"

She considered that. Did she care?

"Not in the slightest Ken... what we had..." She smiled at the memory.

"... that was wicked cool, but we both know it was nothing more then that... you and Rona, if that's what floats your boat... you go girl."

"Thanks for your permission mom."

Faith gave the girl her lopsided grin, she could believe the liberties she let this girl take with her. Calling her a wimp, a dork and now mom. Anyone else... they wouldn't be standing. Things were different here though. She felt that in Kennedy she had made a true friend.

"So that muscle thing in the hall... what would ya have done if I'd jumped ya?"

"I would've worked out my cramps and then gone back to bed..."

"But Rona?"

"It's ok Faith... I knew you weren't gonna jump me."

"Ya did...?" She thought about this, even she hadn't been sure she wasn't gonna jump her.

"How?"

"I think that's one you need to work out on your own."

What did that mean?

"You're freaking me here Ken... when did you go all crypto gal on me, you been hanging out with the scoobs too much?"

"Yeah me and Buffy spend all day braiding our hair... it's a girl thing."

They both laughed at the image this presented. Buffy and Kennedy doing anything other then killing each other was just way too far fetched.

And that reminded Faith. She still had to speak to Kennedy about the whole, Buffy, fight, thing.

"Kennedy...?"

The sleeping girl was stirring on the bed, the noise interrupting her peaceful rest.

"'S'ok I'm here... go back to sleep."

Faith noticed the softness in the girls voice, something she had never had with the girl, something she had never had with anyone. She decided the 'talk' could wait.

"I'm gonna go Ken... let you and your honey get with the snuggling." She raised her brow so as Kennedy knew she meant everything 'but' snuggling.

Raising her self from her spot on the floor, she left the room. Maybe she would go back to her pacing. Maybe she would finally be able to get some rest.

Maybe she would spend some time thinking about the girl behind the door of the room she wouldn't enter. Couldn't enter. But really, really wanted to.

Kennedy watched the other girl leave. Her body still wanted her. But she wasn't stupid. Faith would never be hers, and she would never fall for a girl that couldn't be hers.

Rona was a different story. Something had grown there that she had never fore sawn. Friendship that had grown, and now given the time to just be with each other, had deepened into something better.

Maybe getting pulverised by bringers, and smashed by Caleb had it's advantages.

As she slipped back into bed and moulded her body around that of her `friend', she thought some more about Faith. She sensed real friendship there. She felt a deep bond, something that had nothing to do with the between the sheets action they had shared.

She thought about Buffy as well. She really didn't like that girl. There was no bond there, nothing other then a shared need to inflict pain on one another.

Finally she thought about Buffy and Faith.

And she wondered if Faith would ever open her heart to what she really wanted.

Maybe what she needed.

Pov None.

The blonde slayer was up early. She couldn't sleep, hadn't slept much at all the night before. Had heard Faith walking the hallway in a never ending circuit. Had heard Kennedy rise and engage the dark slayer. Hadn't listened to the words. Hadn't wanted to. Had turned the volume up on her headphones, to avoid it.

She still hadn't dealt with Kennedy. Other things had become more important since Caleb had shown up, and a pissing contest with the potential just wasn't top of the agenda. She still wanted to hurt her though.

She didn't blame her for being with Faith. She didn't think that Kennedy was keeping Faith from being with her. Nope. She knew that the only person keeping Faith from being with her was Faith herself. But she still didn't like that they were `together'.

So she was up now, lurking in the kitchen, eating her toast, drinking her coffee, trying to think of a way to get this `weapon' that was gonna help them defeat The First. She wasn't thinking about Faith. Much.

Her thoughts that she wasn't having were interrupted by footsteps padding down the stairs, and she didn't need to recognise the fall of feet to know whom it was. The warmth that flooded her system as the familiar buzz spread through her was enough. It was Faith of course.

"Morning Faith."

"Hey B... I thought I felt you lurking about, what ya up to?"

The blonde girl held up her toast as if that would explain everything she needed to explain, she couldn't really tell how she had been stood here contemplating Faith, and Kennedy, and her and Faith.

Mostly Faith.

"Ya pop a couple of slices in for me?" She didn't really do toast, after all she had an appetite that would consume more bread then the average family would eat in a month, but Willow wasn't here in her usual spot cooking up the pancakes, so toast would do.

The toast was made and consumed, and an almost tense silence settled over the two slayers. It was as if they both knew they were avoiding something, but neither of them was willing to take the first step needed to resolve whatever the `something' was.

Buffy was finding it harder and harder not to just take the girl. She wanted her. She knew she wanted her. But it wasn't that simple, because the way she wanted her? That included a whole lot of love, and not just fucking. And that...? Well that, like pancakes, just wasn't on the menu.

Faith was finding it harder and harder to keep denying to herself what she already deep down knew. But she had, had a long time to fashion her denial. A long time to deal with the rejection she had felt before, and make ways to protect herself from ever going that way again. A long time to learn the words that had become her mantra.

`I do not `want' love.'

And she had learnt that mantra so well, repeated the phrase so many times, over and over, that to let go of it now... well she didn't think she could.

So they stayed in silence.

Neither really knowing what words were safe to say, and what words would lead to a whole lot more.

Buffy's Pov

We have a plan.

I will retrieve the `weapon', and Faith will guard the house. I know it's not a cunning plan, certainly not in the league of something a great big planning type person would make, but it is a plan. And it's the only plan we've got.

I will leave with Giles, under the cover of daylight, and then in the evening, Faith will keep watch, whilst I go `weapon' hunting. It's certainly not a flawless plan. There is, for example, the small, but rather important point, that Faith is no match whatsoever for Caleb. If Caleb chose tonight to attack the house, then Faith would be here, on her own, to defend the girls. And the witches. And Xander. And my sister.

Maybe that's a very big flaw?

But really there is no other choice. We need the `weapon', whatever it is, if we're to have any chance in the battle against The First.

And if I'm honest with myself...? I'm actually really looking forward to getting out of the house. Maybe I'll be able to slay? That would be `too' good. And how jealous would Faith be?

So I'm ready to go. I've made my round of hugs goodbye, and taken my ordered dose of `be careful's', Giles is waiting in the car, and yep... that's me ready to go. So why am I still here?

Because I haven't said goodbye to `her' yet. And leaving without saying goodbye...? That would be almost as bad as all the `hello's' we haven't gotten around to saying. Like... hello Faith... I love you. Or... hello Faith... I need you. Or... hello Faith... please throw me on the ground and take me now... hard... fast... deep, soft... slow... gentle... just fucking take me already... please?

"So I guess that's you going, hey B?"

"FAITH!"

My god, she scared the shit out of me!

"WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?"

And what planet is she from?

"We aren't shouting Faith... you're shouting."

And boy she looks good, don't care what planet she's from.

"You shouted first, I was just following your lead."

She throws a quizzical look my way, as if I'm gonna explain the incident. Well nope. Not gonna happen, not by a long shot. So I'll lie. Or not lie, because lying is `wrong', so I'll fib. Yep. Me the fibber.

"I was uh... listening to music, in my room... really loud, and my ears... ya know?"

"I never heard any music, and I was upstairs."

"I had my, erm... headphones on. Yep that's it, I was listening to the music... really, `really' loud... and my ears were sore."

I'm gonna smile sweetly. Classic `butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' type of smile. I can do this.

"Didn't know you had headphones B?"

"Well I didn't, but then Wills and Tara, they got me some, so I wouldn't have to hear you and Kenne..."

OH MY GOD!

I can not believe I just said that. Did she notice?

Oh fuck! She is looking at me sooo peculiar. Think Buffy. Think!

"To hear you... singing. In the shower... cos me and the singing... not friends, nope, ask anyone... `does Buffy like singing?'... and they'll tell you... nooo way!"

"What planet you from B?"

"Huh?"

Did she read my mind? Cos I was thinking that... wasn't I?

And if she can read my mind....

`Faith... take me... now... I want you, I want you so bad. I wanna feel you inside me... touching me... tasting me...'

"Why are you looking at me like that B?"

"Like what?"

I must clear my mind.

"I don't know. Oddly."

"You had something... on your face."

I think I am losing it. Buffy Summers has left the building.

Please welcome the temporary replacement... `Insano Girl'. No super powers. No special abilities... except to talk complete shit, and make a complete fool out of herself. She's a talented girl that one.

"Where?"

"Uh... just kind of... um, I'll get it."

I reach over and touch her face. Just lightly, just to wipe away the really big crumb type thing from her cheek. And so my hand lingers? It was a very big crumb.

And so she leans into my touch? Just a little, barely noticeable. I guess she wanted rid of that crumb too.

"Got it B?"

"Oh yeah... I 'got' it."

Again with the strange looks. I never noticed all the strange looks before.

"So you're off then?"

"Yeah, just going now."

"Right."

Now the silence. I hate these silences. This morning in the kitchen... I began to wonder if it was a sponsored silence. We were both winning I think. And then willow came in, and the silence was broken.

"Bye then Faith..."

"Oh yeah... bye then."

"I will be back tomorrow you know?"

Of course she knows I'll be back tomorrow. She was there when we made the plan.

I just felt like I had to say it.

"I know... it's just..."

What? It's just what?

"What Faith?"

I try and keep the expectancy out of my eyes. Is she gonna say `something'?

`Something' I need to hear.

"Just... uh... it's nothing. Nothing."

It can't be `nothing'. It was gonna be `something'

"It can't be nothing, Faith."

Go me. That's it... I'm Buffy the vampire slayer... I can get anything out of anyone... and now? Now I want my `something'.

"I don't want you to go..."

That's it! That's my `something'.

"...alone. It's not safe. What if something happens, something bad, and I'm not there, you go on about me being here alone... but what about you B? Have you even thought of that?"

Damn it. Almost my `something'.

"Faith... yes there are risks, but what's the option? It was me or you. One of us has to go."

"So why can't it be me?"

"Because it's me."

"But why? I'm as good a slayer as you, I can do just as good a job."

Like that's even a question anymore.

"I know Faith. This is just the way it is. You have a better uh... `thing' with the potentials. So it's best if you stay with them... and I'll go get a nice shiny new `weapon'."

I think I sounded a bit `too' perky at the end there... could have blown my cover...

"I knew it! I knew you were just itching to go slay... `go and get a nice new weapon'. Whatever B... I know the truth... you're all juiced up with no place to go... you're going out looking for action!"

Busted!

"Uh... maybe I'm looking forward to working out some energy... getting rid of some tension..."

"Bitch!"

"Huh?"

"So not fair B!... I'm going crazy without the slaying... it's worse then prison, at least in there I was making the choice. Here it's just fucked up crazy preachers keeping me in. It sucks."

What do I say to that?

"Sorry?"

"Doesn't matter. Just make sure to get notes. I want full slayage details... with grunts!"

"Grunts?"

I don't `do' grunts!

"Yep... you get back tomorrow... I want grunting."

That's what I want too.

She's shooting me `another' odd look. I think it's cos I'm grinning inanely.

Maybe insanely. Did I introduce you to `Insano Girl'?

"I'll um... make notes. Lots and lots of notes... for the grunting, cos if you want grunting... I'm your girl!"

Some one shut me up!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP!

That will be Giles then. Right on cue.

"That will be Giles."

"I figured that one out B, what with the car horn, and Giles waiting in the car."

"Oh... right."

"So... this is goodbye then?"

"You said that already."

Picky me.

"Just making sure you go this time."

"I'm going."

"But you'll be back tomorrow?"

"With the grunting."

"I look forward to it."

What are we doing?

"Right."

"Yep."

"So... bye then Faith."

"Bye Buffy."

I got full name usage?

And I hug her.

I don't know where it came from. Lots of people call me Buffy. I don't hug them for it. Would certainly freak the dentist out, that's for sure.

This hugging feels nice. And so what if it's just a little longer then friendly? So what if the person I'm hugging... no, `holding'... so what if they just happen to be sleeping with the girl upstairs, and so what if I want them, more then... more then anything? Cos this hugging feels nice.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP!

And that will be Giles. Right off cue.

"I better go."

She's looking at me oddly again. But different oddly.

"Yeah... you`d better. Don't wanna keep G-man waiting."

"Right. Cos that would be wrong. Uh... Bye then... Till tomorrow."

And I turn to leave the house. And she calls me back.

"B...?"

"Yes?"

"I uh... I just wanted to say... well... I just wanted to say..."

For gods sake! Spit it out... what's with this fucking pausing...?

"... that I... I guess I need..."

Go on, go on, go on...

And then Giles walks in. Just like that. And I will never know what Faith needs.

"Are you coming Buffy...? I believe the plan was to be out of here by sundown... to avoid the vampires?"

I could kill him. Right now I could absolutely, in cold blood, kill him!

"Yes Giles. I'm just coming."

I hope that my tone conveyed my feelings. By the look he is giving me I'd say, yes. Message received.

"We'll finish this later Faith...?"

She's looking at me like I just asked her to remove her entrails and possibly take up cross stitching with them. Which is a very strange look, I tell ya.

"Uh yeah, B. Later."

I am going to kill Giles. Slowly. With torture. Lots and lots of very bad, `you ruined my moment', torture.

"Bye then Faith. Willow."

Willow? Where?

And there she is. On the stairs. Almost like she had been listening. And she's alternating between giving Giles really bad looks, and me looks of sympathy. And I'd say, yep. She was definitely listening.

"Uh... bye Giles, Buffy. You uh...go get that `weapon'... go team!"

I grab Willow in another quick hug. She used my full name. It wasn't so I had an excuse to hug Faith again. Nope.

She wasn't quite as hearty in her return this time. I don't care. For some reason my heart is beating again. Really loudly. It kinda sounds like it's beating out hope. Or maybe it's Faith?

I leave the house and head for the car, Giles nipping at my heels like only a good watcher can. It will be fun, what with the torture.

I look at the house as we drive away. Lots of WOW!... but also... Grrrrr! I just can't shake the almost nervous feeling I have. I think that's why I couldn't go without saying goodbye to Faith.

Or was it hello?

I just think something bad is gonna happen.It must be because I'm smiling.

Willow's Pov

We all have missions in life. Whether they are big, or small, or floating somewhere in between, we still have them. Missions. If you were to guess my mission, I'm thinking you would go with... `uses witchy goodness to prevent the forces of evil'... right?

Wrong.

I have a very special, very important, new kind of mission. A self appointed one.

I sat on the stairs and watched the little slayer love fest this afternoon... and really? Oh goddess, how frustrating can two people be?

The way they dance around the most obvious thing in the world, as if they don't know, as if they're oblivious to what's right in front of their faces. Surely no one can be that oblivious... that dense?

Maybe it's all that `super-strength', it pulls vital neurons away from the direction of the brain, rendering them incapable to have a straight forward, normal conversation.

At first it was cute. Now it's crazy.

So I have my mission.

I am going to single handedly bring these two walking balls of frustration into the same orbit.

Buffy won't be hard. The looks she was shooting Faith... I really thought she was gonna jump her at one point... but no, that would be the easy way.

It's Faith that's gonna be the hard nut to crack. All that `I don't want love' crap. Had me fooled... for like five minutes. If she doesn't want love, why does she look at Buffy like she's already there? I wish I had the strength to bang their heads together. I would enjoy that... but just for the `mission' of course.

But I don't have the strength... so I'm here, in the basement, watching Faith train in a blur of flying sweatyness, just waiting for the moment to launch my attack...

"Hey Red... you got nothing better to do then watch me sweat?"

"Nope. I mean... I wasn't watching you sweat, I was waiting to talk to you."

She stops hitting the big punching bag, and gives me a `look'.

"What do ya wanna talk about."

Hmmmm. How to start...

"Uh... so how are you?"

"How am I?... you came down here to ask me how I am?"

"Yep... checking the morale of the troops, very important job... keep everyone perky."

"So you came to make me `perky'."

"Uh... no. I came to `keep' you `perky'. So... are you feeling particularly perky?"

"Has anyone ever told you Red... you're kinda a bit strange?"

Ok, so this isn't quite how I figured it would go. I need to change tactics... maybe a more direct approach...

"So Buffy, huh?"

"Buffy what?"

She's maybe looking at me like she thinks I'm more then `kinda a bit strange'.

"Well, how is Buffy?"

"Last time I saw her, she seemed fine to me, but then you was there as well... so you tell me?"

Would it be the wrong thing...? To say she looked a little bit like a crazy lovesick puppy?

"Yep... definitely fine."

"Ok. So we've got that B's fine... I'm heading for `perky', and you're gonna stick with strange... are we done...? cos I've got a whole lot of stuff to work out on this here punch bag."

Someone's sounding kinda cranky... kinda frustrated.

"Anything I can help with?"

That's it. I'm going for the softly, softly... I'm here for you approach.

"You want me to work out my stuff on you?"

"No! Well not in a punch bag hitting kind of way... cos ouch! But if ya wanted to talk, then yep... I'm your girl for talking."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"You're not very easy to surprise?"

"Believe me Red... lots of things are surprising me just now."

This is it, I have cracked the mighty nut that is Faith.

"Uh-huh. Like what?"

"Aren't we sposed to skate round the issue first... build up a little bond before we get with the sharing? Cos on the inside, prison, ya know... my therapist was always doing loads of small talk before we hit the big issues, I kinda got used to that."

"You want to small talk?... I can small talk, so... those vamps huh? Crazy looking uglies."

"Forget the small talk Red. You wanna know what's eating me?"

"Yep... what's uh, eating you?"

"It's B."

No really? Cos ya just shocked me there Faith... no really ya did, someone come revive me, cos I am `soooo' shocked.

"B? Buffy? Erm... so why's Buffy eating you Faith."

I really said that didn't I?

"That's the problem isn't it?"

"What's the problem?"

"She's not."

"What?"

I am officially lost.

"Eating me!"

She's giving me that look. That traffic stopping, mouth watering, sexy as hell look. The one that lets me know she meant that, exactly as she said it.

"Oh... right. So you want Buffy to `eat you'... do we have to keep using the `eating' reference? Not that I don't appreciate the girl on girl goodness of `eating'...but..."

"Chill Red... call it what ya want, doesn't change anything."

"Right... so you want Buffy... and you're frustrated because... she wants you too?"

"Yes!... wait..., what?"

"Well unless I'm completely wrong, which believe me... doesn't happen often, then well, you want her, she wants you, I am failing to see the problem?"

Come on Faith... spit it out girl... the problem is...

"The problem is Will... well, she doesn't want me. Not like that. I think she wants me like `that', but not just like that, and really... I don't know Red, do I want her like `that', or am I just about the other that?"

I will never understand what she just said to me. Ever.

"Err... you wanna do that again... without the `that's'?"

"But that's what it's all about."

"What?"

"The `that's'!"

"I think you lost me... you want Buffy, and Buffy wants you... but you don't know if Buffy wants you, or `wants' you, and you don't know how you `want' Buffy. That it?"

Now she looks as confused as I'm feeling.

"Ya know Red... I think I was having a lot more joy, working my shit out on this here bag."

"No!"

"No?"

"You have to sort this out Faith... we have a big fight coming, and all this Grrrrr, it might mess with your uh... battle stuff."

"My battle stuff?"

"Yeah, like your energy and stuff."

"Oh right... so, that's it."

"What's what?"

"Haven't you been listening?"

"I think so."

"It's B."

"Oh right, yes, it's Buffy."

"So what do I do... how do I know what I want?"

I can not believe that Faith, big bad leather clad goddess of slaying, is asking me what to do... if only I had a camera... it's almost a Kodak moment.

"Well what does your heart say?"

"My what?...I don't tend to converse with my heart Red... more of a groin girl ya know?"

"Well maybe you should listen to your heart for a change... maybe that's where the answer lays."

"Ya think?... cos I did that once before ya know... felt all fuzzy, and where it got me... not nice."

"I remember."

Maybe I shouldn't have said that? Because now she is looking at me in a really odd kind of way... but surely she doesn't think that I don't know she was in love with Buffy before... we're not all clueless ya know.

"Yeah well... if ya remember, then ya know what I'm saying. That was the worst time of my life Red... and that is saying a fuck of a lot. I don't think I can do that again... I really don't."

"But why would it be the same... everything is different now. You're different, she's different. Everything."

"But I don't know how to do it, if I wanted to, which I'm not saying I do, because I don't... well not necessarily... but if I did, I don't even know how."

"To love?"

"Whatever."

And what do I say to that? Loving Tara has always been easy. Even before I knew I did, it was easy. It just was.

"I think you need to start by listening to your heart Faith, maybe less to the groin."

"I like my groin."

It does look rather nice I must admit, all snug there between her... whoa! Not having that thought.

"I'm not saying ignore it... I'm just saying, give the heart a chance."

"And how will I know what it sounds like? Cos with the groin... well that's easy."

"My heart say's Tara. Yours you have to figure out on your own."

"But how will I know if it's saying the right thing? I might think it`s saying the right thing... and then I might just fuck it all up again, then what?"

"You don't get guarantees Faith... but taking chances, sometimes it's all worth it."

I hope she is getting this. I feel like I'm getting somewhere. But with Faith... who knows?

"But with the fucking... that's guaranteed bona fide goodness... well usually anyhow, had a couple of real bad rumbles, but not many... why can't she just settle for that... for now?"

"Do you want her to settle for that?"

She's got a glazed look in her eyes, and I know what she's thinking, she's imagining all that naked naughtyness...

"Uh... well, I wouldn't be upset if she did."

"You wouldn't? Not even a little bit... if it turned out Buffy just wanted you for sex, you would be happy with that?"

"Maybe. Not upset."

"And there's that groin talking again!"

"Look Red..."

I can see her closing down. Kodak moment over.

"... I appreciate ya trying to help ok?... it's nice to know you give a shit, but I've got this yeah? I can deal."

"Just think about it Faith... what ya giving up."

"Can't give up what you've never had."

"And if you've always had it?"

She doesn't answer that one. She turns around and she hit's the punch bag.

Actually, I take that back. She pulverises the punch bag. I think even Caleb would've felt that one.

"I'm gonna go Faith... perk up the rest of the troops."

She looks at me like she isn't really sure that I managed to perk her up. Sure I did. She just doesn't realise it. Yet.

Going back up the stairs, I think about my mission. Did I achieve anything?

I don't know.

But at least I've given her something to think about.

Faith's Pov

What a day.

It started with toast, sped past plans, screeched to a halt at hugs, and then went seriously wonky with Willow. Certainly a day to remember, and it's only just coming to sundown.

Toast was awkward. Silently awkward. It was one of those situations where you have a thousand things to say... and not one of them can form into a speak able phrase. So you say nothing. And the longer you say nothing, the harder it is to say anything.

Plans was boring. Dull and boring. I never was the sit and plan type of girl, I'm much more of an act first, ask questions later type. Plans are for... well, planners. The plan's kinda risky too, what with B all out on her own. Can't say I'm not worried.

Hugs.

If I said I never was the hugging type, I wouldn't be lying either. All that closeness and intimacy... it's just, heavy. Yeah that's it. Hugs are heavy. And B's hug had a whole lot of weight behind it. Part of me felt suffocated... the other part... the larger part... that just felt `perfect'. And that was confusing.

I so wanted to give in to it. The perfection. The rightness. But the suffocating part... that part shouts real loud... every word a hollered gasp for air.

And I could feel it. The weight, it was smothering me, speaking to me everything she wanted this hug to mean.

For the longest moment I wanted to pull away. I don't `want' this! But I didn't. I did the opposite.

I hugged her back. It felt like I was holding her. And it felt `perfect'.

So perfect that all my words, the ones that were missing at toast, they returned. They remembered they had `something' to say.

I haven't a clue what is was going to be. How fucked up is that?... but then I said I was never a planner. If I was a planner I might have locked the front door.

Then we would all know what I was going to say, because I would have said it.

I think.

But for now I guess it remains unspoken.

Willow was... hmmm... confusing? That Red is surely one messed up broad. It was good to talk to her though... I guess that's kinda fucked up too.

I'm not really big on talking. Well... talking shit, I can do that all day long. But `talking' talking. That's like a foreign language to me. Maybe that's why Red seemed to get me, she's fluent in all sorts of languages. Straight up, grade `A' brainiac.

I still haven't a clue what I want. I guess the only difference now is that I'm not too sure about what I don't want either. And I've `always' been sure about that.

Red said `to listen to my heart'. Only trouble is... that's another language I don't speak. The language of love.

So now I'm here. In B's room. Trying my hardest to see if my heart has anything to tell me.

My groin told me to head straight for the panty draw... gotta love the groin! But I didn't, because I'm trying, I'm really trying.

I look at the bed, because that's always a good place to start, right?

And I know I want her there. The thought of being inside of B... it's intoxicating. It fills me with a longing I've never known. Scary in it's intensity. Desire at it's strongest.

I look at her wardrobe, it's almost perfect in it's neatness, with just a few little nods to wildness. Reminds me of a girl I know. I touch the clothes, almost absently, thinking of the woman that wears them. Feeling the texture, inhaling the scent. And I feel `something' here, in amongst the clothing.

I pick up her make up. She always looks so good. So hot. I run my fingers along the lipsticks. I close my eyes and imagine running my fingers along her lips. I know how soft they are. I kissed her hard, but I still felt their softness.

I look at her eye shadows. I think of her eyes. The most amazing eyes I've ever seen.

So many times I could've lost myself in her eyes. And every time I've stopped myself.

Sometimes scared to show `me', sometimes scared of what I would see.

I look at her CD's. The soundtrack to her life. And I wonder if any of her songs are for me. I have a thousand songs for her.

Some of them painful, some of them sad, some of them about `love'.

And there I've said it.

The soundtrack to my life is a love song for Buffy Summers.

The beat is the rhythm of my heart. And I can hear it.

And there I thought Red was shitting me! `Listen to your heart'... yeah, whatever. But I can hear it.

It's deafening me.

But I don't want it to stop. Ever.

I lay myself down on the bed. Exhausted from the thinking. Every time I roll my head to the side I can see her panty draw. Good to know my groin's still shouting!

It's getting kinda dark now. I'm wondering if B's set off. I'm shitting myself. Almost literally.

And I hear Red coming through the door before she even arrives. Freaky slayer senses.

"Faith!... I was looking for you..."

"What's up Red?"

"...it's the vamps."

"What about them?" I can feel my self readying for a fight, muscles straining, itching to release.

"They're not there!"

"Huh?"

"There's no freaking vamps Faith! None! No Caleb, no vamps, nothing!"

This is messed up. Because if they're not here, then there...

"Buffy!"

"That's what I'm scared of... I tried to ring Giles, but there's no answer... Tara is doing a locator spell... but goddess, Faith, I'm scared."

"SHIT! SHIT! FUCKING SHIT!"

I am going to explode.

"GOD DAMN IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!"

I want to kick something. I want to kill something.

"Faith... clam down, this isn't gonna help!"

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down Red! I AM NOT FUCKING CALM AND I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO BE! OK?"

Red looks a bit scared. So why is she getting in my face?

"Don't fuck with me Faith! I love Buffy too, ok? But your shit is not helping, so shut the fuck up, and think about what to do to help!"

The witch has got some balls. I like it. A lot.

"I'll go and find her. I can sense her, it'll be easy. And when I find her? Then I shall help her to kick every single one of those dead mother fuckers asses back to hell. Is that a good enough plan?"

"What if it's a trap."

"Not caring."

"Faith... we have to think about this ok? You leave the house, there's no one here to protect the girls, protect Dawn... would Buffy want that?"

"Red, when I said not caring, which bit did you miss?"

"Faith..."

"NO! I'm no good here anyway... we all know that. It's bullshit! If Caleb wanted to rip me limb from limb, he could do it, anytime. Buffy needs me, so I'm going. Now!"

"Ok, ok. I understand."

I make to leave the room. My adrenalin is pumping. I feel crazy.

Days I have been itching to slay. To hunt. To kill. And now them fucking bastards are gonna pay. Each and every one of them.

A funny thought crosses my mind as I go to shut the door.

"Hey Red...?"

"Yeah?"

"I never said that I loved B."

She just smiles at me, I'm not sure if it's stupidly or sweetly.

"I already heard your heart, Faith."

We share a `look'.

That Red sure is one clued up broad.

And with that I'm gone. I am a slayer, and I'm damn well ready to slay!

Pov None.

The blonde slayer was in the thick of battle. There was no way of knowing how the vamps knew she would be here. They definitely knew though. And she was fighting them.

When she had arrived it had been eerily quiet. The light of the moon her only source of illumination. She was ok though. She had slayer vision. The door had been tough to open, seemingly locked for centuries, maybe longer. The creak it made when it finally gave was enough to startle even her. Making her heart jump, her back stiffen.

Inside there was an almost ethereal glow. Candles that shouldn't be burning, lighting the walls. It certainly threw up the question of `who was the person lighting them'? And where the hell were they?

She had felt pulled beyond the curtains, heavy velvet numbers, which broke the room in half. And inside? Inside she had found it.

It was the hottest thing she had ever seen. And she wanted to hold it. To caress it. To feel it's touch against her skin. It called out to everything that `was' her, that was `the slayer'. When she closed her hands around it, she felt a surge of energy flow through her veins.

But that was nothing compared to when she lifted it from it's stone encasing and held it for the first time.

Her whole body was alive. Primed. Ready for anything.

She almost attacked the frail looking aged woman that appeared as if from nowhere. Lightening fast reactions, saving the woman from a certain beheading.

And then the vamps had arrived.

And now she was fighting for her life.

Faith's Pov

I can't run any faster. My lungs are set to burst, my legs are set to fall off, and my hearts about ready to explode. It's still not fast enough though. I have to get to her. Now.

I get to the temple, and the doors jammed shut. It wont budge. I can hear sounds from inside. It sounds like fighting. With ease I get to the roof, looking for an in. And there is one. A perfect circle formed in the roof. I'm guessing it's something about the sun, or the moon. These things always are.

In that instant before I dive through the hole I stop myself, because something has caught my eye. Something shiny and new. The `weapon'. And oh yeah, that thing is awesome.

I can feel it calling to me, urging me to reach out for it. Embrace it. And I can tell by the way B is wielding it... damn that things got power!

She is chopping down an army of `ugly vamps'. There's maybe eight in there with her, and by the numbers of piles of dust on the floor...? I'm saying she's killed that many already. She is one fine slayer... maybe as good as me!

I resist the urge to call out to her, to shout my encouragement, because I just wanna watch. There is something so hot about watching her just now, the way she is moving. A force stronger then nature, complete, absolute, fucking power. And it's the strongest aphrodisiac I have ever known.

I want her. In this instant, beyond anything, I want her. All my blood is flowing straight between my legs, and my mind is rushing there too.

I want to throw her on the ground, rip every damn piece of clothing from her body and fuck her senseless.

I'd fuck her so hard she wouldn't even remember my name. It wouldn't matter though, because she would still be screaming it. Every single time I thrust into her, she would scream it. Loud enough for the world to hear.

I watch her slice another vamps head straight from his ugly ass little body, and it sends tingles down my spine. A stake to the heart of another almost has me moaning out loud. It feels like I'm watching porn. The best fucking porn I've ever seen. It's a shame this slaying gigs secret... cos that girl? She could make some money!

I can feel the sweat trickling down the back of my neck, entering my top, finding a trail down my spine, touching all the places I want to touch her.

I watch as she flips through the air, slicing the blade of the...? What, axe?... through the neck of another vamp, it looks too easy, I'm glad it is, it's giving me the chance to watch. She doesn't stop on landing, she's on another, using the handle to strike him in the face, knocking his head back, exposing his throat. She stakes him through it with the sharp end, a gaping wound appearing as she withdraws her weapon, immediately re-aiming for his chest.

Another one bites the dust, and I'm just another notch hotter. This is almost as good as foreplay. Maybe better.

I can see the sweat on her body, and I wonder if she can feel it sliding down her back, heading to places I want to go. The look on her face is beautiful. Such concentrated aggression, tempered only by the look of absolute joy. I bet she's getting off on this. She has to be.

The hairs on the back of my neck suddenly strain through the sweat, to stand on end. I can feel a vamp, and it's not inside. It's out here. With me. I'm gonna fucking kill it for ruining my show. `Really' fucking kill it!

Just as I'm thinking about making my way to find some fun, a crash draws my attention back to where it was before. And I see the door fly inwards. And I see `someone' come walking in through the opening, staking an `ugly' in the process, all action and `super-fucking-hero' cool.

And I know now why I was sensing vamp. Because below me I'm seeing an `Angel' The fucking saviour of my soul. And now I'm `really' interested.

I `need' to see how this one plays out. Because I've seen this one before.

They fall into a rhythm immediately. Makes me wonder if it's something remembered, or something they always had. Did they learn each others moves, or did they always know them?

He softens them up, and she finishes them off. Reminds me of a time when she softened one up, and I finished `him' off. The time when it all went wrong.

But that's gone now right...? Cos everything's different now. Everything's changed.

And I want to believe that so badly, that I hang onto it for everything I'm worth.

They finish up the vamps so quick. And that's when time freezes.

Because this is the moment isn't it? This is the moment that's gonna make a few things clear to me. Maybe `everything' clear to me.

Their hands are resting on their knees, both of them bending over, Buffy to catch her breath... Angel...? Your guess is as good as mine... not like he's been winded is it?

I can sense as their eyes raise to meet, there's energy in the air. Expectancy. I don't need to strain my ears to hear, their words echo off the stone walls of the temple, surround sound at it's best.

"Angel..."

"Buffy..."

They remembered each others names. Touching.

And that's not the only thing touching. Their hands are rising up, fingers linking, making contact.

"Why are you here?"

"I don't get `hello'?"

I can see her smile. It's radiant. And I want it to be for me.

"Hello... Angel."

"Hello... Buffy"

Now they're both smiling. I feel quite sick. It's not pleasant. But nothing could tear my eyes away. Cos I can see. I can see as his head bends down, and his mouth touches hers, and they kiss, just like that.

And I feel like a fucking voyeur.

In the instant that I decide to dust his ass, regardless of anything his ever done for me, the kiss is broken. And now I'm not sure if it ever really began. Because a kiss between lovers should last longer then that shouldn't it? And that was barely a touching of lips. So maybe I should wait with the dusting.

"So, you are pleased to see me then?"

Smooth soul boy, real fucking smooth.

"Always."

They share another `heart-warming' look, that sends chills down my spine... damn! Ain't that jealousy a bitch?

The sound of hand clapping breaks the spell. Looks like Caleb just arrived at the party... and I'll take that as my invite to dance.

I launch myself through the hole in the roof and crash to the floor at B's feet.

"Faith?"

"Hey B... mind if I crash the party?"

She's just looking at me bemused.

I guess it's not everyday that dark slayers fall from the sky.

Pov None.

"How very, very touching. I guess this is what you folks call a `reunion', the blonde filth that sleeps with dead men...evil men... tell me `Buffy', when they were with you, fucking you, did you feel closer to heaven, or to hell?"

"I'm guessing you're the women hating preacher I've been hearing so much about. Caleb isn't it?"

"And you must be Angel. I've heard a lot about you also, been waiting for the pleasure. Nothing sickens me more, then a demon that's lost it's way... wandered uselessly into the light, searching for redemption that`s never gonna come."

"Why do you always talk such crap? Seriously dude, you need to work on that routine, it gets old, real quick."

"And of course... my favourite. The dirty little whore. The one that fucked men before she was old enough to walk, always the vessel for man's sin, washing in the filth of desire..."

"I've told ya before that talk gets me hot, you want me to come wash that sweet mouth out for ya?"

"As much as I want to take the time to give you the attention you deserve, little girl, right now I'm gonna ask you're bitch partner to hand over that nasty little weapon she's holding, and maybe if she does it, I might make her death less slow, and painful."

"You want this weapon I'm holding?"

"That would be in your best interests, yes."

"Well come and get it then, you sick little freak."

Buffy charged at the outspoken `priest', aiming the `axe' to the centre of his chest, sailing wide, when he sidestepped out of her way.

He turned before her, whipping a back hand violently across the side of her head, sending her sailing to the floor, a groan of pain to be heard, as her body met solid ground.

The sound of her pain was her comrades call to arms.

They both flew at Caleb. Attacking him at random, yet seemingly in tune. He was stronger then them, but they were two, he was one. They weren't gaining an advantage, but they were keeping him busy, occupied whilst Buffy regained her focus. Lost the stars that were flying past her eyes.

"You are so gonna pay for that..."

And with that she was back in the game, making the odds even better for their team, the fight they were bringing to the preacher even stronger.

With a final flurry of forceful blows, an opening was created for the weapon to pass through. And it slid through with ease. Ripping a hole deep in the gut of the embittered so called `prophet'.

He fell to his knees, a chuckle reverberating out of his wound and from his mouth, the sound being muffled by the intrusion of blood.

"You think this matters...? You think you can win...? This is nothing! This is only the beginning of what is coming for you. Your cries of pain will be music in hell itself when it rises, your blood will be the wine upon which my master gorges himself , your flesh he will feast upon, followed by your souls..."

The dark haired slayer shook her head and looked at her partner...

"B... may I?"

Buffy handed over the `axe' without thought, placing it firmly in the only other pair of hands where it truly, truly belonged.

Faith turned in an instant, pausing only to take the final word.

"How many times do I have to tell you to SHUT THE FUCK UP!?"

And with that she brought the `axe' clean through the air, severing the head from the neck of the `priest', finally halting the poisonous words which were dripping from his mouth.

"Damn! I sliced right through that fucker's collar... did you guys see that?"

She turned to face her companions, and suddenly she remembered, and she felt kinda pissed again. The weapon was heavy in her hands, and there was a small part of her desperate to send it Angel's way. But she wouldn't. Because things were different now.

"Faith... it's good to see you."

"Soul-boy... how's things?"

"Good."

Buffy looked between the two. There was a tenseness she wouldn't have expected, she knew they shared a bond. Sometimes it had bothered her. Not anymore.

"Hey guy's... hold off on the hug fest, the emotions just killing me, really it's too much."

"Sorry B... did ya want me to get all smoochie with him like you did?"

The look of realisation was almost comical as it slid across the blonde girls face.

"That wasn't smooching Faith, that was just hello... good to see you, hope you're well."

"With lots of lips?"

"It was a kiss hello for god's sake... what is your problem?"

"I just realised some things... that's all."

"Don't talk in fucking riddles, Faith... I think we're past that now aren't we?"

"Whatever B."

Buffy could feel the waves of jealousy flying towards her from Faith. She didn't get it. The kiss, that she and Angel had shared was nothing. Barely a peck. Definitely chaste. And also... what the hell business was it of Faith's? She could still feel the buzz of the fight, electrifying her senses, and she was gonna have this out. She was past waiting. Silently wanting.

"Don't `whatever' me Faith, cos I deserve more then that."

"Uh... guys? I'm gonna wait outside, let you sort this one out."

The vampire turned to leave the temple, not needing or wanting to hear the words of his two slayers. This was personal, something that he wasn't privy to anymore.

As for the slayers they didn't acknowledge him. They were somewhere else. Embroiled in a much more important issue.

"What the fuck do you want from me B?"

"I want answers."

"To what?"

"Where the hell is the jealousy coming from Faith...cos I have to say..."

"Who's jealous B? Don't flatter yourself now."

"...will you shut the fuck up?" The blonde girls icy tone, ended any more interruptions.

"What the hell right do you have to be jealous?... every fucking night I have to listen to you and Kennedy, humping the night away...and I fucking hate it... so tell me Faith... what the hell right do you have?"

The dark slayers look was confused. Listening to her and Kennedy... but...

"B...?"

"What!"

"I haven't been with Ken, not since I ki... not since the tournament."

"Huh?"

"I haven't."

"Don't lie to me Faith... I've heard your little clandestine meetings in the hallway, the sneaking into bed rooms... the little groans..."

"Don't tell me I'm lying B! I fucking know where the fuck I've been and when... and I'm telling you... I have not fucked Kennedy, since the fucking tournament... and do you want to know why?"

Buffy didn't know what to say... she was confused, she was sure Faith had been with Kennedy. Had agonised for hours with her headset turned up high, imagining the noises she thought she was blocking out... and now... now it seemed that she was wrong.

"Why Faith."

"Because I couldn't ok? Fucking satisfied... one kiss from Buffy bloody Summers and I'm screwed... I wanted to... I started to... but I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about you, and that was that, no more fucking, for pathetic little Faith! You happy now?"

She considered that. And it seemed wrong to lie. After all, wasn't Faith being honest?

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes, I'm happy now."

"And how the fuck do ya figure that one, B?"

"It hurt Faith. Every night I imagined you and her, and the kissing... and the... stuff. Every night I wanted to scream and shout and pull you off her, but I couldn't, because you didn't want to be pulled. And now I don't need to torture myself with that? It makes me happy."

"So why was you smooching on Angel?"

"You are joking right? Cos `that' was not smooching."

"It wasn't?"

"Nah-huh."

"It looked like smooching."

The slayers eyes met in a peaceful moment.

"You need me to come over there and show you smooching Faith?"

The dark haired girl considered this, and she knew she wasn't ready. Ready to take that step to committing to `something', she had only just begun to know she wanted.

"Ya know I want that more then anything right B? But right now, now I have to listen to my heart... and ya can blame that one on Red, cos I was all for listening to the groin..."

"And what's your heart saying Faith...?"

"It's saying `take it easy', `no need to rush', and ya know what B?... I think I trust it. Probably crazy, what with it's history... but I just feel the need to listen."

The chosen two shared another 'look'. A moment.

"So tell me Faith... what's your groin saying?"

"It's not saying anything... it's screwing you senseless."

"And we're not listening, why?"

"Because I think I'm starting to get that it's more."

The smile of understanding that lit the smaller slayers face was beyond beautiful. To Faith it was everything.

"Settle for a hug?"

"You have to ask, B?"

And they hugged. Holding each other close, relaxing into an embrace that was beginning to feel familiar. Beginning to feel like `something'.

It might have been the moonlight, that chose that moment to shine through the hole in the roof, which inspired the girls to more, or it might have just been the feeling of rightness. That everything here was just meant to be.

Whatever it was, their lips were touching. Barely moving, breathing life into each other.

A moment which lasted less then an instant, but carried the weight of a lifetime. A perfect moment.

And as with all perfect moments, theirs had to end.

"Girls, slayers... I have waited for you to come."

They turned in tandem to look at the source of the voice. It was the woman. Buffy's brief and forgotten encounter.

"Who are you... where did you go?"

"Where I went is not important... it is not my job to fight. It is my job to impart knowledge... to guard the `weapon' of the slayer... to watch over the `scythe'..."

"Uh `scythe'?... cos I was going with `axe'"

Buffy didn't mean to be rude, but she was sure she knew her weapons, and this did not look like a scythe. Nope!

"As the one whom created it I believe I have the right to call it a `scythe', do you wish to argue with me child?"

The look the old lady gave, was one which did not leave room for arguing.

"Nope, it's a scythe. My bad!"

"So lady, what's this knowledge you're imparting, cos I'm itching to split this place, it gives me the creeps."

"You would do best to listen girl... what I have to tell you, it may be all you have to save everything you hold dear, the very world you fight for."

"Ok, you got me, I'm listening."

"To defeat The First, you must first find the `amulet of the scythe'."

"The who of the what?"

As if all his entrances were cheesily choreographed to have the maximum impact, Angel chose that moment to re-enter the temple, holding in his hand a gaudy looking necklace, both bold and tasteless.

"You ladies looking for this."

"I am so not wearing that!"

Faith shot a look Buffy's way.

"But B... you are so the `head-slayer', anyone gets to wear that rather sexy looking piece of uh... neck wear, I'm thinking it's got to be you."

"Nope, no way, I have an image."

"No B... `I' have an `image', you're just a victim of fashion."

"Harsh, Faith."

"I know."

"I find your lack of attention to the situation astounding, it makes me worry for the line of the slayer."

Both the girls refocused their attention at them words, they didn't like to be insulted.

"Lady... you wanna see how mad this slayer's skills are... cos I can do that, I'm in the mood for dancing."

"Faith! Get a grip. This lady, as you call her, she's the only hope, the only one left who knows the ritual. Who can stop The First."

"Ok, soul boy... I'm... sorry."

Faith backed down, and the lady with the wisdom, the one who knew what needed to be known, she finished her tale. Imparted the knowledge. Played her part in the battle for good. And the three warriors left, returning to Revello Drive.

There was a witch there, that they needed to see.

Willow's Pov

So it looks like I have to get `big' with the mojo. A spell bigger then anything I've ever tried before, beyond any power that I've ever tried to harness before... bigger even then when we brought Buffy back. And that scares me.

Because we know what happened last time I got a taste for the power. And what if that happens again?

I don't even know if I can do what they want me to do. It's ok for the slayers to walk in all bold and brash, waving their `pretty' little necklace about, they're not the ones who have to wear it. Who have to use it to un-harness the power of the scythe.

I would say it was good to see Angel again, but he brought the stupid amulet with him, so I'm holding off on the joy. I know I should be all `Yay' with the breakthrough. But I'm scared.

I can feel it coursing through my veins, twisting my stomach, drying my mouth, and it's as much as I can do to read the words of the spells I have to learn. That I have to learn by tomorrow. And how crazy is that?

Cos really...? I'm not in any rush to go cruising to my death. And no one else should be either. But Buffy's all adamant with the plan, and Faith just looks like she's itching to kill something, and as for Angel... well he's pretty quiet, so how would I know.

"The First won't be expecting this Will... we have to strike while we have an advantage... it's the only way. As soon as it realises what we have, what we can do, it will come for us... and I for one am not going to wait, don't want to wait, won't wait!"

I think of Buffy's words and I'm still gonna vote for waiting. Oh yes, take our time, consider options... run the hell away.

Giles was wary. He may have stood tall behind his slayers, but I could see the trepidation in his eyes. He's not so sure that we should rush in, he wants a better plan. But Buffy said this was `the' plan, and that allows for no argument.

I would like to meet this mystic old lady that the slayers were talking of. Living in a dingy old temple for goddess knows how long... makes me wonder if maybe her brain hasn't gone just a little mushy with age... why else would she think to say that I was the `one'.

She said that you were the one Wills, that you have the power... and I believe her. She said you can do it, all of it... release the essence, channel the energy... save the world..."

And how do you disagree with words like that?

Maybe Buffy's head went a bit mushy in there too. The way her and Faith have been looking at each other since they got back... I'm thinking all their heads went a bit mushy.

Looking at these words for the thousandth time is making `my' head ready to explode. And maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing... really. I mean, Tara could do the spell, and I could be headless... a fair compromise...? I must speak to Buffy about it.

I look at the words again and they seem so simple. Already they're burned into my memory, but I have to keep looking, to keep checking. Because I'm scared. I'm scared I can't do this... and if I can't?

Well , if I can't then all my friends... Tara... they would all die. The world would end too, so really... no pressure. Oh no... just a simple little spell.

I feel Tara's presence as she closes in on our room. It calms me, soothes me, reminds me I'm not alone in this.

"Hey sweetie, how's the books?"

I give them the kind of look that they deserve, I do not like these books and I wish it wasn't me that had to read them.

"I don't like them Tara... if they weren't so obviously `for the good' I'd have to go with `they're evil'!"

She smiles at me in a way that makes me forget that evil exists.

"You know it's not about the books right Willow?"

"It's not...? Cos what with the reading them for the last three hours straight... I was beginning to think that it was `all' about the books."

She leans forward and closes the page I was studying. Her hand lingers on my hand, her fingers tracing a relaxing pattern across my skin, her words reaching out to cocoon me in a web of comfort. It's hard to feel scared with Tara here. It's hard to feel anything but love.

"It's not about the books... because it's about you...."

"I'd rather it was the books..."

"Shhhh... I'm trying to tell you something here."

The look she gives me isn't reproachful... it's understanding. She `knows' me. She knows how I'm feeling and she knows why. I didn't just hurt myself when I lost control of the magics, I hurt a lot of people, Tara is the one that I regret the most, that I spend my days thinking about. I would give anything to take back that time, to do it different... but I can't. And the pain is still there.

She knows all of that... so she understands. This kind of magic is dangerous to me... because it's all about power. Who has it... who uses it... who wants it. I used to want it. Now I don't.

"You can do this baby. Never in my life have I been surer of anything, I know how strong you are... how brave you are... and I know I will be there with you... and nothing, absolutely nothing, will happen to you while I am there with you. Ok?"

Did I ever mention how beautiful she is?

"Ok... but..."

She silences my `but' with a kiss... lips reaching forward to close over mine. A soft kiss, a delicate kiss... a kiss that demands nothing.

But I want more then nothing. I want something to hang on to.

It's me that pushes for entrance to her mouth. Running my tongue gently along her lips, looking for a distraction from the end of the world. We stand together and I lose my hands in her hair... pulling her closer to me, my grip becoming firmer as the distraction becomes greater, my desire to be lost in this woman overriding any need to learn words and sounds... to worry about plans.

A moment longer of the kiss... and I forget that anything else exists. Because it doesn't feel like it does. Just her and me and us and now. Making our own music to end the world to.

I take my time as I remove her clothes... each touch of my hand, followed by the touch of my lips, I want to map every part of her, re learn every curve, claim all of her flesh. She lets me take her completely... no words of `should we be doing this'... or `what about the plan'.

Because she `knows' me. And she knows I need this.

When I've traced my tongue across every inch of naked flesh, I am ready, ready to be inside of her, to love her... to be at one with her... and that's when she stops me.

"Baby... Willow... stop... wait...Ohhh"

"Huh...?"

"Oh goddess... I want..."

I run my fingers across her clit as she tries to speak, I want her so bad, and it's fun to watch her squirm, to fight so hard to pull away from what her body is desiring.

"What do you want Tara... you want me to stop...?"

My hand is coated in her wetness, and no matter what she says, I `know' she doesn't want me to stop... so I won't. I dip my finger just inside the entrance to her hole, teasing her with the knowledge that I might go on, and I might not... I might push hard and take her just like that... or I might torment her for ever, always close, yet always so far...

"Wait... please, baby... I... I need..."

I slow my hand to a virtual stand still, not breaking contact, but giving her the time she needs... the time to tell me what she wants...

"Tell me Tara... tell me what you need."

Her eyes refocus as they seek out mine, and I know what it is she is asking. Because I `know' her.

I stand from the bed and begin removing my clothes, goose bumps appearing as the cool night air reaches out to caress me, the look that I'm getting off Tara is scorching me though, and it's impossible not to feel anything other then warmth.

My clothes I discard without a second thought. Thrown across the books which had been driving me to the edges of crazy... the magic in them nothing, compared to the magic that already lives in this room.

Tara moans softly as I lay my body across hers, seeking the most contact, the most points of pleasure, starting a slow grinding rhythm as I ache to make our bodies become one. The intensity of the touch matched only by the intensity of our stare.

"Is this what you wanted baby... what you need?"

She doesn't answer because I'm kissing her. Making love to her with my mouth, each kiss a reminder that this could be the last time. That tomorrow the world could end.

If I fail. If I am not enough. If I give my best and am found wanting... then this, all of this, will be over.

And that thought pushes me on. Fuels my desire.

It feels so good and it's not enough. I want to be inside of her, touching her at her deepest and I need her to touch me too.

I never break the kiss as my hand begins a descent down her body, hers is a mirror image, reaching out for me, with me, finding my centre as I find hers. And now I remember why I am alive, why I have to save the world, why I will be strong enough, good enough, why I won't be found wanting. Because she is the answer.

We ride each others hands as our fingers thrust ever deeper, I can feel her touching my soul, and I never want it to end. I want to hover here in this existence, between life and death, flirting with ecstasy... inviting it in, without taking the final steps to release to it... everything suspended except `this'. This moment.

Our breathing is hard and heavy as our bodies fight to keep up with our senses, the moans we create urging each other to more, pushing us to the point where holding back is no longer an option.

And I need to tell her.

"Tara... baby..."

Her eyes are glazed as they seek out mine, darkened with lust, shining with love.

"Willow..."

"Goddess I love... you... I love you Tara... I love you..."

And I can't stop. Each word repeated again and again as I give over everything I am to her. It feels like I am deeper then I've ever been, filling her completely, possessing her wholly...

And she screams. And I scream. And I never want to leave the safety of that sound.

I won't leave the safety of her body. Even as our breathing becomes soft again, and our hearts seek a rhythm that doesn't pound the blood in our ears, I will not leave her. I can not leave her. She is so tight around my fingers, clutching me, keeping me safe. And I'm scared to leave.

Because this could be the last time.

The world doesn't care about love. Wars were never ended, apocalypses never failed through an act love.

It all comes down to power. Who has it, who wants it, who uses it.

And so I have to leave her. Scared or not, it doesn't matter. Because she believes I have the power... and if she believes it, so shall I.

She is silent as I leave the bed and remove the clothes from where they fell on the books. I make to sit back down, not worrying to cover myself, just intent on getting back to what I have to do.

"Baby...?"

I cant help but smile at the sound of her voice, all sated and heavy from the making of love.

"What is it Tara?"

"Come back to bed?... I want to hold you."

And no matter how much she hides it, I hear that she is scared to. Because it's not just my world that could end tomorrow, it's her world too.

"I just gotta finish with the books, ok?"

She scrunches her nose and shakes her head.

"No?"

"No... I told you. It's not about the books, it's about you, and you can do it. Now come here, I need you, I need snuggles."

And that's enough for me. I may be many things, but I am not the kinda girl to deny snuggles to a sexy, just been made love to, hotter then hot goddess. Nope. No way.

With her arms wrapped around me I make pretences towards falling asleep. I can't though.

Because even here... lying in her arms... I feel as though the weight of the world is pressing firmly on my shoulders.And all that I can do, is hope that I am strong enough to bear it.

Buffy's Pov

I can not believe that I am facing yet another apocalypse. Well I can believe it, it happens to me a lot. But I'm not too happy about it.

The swiftness with which I've ordered the attack has got everyone jumpy, and I can understand that. But this is the only way. We have the advantage of surprise, and I plan to use all my advantages.

We also have the advantage of one super strong witch. I never would have guessed, that last year, when Willow was in the throes of black magic addiction, she would be the one who would have to save the world. With magic. I guess it's funny how things turn out.

She is scared. I know that. The look she got as I was telling her what she would have to do. The magic that she would have to use. I've rarely seen such fear. But she is strong, and I believe in her.

I sent Tara to her. I know that the one thing that can pull that girl through, is Tara.

And I bet she's just going crazy with the `pulling her through' right now. Lucky, lucky Willow.

I'm yearning for Faith.

I wonder if she is scared right now. Scared like I am.

I wish that she would come to me and hold me in her arms. I'm sure I wouldn't be scared then. I'm sure I wouldn't care then.

But she won't come, and she won't hold me in her arms, and I just have to be here. Alone.

Today, when we almost kissed, when our lips barely touched, I saw in that instant, everything that she could be to me. Exactly how our hearts could fit next to each other, love each other.

And so I'm yearning.

It's funny. If I could have one wish now, just one thank you gift from the `power's that be', I wouldn't wish that Faith was here holding me. Nope.

I would wish to take back every single little fucked up thing that has ever happened between us. Because if I could do that, if that was possible, then I know that she `would' be here, and I would be in her arms, and I would be in her heart. And I would be the only thing there. There wouldn't be the pain, and the hurt, and the fear that lives there now.

So that would be my wish. Anyone listening?

I know that she is close to letting me in. I can feel it. But the thing is... well the thing is, that I need her now. I can't wait for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, because I might not have a tomorrow. `We' might not have a tomorrow.

I want to go to her. I want to find her and hold her, and keep holding her until she holds me back. But I can't. This has to be her decision. I would never trust it if it wasn't her decision.

I want her to say she loves me. I want to know that everything I'm feeling, she feels it too. I can't be with her unless I know that. I need to know that she loves me.

I am almost angry at myself for feeling like that. Needing her love. If I could just want her sex, well then I know that she would be here, and I would be in her arms. But I do need her love, and that's why I'm alone.

The potentials are all going crazy downstairs. They're scared of the battle, yet they're longing for the power. I'm not sure if some of them are ready for the power, but I never was, and I didn't get asked either.

I imagine that Faith is with them. Making them feel better. Encouraging them. Believing in them. I envy them.

I know that I should be there too. But I have nothing left to offer. I have given the last rousing speech that I ever hope to give. And now I'm tired. It's all the fighting. It gets to you after a while.

Come the morning I'll be ready again. Ready to face The First and it's army. I'd feel a lot more ready if I didn't have such vivid memories of my dream. But I do, and I remember that army. It's big.

I wish that sleep would come to me. But I don't get my wishes. Remember?

Faith's Pov

I am just itching for a fight. All that juice from earlier, man, it's got me crazy. I can't wait for tomorrow. We are so gonna kick some dead ass. And some First ass.

The potentials are all spazzing out. I'm just watching them, getting my kicks. Throwing in the odd comment to keep the old spazz flowing. Kennedy is the funniest. She is trying to act so cool, all ready for the power... but I can see, she's about ready to piss her pants. Reminds me of me, when I got the call.

I'm worried about her going into the fight with her back, she says she's fine, but I can see it still hurts. I just hope the slayer deal kicks in nice and quick, that'll get her feeling much better... well and truly buzzed I'd say. Rona's good for the fight too, at least they can watch each others backs.

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.

Somehow that's where the mind keeps wandering. I keep remembering the way she looked earlier, fighting them vamps, making me hot. And then the... what? Kiss? It was barely a touch of lips. The moonlit bit was cool, I knew that the hole was for the moonlight! But the touch of lips. Intense. Almost more then the kiss I stole. Definitely more.

I want to go to her. To give her everything she needs. But I can't. I still don't know if I'm ready to do that. To give that. I keep trying with the `listening to the heart thing', but it's all new. And right now? Right now my groin is trying it's hardest to drown out anything.

I am so horny.

I thought about training, beating a few of the potentials while I've still got the advantage, but I know I'd just end up more juiced. And then what? A quick one handed release whilst hiding out in the bathroom? Not likely... the queues for the bathroom would just be too comical. It's hard enough finding the time to take a crap.

I cant keep my focus on anything. Maybe I'm the one spazzing out. I'm just itching for some action. Something. I'm tapping out a rhythm on the kitchen side, I don't think it's tuneful, I just need to move my hands.

"Could you be anymore obvious."

Someone talking to me?

"Huh?"

"With the tapping, and the eyes... and the complete lack of attention."

"What ya talking `bout Ken?"

I could really do without the chat right now, I wonder if Giles would let me out to slay?

"You... You're horny ain't ya?"

Is it printed on my head or something?

"You offering Ken?"

"Just observing."

"What, I'm a fucking circus attraction now?"

"Calm down Faith... I'm just playing with ya."

"I'm not in the mood to play."

Maybe I could go dancing. I won't even tell Giles, I'll just sneak off.

"Geez, sorry."

Kennedy looks all chastised now. Looks good on her. But I guess I shouldn't really take my frustrations out on her.

"Don't worry about it Ken... I'm just a bit... uh, wound up?"

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it."

"Ok, so I'm fucking wound up... any suggestions?"

"Get laid!"

I have to laugh out loud at that one. She is so on my wave length.

"Easier said then done."

"Doesn't have to be... I bet there's plenty of girls out there, just dying to get it on with a dark haired specimen as hot as yourself."

"Goes without saying, but I'm trying to..."

What? What am I trying to do?

"...I'm trying to listen to my heart."

"And your heart isn't horny?"

"Do hearts get horny...? Red never told me that."

She just smiling at me like I'm a goof. I was only asking.

"You fancy sparring Ken?"

"With you... like this? No chance. I wanna be alive for tomorrow... I think."

Damn! I know I said I wouldn't train, but I need something.

"You got any smokes?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why do ya think? Can I bum one?"

She's looking at me like she's my mother... not an attractive look.

"Faith... you quit."

"So now I'm starting again. Ok?"

"No. Chew some gum."

She is fucking kidding me! I am going crazy and she tells me to chew gum.

"Please tell me that's a joke Ken... for your sake tell me it's a joke."

And there's the ciggie's.

"Thanks."

I head out the kitchen, and make for the garden. I find myself under B's window. Smoking my cigarette.

I can make her out, pacing back and forth. I wonder what's on her mind.

I can feel her. She's only just above me after all. She stops in front of the window, and I see her bending over. She's pulling back the curtain and opening the window.

"Faith?"

"Hey, B."

"What ya doing?"

"Smoking."

"Thought ya quit."

"I quit quitting."

She's just looking at me, almost like she wants to say something.

"You alright, B?"

"Just thinking about tomorrow. Big day."

"Just another day at the office."

"So why are you smoking?"

Do I really want to answer that? Because I'm tempted. Tempted to tell her just how worked up I am. Just how much I want her. Right now. Looking up at her, framed by her window, looking kinda vulnerable, I want her.

"Had a craving B, you know what that's like?"

And she's looking like she wants to say something again.

"Are you scared?"

Okay, so that wasn't what I was expecting.

"No. You?"

As she nods her head, she looks even more vulnerable.

"Why ya scared B? We are so kicking ass tomorrow, you've gotta know that."

"I do. Kind of. But I don't know... I just feel, I feel like I've got too much to lose, and I don't wanna lose it. I couldn't bare to lose it."

"B... Buffy, we are not gonna lose. You have my word, ok?"

I give her scouts honour, I was never in the scouts, but the sentiments the same.

Her eyes are looking into mine, maybe she's looking to see that she can trust my words. Whatever it is, I don't care. Those eyes that I never let myself get lost in? Well I'm lost.

In the dark I can still see them shining. And I am like the rabbit caught in the headlights, cos I can not move. I don't want to move, unless it's to go to her. I want her.

The cigarette burning down to my fingers releases me from her spell. I shake my head to try and order my thoughts, but it's a hard ask.

I wish I could just love her. Forget everything, except loving her.

But I can't, and that makes me a little bit angry. Angry at myself for being so fucked up, so scared to accept what is being offered.

"Faith?"

She's calling to me again.

"Yeah B?."

"If you could have just one wish... what would it be?"

What kind of a question is that? Just one wish?

What do I say? There is so much I could say.

"You first."

I wonder if she will answer. I wonder what she will say.

She's looking at me again. Her eyes seeking mine. I give them to her.

"If I could have just one wish Faith... just one, then I'd wish that everything that happened, never happened. That we... me and you, had never got so fucked up, that everything hadn't gone so fucking wrong... cos now... more then anything... I need you..."

Her voice is cracking as she speaks, and it's the hardest thing in the world not to go to her.

"... I need you to hold me, to tell me it's all ok, that nothing can beat us... I need you to love me Faith... and so that's what I wish... I wish that I was in your arms, and that we had never hurt each other... That we just loved each other."

WOW.

HOLY FUCKING WOW!

If I said I was speechless, I would be telling the truth. I don't think I've ever heard anything as beautiful as that my whole life.

"Your turn."

Oh shit! She's expecting an answer.

I don't know what to say. I don't how to say it. I give voice to the only clear thought that I'm having right now.

"One wish... right now... I'd be kissing you. And nothing else would matter, cos I would be kissing you."

I know that wasn't as grand as hers, maybe not as nicely put, but it means the same. Because I wish, more then anything, that we could just love each other.

"I like that wish."

"You do?"

"Most definitely."

Cool. I like that she likes my wish.

"Faith?"

"Yes B?"

"You wanna come up?"

Hell Yeah!

Whoa... calm down. Do not listen to the groin!

"Uh... you want me to come up there... to your room?"

"Yes."

My god I am scared. I have never been so nervous at the thought of going to someone's room.

"Now?"

"That was kinda the idea, Faith?"

"What for?"

Oh my god, how fucking dense did that sound? I want the ground to open up now.

"Well, I was enjoying your company... but this..."

She indicates the window and me below.

"... this is just a bit too 'Shakespeare', for me."

She has a point.

"Ya don't wanna be my Juliet?"

I make her smile, and that makes me smile.

"So... you coming up?"

What to do, what to do.

I want to. Of course I want to. But the ramifications are still there, and my reasons are still the same. I still don't think I'm ready to just let go.

But how can I not go to her? My heart is beating, and even if I'm not ready to speak it's words, they are still there, and I can still hear them.

"You want me to bring anything?"

She's studying me intently, and I feel naked under her gaze.

"No Faith... just you."

Just me. I think I can do that.

"I'll be right in."

I walk back round to the door, and I practice my cool swagger. Anything to hide the fact I'm nervous as hell. And excited as fuck.

Kennedy gives me an odd look as I pass her.

"Long smoke Faith... thought you'd got lost."

"I did."

"Huh?"

"Nothing... shouldn't you guys be getting some rest? Long day tomorrow."

Look at me, all responsible.

"Plenty of time to rest when I'm dead, Faith."

I shoot her a smile. I like that girl. A lot.

I take the stairs slowly. I don't wanna fall, and as nervous as I am, it's a possibility.

I get to her door, and I stop. I place my hand to the wood and I can feel her just on the other side. Waiting for me.

Should I knock? Or just go in?

She makes the decision for me by opening her door.

"Faith."

"Hey there... can I come in?"

Dumb question. She invited me here, she's hardly not gonna let me in.

She stands aside, opening the door wider.

And here I am, in the middle of the night, before the end of the world, standing in Buffy Summer's bedroom.

So who's gonna shout the loudest...?

Will it be my heart?... or will it be my groin?

Buffy's Pov

So here it is. The middle of the night, before the end of the world, and Faith is standing in my bedroom. And I am so damn nervous.

I want to run. To her and from her.

The space seems so much less with her in the room, and the air seems so much heavier.

We haven't spoken yet. Just standing, regarding each other, her eyes changing between darting round the room, flitting from object to object, and locking into my eyes. I like it best when she's locked in. I can see her then.

All the flitting though, that is making me nervous, and the rhythm that her fingers are tapping out on her crossed arms... tap, tap, tap... I can't keep my eyes away, I feel like it's trying to tell me something... but I don't understand the beat.

Our eyes meet again and I feel like I'm caught in a predators glare. I can feel her `look' searing me, and it gets me so damn excited. I want to return her look with heat of my own, but I'm trying to remember that this isn't about the heat.

Maybe I should tell her that?

Faith's Pov

I'm keeping my arms crossed to stop from grabbing her. Because I want to grab her. I want to grab her, and kiss her, and taste her, and lick her, and suck her, and fuck her, and... ARGHHHHHHH!

So I'm keeping my arms crossed.

She's watching my fingers, tapping on my arms, my arms that are crossed, and I want to tell her what they say. The beat that they keep, cos the tune that they're making is all about her.

`Tap, tap, tap... I, want, you...' over and over and over and over.

I look into her eyes again, and I want to consume her. I knew my groin would shout the loudest, it always does.

She looks like she's about to speak, and I concentrate on straining my ears... it's gonna take all my 'special senses' to hear her over the roaring of my blood.

"You wanna sit down?"

Ask me where I want to sit, B.

"Yeah, sure."

But I don't make any move to sit, because there's only the bed, and I want to follow her lead.

She sits herself down at the pillow end, crossing her legs and leaning back against the headboard. So where do I sit? Opposite her, next to her... on top of her?

Her eyes are questioning me, maybe wondering why I'm taking so long to join her there. So I make my move. I make it slowly, because everything in me is telling me to rush.

I take off my boots and I choose opposite. I don't trust myself to sit next to her, and sitting on top of her... I don't think she meant that.

I am so tense. Half of me wants to be back in the garden, under the window, smoking a cigarette. But I'm not, I'm here, on the bed, and I'm tense as hell.

Buffy's Pov

I watch her as she makes for the bed. I didn't indicate where she should sit, and so I'm wondering where she will choose. Part of me wants her to choose next to me, but I'm not sure I trust myself to be that close. Part of me still wants it though, and I try not to show disappointment when she chooses opposite.

She stretches her arms up as she sits down, like she's trying to work kinks from her neck, her shoulders, maybe all over. She looks tense. I want to offer to work those kinks out for her. But I won't.

I `will' let my gaze wander over her navel though, because with her arms raised above her head, it is all that I can focus on. So toned, so taut, so begging to be kissed.

I want to start a conversation, anything to lighten the atmosphere which is undeniably thick with...? With something. But I can't because my mouth is so dry. And I wish I had asked her to bring a glass of water with her. But I didn't.

She's licking her lips. Slowly. Running her tongue in a torturous circle, across the top, across the bottom, leaving the faintest trail of saliva in it's wake. I wonder if her saliva could quench my thirst. I want it to.

Her gaze is penetrating me, entering me, and I know that I am gonna have to be the one to break this... this what? I don't know. But if I don't break it, then I know that within minutes, maybe less, I will be kissing her.

"So... you're really pretty confident about tomorrow then, huh?"

That's it Buffy, talk about work... always a good start, and I'm sure she came here to talk shop, oh yeah... the look in her eyes... she's all about the work.

"Tomorrow?"

So maybe she wasn't thinking about work.

"Big fight... end of the world. Me slayer, you slayer... ring any bells?"

"I wasn't thinking about that, B."

Ok. Now what?

"No, I guess that's uh... not really important, right?... cos, with the vamps, and The First... and uh..."

What the fuck am I talking about?

"... so, what `are' you thinking about?"

Faith's Pov

Please do not tell me that after our `chat' just now, she wants to make `this' about work. This so isn't about work.

"... so, what `are' you thinking about?"

I am thinking about how good it would be, right now, to lean over and tuck that little bit of hair behind your ear, to slide my hand around the back of your neck, to bring my lips to yours and kiss you. That ok?

She's waiting for an answer.

"You, B. I am thinking about you."

Straight, honest, direct...? Has someone hidden the real me?

"Oh. And, uh... what are ya thinking about me?"

There are so many ways I could answer that question. The way her voice sounded so small though? I'm thinking I better go with the toned down version.

"Just the craziness of everything. You, me, here, now. Ya can't tell me it's not just a little bit crazy?"

"I think it's a lot crazy... but good crazy."

She's smiling at me, so I smile back.

If I wasn't holding my body so tense, it would be on hers now. I would be covering her, and she would be feeling me pressing into her, grinding into her. But I'm keeping my body tense.

"I like that... `good crazy', sure beats the hell out of `bad crazy'."

"Sure does."

Silence is here again, save for the tapping. She leans back, and closes her eyes. Maybe she is listening to the beat.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

She hasn't opened her eyes, and I'm not sure what she means.

"Doing what? I'm not doing anything."

"Tapping."

Oh that. She 'was' listening to the beat. Now she wants to understand it.

"It's helping keep my head straight B, something to concentrate on ya know?"

Other then the thoughts of you. Because I'm having lots of them B. And I'm trying, I am trying so fucking hard, not to be thinking them thoughts.

"It's kind of soothing."

"It is?"

She's opened her eyes again now, and she's fixing me with that look. The one that holds me prisoner.

"Yeah. It's giving `me' something to concentrate on."

Maybe she's having thoughts too.

"I'm glad to help."

"I'm glad you're helping."

She smiles at me again. So I smile back.

I want to kiss her. I want it so bad I can taste it. I want it so bad that it's my `just one wish'.

"B?"

"Yes Faith?"

"I want to kiss you."

And there. I said it.

Buffy's Pov

She wants to kiss me. She said she wants to kiss me.

And I want her to.

"It's not like you, to ask for permission, Faith."

"Maybe it's a new thing I'm trying."

"Why do you want to kiss me?"

Oh god, can I not keep my mouth shut?

Hi, my name's Buffy, and I have to analyse every single fucking little thing that is said to me.

She's looking at me, she's looking at my lips, and her tapping is increasing, the tempo building. She looks about ready to pounce.

"I want to kiss you B, because right now?... right now, I `need' to kiss you."

And she's telling the truth. I can see it. On every single part of her. She `needs' to kiss me.

I can only whisper my response, because I'm lost in the moment.

"Ok."

And then she is moving towards me and my heart stops. Time stops as well. I see the want growing in her eyes as she gets ever closer. The tapping has ceased, and there is something monumental in the silence that encloses us.

Her hands go to rest on the bed in front of her, as she leans in the final few inches. The inches between her lips and my lips.

And then they are there. Hovering in the instant, exactly like the last time, touching, but not touching, revelling in the anticipation. It is me that pushes it towards it's destination. Me that can't wait any longer.

Her lips are so soft, so inviting, that I can't believe I have waited this long to possess them. To make them `mine'. But now they are `mine', and I love them.

After just a second, we break off. She leans back, and she is smiling. And my heart starts again. Racing so fast, pumping my blood so ferociously through my veins.

I feel like the cat that got the cream, and there is no way she is getting off that easy.

Faith's Pov

Oh fuck. That was fucking beautiful.

That was worth waiting for. Definitely worth waiting for. I am so glad I asked that time, because knowing... knowing that she wanted it, just as much as me...that's what made it beautiful.

I had to stop , because even just that introduction to a kiss, it's enough to make me crazy with wanting. And I don't trust myself not to just fuck her. And I don't want to just fuck her.

She's leaning forward towards me now though, and I fear for her safety.

I am so horny.

Her mouth is so hot, pushing against mine, urging me to join her, and I can't say no. She grabs at the back of my head, forcing me on to her, crushing her lips against mine. And I am fucking losing it.

My tongue takes over, demanding entry, and we duel, both fighting for control, straining for dominance. I push her back down on the bed with the force of the kiss, and I am in control. Yet I am so fucking out of control.

The groan that leaves her mouth into mine, as my body slides against hers, is music to my ears, and I want to hear it again. I need to hear it again. I'm grinding into her, showing her how I want her, letting her know I want more then this kiss. I `need' more then this kiss.

She's devouring my mouth, as much as my mind is devouring her body, it's driving me wild, and I know I won't be able to stop, and my heart is beating, so loud, so fast... and I have to stop now, because if I don't?... if I don't I'm gonna fuck Buffy Summers, right here, right now, on this bed, and fuck the consequences.

I almost jump back as I pull away. I need the space, the space to breathe.

I come to rest straddling her, just looking down at her, the way her chest is heaving, her face all flushed.

My god, what the fuck is this?

I `need' to kiss her again.

But I `want' so much more.

Buffy's Pov

I think I just lost control, cos right then... if Faith hadn't stopped. I wouldn't have stopped her. But she did stop, and so I'm here, underneath her, wondering what the heck to do now. My whole body feels alive from the contact, and I think I might cry if she doesn't kiss me again.

She's looking at me like she's is going to eat me, and I really, `really', want her to. I want her mouth on my most secret of places, tasting me... loving me. I can feel myself getting so wet, and I just want to feel her touch. Just one touch.

"Faith...?"

I can't believe I managed to speak.

"Yes?"

Oh god, her voice is so husky. Scratching it's way from her throat, straining to be heard.

"I `need' you..."

And I do. Every single part, of every single piece of me, needs her right now. I need her to love me.

She leans forward and runs her fingertips down the insides of my arms, travelling slowly to my wrists.

"Tell me how you need me, B..."

Her words sound so intense.

She encircles my wrists with her hands and brings them up above my head. Leaning forward against me, pushing her hips against mine in a slow rhythm of delightful friction. Her face is so close to mine, I can feel her breath grazing my lips.

"... do you need me like this?...

"

She increases the pressure, my clit throbbing from the contact, even through our clothes, begging for something more... desperate for something more.

"... or like this?..."

Then her mouth is on my neck, her tongue tracing a line to my ear, flicking gently against my skin, nipping softly at my flesh... and then in an instant it's hard, she's almost biting me, marking me, demanding me, and I have to cry out...

"Oh god... Faith... yes..."

Her words find my ears, whispered, urgent...

"Tell me how you need me, B... tell me what you want..."

I want this. God I want this.

And I want love.

"Love me Faith... I want you to love me..."

Faith's Pov

I do love you, Buffy.

I `get' that now, I really do. But am I ready?

I ease the pressure I've been grinding into her. I don't leave her though, I'm not `that' strong. But I do ease up. Faith, the `get some, get gone' girl, is easing up.

"B... we need to talk... we have to talk..."

But I don't wanna talk. Especially when she's raising her hips, seeking our earlier rhythm, demanding our earlier contact.

"B?... Please..."

Her eyes are shining with lust as she looks up at me.

"Don't wanna..."

She's killing me. Slowly, deliciously, killing me.

"We have to...ok?"

I sit myself back up now, I have to give myself a fighting chance.

She looks almost pissed. Buffy pissed at me... Hmmmm, is so not helping calm my excitement. And neither is that slightest of pouts, just a hint of bottom lip.

And fuck talking, cos I want that.

In a second I have it. Between my teeth, just pulling gently, the smallest amount of pain, to make the pleasure taste sweeter.

I know I must be confusing her, cos I'm confusing the shit out of myself.

This is oh so good, beyond good, beyond anything... but I cant just fuck her. I wont just fuck her.

Again I pull back, and I'm gonna keep my eyes shut this time, because I'm weak. Really fucking weak.

"B...?"

"Look at me Faith."

Oh no. No fucking way.

"I can't, cos we gotta stop `this' right now, and if I look at you... that's it."

She's moving underneath me, pulling herself out from under me, and it's everything I have not to groan out loud, not to force her to stay.

"Faith... look at me?"

I feel safer now she's not where she was. I open my eyes, and we both sit back. Facing each other. Opposite each other.

Her eyes are on fire, burning for me.

"B... we gotta slow it down, ok?"

I am officially still psycho.

"I don't want to."

"Yes you do."

"Believe me Faith... `slowing it down' and `what I want', they don't have a whole lot in common right now."

"You want me to love you, B."

"So tell me you love me."

Oh for life to be that fucking simple.

"I don't think I can."

She looks hurt. And this is what I meant. Love is fucked up. It hurts.

"Then tell me you don't love me."

She's a smart girl.

"I can't do that, B."

And she smiles a little, and I think it might be ok still.

"I can't believe you stopped. I could never have stopped. I want you Faith."

"You don't think I want you B? I've never wanted anything more, and that's why I had to stop. Because you want more, and I want to give you more, and if I do this now, before I'm ready... then it won't be more. It'll be a fuck..."

I run my eyes across the body I just came so close to possessing...

"... undoubtedly a `great' fuck, but just a fuck... and your too much to me B, to ever be just that now."

She's not saying anything, she looks like she's choosing her words carefully.

"I love you, Faith."

Well chosen.

Buffy's Pov

She doesn't have to say it, because I know it. I was made to love her, and she was made to love me.

I'm crazy frustrated. AAARRRGGGHHH, frustrated. But her words make it worth it.

"B...?"

I look at the only woman I've ever loved like this, the only woman I've ever wanted like this, and I swear I am back in heaven. Only it's better, like it had an upgrade in my absence. And they've made some great improvements.

"Uh-huh?"

"Ya know I'm gonna say it right. Not right now, cos I'm not ready, but soon, I'm gonna say it, and I'm gonna mean it... and we will just `love each other'. I promise, ok?"

Damn right, that's ok.

"You take all the time in the world, Faith, cos I am not going `anywhere'."

I said the right thing. I can tell by her smile.

"...Well, maybe not `all' the time in the world... cos that there..."

I give her a look that guarantees she knows I mean the heavy make out session. My god, I made out, how old am I?

"... that was fucking hot, and I am so not willing to wait forever for that."

"I knew ya just wanted in my pants, B."

"They're nice pants."

"You want me to take them off?"

She's wiggling her eyebrow, and I might kill her for teasing me.

"I'll settle for a kiss."

I give her a challenging look. She wants to tease, lets see how far she's willing to go. Cos I cant lose this one, can I?

"You sure that's wise, B?"

"One little kiss, Faith... just one hot, and wet, and horny little kiss... you can manage that... right?"

I am evil. I am the evil slayer. Can I laugh at that, or will it kill the mood?

"I... uh... oh fuck it!"

And we're kissing again. But she is setting the pace. And it's gentle, and sweet, and soft... and perfect.

"That ok, B?"

"Uh-huh."

I scoot round the bed, so that now I'm next to her. I trust myself now, and I trust her.

She looks relaxed, not so tense, calm.

"You wanna try and get some sleep B?"

That would be nice. Not as nice as my whole `Faith eating me' fantasy. But nice.

"Will you stay."

"Of course."

We don't change for bed. We just stay in our clothes. We do make our way up to the pillow end though, cos ya can't beat pillowy goodness.

She's resting up against the headboard a bit, and I lay my head across her navel. Her beautiful, taut and toned navel, that I want to kiss.

As I close my eyes, my last act is to purse my lips, and ever so gently, lay a kiss upon her body.

Absolutely Perfect.

Faith's Pov

I am just holding her. She is sleeping peacefully. Peacefully asleep.

I have never been this happy. I am going to love this girl. I can feel it.

I listen to her heart beat, and I listen to mine. I 'do' love this girl. I can hear it.I guess my groin doesn't shout the loudest after all.

Buffy's Pov

I rise early. There is a part of me, deep inside, that can not forget about this battle. As much as sleeping across Faith's navel was as close to heaven as I've been in a while, I still couldn't shake the images of hell. The images of the fight. So I'm up, and I'm going to the kitchen, and I'm gonna get coffee. One for me and one for Faith.

It makes me kinda giddy to think that I'm bringing Faith coffee in bed. My bed.

Anyone mind If I do a dance?

Last night was...? There are not words for what last night was.

When I told her my wish... and then she told me hers. I just had to ask her to my room. I didn't think about it. I just knew it. And she looked so nervous, and that was too `cute', and boy, did I want her!

And the memory of her lips on my lips, her body on my body, I still want her. Knowing that I have to wait... and at the same time knowing that I could be in a fight till the death today... it makes me not too keen on the waiting. So not keen. But she wants to be sure, not to rush, not to make mistakes... so who reversed our roles?

I walk to the kitchen, and there is Willow. I swear I'm thinking of getting her a bed in here... how is she always first up? It's still practically night, but already she is up.

"Hey Wills... can't sleep?"

She looks up as if I disturbed her from some very deep thinking.

"Just the little issue of saving the world keeping me awake, the thoughts of death and impending doom, everyone counting on me... does it get any easier?"

"After the third or fourth time...? Barely an acidy tummy."

"Right."

I don't think she believes me. Good thing. It `never' gets easier. When the world depends on you... that never goes away.

She gets up from her pensive thinking, makes her way to the coffee.

"You want one?"

"Make it two."

"Two coffees?...you need that extra caffeine buzz for the big day, huh?"

Shall I tell her? Because I should tell her, because she is my friend... and we tell each other stuff...

"Uh... nope, no extra buzzing needed here!... I just thought I'd take one to Faith."

"That's nice, Buff... but ya know she might not be up yet, she usually doesn't show till I start the pancakes... are you sure ya `really' wanna wake her up?"

I think about all the ways I could wake her.

"I don't think she'll mind, Wills."

"Well you're braver then me... hey, maybe `you' should do the spell thing today?"

"I don't speak Latin."

"I made a translation."

"I've gotta lead the girls Will... slayer stuff, remember?"

"And I thought we were friends!"

"Willow... you'll be fine. Better then fine. You'll be the best."

She will be.

"Fingers crossed."

I hold up my crossed fingers too, and the laugh lightens the atmosphere again.

"So where is Faith anyway...? Cos I don't think she's on the sofa... is she sleeping in Kennedy's room again...? Cos I thought, what with Kennedy and Rona, well I thought sleePovers were, uh... over... unless they all...NO! They wouldn't do `that'... or Faith might..., maybe... where's Faith, Buff?"

What?

Kennedy and Rona...? Since when? And Faith and Kennedy `and' Rona... surely not.

"Kennedy and Rona?"

"She's with Kennedy and Rona? My god... she is a..., what is she Buffy?"

"NO!... I mean she isn't with Kennedy and Rona... but how long have, they uh...? Kennedy's with Rona?"

This is all too weird. And why doesn't anyone tell me `anything'?

"Kinda. I think. They give each other the looks... all coy, and secretive... little touches when they think no one's watching... I thought everyone knew."

"No one told me!"

And you think they would've. What with me going `crazy' with jealousy, over Faith and Kennedy. Am I always so out of the loop?

"Well I don't think it's official."

"Do you get s sticker when it is?"

"What?"

"An `official' sticker?"

She's looking at me, and the coffee she's pouring... like maybe I don't need the extra caffeine rush, maybe I'm already a little... odd.

"Nope. No stickers Buffy."

So what's the benefit in making it official then?

"There's no more need for clandestine groping."

"Huh?"

I `definitely' didn't say that out loud.

"The benefits."

Can `everyone' read my mind? Am I but a `leaking sponge'?

"Willow... please don't tell me you just read my mind?"

"No mind reading... just face reading. You're obvious."

Oh. That's ok then.

"So where is Faith... cos the coffee's done, and you might have to find her."

"She's uh... she's in my room."

Willow. Please. Take your eyebrows off of the ceiling.

"In your room... as in... `in' your room?"

"Well in my bed actually... but my bed's in the room, so yeah, in my room."

"`In' your bed!"

"Yeah?"

She's gonna lose it.

"OH MY..."

"Will!... voice... down!"

"But Faith... and you... in `your' bed...?"

"Yes. Well no... not like that. But `yes' to the bed. And the her in it."

"Wow."

My god, I silenced her. I `should' get a sticker for that!

Nope... wait, she's gonna speak again...

"So you didn't eat the gateaux?"

"No Wills... I may have tasted the cream... but I didn't eat the gateaux."

She looks slightly bewildered... I wanted to Wills, believe me, I wanted to.

"I don't get it..."

"What?"

"Surely if you uh... `tasted the cream'... you ate the gateaux?"

"What...? Wait, NO!... I didn't uh... taste `that' cream... I meant we kissed."

"Ohhhhh. Cos I thought you meant..."

"I got it Wills, but nope. Just kissing."

I can see her mulling this over. Wondering if `just kissing' is a feasible reality. Hard to believe with Faith in the mix.

"You sure it was `just kissing'?"

"Well... maybe a bit of... writhing... with clothes on!"

"Ahhhhh. Dry humping... how I remember it well..."

I think of Wills and Tara dry humping... I can't imagine it. It seems that everything they do should be `beautiful' and graceful and... well, not dry humping. Then I think of the noises I've heard coming form their room. I bet they do a whole lot more, other then beautiful and graceful!

"Not so much with the `dry', Wills."

"You were wet?... Ohhhhh!"

Part of me wants to stay and play with Wills, but the bigger part... that wants to get back upstairs. To my room. And my bed. The bed with Faith in it.

And at least I've given her something to think about, other then the end of the world.

I take the coffee, and head from the room. I can still picture Willow behind me. Mouth still open... eyes still vacant. Yep, me and Faith. Wow.

My hands are shaking a little as I carry the cups to my room. Still nervous. She makes me that way.

And there she is. On my bed. Dressed, which is a shame. But there are plusses to be taken, and I stand a moment and observe the plusses.

Her little vesty top has ridden up. Over that navel I can't stop thinking about. Across her ribs, to stay just beneath her breasts. Her incredibly sexy, delicious breasts. They look like breakfast. My eyes wander down, to the point where she has released a couple of buttons on her jeans. For comfort. I can see the top of her panties, just sneaking out for a look around, the white contrasting perfectly against her skin and the black of her clothes. Her hand is flung across her waist, the tips of her fingers, resting just against the top of her pants, and I am entranced.

In my mind I can see her hand coming alive. Moving slowly, softly, just dipping beneath her waistband, searching for the things I long to find. The rest of her buttons popping open, as she delves deeper and deeper. Her hips finding a rhythm to keep pace with her fingers. Her breath becoming ragged, her back arching.

Arghhhh! Stop!

I shake my head, and her hand is back, exactly where it was before. Just resting.

She still looks like breakfast though.

I move over to the bed, and place the cups down on the side. It's surprising that there is coffee left in them. I am shaking so much. It's crazy.

People often say that the sleeping look peaceful. Content. Relaxed. Faith just looks like Faith... with her eyes shut.

She still looks wild, and sexy, and hot, and ready, and... Mmmmm. Like breakfast. I'm hungry.

I wonder if she would mind if I stole a kiss. Technically she `owes' me one, what with the fight thing. She owes me a big one.

So I lean forward. Casually, as if I might change my mind at any minute. Her lips are slightly open, slightly inviting, and I take full advantage. I wet my tongue, and ever so softly, ever so gently, I run it across her bottom lip, feeling each ridge, the patterns that they make... pausing in the middle, that incredible little dent, a groove just perfect, on this, her perfect mouth. And I have to have more.

I take that lip, between mine, and I suck. Not hard, not aggressively, but slowly, sensuously... like I love her.

She moans ever so quietly as I do this, and it spurs me on, urges me to take more. To have the more i want.

I climb over her, onto the bed, and make myself comfortable. She's still sleeping and I still plan on kissing her. Lots and lots and lots and... well, until she wakes up.

I repeat my slow introduction to her mouth... not because I want to take my time, but because I love the feeling it is giving me, the intimacy it is allowing me, that I haven't had before. Learning her lips, mapping her lips, making them mine.

When I finally claim her mouth fully, she starts to wake up, but that is slow, and I already have her, her tongue moving with mine, happy to greet the morning this way. It turns so quick from a `good morning' kiss, to a `oh yeah, baby!' one, that I barely have the chance to register, I just know it has changed. Because I changed it. Because I'm demanding more. I 'want' more.

My hand remembers the images my eyes saw when I entered the room, and it makes its way down her body, smoothing across her skin, sliding against her flesh, reaching for the waistband of her sneaky peeky panties. Just the tiniest bit visible, just asking to be released. I pop the buttons of her fly, the way I envisioned her doing, and now I `can' see more.

Don't worry panties... Buffy will release you...

The heat is unbelievable. As I graze my hand against the fabric covering her groin, I feel like I'm gonna burst into flames. Like I want to burst into flames. It's consuming me. I push into the kiss even more, keeping her prisoner as I look to touch what I've always wanted, look to claim what I feel should be mine.

I scratch my fingers against her pants. Against her pussy. And she bucks. Straight up and into me, my fingers forced to apply more pressure, forced to push `this' even further.

I don't want to stop. I don't want to pause and think and decide if this is right. Don't want excuses for what I can't have. Cos my world might end today, and I `just' need this.

Her tongue is fully taking part in the duel now, wrestling with me, tasting me, taking me... I wonder if her brain woke up yet... I don't want it to.

I'm rubbing my hand back and forth against her panties, and I can feel how wet she is. I don't know if it's from this, or from last night, but she is wet. And my fingers are sliding even through the fabric, and I can feel them slipping, in between her lips, against her hole, and I can't not have her... I can't not touch her... I need to touch her. So I do. I push the barrier to one side, and there it is. My hand, my fingers, resting against her. Coated already in the juice that is her. Aware of the soft trimmed hair that is framing her. And I just have to have her.

Her hips are stilled, and I wonder if she has `woken'. Properly woken. But the kiss is still there. Still happening. Still urging.

Although the rhythm I find is gentle, it is not soft. I push hard against her clit, as if I can find my own release by offering what I need. The kiss is broken as her head is thrown back, experiencing the shock of the contact so firm. Her eyes fly open, and she is looking at me... questioning... like I have the answers. But I don't stop. I wont stop.

I keep the rhythm, increase the rhythm, increase the pressure, increase the contact. And she doesn't break it. She pushes up to meet me. Every touch of my hand, mirrored by the raising of hips, the need building, me to give, her to take.

And I can't wait.

I keep her gaze as I push the first part of me inside of her. Just the tip of a finger, looking for entrance... looking for refuge. Because I need this. Her eyes are wide, but steady... I'm not looking for answers in them, because I didn't ask a question... and she knows this. In her eyes she knows this.

My whole finger pushes inside of her and her back rises off the bed, keeping contact close, holding on to what has been offered. I slide all the way out again, then all the way in again... marvelling at `this'... at what I'm feeling... it's so warm, and moist, and tight, and it's all around me, and it feels perfect. So perfect I enter another finger, stretching her walls to accommodate me that little bit more, exploring the ridges here, as thoroughly as I explored the ones on her mouth. Her jeans are tight against her, and it's restricting my movement, but I don't care... it just means my hand is pushed tighter against her. As I strain to keep the rhythm going, to keep movement up with the constraints around me, I force yet another of my digits inside her, wanting her to take more of me, wanting to take more of her, pushing as deep as I can, as much as I can.

She's bucking almost violently now, her eyes no longer open, her faced etched with silent concentration... and I keep pushing... her hands thrown back above her head, writhing from side to side... and I keep pushing... the sweat gathering above her top lip, the breath coming ragged from her throat... and I keep pushing... her muscles tightening around my fingers, her clit straining to press hard against my palm... and I'm gonna keep pushing. This is the most beautiful, hot and fucking horny thing I have seen in my life, and I am gonna keep pushing, cos I have to know... I have to see how this ends.

I feel how it ends first.

The pressure around my fingers growing almost unbearable, her body so rigid, everything held in an everlasting instant, afraid to move, afraid to miss what is happening... and then release.

The moment of glory.

Fluid rushing, racing to soak me, my hand coated, her jeans drenched, evidence of the moment, already past, fleetingly perfect. And my god, I love her.

I've never held someone in the palm of my hand before. Been in absolute control, of their body absolutely. It was a revelation. And where I know I was made to love her... now I know I was made to love her like this. That was... WOW.

She didn't cry out. She didn't open her eyes. She just let it go.

I move my hand slowly away. Her eyes are still shut, and I have the funniest little feeling, like the girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

Nice cookies.

I lean over and kiss her gently. Really gently, and she opens her eyes.

"Hey, Faith."

She's just looking at me. Not answering. I hope she's not pissed at me. That would be not good.

"Faith?"

"Buffy."

She has to say more then that. Although on the rule of hugs for name usage I should just hug her now.

"Good morning?"

She's still looking. Maybe peculiarly, but looking.

She's raising herself up a little on her arms, taking in the room, the coffee by the bed, me on the bed, her jeans undone and slightly down pulled. And now she's got the biggest `shit eating' grin on her face, that I have ever seen in my life. Bigger then that. Huge. Gigantic. Massive. Really, really big.

"I knew it!"

She knew what?

"What?"

"I knew you just wanted in my pants!... there's me all responsible, with the waiting, but you... Ha! No way... little miss eager... just needing some Faith..."

That so wasn't it. Really. It wasn't about the sex. Really!

"Faith...?"

"Yes, `miss eager pants'?"

She is not gonna call me that.

"Shut up!"

"My oh my, you are forceful this morning... should I get used to this? Is this `normal' Buffy behaviour for the mornings?"

"I brought you coffee."

I don't know why I said that, but it worked. Because she has shut up and she's looking at the coffee, and at me, and she's kinda laughing... and I like that.

"And yes..."

"Yes what, B?"

"You should get used to that... in the mornings... the coffee... and the other..."

"The other, B?"

Yeah, cos you're `so' innocent Faith, you really don't know what I mean. Right.

"The uh..."

"Ohhhhh... you mean the way you came to the room, and fucked me whilst I was sleeping, waking me up with a kick ass orgasm...? Cos I `could' get used to `that'... if that's what you're meaning...B?"

"Yep. Meaning understood."

I feel weird. I just fucked Faith. Just like that. On my bed. I had thought it would be a big event. Flowers and moonlight, and uh... violins? But it wasn't. It was more then that. It was urgent, and quick, and now. It was what I needed.

"In that case... I'm used to it."

"And you don't mind...?"

"Mind?"

"That I just did `it'. I didn't wait. You wanted to wait."

She closes her eyes again. Thinking.

"I did B. Want to wait. I didn't want... I wanted to be sure... to know, that this isn't just... that we're not just fucking... is that what `this' was?... just fucking?"

She's frowning a little, behind her closed eyes, and in this moment, she does look innocent, and unsure, and like everything I've ever wanted.

So I kiss her. A soft kiss. A reassuring kiss. Because this could never be `just' fucking.

"Faith, look at me."

And on command, her eyes open.

"I love you. And `this' wasn't about fucking... it was about me, and needing you, and not wanting to wait... when today could mean waiting forever. I just `needed' you. Is that ok?"

Please let it be ok.

She doesn't speak. She kisses me. A soft kiss. A reassuring kiss.

And it is ok.

"B...?"

"Uh-huh?"

"It `was' just a little bit about the fucking, right?"

And her eyebrows are wiggling, and she's looking so hot, and you bet it was a little bit about the fucking.

"A little."

And I can see the fire burning in her eyes. The need growing. The ache building. Her body as it takes on the posture of wanting. The self assuredness that she owns when she's horny.

"You wanna try for a little bit more?"

She's coming to possess my mouth. And it's not soft or gentle. It's fucking hot.

"Guys...?"

And there's banging on the door.

"Guys...? Buffy...?"

And it's Willow.

We break apart because we have to. Panting, ready for more.

"Come in, Wills."

Yes, please do. Because right now... oh yeah, I so want you in my room Willow.

She comes in and I see her eyes work the room. Us on the bed. The coffee by the bed. Untouched.

"Uh... are you guys hungry?... cos I was gonna start on the breakfast... and should I get everyone up?... and are you hungry?"

"I'm starving, Red... and `yes' to getting the others up... and yes again... starving!"

"Buffy...?"

"Starving."

"Ok... well I'm gonna go do that, then... with the pancakes, and the others."

She looks like she's dying to say something.

"Buffy?"

"Yes, Wills?"

"You sure ya want pancakes?... cos I heard..."

And she gets a wicked grin on her face...

"... that when you're `starving' in the morning... it has to be `gateaux'!"

And she's laughing and leaving and I'm just sat here, laying here, dumb founded.

"'Gateaux'?, what is it with you chicks and gateaux?"

And I don't know how to answer that. So I don't.

Instead I get up. I allow myself one last look at the bed. My bed. My bed with Faith on it.

And then it is gone. Because we are slayers now.

And right now, we have to go save the world.

Pov None.

They were gathered in the kitchen. Some eating, some drinking, some just standing, waiting... but they all had anticipation. They all knew that this was `the' day. The day they had been waiting for, training for, some would say, the day they had been born for. So much potential, and all in one room.

Buffy led the group. One final speech, one last rousing battle cry to get the troops motivated. To convey the seriousness of what they were fighting for. Everything they were fighting for. Explaining what would happen, how it would go. Where people would be, what they would do. Everything was decided. Everything was ready. Now they just had to go.

Giles rounded the girls up and led them to the door, congregating on the front lawn, waiting for their leaders.

The main frame remained in the kitchen just those moments longer. Observing each other, drawing the last bits of strength that they needed from their friendships, from their banter. From their love of each other.

"So Buff... ya know it's not too late to run, right? Because the back doors looking mighty tempting... and I think we'd have a good head start, leave the potentials to go save the world."

"Grow some balls, Xan!"

"Wasn't asking you, Faith!"

"Guys, we can't run... Wills stayed up all night learning that spell... I wouldn't wanna upset the witch."

"I don't mind... upset away. I'm with Xander... I can run in these shoes."

"But I'm not running... I'm gonna help the slayers... so technically you'll be running away with Xander... sounds romantic."

"Tara!... you said you would run too!"

The blonde witch just threw her hands in the air, as if she was helpless to do anything other then help the slayers. Which they all were really. At one point or another in their lives, they had all made the choice to fight this war, to help their friend... and none of them would run now. No matter how much they joked.

"So we should go then, huh?"

"I guess we should."

"You could sound more eager, Buff."

"Believe me Xan... she is `eager', no holding our B back, `miss eager pants'... she's your girl."

"What?"

The dark slayers eyebrows were dancing all over her face. She was wearing her cockiest grin, oozing sexuality.

"B... she is very, `very' eager..."

"I'm missing something here aren't I?"

"No Xander... missing nothing! Faith... mouth, shut! Witches... stop laughing, move your asses out the door... the `front' door... and lets go, I believe we had some stuff to do this morning?"

"Ok, ok... we're leaving."

"Told ya she was eager!"

"Faith!"

"And aggressive..."

"FAITH!"

"And loud..."

"ARRGGHHHHHH!"

And with that, they left the safety of the house, none of them looking back, none of them prepared to admit that this could be the last time that they ever saw the sanctuary of their home.

The high school was long since closed. Too many crazy happenings for even the `normal' person to brush under the carpet, too much unexplained, so much not wanted to be known. So people had left. Just like that. Upped and gone. And the high school was empty.

It was perfect for the slayers. They had access to everything they needed without interruptions. No power hungry principle telling them what to do, where to go. No kids to run screaming when the Hellmouth was opened. Cos that's what they were gonna do.

The slayers were gonna open the Hellmouth.

"So Buffy... me and Willow, we're doing this in the principles office?"

"Yep, Tar. Right above the Hellmouth!... How long will it take for phase one to kick in?"

"Hard to tell,... Willow, she's strong... but this is `big' Buffy, not too big, but big."

"So no idea?"

"Not long?"

"That helps."

The blonde witch looked at the slayer apologetically. She really couldn't be specific. This was huge magic, releasing the essence of the scythe to make all the potentials, slayers. Who really knew how long that could take?

"What about after the first bit?... the second spell, how long will that be?"

"Again with the not knowing Buffy. If Willow can keep focus... we could be home for lunch..."

"So make her keep focus."

"I'll try."

"Try your hardest."

"I will."

"Good luck."

"And you."

They smiled and went their separate ways. Tara to Willow, to make with the magic. Buffy to Faith, to make with the fighting. Just as things should be.

"So B... we set?"

"Nearly."

"Everyone where they should be?"

"I guess. Giles and Xander, Dawnie... they're ready. I don't want anything getting to them though. This stays in the Hellmouth."

"No arguments here."

"I can't believe Angel didn't wanna stay for this. I know with the spell, and exploding vamps, it might not have been... `safe'... but still, big battle... him being a champion..."

"Don't need him, B. Soulboy knew he wouldn't be no use, so he went. No big. You can ring him tomorrow, share the details."

"Tara said we could be home for lunch."

"Oh yeah... lunch. What ya fancy eating, B?"

"Gateaux!"

"I'm never gonna know am I? What your thing is with the gateaux?"

"You get me through this... I'll tell ya `all' my things."

"So lets go already."

"And you call me eager..."

They went to the basement, and stood in amongst the girls. Some their friends, some not so friendly. Each and every one ready to face battle.

They cut their hands, offering the blood to the seal of the Hellmouth. Urging it to open, to allow them access to the bowels of the earth.

And it did open. Wide and inviting.

Buffy's Pov

HOLY FUCK.

It's like déjà vu, but worse, because déjà vu happens after you've been somewhere, and this... heck, we've still got this to come. It's just as I saw it. Thousands of them. Like cockroaches... but kinda uglier. And more violent... and they suck blood. Not really like cockroaches. Not at all. But they are swarming... like locusts?

Focus Buffy. Focus!

The odds are against us in such a complete and ridiculous way, I don't wanna even calculate them. Not that I necessarily could, but if I could, I wouldn't want to. It's gonna be a massacre. The bad kind, the kind that involves lots of dead girls and not so many dead monsters. We need Willow. Before they see us.

Before the realisation that breakfast is here, all nice and delivered to the doorstep. Service with a smile.

Come on Willow. Come on Willow. Come on Willow. It's my new mantra.

Willow's Pov

It's too much. It's too much and I can't control it. I can feel it. Touching me, teasing me, tempting me. Wanting me to let go. To give in.

Goddess, it hurts.

So much energy...

I can't do it.

"Tara...? Baby...? It hurts..."

"Relax, sweetie. Come on. You can do this..."

I can do this. I can do this.

The scythe is so hot. I can feel the power, channelling through me. Deep inside of me. It is what's burning. The raw power.

I've done the spell. All done. Simple. The essence is all `essencey', released and ready and raring to go.

But I can't let go. Because I'm scared. It's too much... the power is too much.

"I can't do it..."

I can feel it in my fingertips, aching to burst free, to be used... to serve it's purpose... but I just can't... it hurts.

"Willow! You `can' do this... I'm here... come on... focus..."

And I'm trying. Because she's here.

I concentrate on her. On my Tara. On love. And kisses. And smiles...

And I know I have to do it. If I blow up in the process, or if my roots just go a little... dark and skanky looking... it'll be worth it. Cos I'm doing it for her.

I concentrate my mind again.

I can do this!

I control the power... it doesn't control me.

And I feel it rising up, collecting, waiting direction... and I free it.

Oh yeah. I rock!

Faith's Pov

Now `this' is what I'm talking about. Holy fucking fuck!

I'm thinking Reds mojo just got pumping... cos I am juiced. I can feel all these itty bitty potentials, just bursting with the power... all answering the call at the same time.

I feel like a mom! Shit... does that make B a grandma?... man I can't wait to tell her. She'll be stoked.

The ugly assed vamps are coming this way and I am in one hell of a mood to fight. So's everyone else by the looks of it.

All this power... I'd be lying if I said it wasn't horny...

Kennedy's Pov

WOW.

This is `too' good. I can feel it.

Bursting through my veins. Energising me. Owning me.

I am a slayer.

And I am gonna kick ass...

Pov None.

The battle raged thick and fast. A never ending army against an elite team of slayers. It didn't seem a fair fight.

The scythe had been rushed to the slayers, as soon as the first spell had been activated. It was needed there now. Willow had everything she needed to make the second part work.

She only needed herself. Her power. Her essence. She had to connect to everything. Good and evil, heaven and hell. She would be calling them all. Controlling them all.

And hopefully, after she had called them and controlled them, and generally shown what a damn fine, mightily frightening witch she was... they would release what ever power she needed, and she would channel it, and the slayers would use it, and the vamps would all go boom. Or something like that.

The little old lady who lived in a crypt, was kind of vague. Or the slayers were kind of vague when explaining. Either way, Willow wasn't a hundred percent sure `what' would happen. Only that it would be big, it would take big power, she had to wear a kooky looking amulet, she was the one, and the vamps would be defeated. It sounded simple. Just another simple spell.

Tara was keeping her grounded, her safety net, ready to catch her if she fell. But she wouldn't fall. She was over her moments of hurting and doubting.

She could do this. She was the one.

Buffy's Pov

We're doing ok. Surprisingly ok.

Will's big spell worked, so we're all doing the `slayer thang'... but the numbers are too big.

I can see that Faith knows it too. She's fighting so hard, pushing them back, holding the line... but there's too many.

And we won't hold out for much longer.

Whatever Willow's got left up her sleeve... we need it. Soon.

Tara's Pov.

Did I ever tell you I love this girl.

This sweet and sexy and funny and cute and curious and...? and kinda quirky girl. Yes. I love her.

Never in my life have I loved like this, and never will I love like this again. She is my everything. And right now...? Right now, my everything, is kicking ass!

I was worried before, at the beginning, when it all looked too much. And if it had been too much?... that would have been ok. I know how much this could hurt her. But I'm not worried now.

If you told me I was in the company of a real live goddess, I wouldn't be surprised. She is using power I have never even heard of. And she's controlling it. Directing it. The energy in the room is amazing, it's actually humming... at one point I thought maybe it was humming Britney... but that was too weird. So now I'm just going with humming. There's even a light show. My girl's got power.

And she looks as hot as hell.

And maybe that's not appropriate wording when you consider where we are...

Pov None.

All at once the cavern was filled with a indescribable light. It was too bright to be sunlight. Too powerful in it's intensity to be man made. And it was everywhere.

You couldn't say where it came from. Nothing could be made out. It was too bright. But if you could see, then you would know.

It originated from the scythe. The whole thing glowing, from the tip of it's stake, to the point of it's blade. It spread out from there, touching the hands of the one that held it.

Buffy.

It filled her body, held her rigid, muscles frozen in this moment of...?

It was power. The highest power. Using her body, as a point to burst free.

From there it jumped along the slayer line. Each one connected. Each one used.

From Faith, to Kennedy, to Rona, and on, and on, and on, until each newly appointed slayer was held in the state of paralysis, bathed in the light, a weapon to be wielded.

There was a deafening cry.

The slayers releasing from their bodies the most primal of screams, calling to the warriors past, and yet to come, bearing witness to what was happening around them, warning evil to run. To run now.

But there would be no running. The light was everywhere.

And with the scream, the light became heat, scorching, burning, destroying all which stood before it. All which desecrated what the power stood for.

The First good against The First evil. And there was only one winner.

The howl from the slayers subsided, and the only sound now was the call of death. Vampires exploding, dusting as if by magic.

Exactly as if by magic.

And the cavern began to shake. To collapse. The First good's attempt, to close the Hellmouth forever. To blot the stain which should never have existed. To put an end to this fight. Forever.

Faith's Pov

Shit I'm juiced. That was too crazy... even for me. I'm gonna be having a little chat with Red... that girl has got wicked power. Crazy wicked power.

And why the fuck are the walls crumbling?

Cos this wasn't in the brochure... B said lunch... not a fucking demolition derby!

"B... what the fuck?"

She just looks perplexed. I wonder if she knows her hands are glowing where she's holding the freaky stick. Sorry... scythe. Whatever.

"Everyone! Get out! Now..."

That's it B... get the order out...

"She said now! Fucking move it!"

Now that will get them going. A bit of slayer aggression. Oh wait... we're all slayers now. Damn!

Buffy's coming towards me. Looks hot. Oops, I mean, looks... purposeful. Yeah, really `fucking' purposeful.

"Faith... you need to get out, get the witches, make sure everyone's out... get Dawn, get safe."

She is tripping, right?

"I'm not leaving you B... come on, we'll get everyone out together..."

"NO! It's taking too long... the injured ones are too slow... you've gotta get Wills, now, I'll get the girls... go!"

"Not happening... not leaving without you."

Don't even think about it.

"Will you just do what the fuck your told for a change?... get out, get the witches out, and I'll see you in a minute. Now FUCK OFF!"

And she turns from me, just like that. Ouch. Not liking purposeful Buffy. She sucks.

But I'm going. Because I must do as I am told. And I must save Red, and B can `so' herd the rest of the cattle up.

And she's so gonna owe me for telling me to `fuck off'... gonna start thinking up payment... oh yeah. Lots of it.

Willow's Pov

Oooo, I'm moving.

Nope. The floors moving.

Why is the floor moving?

Should I open my eyes?

"Tara...?"

"Willow... that was `amazing'... but now, honey... we should think about moving."

"The floor's moving."

"And that's kind of why we should move, come on baby."

I don't think I can. Feel kinda woozy. Oh yeah... wooooozy.

"Just a minute more, Tar?... I don't think I can move."

"I'll help you... come on."

She sounds... ah what's the word... woozy?... nope, that's me... err... insistent. Yep. That's it. What was she insisting?

"What... Tara?"

I can feel her lifting me up off the ground. It's kinda shaking. Wouldn't wanna be downstairs right now... oh no. Cos this floor... this floor is gonna go.

"RED!?"

Sounds like Faith.

"FAITH...? IN HERE!"

Sounds like Tara. Why the shouting?

And ooooh what strong arms you have Tara.

Not Tara. Whoa... Faith's got me in her arms. I hope Buffy won't mind.

"Hey Faith."

She's smiling at me. She's cute.

"Hey Red."

She's running with me, and Tara's right with us. Looks like we're leaving high school. Again.

In rubble. Again.

"You're cute."

Did I say that out loud?

"Thanks Red, you're pretty hot yourself. How about we swap fluids once we're out of here, ok?"

Huh? Swap fluids. Oh no. Not gonna happen.

"Keep your fluids to yourself, slayer gal!"

But she's just laughing and running. And oh... dodging falling boulders. Looks dangerous.I'm just gonna close my eyes again.

Buffy's Pov

I have nearly all of them. I know their names now. What Faith said that time, it stuck. So I learnt. And now I know exactly who is out. And exactly who is in.

I had the able bodies helping the injured, and everything was going great. Like a conveyer belt. But now it's stopped. And I'm two short.

Rona and Kennedy. Kennedy and Rona.

It's gotta be a joke, right? A very unfunny one.

This whole fucking place is gonna come down in a minute, and I'm stuck playing `hunt the slayer'. Fun. A real laugh riot. I swear if I get stuck in hell, because of `that' girl... I'm gonna... kick her ass?

"KENNEDYYYYYY!"

I doubt they will hear me over the falling rocks, and general building debris.

Another school bites the dust.

I must have the record by now. Surely.

"KENNEDDDDYYYYYYYYYY!"

I'm gonna have laryngitis. Forever.

And then I hear it. Someone's calling my name. Must need saving.

She's trapped under a boulder. A big boulder. Rona's trying to shift it, but it won't budge.

God damn it, it's big. In fact... how about if I settle on `fucking huge'?

I put all my weight behind it, but it won't shift. It's stuck hard, and I can't get a purchase on it. I scream in frustration. It doesn't help.

And now we have a problem.

Because this place is gonna go. Any minute, maybe sooner. And I will not leave Kennedy here. Some part of me might think about it fleetingly, and it might even raise a smile... but it's not happening. I will not leave her here. End of. But I've gotta get Rona out. Now.

"Rona... listen to me!... we cant move this, we need help... you've gotta get help!"

She looks unsure.

"But... there's no time, I'm not leaving without her."

Oh yes you are. Only one hero needed here kiddo, and today isn't your day.

"There's time. Now get the fuck out! Get Faith... get anyone... just GET THE FUCK OUT!"

And there goes the throat again. I don't think it's gonna matter.

She's listening now. Get Faith. She has a mission.

And she's off, and I'm left wondering `what the fuck do `I' do now?', cos plans... I'm all out.

"Kennedy?"

"Uh-huh?"

Good. She's still conscious.

"Got any plans?"

"Get me the fuck out of here?"

I can see why Faith likes her.

"Anything better?"

"Don't let me die?"

She says that so softly. Like I can really control that? She must think more of me, then I realised.

"Sounds like a plan."

But as I look around me, I see nothing. Nothing except a collapsing building, and a lifetimes membership to hell.

And I so wanted `lunch'.

Faith's Pov

The whole fucking building is coming down.

And where the fuck is B?

The potentials... the slayers, uh... most of them... they're out. But no Buffy. No Kennedy. And no Rona.

So where the fuck are they?

I am going in. I will beat to death anyone that stands in my way. Because I `am' going in.

"Giles...? I'm going back... I've gotta get B!"

"Faith, you can't! The whole building is going to go. She will get out. She has to get out. But I will not have you going back in there."

"You gonna stop me?"

Not looking so sure now, G-man... looks like we know who wears the trousers in this relationship.

"Well no, I hope that won't be..."

His words are cut off by a major fucked up explosion. It sounds like hell itself just blew up.

I look back and I can't see shit. Just fucking dust, everywhere. A whole fucking giant sized cloud of dust.

And where the fuck is B?

"BUFFYYYYY!"

I know I screamed her name, but I couldn't hear it. My ears are ringing, fucked from the explosion. Where the fuck is she?

And then out of the dust, someone's walking. And it has to be her. I can feel something, my slayer sense tingles, but it doesn't feel like her.

It isn't her.

It's Rona. And she's alone. And I'm shouting at her, but she can't hear. We can't hear. And where the fuck is Buffy, because `this' isn't real, `this' is not happening. It cant be happening!

She's mouthing Kennedy's name.

And it hits. This isn't only Buffy. It's Kennedy as well. And I cant take this.

Rona's crying. I will not fucking cry. I will sift every fucking last piece of fucked up piece of shit building left, until I find them. And when I find them, Red can work some of that fucking mojo shit. Because I will not lose her. I will not lose them.

I can not lose her!

Pov None.

They barely moved for what seemed an age. Just staring. Looking at the dust that would not settle to reveal ruins. To reveal anything. The cloak shielding them from what was left. What remained.

Dawn was freaking. She had lost her sister again. Tara was holding her, holding Willow, but there was no comfort. This couldn't be happening again. She couldn't be gone.

Faith was not freaking. Not visibly. She was held rigid, as if the power had her once more, muscles frozen. Waiting for a call. Searching for a feeling.

The minutes proceeding...

Buffy's Pov

Plan, plan, plan, plan. Just one little plan.

And I am a dope. A big fucking, stupid sized, dope.

What do I have in my hands... oh wait... no, can it be... why, yes... ding, ding, ding... ring the bell, the girl wants a prize. I have a super sized, super charged, super powerful...uh, damn it, just `damn super' weapon. Or a tool. A tool that could surely break a little stone like this one.

"Kennedy...?"

"Yeah?"

Still alive. Whoopee!

"I have a plan."

I love saying that!

"What?"

She looks sceptical... maybe she 'doesn't' think all that much of me, or my plans.

"I'm gonna split this rock... with the scythe. And uh... I'm gonna try really, `really' hard, not to split `you', ok?"

Now she looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Aim nice."

I'll try.

"No probs... just uh... close your eyes?"

"Buffy?"

"Joke... haha."

"Just do it!"

So I do.

I raise above my head my trusted scythe and shout... `BY THE POWER OF...' No wait. That's He-Man... I'm so not the muscle man type... what's `Shera' say? Xander would so know that... I'm so gonna ask him.

"Buffy?"

Oh yeah. Rock.

I do raise the scythe above my head. And that's when I notice it. My hands are glowing.

Why did no one tell me my hands glowed? It's kinda freaky.

And now I can't move. Hello...? Paralysed. Again. Not liking.

The power that rushes through my body is even more then earlier. I can't fight it. It surges through me, claims me, takes me.

It moves my arms, slicing them through the air, bringing the scythe down with them. Slicing through the boulder as if it was butter. Melted butter.

And then the light is back. And I can hear an explosion.

So big. So loud.

I would say I was being thrown through the air, but I'm surrounded by this darn light and I can't see shit. Giles will be disappointed... I'm guessing I'm gonna have to be detailing this one for him. Lots.

Faith's just gonna be jealous. Ha!

And then I land, and it isn't so funny. I ache like nothing before. Huge ouching. But I am alive, and a few moments ago... I was giving up on that... so YAY! Alive, I'm alive!

Kennedy looks like shit. What did Faith see in her?

"Kennedy?"

"I'm dead."

She's a zombie then. Should I beat her up?

"Really dead...?"

"Hurts like it."

"I never split you."

"I never thought you could, princess."

Huh? What does she mean by that?

"Can you walk?"

"Doubtful."

"Hmmm... can ya shut up? Cos if you don't talk... I think I could carry you."

"My hero."

"You better know it."

"I do."

And she sounds sincere in there somewhere. So I'll carry her. I don't know where, mind. The whole freakin place is covered with dust.

A lot of dust. I wonder what's building, and what's vamp dust? It all makes me want to hold my breath.

So I pick her up and I start to walk. And she's quiet. And that's good.

I `so' would hate to have to drop her.

Again.

Faith's Pov

I'm concentrating so hard. Because this can not be over.

Dawn is going crazy back there, the witches are with her though, isn't nothing I can do. I don't believe she's gone. I wont believe she is gone.

So I'm feeling for her. And so what if all these fresh new slayers are screwing with my senses. If it comes to it, I'll kill them all to feel her. And I'll do it. Cos I have to feel her.

"Faith...?"

Wow. I can hear again.

"What is it G?"

"We should think about moving, we need to get away from here, need to see to the girls."

"You see to the girls. I'm not moving. `My' girl, she isn't back yet, and I `know' you don't think I'm moving till then!"

"Faith... she can't have made that. Everything's gone. We have to get the girls away. Now. Buffy would want..."

"DON'T! Do not tell me what she would want, she will fucking tell you what she wants when she gets here. Ok?"

Don't say anything else G. Do not say it. Because I will snap. You don't want me to snap.

"Ok...I will get the girls seen to. You uh... you do what ever you need to."

If I had the energy, I would floor him for that. `Whatever I need to do'? Fuck off.

I watch them walk away.

Winners but losers. They all think they've lost. I won't let it be.

I am not moving, until she is here. Not moving. And even though the dust is hurting my eyes, I am not going to close them. Cos I am looking for her.

Buffy's Pov

She feels like a dead weight. Would be easier if she was... I could ditch her!

I'm amusing myself, to keep myself going. Cos I feel `fucked'... in a totally different way to how I wanted to feel `fucked' today... but stil, wow, exhausted.

I feel like I've walked miles. But it can't be. I've walked forever. Probably made it five yards. Impressive slayer gal.

I still can't see shit. I think I must be getting close to somewhere. From what I figure, we got thrown out in completely the opposite direction, to what would have been handy. What would've been at the feet of people who could carry this `thing' for me. Not that she's a thing. Really. She's just heavy. And I'm tired.

I would rest, if I didn't feel like I was getting somewhere. But I must be. It feels like I've been walking for hours. Or five yards. Who knows. Could stumble back into hell any minute, it's not like I can see where I'm going.

And that's when I know.

For real.

I really `really' know that I am not dead, forced to carry this huge flailing weight with me for all time. Backwards and forwards the odd five yards. Cos I was wondering.

But I can feel her. And she feels good. She feels fucking fantastic.

And I run, kind of, best I can, what with the weight. Not that I'm bitter. I like carrying Kennedy around. It's my hot new accessory. And all the 'cool' girls must have accessories!

Faith's Pov

I FUCKING KNEW IT!

You can not tell me I didn't know it. I `soooo' knew it. `Faith the all knowing' I am an oracle. A `fucking hot' oracle.

I feel it all over. Like I've been dead, and now I'm living again. I am buzzing. Wonder if vamps feel like this when they rise...? Feels good. Interesting. Must ask G.

I really don't see her till she's in my face. It's the dust. Too much dust.

"Buffy...? B?"

"Faith...?"

"Who else ya expecting?"

"Not doing smart now Faith, ok... just uh..."

And I can see her struggling. And, damn! If she isn't carrying Kennedy. Never would've believed it. Them two all snuggly. Definitely a `hallmark' moment.

"You want a hand, B?"

"Well noticed, where have you been...? I could've used a hand a long while back?"

"I'm here now."

And she's smiling, through the dust, and I lean over... and right in that instant when I take Kennedy from her arms, I take a kiss from her lips.

"You scared me B... didn't like it."

"Scared me too. I wont be looking for a re-run."

"How'd you get out?"

"Long story."

And things feel kind of awkward. Even with the kiss. All I want to do is take her in my arms, and love her. But I can't, because I'm holding Kennedy. In my arms. And so it's awkward.

So much I could say. Want to say. But the moment is now. And the moment is gone.

"Faith...?"

"Ken, I'm here. I've got ya."

I look down at her, and she's kinda a mess.

"You need to get her to a hospital, Faith."

No kidding.

"What about you, B?"

"I'm good. I need to go home."

And she does, because her friends and her sister think she's dead.

Oh them of little faith. Should've listened to me.

"I'll see ya, yeah?"

Nice one Faith. Slip in some emotion why don't ya?

"Yeah Faith. I'll see ya."

And I watch her turn and walk away. Well... five feet in front `is' away. Still dusty.

I miss her already.

And I take Kennedy, and I make for the hospital.

What a truly crazy day.

And I haven't even had `lunch' yet.

Buffy's Pov

I knew I should've dropped Kennedy. Give me the time again, and that girl is sitting with her ass on the floor. Not only do I save her from certain death, but after the saving of her ass, I carry her round, probably ruining my posture in the process... and what does she do to say thank you? That's right... she ends up in the arms of the girl I love, the girl who kept me going through all this, and I end up with a lonely walk home.

I am not bitter. Much!

And now it's starting to rain. Can life get better? Please say yes.

I know Faith had to take her, she was obviously needing medical attention, but... but...

...I wanted to be in her arms.

I wanted her to hold me, and tell me everything was ok. To cradle me and take care of `my' little sore bits... maybe there would've been a kiss or two, or ten, just to make it all better. And lunch. I really wanted lunch.

But no. Nothing. Just a lonely walk home.

I'm pity festing, I know, but it's been a damn long day... or morning... and I'm tired, and sore, and my lips are cold, and what the hell was that thing with the light, and the bang, and the `oh look, I'm still alive'? Not that I'm not grateful. I like being alive. Most of the time. But what was that?

I lost the scythe too. Well technically, it lost itself... one minute it was there, the next...poof! All gone. And I was kinda getting to like it too. It was shiny, and big... and did I mention, powerful? Really powerful. But now it's gone, and I have no new toy. And it's raining, and I'm taking a lonely walk home.

I want Faith!

Too much to ask? Apparently so.

When I think of her... when I think of this morning, my whole body tightens. It's like an ache, but more then that. Almost painful in it's intensity, absolute need. And it shocks me, because I never knew. I never knew that I could feel like this.

Everything that's come before, the times I've thought I was in `love'... makes me laugh now. They were nothing... like playground romances, the foreplay to the main event. And Faith is the main event.

I should have known that this one person who could cause me so much pain, would be the one to make me feel so much love. To feel so much of everything. Life's funny like that.

The rain's starting to fall heavier now, and I'm glad I'm home. My house. Looking exactly the same as it did a few hours ago, it's just everyone inside that is different. So many slayers. I haven't even thought about what that means... maybe it could mean vacation? I think that's where you take time off, have fun... I heard about them once, a long time ago. I could use a vacation. Me and a beach, and a hot girl in a bikini. My hot girl in a bikini.

And now I'm heating up. Imagination, how I love you well.

I open the door and you would think someone had died. It's beyond morose, and I think I might just head down to the hospital, cheer up the patient, maybe carry her round the ward a few times... cos this is just too sombre.

Hello guys... we won!

And then there is shrieking and hugging and kisses and cuddles... and maybe I should've escaped whilst I had my chance. Lots of people want to hold me in their arms... but none of them are the arms I need to be held in. I return all the joy, and the smiles, and the general goodwill... but really?... really I'm counting down the time till she comes back. Cos I need her.

Willow is laying down upstairs, and that seems like the safest place to be. Dawn is pissed at me for nearly dying again, Giles wants to talk about what happened, Xander just wants to squeeze the oxygen from my lungs... and the newly turned slayers...? They all wanna kick my ass!

`Can we spar Buffy... hey Buffy, fancy training... one on one, Buffy...?'

Yeah, cos when I've just saved the world, I often run home for a nice physical workout.

I want Faith!

How long does it take to check a girl into casualty? Although I guess she might wanna stay a while, being friends and all. I should send Rona. Then Faith could come home.

I knock gently before I open Willow's door, making sure she's not sleeping, that I'm not disturbing. Thankfully she calls me in, and finally I get some peace. And these arms fit kinda nice too.

"Hey Wills... how ya feeling?"

She looks ok, maybe tired... I wanna say `stoned'... maybe she's been smoking her herbs again... Giles has warned her about the hazards of abusing magical `herbs', but our Willow, ya just can't tell her anything.

"A darn sight better now you're here... Faith was gonna have me do some fancy spell, once she had sifted the remains... and really, resurrecting you again... not keen... and all the little pieces... I was never good at jigsaws."

"Could have been messy."

"Exactly."

We fall into easy conversation about the morning's adventure. Her recounting the scary powerful magic, me recounting the scary, not so magical, but also powerful monsters. Then we discuss the whole... `oh look, I'm still alive'... scythe orientated explosion, and she has her own theories on that, regarding The First good, and me getting a break for a change. I don't know. Was I saved by divine intervention? Freaky.

She still has the amulet, which seems unfair when ya think I had to give up my scythe. But the amulets ugly, so I'm not gonna be making a fuss.

And now we're past the trauma... and we get to the bit I've been waiting for... cos if I can't have Faith right now, then talking about her is just gonna have to do.

"So Buff... this morning... looked kinda cosy on the bed, what with the pants undone... and the coffee all cold... so spill."

Cosy wouldn't have been the word I used.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you..."

"Try me."

"Ok, ok... well... I just, and she was sleeping, and she looked so good... and I just took, and I... I couldn't help myself."

I look at her sheepishly. The cookie jar feeling coming over me once more.

"Buffy Ann Summers! You wanton hussy, you... I never would've guessed... you the floozy!"

"Well she looked so good, and her pants were undone... which I hear in some cultures is a definite invitation... and I was scared by the impending doomyness of the day... and what can I say... I am a floozy!"

She gets that evil little glint in her eye, the one that makes her look so mischievous.

"So... how was it?"

"How was it?"

"Yep, details... as best friend, and fellow member of the `I love women' club, I deserve details... and diagrams... can you do diagrams?"

Diagrams?

"Uh... I don't draw so good."

"Details it is then!"

Did I say I wanted to talk about this? Foolish me.

"Hmmm... well, it was quick."

"And...?"

"Good."

"Buffy..."

"Really good?"

"Don't make me put a spell on you to talk... exhausted already... but don't think I won't!"

She wouldn't.

"Okay!... it was awesome, the best thing ever, the best feeling ever... to be inside of her like that... and to know that I was making her feel that way... it was so intense... and so right... and I want to do it again... maybe after a shower, cos I'm thinking with the dust, yuck... but I love her Wills, I don't ever want to be without her."

"It's a great feeling, huh?"

And I know she knows, because she has Tara. We share the kind of smile that we've never shared before. The one that says... `I know exactly what you're saying, what you're feeling, because I feel it to'... and I'm glad we can share that, that I have someone who understands me. It feels nice.

"So... `miss eager pants!'... what time is your honey coming home?"

"Willow!"

"What?... it's a simple question... `miss pants!'"

And she's laughing, like she just told the funniest joke in the world... and if I have to hear that name too often... I swear Faith is gonna get it. In the none nice way. Love her or not, I will not take that nickname. Nope. Not gonna happen.

"Wills... Willow, old buddy, old pal... less with the name calling, ok?... and I don't know. She called and spoke to Giles, when I was doing the long walk home, in the rain, but I don't know. I guess she's gonna hang with Kennedy for a while..."

"Why don't you call her?"

"And say what? They're friends, Will, if that was you in there, ya know I wouldn't leave your bedside."

"So you're just gonna wait for her? Why don't ya call, and just see how she is, you could even disguise it by asking how Kennedy is... if ya didn't wanna appear too eager..."

And look, she's laughing again. Can I move out of state...? Get new friends...? I hear there's plenty of slayers to cover my shifts nowadays.

"I can wait! I'm gonna take a bath. A long, hot, relaxing, bubble filled bath."

"Sounds good."

"Yep. And after that, maybe then if she's still not back... I might pace a while, leading on to strong physical violence against inanimate objects."

"Buffy's got it bad!"

And I have to agree. Anything else would just be lying.

"The baddest Will. I have it the baddest."

We talked about a few more things, strangely always managing to provide more openings for Willow to point out my eagerness. In the end, the only eagerness I was feeling, was to get out of that room.

And into the bath.

And it was heavenly. So warm and comforting. Washing all the pain away. I swear I could've stayed there for hours. All the grime being carried away, just fresh skin, all clean and sparkly.

Which reminded me, that earlier my hands were glowing. Too freaky!

As much as I could've stayed there all evening, and well into the night, the queue was ever growing, and the bangs on the door were becoming annoying. Does everybody know this is my house?

And can they all move out now? Apocalypse averted... go buy some real estate. Please.

When I get to my room, and look at the bed, and the coffee cups still full on the side, I feel it again. The ache.

The wanting.

And I'm tempted. Tempted to just throw myself down on the bed, and work out all my frustrations. On my own. In my bed. The bed where I fucked Faith. To fuck myself with the fingers I had inside her. I can't think of anything hornier right now. And I want it.

But I won't.

This hand that's trailing down the inside of my thigh, lightly tickling, softly touching... nope, I'm not gonna let it wander up... not gonna let it feel how wet I am, how wet the thought of fucking her makes me... no, not happening... and those fingers that are brushing so casually across my clit... not happening either... and I `am' so wet... and my hips are moving already, knowing the rhythm I want to set... I need to set... but this won't happen, because I can wait... I am not eager, huh... that's just a lie... and so this finger that's pressing so firmly against my own hole, as it pushed against hers... just a figment of imagination... cos I am not fucking myself... I am not thinking about Faith and riding my own hand... not thinking about how good it's gonna feel when these are her hands... when these fingers which are buried deep inside of me are her fingers... no, that's not happening... and the fact I can picture her face as I made her cum... not affecting me... no, not making me ride harder... not making me fuck myself with so much abandon, I can already feel my own release approaching... the way her muscles tightened against me, held me in... my muscles feel nothing like that... no... and my breathing so ragged... just an after effect of the bath... because I'm not just about to cum... these fingers fucking me, which just this morning were wrapped so tightly in Faith... oh god... no, not cumming...

"Oh Fuck... oh yeah... uh..."

... really, so not gonna cum.

"...ahh... oh god... mmmm....mmmmm."

Wow.

I want Faith.

And maybe I am just a little eager.

And wow!

Maybe I can just lay here, on this bed, and fuck myself over and over, till Faith comes home. Will be a welcome home present.

But then she'll call me eager again, and be thinking it's all about the sex... which it isn't. Really! It's just... god, she makes me so damn horny. It's not my fault. It's hers. Yep. Faith is to blame. Bad, bad Faith.

After a while, I get myself dressed, because I really don't know how long Faith is gonna be. I wish she would come home already. I need her. And the longer she's away... I don't know, it just feels like maybe she doesn't need me so much. Which hurts. A little.

So I'm gonna keep busy in non sexual ways. Like... aha! I will phone Angel. Impress him with my battle tales.

So answer already.

Ring, ring blah blah blah.

`Eventually', the phone gets answered and I get to have a conversation, which does absolutely everything opposite to what I wanted.

It seems Angle thinks that Faith is `his' slayer. Like I was loaning her or something. And now the apocalypse is done, he wants her to go back there. Just like that.

Hello? Reality check. She will not be leaving. Because she can't leave. I need her. I love her.

But I could hardly say that could I? Faith hasn't even said she loves me, I'm hardly gonna start telling Angel about our big, erm... `love affair'.

But god, now I have even more to think about. And it's getting later and later, and Rona left ages ago, so where is Faith?

It's still raining outside, but I don't care. I take myself into the rain, and head for the tree, the total amount of cover available to me. And I sit. And I will sit here, and I will think, and I will wait. And when she finally comes home, I will be the first thing she sees. And then I'll know.

Because I'm aching for her, and if she is aching for me, I will know.

And if I catch pneumonia from sitting in the rain...?

Well, then I'll just have to kick her ass before I kiss her.

Faith's Pov

I hate hospitals.

Really. Not even a vague dislike. I really `fucking' hate hospitals. So I guess you might ask why I've spent all day sitting in one. It's a fair question. And I'm not really sure that I know the answer.

It's just been a really crazy day, far too much happening for me to make sense of, so I'm here. Hiding out. Because as long as I stay here, I don't have to confront, `out there'. And it's the out there that is freaking me.

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.

Still the same thing, going round and round my head. No breaks. No distractions. Just Buffy. And how I feel about Buffy. How Buffy feels about me.

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.

I think I might be going insane. And I know what to look for, so when I say it... maybe I mean it. Maybe.

Today when I thought she was...

No.

Today when `everyone else' thought she was dead, it was fucked up. All the grief, and the pain. It's just too much. And I was scared. So fucking scared. So fucking dumb. I knew she couldn't be... because I couldn't cope with that. But the longer I waited... god, the fear.

And then I `felt' her, and that felt so good, so absolutely amazing... but what if I hadn't felt her? What if I never got to feel that again? To feel her again? It hurts so damn much to even consider it... which is making me think. Maybe I don't want this? Maybe I `can't' do this? This might be just that one step too far.

But this morning. This morning happened, and I can't very well pretend that it didn't. Buffy Summers `fucked' me. And how long have I waited to be able to say that? But I can say it now. And what does that mean?

I wanted to wait. I wanted to be sure. Surer then sure. Because I know what a big deal this is. Not just to me, but to her as well. I didn't want to cloud judgements with sex and orgasms. It gets too messy. Sex is sex is sex is fucking. Nothing special. Just two bodies, rubbing each other up the right way.

Or maybe just one body. Just one body that fucks you so quickly, so hard, and with such intensity... that everything you've ever known. Ever believed in. Doesn't mean shit anymore. Because that should be `just' fucking. One person taking advantage of another. Sounds familiar. But it isn't. Because I looked into those eyes, I felt the sentiment in her soft kiss and the weight behind her words. And it wasn't just fucking.

And I don't know if I'm ready for more then `just' fucking.

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.

What do I do?

I want to see her so much. Every part of me is screaming at me to go to her... but shit, I'm terrified. I don't know what to say to her. If I could just hold her in my arms. I think that would be ok. No questions... no answers. Just holding. But I know I would have to stop holding her, and then the talking would come.

And after a day like today... how can I not have answers for her?

Kennedy gave me the low down on what happened. Buffy getting all glowy and smashing open the boulder, catapulting them out of the building in that kick ass explosion. Then carrying Kennedy round, till they found me. She is so fucking good. And I'm scared I might not be good enough for her.

God. When did I get so scared all of a sudden. It's pathetic.

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.

That's when I got so scared. When I figured out that all of this was real. I wasn't just hankering after some unattainable goal... she was real... and she wanted me. She loves me.

The most fucked up thing is that half of me wants to puke, when I think that. She loves me... puke. See?

I don't know why. Maybe it's the never having love, always mocking it. I guess I don't trust it. Yet I do trust her. Arghhhh. I am going insane.

I love her.

We all know that. But `can' I love her? Can I make her happy. Give her what she needs. I'm pretty good at fucking up... so it's not a foregone thing. I want to make her happy.

That's why I'm hiding out. So I can work out the answers. All the answers I need, so that in the long run... I can make her happy.

There's a dude over by the coffee machine that won't stop checking me out. And he is so gross. All greasy long hair, and leathers. Not a chance.

I think I might kill him in a minute. Because my head is spinning, and I'd sure as hell like the distraction. The back to prison... not so hot though. So I'm gonna go back in and see Ken. Rona's had ages to snuggle and cuddle and make like bunnies... and I need to talk. To someone.

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.

Nope. Not her. Not yet.

I get to the room, and it's heart-warmingly sickening. All gooey eyes and soft caresses. Exactly what I should be doing right now. Right? Or not. Who knows.

"Hey Rona... you wanna stop pawing the girl, and give me a minute?"

If looks could kill? I'd still whup her ass.

"You're still here?"

"Unless you're just imagining me... do you imagine me often, Ro?"

And that sure as hell makes her move her ass. I wanna tell her not to worry... lots of people imagine me all the time... it's just something about me. But she's leaving, like I asked, so I'll leave it for now.

"Hey Faith... you often go round scaring girlfriends away?"

"Only when I want a little `one on one' with their honey."

"One on one, hey? I feel kinda special."

"Must feel nice."

"It does. So why are you still here... not that I'm complaining... but why?"

Could I not just be worried about her welfare? And so she got the all clear, everything's fine, hours ago... can I not be an attentive friend?

"Just checking you're ok?"

"And the real reason would be...?"

"Stuff."

Yep. That's it. Stuff.

"Ya gonna elaborate... or should I fill in the blanks myself?"

"Feel free to fill the blanks... let me know what ya come up with, cos I'm fucked if I have the answers."

"Right."

And now she's looking at me. Maybe looking through me, it's a very intense stare.

"Buffy."

Huh? Where?

I make a big show of looking around me, pretending like I don't know what she means. Kind of dumb when you think I came in here to talk to her.

"Don't play dumb Faith... it doesn't suit. We both know the reason you're still here is because of her. Because she 'isn't' here. Right?"

"Right."

"And the reason you're still here is cos you're stupid. Right?"

"Rig... what?"

"You're stupid."

That hurts. Anyone else, they'd be kissing my ass about now.

"You gonna back that up, Ken? Cos calling a girl stupid... been known to piss her off."

"Sorry... it's just... well you are."

And she looks so sure of herself, that I have to laugh. Fair enough. I'm stupid.

"You gonna tell me why I'm stupid?"

"Well for starters, you don't need me to tell you. So yeah, stupid."

"Maybe I do need you to tell me... ever think of that."

"Nah... too busy thinking about you, being stupid."

I don't think this is what I came to talk about.

"Get to the point?"

"I was. Ok. You're a slayer, yeah?"

"Now who's stupid? Of course I'm a fucking slayer."

"Right... so how do you slay... what keeps you alive?"

"Easy. Instinct. Ya just know... when you're out there, just you against them, it comes down to instinct... who's are better, who trusts them..."

"And you trust yours?"

"Of course I fucking trust them, I'm alive aren't I? For fuck's sake Ken... what is this?"

Why is she looking at me like I'm a big fucking dope?

"So you're alive because you trust your instincts... you're who you are because you trust your instincts?"

I am actually going to hit her. Hospital bed be damned, she is so close.

"Point?"

"Patience?"

"Guns `n' Roses... kick ass tune. Point?"

"You are so infuriating!"

"More then stupid?"

Now she looks like she wants to hit me. Maybe we could start a brawl.

"Faith... shut up. Please."

"Tell me your point already, and I'll shut up all ya want."

"The point is... why the hell are you doing everything you can to ignore your instincts?"

"That's your point? We decide I'm who I am because I follow my instincts... and now your point is that I don't. Gotta say Ken... maybe them doctors missed some head trauma... cos you? Space cadet."

"You really are stupid. Ok, I'm gonna walk you through it."

She takes a couple of breaths, like she's building up to something. I hope it's her point.

"Buffy. You and Buffy. What's that all about?"

Great. No point. Just more questions.

"Who knows?"

"You know."

"Right. Err... it's complicated."

"And who's making it complicated?"

"It's not that simple, Ken."

"No? Cos from here, it all looks pretty simple."

"Maybe you should squeeze over and let me in then, cos from here... no such simplicity."

"Do you love her?"

I can't lie. I don't want to lie.

"Of course I fucking love her. Every single second... Buffy, Buffy, Buffy... no respite, just her. In my head, in my heart... it's driving me crazy."

"So sweet."

"Don't fuck with me, Ken."

She has the good grace to look chastised. It still looks good on her.

"Sorry. Couldn't help it."

"Whatever."

"Back to the point..."

We were at the point?

"...you love Buffy. She loves you. What do your instincts say?"

That's easy. I've been fighting them all night.

"They say to go to her. To be with her. To..."

And I think I'm sure about this.

"... they tell me to love her. To just let go, and fucking love her."

And she's looking at me, like she's so damn smart. And maybe she is. Because she is right. Everything. Every little complication, every need to run away, every wish to not love... all of that has been battling against my instincts. And my instincts make me who I am. What I am. I always trust them. Sometimes they see me bad, but generally just when I'm crazy, other then that... they're solid. My whole life... the one thing I could depend on was my gut. My instincts.

Maybe that's why I've been going so crazy, sat here all day, denying who I am. What I need.

"Faith...?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you still here?"

I look at her and flash a grin. A special grin I save for the girls I really fucking like.

"That would be because I'm stupid. Right?"

"Right. Finally you get it!"

"Maybe I'm starting to."

I can't stay here any longer. I have places I'm meant to be. Places I should've been a long time ago.

I just have to ask something though.

"Ken...?"

"You're still here."

"Ha ha. So... you and Buffy, have you joined her fan club or what?"

"What?"

"Well... there was the tender way she was carrying you this morning, and now with the `go and love Buffy' speech... it's making me think... you like her, don't you?"

"No. Really Faith... big no. Girl drives me mad... and the tender holding? If she could've dropped me, I think she would've. Admittedly... saving my life... I might send her a Christmas card, but fan club? No fucking way. Not now. Not ever."

I laugh, because I knew. Those two are never gonna be sharing, caring buddies.

"GO!"

"I'm going! Should I send Rona back in? Cos there was this guy... totally hot, out by the coffee machine... I'm thinking your style."

"I'm thinking... fuck off."

"So much love... makes me weep. I'll see ya tomorrow, yeah? Break ya out of this shit hole."

"If I get my way, I'm outta here tonight... I got slayer healing now."

And so she does.

"I'll see ya then."

"Just go and get your fucking girl. Please?"

And with that I go.

Down the corridor, round the corner, out the door, and into the rain.

How cheery.

I think it's been raining all day. Maybe washing away the last of the evil. Maybe just a weather front. Like I care.

I do care that I'm getting soaked. I could've called. Had someone come get me. But I'm stupid remember.

And I'm fucking nervous. The walk is gonna do me good.

I'm done thinking though. If I think, I'll just end up thinking my way out of this. I work on instinct. So I'm gonna follow them. At least that way if it goes to shit... I know I was true to myself.

I wonder what she's doing. What she's thinking. She's gotta be pissed at me. All day I was at the hospital. The day she nearly dies, the day we were first `together'... oh god that sounds lame, the first day we fucked... that is so much better... anyway, yeah... all that, and I just fuck off. No phone call, no message. Nothing. And the way I left her... `I'll be seeing ya'... what kind of bullshit was that?

I am a grade A shit. Shit of the special kind.

I'm nearly there now, and I am so fucking wet. My clothes are drenched. I think my hair is plastered quite firmly to my head. Bet I still look hot though.

The nearer I get, the warmer I feel. It's a funny feeling this `connection' we have. I can't explain it. It's more then just the slayer thing. It always was. She's just in me, and when I'm near her, I can feel her. In me.

I'm feeling her now, all over feeling her.

And I look up, because I'm not even at the drive yet, and I can feel her.

And there she is. And I don't get it. Sitting under a fucking tree, in the pouring rain. Maybe I'm not the stupid one. Cos that's gotta be pretty stupid too.

I can feel the ache. The ache I have for her. My instincts screaming.

Get the girl, get the girl, get the girl.

I get it already.

As I get close she stands up. She is so fucking wet. And she looks so fucking hot.

She speaks first.

"You're wet."

"So are you."

"I was waiting for you."

And I know that she was. And I know she would've waited forever, if that's how long it had taken.

"It took me a damn long time to get here."

"Where's here?"

There's only one place that could ever be.

"With you B. With you."

She moves towards me, or I move towards her, and she takes my hands, does the prisoner of the eyes look.

"So... you wanna come inside?"

No. I want to stay out here in the rain.

"I would love to come inside."

And she starts to pull me towards the door, out of the rain. But I stop her. Because I came here to say something. Something I waited forever to say. And I wanna say it. Now. In the pouring rain.

"B...? Buffy... stop a minute."

"Huh?"

"Just wait, I wanna say something."

"Something you can't say indoors, out of the rain, in the warm?"

"Nope. I have to say it now."

"So say it, I'm wet."

Me too, B, me too. Really fucking wet.

"Will you shut up for a sec... I'm trying to have a `moment' here."

"Oh."

And I think she gets it. Because she shuts up.

"I tried so hard B. Everyday, since I got here, everyday before that... it feels like my whole fucking life, I've been trying so damn hard not to love you... every time you looked at me, I wanted you, every time you spoke to me, I needed you... but I just kept trying... because I thought I was right, that this was wrong... that love was wrong... and how fucked up is that?... and I get that now. I do. And so... I need you to love me B, I want you to love me, I want you to wake up every fucking morning, and swear that you love me... because... because 'I' love you. And that scares me, hell it terrifies me... but I want you. I want to love you. I do love you. And can you do that?"

"I promise Faith, every single morning... I will wake up and swear I love you. I do love you."

"And I love you."

Holy fucking wow.

Take intense and times it by a trillion.

"So Faith...?"

Can't speak. Head spun.

"Huh?"

"Are ya gonna kiss me now... cos typically, after a declaration like that, you kiss the girl... and I have been waiting... a long time... hours, in the rain...waiting for a kiss."

"Waiting for a kiss?"

"Yep."

And who am I to disappoint the girl I love?

So I kiss her. It's the most tender kiss I've ever given. The first kiss ever backed up by love.

Outside, in the rain, under a tree, soaking wet, on the day we saved the world. It's such a fucking cliché... a movie ending moment... and I can't do it no more.

"B?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can we go in now?"

"Ya don't like my kisses?"

"Yep, that's it. Kissing you sucks, and I wanna go indoors, have a shower, get warm, and spend the rest of the night not kissing you. Ok?"

"Ok."

And so she goes to lead me in the house, and this time I let her. I said what I had to say. What I needed to say.

"Faith...?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I'm gonna hold ya to that, right?"

"What?"

"The `no kissing all night'."

Like fuck she is.

"Just keep telling yourself that... `miss eager pants'."

And I'm laughing, she's scowling, and I can't wait to get her upstairs to wipe the scowl off of her face. I just have this feeling... an incy wincey feeling... that tonight could work out to be, the best night of my life.

Buffy's Pov

I think it would have been better if we had stayed outside in the rain. On our own. Because `this' is a nightmare. Today I thought I had stared hell in the face, but oh how naïve am I? This is hell.

All these buzzing little girls, just dying to impress Faith, with their newfound skills and strength. Do they not know `I' want to impress her with my own skills? Do they not care? They have barely let her walk through the door. All of them surrounding her. And her, just standing there... all wet, hair plastered to her face, clothes stuck to her body. Wow. She is hot.

She keeps shooting me looks, like she wants to escape, but yet she is still humouring them. I wouldn't be. In fact shooting them seems a viable option.

`ooo Faith, did you see when I sliced that vamps head right off?... oooo Faith, what about when I did that blah blah flip... oooo Faith, pay attention to me...'

It is driving me insane. Everyone wants a piece of her.

Join the queue. Me at the front.

Giles is hovering like he wants to talk. Angel wants her to give him a call.

Can the world not just give us a break? Five minutes. That's all. Just five little minutes of alone time. Me and her, in a room, on our own.

And maybe five minutes wouldn't be enough.

Well I'm not staying here to watch the Faith fest. I am wet, I am cold, and I am not impressed. Well... I am impressed with Faith. Not impressed with the fan club.

"Hey guys...? Faith...? I'm just gonna go get changed... maybe take a shower..."

And that got her attention. I can see her mind working. Shower. Yep, it has potential.

"Right, B... I uh... I might come up and take a shower. As well. And get changed."

Just say it Faith... ya wanna come get naughty in the shower.

"Well Faith, I'm quite sure Buffy will call when she is done... until then, maybe I could get a quick word?"

Thanks Giles. The whole point was to shower `together'.

"Oh right. Sure thing, G-man."

NO NO NO NO NO!

That was not the plan!

She's looking at me with pained expression, and I get it. I am in pain too. After that there declaration outside... we just need to be together. I know I said I would hold her to the `no kissing all night', but hello? Joke. I want to hold her. To me.

I'll tell ya... it is one very pissed slayer that makes the walk to the bathroom. I don't even `need' a shower... I had a bath already. Remember? I just wanted an excuse. An excuse to spend that five minutes in a room with her.

Alone.

And now I have to take a pretend shower.

How do you take a `pretend shower'?

Faith's Pov

I don't fucking believe it. Anyone would think I'm a fucking celebrity, all these girls wanting to hang off me. They're great girls... don't get me wrong, but I kinda already had something planned with a great girl. With `my' great girl.

Hell that sounds weird. `My' great girl. Gonna take some getting used to. Although at this rate I won't have to get used to it, because no bastard is letting me get near her. I saw the way she looked at me when she made her shower announcement. Oh yeah. She wants me. And I sure as hell want her.

I can't even focus on what Giles is talking about. I figure it can't be another end of the world thing... we did that today already. So I've tuned out. My little slayer ears are all straining to listen to the bathroom. To the flow of water.

And my little slayer mind... that's just imagining B, all wet...

Wait, she was already wet.

...ok... all `naked' and wet... yep much better... under those streams of water. Maybe soaping herself. Maybe me, soaping her. Just feeling her skin pressed against mine. Sliding against mine. Flesh on flesh...

"Faith!"

"Hmmmmm?"

"Are you listening to a word I've said."

"What? Of course... word for word."

Don't ask me. Please do not ask me what you said.

"So you'll do it?"

Err.

"Not even a question, G. You know me."

What the fuck am I signing myself up for here? He could've just asked me to take a bunch of girl scouts camping for the weekend, and I'm all `yeah, no problem'.

"So I can call back, in the affirmative?"

Call back who?

Way I see it, I have two choices here. One... I just smile and play dumb, happily nodding along to whatever affirmatives he throws my way. Or two... I can admit I didn't listen to a single word he just said. Any of it.

"Faith?"

"Heck, I said yes didn't I? What more do you want?"

So option number one it is then.

"Thank you, Faith. I'll make the arrangements."

Wow, a mystery adventure. Ain't life just a barrel of excitement.

And would ya look at this... no one is watching me. No one is demanding my attention. I think I might be free.

Just gonna casually wander towards the stairs.

That's it girls, you all keep on with the crazy chatter.

Up the stairs. I almost wanna tip toe.

And there's the bathroom. And yep, waters still running... naked Buffy, here I come.

I'm not gonna knock. I'm gonna surprise her.

Turning the handle real, real slow.

Easing the door slowly open.

What?

"B... what the heck are ya doing?"

She's sitting on the floor, painting her toe nails... with the water running. I don't know what's worse... the nail thing, or the odd water thing.

"Oh... I, uh... I'm taking a `pretend shower'."

"And you say that like it's an everyday occurrence?... what is a `pretend shower'... and more to the point... why?"

And I'm the psycho slayer. Bullshit.

"Well... I didn't need one. I had a bath already. And I couldn't just say I didn't need one, when I suggested it could I? So I had to take a pretend one, and the nails... that was just something to do... and anyway... what are you doing sneaking up on me?"

"Sneaking? I was surprising! I had thought I'd catch ya naked, and lathered, and I... need I go on?"

"I am naked."

I run my eyes across her very covered body. I'm getting maybe a glimpse of thigh, where her robe has opened a bit with the nail thing... but naked? I definitely would've noticed that by now.

"Anyone ever explain the concept of naked to ya, B?"

And she drops the nail stuff, stands up and sheds her robe.

Holy fuck. And wow. And... and... holy fucking wow!

"I think I'm old enough to understand naked, Faith... what about you?"

"Uh-huh."

And she's walking towards me, and I think I might have backed away in awe, because all of a sudden, my back is up against the door. And I'm trapped.

And I fucking love it.

"So that little `no kissing' arrangement? Care to reconsider?"

"Uh-huh."

"Uh-huh, yes... or uh-huh, no?"

And she is right in front of me. Pushing herself up against me. The heat of her skin burning me through my clothes. Playing with me... toying with me.

And my mouth is dry. I can not answer.

I nod.

"What's the matter Faith?... you don't wanna speak to me?"

Her hands are now trailing down `my' arms, encircling `my' wrists, bringing them up above `my' head, almost an exact replica of last night... only in reverse.

"Because I `really' want you to tell me... to tell me that you want me..."

And she's running her tongue around my ear... breathing her words into me... scorching a trail down my neck... nibbling so softly... and all the time... all the time, she's pressing her body tighter against me, forcing me harder into the door...

And for the life of me I can't fucking speak. Not a fucking word.

"... Cos if you told me that Faith... if you told me you wanted me... right now... right here... if you told me you wanted to throw me to the floor... and just fuck me..."

And she's starting a rhythm now... her hips pushing against mine... grinding into me... and I am hypnotised...

"...then I'd let you. I'd want you to... I'd want you inside me Faith... touching me... tasting me... fucking me."

I snap.

My arms which were prisoners break free in an instant, our positions reversed in a blink of an eye. Because I want this so much. I want her so much.

And now I'm grinding her into the door, pushing her naked little torso back so hard.

"I want you B, I so fucking want you..."

And I don't need to speak anymore. Because there aren't words beyond that.

The kisses I'm giving her are not soft and gentle, or caring and nice.

They're primal. 'They' speak of lust.

I'm kissing her mouth... her neck, her shoulders... I'm kissing every inch of flesh I can get my mouth to. I want to devour her. I want to eat her. All of her.

I drop to my knees in front of her, almost a state of worship, and my eyes are now level with her most intimate of places. So pretty. Just there... in front of me. And I hold myself in the instant, because I never want to forget this. This perfect moment of perfect clarity. I have never wanted like this. Never needed like this.

"Faith...?"

Her voice is tight, forced out from her throat in amongst the little moans. The little whispers of wanting.

I raise my eyes to meet hers, tearing them away from their perfect moment of perfect clarity.

She's looking at me with such blatant need, and it calls to somewhere deep inside. And I can't wait anymore. Can't hold off anymore.

Leaning just those few inches further, I place the softest of kisses against the softest of lips.

Hello Buffy Summers... I am so pleased to meet you.

My tongue comes out slowly, savouring her taste even before I reach her. Breathing her in, blowing cooling air out.

And I don't lick her straight away. Instead I run my tongue along the top of her thigh, the curve of her hip, testing little kisses... backwards and forwards... ever closer. My hands I bring to join the game. Easing her legs slowly apart... making room, opening her up to me. Exposing all that she is to me.

"Please Faith..."

You don't have to say please B...

And now I truly do taste her. The wetness of her filling my mouth as I press deep into her. Losing myself. Finding myself.

There is no rhythm to it. I just want her in my mouth.

She's pushing against me, trying so hard to make the contact more, the contact firmer. But I'm pulling back, teasing her, building the desire I can so clearly taste.

In an instant her hands are against my head. Forcing me to give her the more she needs. Demanding I give her all that she wants.

I suck her clit hard, my lips clamped tight around her. The tightest of pressure, at the same time applying the lightest of flicks. And she's singing for me.

Begging me for more. To take her places she so needs to go.

My fingers are itching to be inside of her. To be fucking her.

To join her in this dance.

They inch their way up her legs, tracing patterns in the juice which is staining her thighs. Pressing gently against the tightest of openings, making her push downwards, needing what I have to give.

My mouth leaves her hot, wet pussy, because I want to see this. With my eyes I want to watch myself fuck Buffy Summers. I want to catch that very instant when I slide myself inside of her. Disappear inside of her.

"Oh god... Faith... please... fuck me... please..."

She looks like she might cry if I don't comply with her wishes.

So I do.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I push my finger up inside of her. She is so wet, and it's an easy glide, backwards and forwards, in and out. Still so slowly. The gentlest of rhythms. And I just can't stop watching this.

My eyes trapped by the image of what is happening.

She's starting to strain again, and I know she needs more. And it's so easy to turn one, into two. Two fingers gently fucking her... tight together as I push them in, spreading them apart when they reach their destination. Filling her, stretching her, making her mine.

Her hips are moving with me, keeping pace, but eager for more. My eager little B.

I want to taste her again, but I don't want to stop watching. I could watch this forever, her so open for me, me so aching for her.

I bring my thumb up to brush across her clit, and she bucks so hard, that for a moment I think she's gonna cum right there. I pause for an instant, I want her to wait, `I' want to wait. I'm savouring this.

Her moans are becoming more frequent, the rhythm of her hips more insistent. I know she's trying to keep the volume down, but I don't care. I want her to make noise for me, I want to hear what I do to her.

She looks so beautiful in this instant. So hot, so fucking horny and so god damned fucking beautiful.

"I love you B..."

And I don't know where that came from, or even if I was thinking it. But the words are there, and I mean each one of them.

I can see the sweat running down between the breasts I haven't even touched yet, the nipples standing firm, maybe wondering when it's their turn. And I want them.

And I have them.

Raising myself from my position of voyeur, I take one into my mouth. Rolling it around, biting gently.

And the bite makes her buck again, makes her moan again. So I repeat, just a little firmer, not too hard, no where near soft.

And I can't do this anymore. I have to fuck her. I have to fuck her hard.

I move attention to the other nipple, not even bothering with the soft, tender foreplay. I suck it into my mouth roughly, releasing with another bite, at the same time ramming my fingers so hard and deep inside of her, pushing to places I've yet to reach. And now she's lost sense of volume, cos she is screaming, and I love it, and it spurs me on... harder, faster and always more.

Her mouth is calling to me, and my tongue enters there with the same forcefulness I'm fucking her pussy. I want her. I want all of her.

And it's frightening how hard I'm pushing her, what I'm demanding from her... yet she takes it all, she takes it and returns it, one leg raising up to wrap around me... urging ever deeper, ever harder... her hands wrapped around my neck, pulling my mouth onto her, her own tongue duelling with mine, with such intensity...

And I know, I know she is almost there... I can feel it starting... can hear her breathing losing control... her heart pounding so loud... the stopping of the `kiss'... the head thrown back... and the words so sweet to my ears...

"Yes Faith... oh god... that's it... I...

And everything else is lost, because I push so hard with that final thrust... she doesn't have the sense for words... her whole body tightening... straining... clenching...

And finally releasing.

And now she moans a little, the softest sweetest of moans as she rides out the climax... bringing herself down... collapsing against me... her body spent.

"Holy fuck..."

Exactly.

I slide my fingers out of her, and she is so tight. Almost holding me prisoner, begging me to stay.

"That was..."

And I don't know what to say... because I can't even think what that was.

"Uh-huh."

But I'm glad that she agrees.

I kiss her. Just pressing my lips against hers, because I need the contact. I don't ever want to break this contact.

Ever.

And there's pounding on the fucking door.

Always. In this fucking house there is always something!

"Buffy!?"

And I know she can't answer.

"Er... Buffy's in the shower, Dawn... uh, what ya wanting?"

"The bathroom would be a good start... then I want to know why Buffy's been screaming in the shower for the last ten minutes, cos all us girls, we're getting worried downstairs... can ya just check she's ok... maybe peek round the curtain..."

"She's fine Dawn. She uh..."

"Save it Faith... I stopped being ten a long time ago..."

"So you'll understand when I say piss off then, yeah?"

"I `need' the bathroom!"

And I want to ask whats wrong with a bucket, cos I spent some time in solitary... and I know they work fine.

"Just a minute..."

And I look at B, all sated and satisfied looking. Good job she's a little out of it still... I think she would freak if she understood fully, that her sister and all the house guests had just heard our little performance... or `her' little performance.

I don't even think that half of them know. I guess they do now.

"Hurry up!"

"Fuck off!"

"Faith!"

I get that in echo. Dawn and Buffy. I think she must have come round.

"Sorry!"

God damn it. I hate this house.

I re-robe B, and lead her out of the room. Dawns just standing there looking so pleased with herself. If she wasn't B's sister... violence. Lots of.

"Oh and Faith?"

"What Dawn?"

Cold tone, like she deserves.

"Giles said to tell you he called Angel back, and that he'll be expecting you tomorrow. Ok?"

"What?"

And that time the echo is me and B.

Oh fuck.

Looks like I figured out my girl scout camping weekend.

I knew I should've taken option two. I am so stupid. Definitely stupid.

"Faith...?"

"Yeah B?"

"What the fuck is going on?"

And wouldn't I just love to know?

Faith's Pov

`What the fuck is going on'?

That is the million dollar question, right?

It's not really hard to work out. Obviously in my eternal wisdom of tuning out Giles, and my need not to own up, I have landed myself in all sorts of shit. And I think I might be in trouble.

Los Angeles tomorrow certainly wasn't in my schedule. Not in the slightest. My schedule involved... Buffy. Buffy. Maybe a side dish of Buffy. And a whole lot more of Buffy. Angel's cool and everything, and LA has it's advantages, but... Buffy.

She's looking at me now, still waiting for an answer. Well guess what? I don't have the fucking answers, cos I'm so fucking stupid. Ask Kennedy, she can vouch.

How can I explain, when I don't know what I'm explaining?

"I said, `what the fuck is going on'?"

I know. I heard.

"B, ya wanna take this in the bedroom, cos as much as I like you bitching at me out here in the hallway, I'm more of a privacy kinda girl."

"Bitching at you? You think I'm bitching at you?"

Dawn's still standing there, enjoying the show, and damn right yeah, I think she's bitching at me.

"Damn right I do, B. And now I'm asking you... can we take it to the bedroom?"

I'm not gonna lose it. I'm gonna keep cool. Count to ten. Whatever. If she insists on making me stand here, like an idiot in front of her sister though, then I 'may' lose it.

She glares at me. Glares at Dawn. And storms to her room. She leaves the door open, and that's my invitation to follow.

This is so fucked up. We should have been coming in here now to be together. To hold each other. To fuck each other. To love each other. But because of me, and my general idiotic-ness, she's pissed. Hell... I'm pissed.

"So Faith, tell me, when were you gonna mention your little trip to LA?..."

Maybe when I knew.

"...what was the plan?... fuck me a few times, get your rocks off, and split... was you even gonna stay the night..."

I was planning on staying a lot longer then that. And when she shuts the hell up, I'm gonna tell her that.

"...or was you gonna bail straight after the fun was over?"

Is this fun?

"B, if ya wanna calm yourself down for a minute, then..."

"Calm down? I am fucking calm."

"Will you shut up for just a minute?"

"Don't tell me to shut up, Faith!"

"I asked."

Jesus, I can not believe she is so pissed. This is bullshit.

"Whatever."

"Look, I was gonna say, I didn't know about LA, ok?"

And she so doesn't believe that.

"So Dawn is talking crap?"

"Dawn always talks crap... that's not the point."

"So what is the point, Faith."

"I didn't know... Giles was going on earlier, I wasn't listening..."

"And I'm meant to believe that?"

"No B, you're meant to stand there and call me a fucking liar! Of course you're meant to believe that."

What is her problem? I didn't fucking know!

"So how long is this little trip supposed to be for?"

"I. DON'T. KNOW!"

Why is she not understanding?

"Do not shout at me, Faith."

Oh icy tones. Yeah I really deserve that B. Thanks.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

"Look... B, I don't wanna argue, I didn't know ok... I still don't know, maybe I should go talk to Giles and figure this out...yeah?"

Good thinking. Put space between me and the scary, crazy, mad woman.

"Are you gonna go?"

"B, I don't even know what the hell it is, how can I answer that, when I don't even know?"

"So you are gonna go?"

"For fuck's sake, will you listen to me?"

I am really getting pissed now.

"I don't think I want to, Faith. From where I'm standing... you just fucked me, now you're telling me you're off to LA... and that's sposed to be fine... well it's not fine!"

"Can we cut the drama here? I'm gonna go speak to Giles... then I'm gonna come back, and then `we' can decide what's gonna happen, ok? Just chill out. I don't `want' to argue."

"And this is all about what you want."

I'm gonna let that slide. I'm gonna leave this room. I'm gonna talk to Giles. And then I might just fuck the hell off, cos I certainly didn't sign up for this bullshit.

"I'll be back in a minute."

"Is that via LA?"

"Funny."

I don't slam the door, cos I'm keeping my cool. One of us has to. I can kind of see why she's freaking... reverse the roles, I might freak. I would freak... but god damn it, I DIDN'T KNOW!

Buffy's Pov

I don't freaking believe this.

`I tried so hard, B... blah fucking blah.'

And she's going to LA. Tomorrow. What is my deal with people leaving me? Everybody leaves me, why should she be different?

I just thought... god, I thought this was real. I still think it's real.

But there is no way she is going tomorrow. There is no way that she is gonna come here, turn my life upside down, make me love her and then leave me. When Angel told me he wanted her to come back, I was so sure it wouldn't even be an issue. That we wouldn't have to have this conversation.

She said she loves me for Christ's sake. If she loves me why would she leave me. Why would she leave me now?

I think I might scream. And I'll just keep on screaming until she says she won't leave.

My god. In the bathroom just now. I have never, ever, even come close to that. The way she touched me, the way she made me feel. It was just so intense. So everything. And now?

Now I want to scream.

I want to keep calm. I know I'm acting just a little bit crazy... but arghhhhh. I love her. I need her.

She can not leave me. I will not 'let' her leave me.

Faith's Pov

"So why does he need me G? Can't we send one of the others... cos I'm not the only slayer here, right? There's a whole fucking house full of slayers... I don't see why I have to go?"

"Faith, calm down. There's really no need for you to get so excited."

"Well maybe you wanna go upstairs and explain that to B? Cos she certainly seems to be getting all excited about it."

Try excited with a whole heap of pissed. Nothing can ever just be easy.

"Look, why don't you ring Angel... uh, explain the situation to him, and see what he says."

"Explain the situation?"

He's not telling me to care and share with the dead dude over Buffy. That is just a little outside my boundaries. Or a lot outside.

"If he understood the... relationship... that you and Buffy have developed, then I'm sure he would understand that you can't be there right now."

"You want me to ring Angel and tell him I'm getting down and dirty with his ex-honey? You think he's just gonna be all comfortable with that?"

This is such crap. Why didn't I just listen in the first place?

"I really don't see that his comfort is an issue, Faith."

"Right."

"I also don't understand why not one hour ago you were agreeing whole heartedly to the idea, had you have said then, it would have saved this wouldn't it?"

Well sorry G, I was far too busy perving in my head, to listen to your crap.

"No shit? Ya think?"

"There's no need for sarcasm Faith. Just phone him."

"What-fucking-ever. Thanks for your `help'."

Have I mentioned that this is bullshit?

Just fucking phone him? Just fucking dust him... would save all the bother.

Finally I know the score. Hallelujah. Bring back the preacher, cos I wanna thank the lord.

Angel seems to think that I would go back there full time. I expect the fact that I did say that before I left, would make him think that. But I didn't know did I?

How the hell would I know that I was gonna fall in love, with Buffy, again? That she would do the falling thing for me? I sure as hell never expected it... certainly never asked for it. Sure I never wanted it.

Wonder why that could've been? Because it totally fucks everything up?

I should've stayed at the hospital with Ken, got my `thang' on with coffee machine guy, I'd probably be feeling a damn sight better then this right now. Yep.

God I don't know what to do. He's expecting me tomorrow. I told him I wasn't staying... not gonna happen. But he seems to think I `need' to be there, so he can do his bullshit big brother thing and monitor my redemption. Ha fucking ha. Why he thinks I'm all caught up on looking for forgiveness is beyond me. I'm not. Really not.

I fucked up. I paid. I'm doing the good shit now. End of. Fucking brooding idiot. I swear the only thing that guy needs to monitor is the pointy end of my stake, cos if I don't stake his heart, I'm gonna shove it up his ass.

I'm gonna go there tomorrow. Sit him down, tell him the sitch, and split.

Dude's a sell out anyway. Wolfram and Hart. Yeah... way to go Angel. Nice deal ya struck there... and how many devils hands did ya have to shake in the process?

And so what if he offered me all sorts of luxury, and hi tech slaying crap. Don't need it. Don't want it. Want Buffy.

So now I'm just gonna go back upstairs. Sit B down and have a nice civil conversation about it. No cursing. No shouting... and I sure as hell hope, no screaming.

"Well?"

Oh look, still icy. Great.

"I spoke to Giles, I spoke to Angel..."

"I didn't ask who you spoke to Faith... I want to know what's going on!"

"And I want you to stop speaking to me like a fucking two year old, B? Any chance?"

And there goes the `no cursing'. Me and my damn mouth.

"Don't play with me, just tell me what's going on!"

Play with her? What's that supposed to mean?

"You think I'm playing with you?"

"Are you going to LA tomorrow? That's all I need to hear."

Ok. Now I have to explain that yes, I am, but it's a flying, in and out, not even gonna stay for coffee kinda trip. The one where I explain to Soulboy that I'm staying here. In Sunnyhell, with Buffy. Can't wait.

"It's not that simple, B. I've just gotta go..."

"I knew it! I fucking knew it..."

And she broke my cursing rule too... she `has' managed not to shout or scream yet.

"... all that crap you gave me outside... what was that... the easy way into my pants?"

I am not taking that. Nope.

"I think you might wanna back that up there B. Maybe think about what you're saying, yeah?"

"I don't think I need to think about it. I think it's glaringly fucking obvious."

She has a mouth worse then mine.

"You do?"

"You tried so hard not to love me? So damn hard that you're leaving me. TOMORROW!"

And there's the shouting.

"I'm not leaving you, B..."

"No? cos usually, when someone leaves... it's called leaving!"

Can we rewind a couple of hours. My head is gonna explode in a minute. I'll be glad when it does.

"Will you please just shut the fuck up... just for two seconds, yeah? Cos if you keep this up, I think you'll find I'll be leaving right about now."

"Fuck you Faith."

"We already did that B, I'm gonna go with talking for now."

"How about this? There is no fucking way you are going to LA tomorrow. Ok?"

Whoa. No really, whoa. She didn't just tell me what I can and can not do.

"You think you can tell me what I can and can't do, B?"

"You are not going to LA tomorrow!"

This chick is tripping. I don't care who she is, there is no damn way she is telling me anything.

"And you think I'm gonna listen... you think I'm incapable of making my own choices..."

"We've seen your choices before, Faith... maybe handing over the reins wouldn't be such a bad thing."

Bitch.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I think we both know what it means."

And I think the gloves are off. I thought we'd left the past where it belonged... in the fucking past... and now this. Fuck you Buffy.

"You wanna turn this into something it isn't B? Cos I'm happy to let it go here..."

"I bet you are, you got what you came for!"

Who is this person in front of me? Would someone please bring back the girl I love.

"I got what I came for? You wanna elaborate?"

"You fucked Kennedy... you fucked me, I'm sure your quota's full."

"I'll think you'll find that you were the one with their hands down my pants first B, or did ya conveniently forget that?"

"Fuck you Faith!"

"And your point?"

"Fuck off!"

"That seems to be the best option."

I'm gonna snap. If she doesn't get her shit together, I am going to snap.

"I'm telling you Faith... you are not going to LA tomorrow..."

I've had it.

I'm done listening to this crap.

"I will go where the fuck I want, when the fuck I want... and if I wanted your fucking permission... oh wait, I don't want your permission..."

"I `said' you are not..."

I snap.

I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. But she brings out the best in me. Always has.

I get right up in her face. I back her up against the wall. And she's shut up now. Shame it's too damn late.

"Buffy... yeah, we fucked a couple of times, and yeah..."

I lean in real close.

"...it was really kinda nice... but I am telling you now, you do not fucking own me, and you will never fucking own me, and you will never get to tell me what the fuck I can and can't do..."

She opens her mouth to speak, but I don't give her the chance.

"... I am not, and never will be, one of your damn lap dogs, I won't roll over on demand... and if you don't like that, well then, hell... I guess me going tomorrow is the best fucking thing!"

Being this close to her is killing me. All this, and I so fucking want her.

She's teary eyed now, but this is not my fault.

She speaks, and I let her. But I don't back off, I don't leave her space.

And icy calm. That is what she gives me.

"Get the hell away from me, Faith. Just get the hell away."

I look at her. Her eyes, her mouth, her lips. And I kiss her. With everything I wanted to say, before this shit, I kiss her.

She kisses me back, and it feels like goodbye.

Pulling away and leaving the room is the hardest thing I've ever done. But I had to do it. I don't know what happened there. I really don't. A huge fucking fuck up.

I stand by what I said though. I will not be her lap dog. I love her. I told her I loved her. Why isn't that enough?

Just a couple of hours ago she swore she would wake up everyday and tell me she loves me. Because that's what I needed. That's what I wanted. Why do I think that's not gonna happen.

Buffy's Pov

I can not stop crying. I am such an idiot. Why the hell did I say those things to her?

Why did I have to keep pushing?

Because I was scared. Scared that she was leaving me... just like everyone else.

I never even gave her the chance to explain, to tell me. That's me though right? I've always thought I've known better then her, acted so superior to her. And now I've pushed her away

Job well done, Buffy. Congratulations.

The only thing I have to cling to is that kiss. Because that kiss says she loves me. Her words hurt, but I deserved them. Her kiss is what counts.

I need her so much, I want her so much, I love her so much.

And I am such a stupid bitch.

I swore that I would wake up every morning and tell her that I loved her. So tomorrow morning, after I've let her cool off, I will find her, I will say sorry, and I will tell her that I love her.

And I hope that, that, will be enough.

Willow's Pov

Oh dear. It seems I live in a house of discontent. And the walls are `really' thin here, so I know how content it was a little time ago, and now I know how un-content it is.

Fireworks. Lots and lots of. And not the pretty kind that make you go `oooooh' and `Ahhh'. Nope. Although the first round made me go `ooooooh'. In the bathroom no less. Tut tut, Buffy. I am `so' not cleaning the bathroom this week.

But the second round. Ouch. Much in the way of ouchies.

I always knew that those two couldn't be together without the sparks. There's `always' been sparkage, even when they were intent on killing each other. Definitely sparks.

I was cringing, visibly cringing, as I listened to their words. Buffy thinking she could tell Faith what she can and can't do. Never a good plan. Pretty silly plan really. Me and Tara were willing her to quit, but it seems our mind control powers just aren't up there with the Jedi types. And she didn't quit. Poor Faith. She was trying so hard to keep her cool.

I was shocked to hear her saying she was going to LA tomorrow, though. I wish Buffy had kept it quiet for just a minute, cos I really wanted to hear why she was going. I didn't think she would be leaving here. Ever. Curiouser and curiouser, indeed.

I don't know who I should go to. Buffy is my bestest friend, and I feel like maybe that's where I should be going... but then, who is gonna go to Faith. Who is going to see that she's ok? If Kennedy was here I wouldn't worry. But she isn't. So I do. And plus Faith can be kind of... volatile? Wouldn't want her to go all... I don't wanna say psycho... I know she's changed... totally changed... but... well, I don't wanna see her lose it. Not because of Buffy. Not again.

So yeah. Faith. I am going to go and see Faith. Then I'll see Buffy. And then I'll make them talk to each other... and then I'm gonna join the peace corps. Exciting new career. Could still come under the 'saving the world' category I suppose... but with less demons involved. Tara could join up too. Uniforms!... We would get uniforms, and I bet she would look so good in a uniform. Oh yeah, definite hotness involved!

Thankfully most of the house is quiet now. The poten... oops, the `new slayers', they're finally quitting with the overexcited squealing noises they've been making `all' day. And Giles and Xander have gone... notice they didn't take any girls with them... bah! Not fair.

She's in the basement. But that's no surprise. Probably got a lot of aggression to work out. A few muscles to unwind.

And Oh, she does look pissed. She's just wearing a pair of shorts and a... bra? Sports bra. Gonna go with sports bra. And I am not looking. Nope. God she looks good. Not `Miss McClay' goodness... but `oh wow' goodness, none the less. She is pounding on the punch bag. Sweating. Glistening. Mmmmm.

I better say something or she's gonna think I came to watch her sweat again. Which I wasn't doing last time, but `she' might think that. I might be kind of staring at her... but hello? Lesbian. Faced by hot girly sweatyness... you try not looking!

"Faith...?"

"Ungh?"

Grunted reply. So very pleasant.

"You wanna stop for maybe a minute?"

Now she's kicking the bag. Really kicking it. She is so pissed.

"No."

"Please?... just a minute... then you can get back to it, the destroying of the bag."

She looks at me, and for a sec, it kinda looks like she might kick me.

"Red, I am so not in the mood for this ok? You wanna come down here and bitch at me for upsetting B, don't bother."

I wasn't gonna do that.

"Hey, that's not why I'm here."

"It's not?"

"I think Buffy is old enough to take care of herself... and anyway, from what I heard, maybe she was the one doing the upsetting... not that I was listening... on purpose, but it was kinda loud..."

"Not my fault! Didn't wanna argue."

"Faith, calm down. I'm not here to go all blamey on you. I wanted to see that you're ok, that you're alright."

"That I'm not going psycho?"

"No!"

Well, maybe a little. But just a little.

"Did `she' send you down here?"

"Buffy? Nope. This is a one woman mission... secretive and all. Well Tara knows. But that's it."

"Right."

I don't really know what to say to her. It's not like we've overly bonded... sure we're friends, but close? Not crazily so.

"So, uh... thanks for the carry this morning."

That's it. Bond over shared endeavour.

"Not a problem, Red. Doing my job... and ya did call me cute, so it was worth it."

A-HA! She is smiling. `And' the eyebrows.

"Right. That was one crazy morning, huh?"

"Crazy day."

"Yep..."

"Fucked up day."

"You wanna talk?"

"I wanna split."

"No. You can't do that, Faith. You have to..."

"What is everyone's fucking deal with telling me what I can and can't fucking do? Answer me that Red? Three god damn years in prison... and it feels like I haven't left... should I check before I use the toilet... cos I can..."

"Sorry... I didn't mean to say that... like that. I just meant that you should wait and talk to Buffy, not just leave."

Oooops. Gonna have to watch my phrasing.

"I don't think I want to `talk' to Buffy."

"I'm sure she didn't mean to be so..."

"I don't care! I'm sick of being treated like shit by her... tonight, god... I fucking told her `I loved her'... and do you know how many people I've told that to?..."

Do I answer?

"...None! Just her. And now I've gotta wonder, what the hell was I doing?"

"Faith. You don't mean that."

"I don't?"

I hope she doesn't. My first mission in the peace corps is gonna be over pretty darn quick if she does.

"No. You're just... mad. Angry. And rightly so... but don't doubt what you feel for her."

She's pacing back and forth and I have to think of a caged tiger. All that `Grrrrr' just wanting to get out.

"I have to get out of here. I am not staying for another round of that. No fucking way."

"Ya don't think if ya just wait till morning, maybe things will be a bit calmer..."

"No. `I' won't be calmer. Ya know... when she was mouthing off, half of me just wanted to `do' her..."

"Kill her?"

Now she's looking at me like I'm crazy.

"No Red! Jesus... why does everyone think I'm hung up on the killing...? Over it ok?"

"Oh right... so `do' her meant..."

"`Do' her... `screw' her..."

"Ohhhh. That makes more sense."

"Does it? She was totally going off on me, Red... and I wanted to get down and dirty with her... crazy right?"

"No... when Tara's pissed at me... total turn on!"

"I can see how that would work... can't imagine your girl pissed, but I could see it would be hot."

You have no idea.

"Very hot."

"Stop side tracking me... yeah, so I have to get out, cos I need to think about this, I'm not just gonna take a roll with her, and pretend it's ok... cos it's not `ok'. You heard what she said... she thinks I just came here to fuck her... and 'that' pisses me off. Really fucking pisses me off."

Buffy is so stupid at times. This being one of them.

"Look Faith, I'm sure she didn't mean that... she's upset, what with the LA thing... and uh... what `is' the LA thing?"

"That's just it Red, there is no `LA thing'. Angel wants me to go back, stay there... I was just gonna go tell him I can't and why I can't... would've been gone and back, all in the space of a day... but would she fucking listen?"

"So you're not going to LA?"

I knew she wouldn't leave. I knew it!

"Well I wasn't. Now I'm thinking... maybe not such a bad idea."

"Oh."

Darn it.

"Will you drive me Red?"

"What?"

"Will you drive me... cos I could get a bus, but I can't say I wanna."

Buffy will kill me if I drive Faith to LA. Dead, kill me.

"Err... I don't know, Faith."

"Don't worry about it. Bus it is."

And now I have to make a choice. I hope I live through it.

"No, Faith. I'll drive you."

"You sure, cos if it's difficult I can get..."

"I'll drive you."

"Now?"

"You want to go now?"

"I really don't wanna have to see her. I need to think things through first. You get that?"

"I get it."

Buffy is going to more then kill me.

"Ya know, Red, you're a damn good friend."

Might be a short lived friendship, this time tomorrow, I'll be dead.

"I just gotta tell Tara what's going on, ok?"

"No sweat, I'll get my shit together."

"You're sure about this?"

"No. But then I'm not sure about lots of things... wouldn't wanna break a habit."

This isn't how I wanted things to go. But then I'm pretty sure this isn't how Faith wanted things to go either. And at least I can talk to her on the drive. Persuade her to sort things with Buffy. This peace corps thing is real hard work. I'm definitely reconsidering my `exciting new career'.

I explained things to Tara. She is gonna be ready for the fall out in the morning. Maybe try and dissuade Buffy from killing me.

Me, I'm going on a middle of the night road trip.

This day is going to go down in my personal history as one of the strangest ever.

Early morning magic. And not just garden variety magic... oh no. Big scary crazy magic. The school going bang. Buffy going bang, and then not being banged. Although to be fair, she did get `banged'. Thin walls, remember?

And now this.

Maybe the peace corps can send me abroad?

The really stupid thing, the stupidest thing, is I know how much they love each other. Buffy today, waiting for Faith... talking in my room... she so has it bad for the girl. And Faith... it's obvious she feels the same.

So why do they make it so darn hard for each other?

I still wish I could bang their heads together. Knock some sense in.

But this is their problem, and they have to sort it by themselves.

I just hope they can. I really, really hope they can.

Maybe the LA thing will still be a flying visit. Buffy can... I don't know, but she can do 'something'. And then Faith will come back, and then all will be well.

Oh so simple. I wish!

Faith's Pov

I am so fucking tired.

I can't even begin to understand everything that's happened today. It's all so messed up. I swear if I took a vacation for a year I'd still be tired. I'm just trying to keep my eyes open for Red's sake. She looks pretty beat too, and yet she's still doing this for me.

How many weeks ago was I making my first trip with her? Seems like years. So much has happened, so much has changed. Just go to Sunnydale, help with the apocalypse, and get out. Really so simple. So why is it all fucked up? I think it's me. I attract crap. I am a crap magnet.

"Hey, Red? Do you think I'm a `crap magnet'?"

"You what?"

"I think I'm a crap magnet. Everything I do, turns to crap. Must be something wrong with me, right?"

"Don't be silly, Faith, things are a bit... not so good, right now, but don't let it get ya down. Relationships are tough, even the best ones have their bumpy bits."

It's not that I don't believe her, but me and B, we haven't even started a relationship yet, and look at us. If I wasn't so pissed still, I'd probably settle somewhere on sad.

All that `instincts' bullshit, that Ken was saying... I thought that made sense. I thought I was doing the right thing. Telling B, telling her how I felt... just saying it to her... man, that was so good, it felt so right, so like I was supposed to be doing it... and the bathroom, don't even wanna think about that... if I think about that, I'm gonna make Willow turn the car around... and I don't want to. Or maybe I do. I wish someone would tell me what the fuck to do.

"What the fuck do I do, Red?"

"Huh?"

"I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make it better, I don't know how to have a `relationship'... I don't know anything. Not a fucking thing."

She looks like she's giving me a sympathetic look, but her eyes are kinda still on the road too. Just give me answers Red, just give me answers.

"There isn't any easy answer, Faith..."

Great.

"... no quick fix relationship guide..."

"You and Tara seem to have it pretty good, all worked out."

"Hmmm."

"You don't?"

"We have our moments, Faith. Last year... that was all wrong. I really screwed things up then... I think if you had seen that, you wouldn't be saying we had it all worked out."

"The magic stuff?"

"The magic stuff."

"So how `did' you work that out?"

I'd forgotten about that. I just can't imagine Red all juiced up and addicted to anything... and her and Tara not together... doesn't seem possible either.

"It took time. Lots of time. And trust, I had to get her trust back... eventually though? It was love. I love her so much, and I'm lucky she feels the same... but it wasn't easy. It wasn't a foregone thing. I really thought I'd lost her for a while. I was pretty mad at myself."

"Me and B? Seems we cant be in a room together, without something messing up... there's always something going wrong. And what does that mean?"

"Who says it means anything?"

"Gotta mean something Red, everything means something. The First... when it came to me... it said I'd never be with her, that I couldn't give her what she needs..."

"It also said it was gonna kill us all, raise an army... take over the world. I don't see that happening, do you?"

"Fair point."

"You want my opinion? On you and Buffy?"

"Hit me."

Anything that will help me un-fuck my head, would be greatly appreciated.

"You're meant to be together... always were. There's a reason that there's two of you, why there was two slayers..."

"Yeah, cos she died."

"No. Not cos she died... although definitely a factor. I love Buffy... always have, but I see how alone she is, how things affect her. It's not been easy for her... Angel, she loved him, really loved him..."

And don't I remember that. I tried to kill him for it.

"...and he left her. I know there was reasons... but that hurt her Faith. And then Riley..."

"Beefstick."

She giggles. Seems I'm not the only one that thought that then.

"...whatever you call him. He left too, which was a good thing, cos yuck... but it still hurt. Then her mum died, and she's left to look after Dawn... don't get me wrong, we all tried to help... but she was alone. And when she died, and after... she never quite got her spark back. Not until you came home..."

"You're just saying that."

"I don't need to, Faith. It's the truth. Ask anyone. There's just something there... whether you're killing each other, or loving each other... which by the way... communal bathroom...ewww, but there is something there. Something real. You stop each other from being alone. You're meant to be together."

"That's all nice and sweet, Red... but it doesn't tell me what to do."

"So you missed the obvious `be together' insinuation then... cos that's what I was going for."

Be together. So simple. So right. And yet here we are, fucked up.

"So tonight... you think I should just forget that, let her talk to me how the fuck she wants, just so we can `be together'?"

"No. She was wrong, big with the wrongness... but see it from her side. One minute she nearly dies... then you tell her you love her... which I know would've been a huge deal for her, she so has it bad for you..."

That's nice to hear. I've got it so bad for her.

"...and then she hears you're going to LA. And she doesn't even hear it from you..."

"But I tried to tell her, she wouldn't fucking listen, too busy telling me what I can and can't do."

"I already said she was wrong, Faith. Lets try and not repeat, ok?"

"Sorry."

She smiles. Which is cool, cos I kinda felt like she was telling me off. Strange feeling.

"She was scared you were leaving her. Everybody leaves her one way or another, everyone she loves, has loved. Ya gotta understand why she went wacko."

I never said I didn't understand. I get it. But she just wouldn't listen... how's that gonna work every time we have a disagreement. We would end up killing each other.

"So what do I do?"

"What do you want to do?"

Sleep. I want to sleep.

"I don't know. Everything... the way I feel, it all says `love her', but `this'... it's just not how I envisioned it would be. I didn't see picket fences, but I saw maybe a bit of happiness... a lot less aggro."

"Things have been crazy, Faith. I mean, just today we saved the world... again. That's a big deal...although the amount of times we've done it? Kinda old hat now. But still... things aren't exactly normal, emotions are running high..."

"Are things ever normal?"

"Maybe not, but more normal? Sometimes."

"I think I just need to chill. Take a few days, sort my shit with Angel... then who knows?"

"But you will come back?"

And that's the question.

"I think so. I don't know. I want to. It feels like home ya know... apart from B, it still feels like home."

"It is home."

"I guess. I just hate my head feeling so fucking screwed up all the time."

We lapse into silence. Just me with my screwed up head. Rewind the day. Just rewind the fucking day.

I wonder how Buffy's gonna feel when she wakes up and I'm gone. Maybe her head is as screwed up as mine. I just wish she could've listened, then I could've explained, and I would be in her bed now. Sleeping.

Tomorrow. Today...all I'm gonna do is sleep.

Buffy's Pov

Oh my god.

That's me, waking up, and... Oh. My. God!

What have I done? Am I the stupidest person on the planet? Let me answer that... YES!

My heart reached for her as soon as I woke, my arms quickly followed. Then my brain caught up. Oh how I hate the brain this morning.

They say that when you die your life flashes before you... well nothing can compare to the flashbacks I just had from yesterday. And I know... I've died. More then once. I got all of it, in glorious Technicolor beauty.

The morning... me taking Faith. The school... saving the world. The rain... Faith loves me. The bathroom... oh yeah, Faith `really' loves me. The bedroom... I am a fucking imbecile.

I see where it all went wrong. The bedroom should have been the icing on the cake. The cream on the gateaux. But I lost it... I really, totally, lost it.

I just... the thought of her leaving. Couldn't cope, wouldn't cope... screwed everything up. I have to laugh when I remember `telling' her she couldn't go. Like she would ever listen to orders from me... how long have I known her? That girl doesn't take orders from anyone, it's not her nature. But I thought... I thought she would see, that she would understand why I was issuing the orders... not because I want to control her, but because I need her. I need her here, with me. Not in fucking LA. And what's the appeal with LA? Is it really that much better then me? I could make a questionnaire... send it to Angel and Faith... they could list the benefits that it has over me, and I could learn.

I bet it's the Hollywood sign... it's so much bigger then me, how can I ever compete?

I'm not gonna think of it as irreparable damage though... nope, no way... I'm gonna get my ass out of bed... and I'm gonna make her pancakes. She seems to love her morning pancakes... then I'm going to apologise. Sincerely. And then I will swear to her that I love her. Because that's what she asked me to do.

And if she doesn't believe me...? I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to her. I'll be like a bad stain she can't wash away, a really nasty grass stain... except less green, and not really nasty... and I'll keep on and on, and possibly on, until she sees. That I. Love. Her.

Half of me feels so crap because of last night, but I also feel so amazingly happy... because she loves me. She told me she loves me. I didn't think she would ever tell me that, not really. I hoped... maybe prayed, that she would... but with all our 'crap', I never truly believed she would. Not like that.

So yes. Pancakes. Lots and lots of pancakes.

And where is she?

I've checked everywhere, I've looked everywhere, I waited the kind of time that maybe she might have been out for... but where is she?

She can't have left already... it's early, and I haven't had the chance to say sorry... she can't have left. Please?

Willow. She will know, she's always `miss early bird'... maybe she saw her, talked to her, knows what the hell is going on.

So where's Willow? If they've been sucked into some portal whilst I was sleeping, then I'm gonna be mighty damn pissed. Portal masters beware... pissed slayer coming through!

"Morning, Buffy"

A-HA!

"Tara... where is everyone?"

"Everyone?"

Hmmm, avoidance of eyes... she knows where the portal is... maybe `she' is the portal master.

"Ya know... Willow, red headed girl, kinda quirky, kinda cute..."

"Oh right."

Is that my answer... do I need to use torture? Maybe I'll fix 'her' the pancakes!

"'Oh right', meaning...?"

"Well, she had to go out."

Do you ever get the feeling that something is afoot, and you're not privy to it? I'm getting that feeling.

"Out where? It's kinda early for morning outings... unless you jog. Is she jogging?"

"Buffy, I think you should sit down."

Why? I like standing. It facilitates pacing. And I'm pacing. Almost jogging.

"Why do I need to sit down, Tara? What's going on?"

"Sit down, I'll fix pancakes, and then we'll talk."

"What's going on?"

Why do I need pancakes? I was going to make `sorry' pancakes...I wonder what kind Tara is making?

"Please sit down?"

Ok. Not liking. Maybe there really is a portal. I'm gonna sit.

"Tara...?"

"Willow went to LA."

"What? Faith was going to LA... why has Willow gone to LA? What the heck `is' it with LA?"

I am confused.

"Faith's gone to LA..., Willow kind of took Faith to LA."

Thank god I'm sitting down.

"You wanna run that by me again... I could of sworn you said that `Willow took Faith to LA'. Now I know that can't be right... cos Wills wouldn't do that, not without telling me. And why would she take Faith to LA anyway? Help me out here Tara?"

"Well, uh, Faith was upset, and she asked if Willow would take her... and she said yes."

"And this happened when? And I wasn't told, why?"

"Buffy... it wasn't a case of telling you. Faith was hurting, and she asked. Willow had to take her, if she hadn't... I would have."

"Huh?"

I think I may have woken up in an alternative reality.

"We heard the fight... last night. She wanted to leave, she needed space... so Willow took her."

"Last night?"

"Yes."

This can't be happening. Please don't let this be happening.

"But... I was going to say sorry. I was going to make it right... I was gonna make pancakes."

"You were gonna make it right by making pancakes?"

"It was a start... there would've been much grovelling, and apologising... possibly servitude. I don't believe this..."

"You can still make it right, Buffy."

I can?

"But she's in LA... I'm thinking the pancakes won't taste so good time they get there."

"Maybe you should forget the pancakes. I don't think Faith is that concerned with pancakes."

"What do I do?"

"I can't answer that Buffy. That's kinda one of those one's you have to work out for yourself."

"When is she coming home?"

Please tell me she's coming home.

"Uh... I don't know. Willow is gonna be home later. She was going to sleep for a bit, then she's coming home."

"And Faith?"

I can tell by the look. I can see she doesn't have the words I want to hear.

"I don't know, Buffy. She needs space, she needs time."

"But I `need' her."

And I do. I need her so much, that any second now...? I am going to be crying my heart out.

"That's good. That's something you need to tell her... cos the things you said to her last night... they weren't good things."

"You heard it all?"

"Thin walls."

"Right."

I feel like I've just been punched. This can't be happening... but it is, and it's all my fault. I am such a fucking dope.

The tears are there. Pushing their way out. Forcing their way out. And I don't have the heart to stop them... my heart is somewhere on the floor. I put it there. Me and my fucking stupid mouth.

Tara is there. Trying to scoop it up. But it doesn't want her. She can't fix it.

"Hey sweetie, come on... it's not all bad. You can talk to her... tell her you're sorry."

"She obviously doesn't want to talk to me... does she? If she wanted that, she would be here. And she isn't here. She's in LA."

"She needed the space... I think she was worried things would just get worse if she stayed... that you would fight more. You have to understand, Buffy... what you said to her, it hurt. The things she said to you..."

"I don't care what she said to me... I deserve what she said to me."

"Neither of you deserved any of it. That's the point... I don't think she wanted to hurt you, to say things to you she didn't mean. So she left."

"Oh god, what have I done?"

I need to scream. I need to punch and kick and scream until this pain stops. I can not take this pain.

"It'll be ok, Buffy. Just give her the time she needs, she'll see. You love each other, that's what's important here."

"And if I've fucked it? If it's too late for that. God, Tara... do you know how much it took for her to tell me she loves me... and I threw it back at her. I stamped all over it. What if that's it. What if she sees that loving me isn't worth it?"

"Do you really believe that?"

Do I? Maybe. I'm not so big on the loving myself right now. I don't see why she would be. In fact? Self loathing... I think I might just own that phrase.

"I don't know Tara. I just need to make it better, and I don't know how."

"Talk to Willow when she gets home. She's been with Faith... maybe she can help?"

And maybe she can't. Maybe no one can.

"Do you think I should go to her?"

"To LA?"

"Yeah."

"I think you should give her the space she wants. When she's ready... then you can go to her."

"Tara... I think I really hate myself."

And now I really cry. All of it. Everything. The absolute stupidity of me.

Tara holds me. Of course she does. But I know, and she knows, that these aren't the arms that will make it better. Hers aren't the words to soothe my pain.

I need Faith. I really fucking need Faith.

Willow's Pov

Not looking forward to this. Nope. Not even a little, less then that.

I know Buffy is waiting for me. If I tried to count the number of missed calls I've had from her whilst I was driving...? I don't think even I can count that high. I'm hoping Tara managed to keep her calm. Less likely to kill me... cos that is still scaring me a little. Or a lot.

She's in her room. Dawn said she's been there since this morning. Probably stretching her limbs out ready for a good beating. In between hitting repeat dial on the phone.

Ok. Knocking on door. Ready to duck and cover.

"Go away!"

"Uh... Buff... it's me. Willow. You want me to..."

And the door is open, and she is there, and now she's in my arms, and goddess, she looks broken.

"Hey Buff... come on, hey I've got ya..."

This is not good. A beating I was ready for. Broken Buffy... not liking, not liking one little bit.

I take her to the bed and sit down. I want this to stop. It hurts to see her in pain.

"It's ok Buffy... it's all gonna be ok."

And she looks at me with so much hope in her eyes.

"It's gonna be ok? Please tell me she's coming home, Willow."

"Hey, of course she's coming home you big dope. Ya think she could stay away from you?"

"I would."

"Well then, I'd say it's a darn good job she's not you."

"When, Wills? When is she coming back?"

And there we have a slightly harder question.

"I don't know... but she said she would call... when she's ready."

"Oh."

"She just needs space, Buff... she was kind of hurting a lot last night, what you said to her... that stuff isn't easy to hear."

I know this is gonna add to the hurt, but she needs to hear it. The way she spoke... so out of line, very far over the line... line barely still visible kind of over it.

"You think I don't know that? You think I haven't been sat here all day, wishing I could go back and change things? But Will... she was leaving me. I couldn't stand it, not her leaving."

And now I get to deliver the punch line...

"She wasn't leaving."

"What? She was... she was leaving for LA. That was what started the crap."

Look at that slightly confused look she's wearing... oh Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. So very silly.

"Nope. She wasn't leaving. She couldn't leave you. She was going to go and see Angel... tell him about you... and then she was coming back. She wasn't leaving you, Buffy."

"Oh shit! Fucking, fucking shit..."

Uh-huh.

"...am I the worlds biggest idiot or what?"

"Maybe not the biggest... but I would say ya maybe come a close second. You should've listened to her Buff... given her the chance to explain."

"My god... shoot me?"

"Would mess up the carpet."

"Smother me?"

"Hey, come on... ya think Faith's gonna want a cold body to come home to?"

"She's really coming back?

I think so. She sounded a lot more positive after some snoozing. Amazing how sleep can always make things seem better.

"She loves you, Buffy. The whole journey... it was all about making it better, making it right. She wants `this'. She wants `you'. She just needs the space to think things through... and ya know...?"

"What?"

"Maybe you should think things through too... cos this whole angst fest you have going on together, it's not good. Not healthy. It kinda takes the fun out of being together."

"Certainly does."

I hope she's listening. Really listening. They need each other, but not like this. Faith needs more... she deserves more, and so does Buffy.

"So you're gonna...?"

"I'm gonna sort myself out, and when Faith's ready to come home... I'm gonna make it right. Make it better. All the things she wants."

"Good girl."

"Good girl? You going all Giles on me?"

"It's the advice thing... it's making me feel aged."

"You're looking a bit worn..."

"And that would be the almost no sleep, saving of the world, followed by a road trip... caused by you! I'm thinking maybe less with the insults."

"Thank you, Wills. For looking after her. I mean it. Thank you."

And to think I was expecting a beating.

"What are best buddies for huh?"

"Fetching of ice cream from freezer... the collecting of spoons?"

The Buffy I know and love.

"Ya mind if I see Tara first... I kinda miss my honey too, I lost valuable snuggle time for you!"

"Bring her with you... we can both snuggle."

She wants to snuggle too? But Tara is my snuggler... exclusively mine.

"Ya not gonna get all frisky are ya, Buffy? Not looking for a repeat of the bathroom? Cos Tara, she's mine. All mine."

She's blushing, she's blushing... this is too fun. Never have I had this power. I like this power... not too much. But I like it!

"The bathroom?"

"Do not even attempt to play coy with me, Miss Summers! We all heard... and when I say all... let me tell ya, poor Xander... he's not gonna be able to look at you for a week."

"Oh... and uh, Giles?"

"Everybody."

"She made me do it!"

That is the lamest defence I have ever heard.

"Funny that Buff... she kinda made it sound like you made her do it!"

"She did? And did she... err, say anything else?"

I am laughing. I am laughing so darn hard. She is so fishing for info... now I could torture her...

"She said your nails were a real nice colour!"

"What? She said that? She said my nails were nice?"

"Uh-huh... and she asked if I ever take `pretend showers'... what is a `pretend shower', Buffy? Cos it sounded `really' good, and I'm thinking... maybe I should try that. Maybe get some `pretend shampoo'... do ya need `pretend shampoo'?"

I gotta stop, I don't wanna stop... but I must. It is cruel to tease. Really cruel.

"You are evil! My best friend is an evil witch."

"And my best friend is a freaky super human, who indulges in imaginary play... quite a pair huh?"

It's good to see her smiling. And I think things are gonna work out.

Maybe not today... but when Faith's ready. I really hope so... I like Faith, and she provides me with the best ammunition for teasing Buffy. And I am evil. Buffy said so... I guess that means I can keep on teasing?

But first... Tara. Then ice cream. Then Buffy.

And it's a shame I'm not really evil... cos Tara, Buffy `and' ice cream...

Now there's an idea.

Pov None.

She had been there for more then a whole day now. Thirty six hours since she had left Sunnydale. Since she had left Buffy. And still she hadn't had the `talk' with Angel.

It had been easy to avoid it the first day, after all, she had not left the comfort of the bed. When she had said she wanted to sleep all day, she had sure as hell meant it. But now was different. Now she was up, and she was bright eyed, and there was no way that Angel wasn't going to want to `talk'.

Being in his apartment, within the building of Wolfram and Hart, that was making her uneasy. These were the people that had wanted her dead. Had sent assassins after her. Heck, these were the people that had paid her to kill Angel. She really didn't understand what the deal was here. Had no idea what would ever make Angel take the helm of `Evil Incorporated'. It just didn't seem `right'.

Her private musings were interrupted by the man himself, smiling as he entered the room, obviously glad to see her up and about.

"Faith, you're up."

"Certainly looks that way, don't it?"

"Right. So... you ready to talk?"

She thought about answering `no', he had made it sound like she had a choice, but really? She knew she didn't. What had to be said, had to be said. End of. She also wanted the lo down on the whole selling out deal `and' she wanted to know why it was so damn imperative that she be here. The world was full of slayers now... he could have his pick.

"`Ready' might not be the word, but yeah... I can do talking."

"Good to hear it. So how was Sunnydale?"

There were so many ways she could answer that question. She hadn't even managed to arrange all the different explanations in her head.

"It was kinda crazy... full of vamps, preachers `and' The First."

Angel just looked at her dead pan. That wasn't what he had been asking, and he was quite sure that Faith knew that. Which meant she was avoiding.

"I know that Faith... I was there just a couple of days ago, met Caleb... remember? Brought the amulet, which helped save the world."

"Right."

"So apart from that, how was Sunnydale?"

"Sunny?"

"Faith."

"Sorry, Angel... just playing with ya. And it was raining when I left."

He didn't say anything to that. He watched her eyes darting around the room, looking for an escape, looking for a way out. It intrigued him what could be bothering her so much. What could be making her want to run.

"It was good. It was good to be back, which I never thought I'd say... the Scoobs were all cool, it was even kind of fun having the potentials... the slayers around. Working with them, teaching them... it felt good. A bit full on, too many girls... but good."

"And Buffy?"

Faith dropped her eyes to the floor. How could she even begin to explain this one?

"Buffy's good. We sorted out some crap... moved past hating."

"You never hated her, Faith."

She `hated' it when he made statements at her. Told her things he shouldn't know. She hated it even more when he was right, which was surprisingly often.

"Whatever. Doesn't matter now does it... we moved past it."

"That's good. The way Buffy held onto her rage towards you, it was never good, never healthy. If she's managed to move on from there, it can only be a positive thing."

"Yeah. Really positive."

Except Buffy still seemed to have quite a lot of rage the last time she had seen her. So not all positive.

"So you're friends then?"

She thought about that. Were they friends? At the moment she didn't know what they were. She knew they loved each other, there was no point denying `that' anymore. They had both spoken the words. More then once.

She had to tell Angel. She sure as hell didn't wanna... but she had to.

"We kinda moved past `friends', as well, Soulboy."

He didn't keel over in the shock she had expected. His eyes didn't widen, he didn't start shaking uncontrollably, steam didn't erupt from his ears. In fact, he didn't look particularly bothered at all. Barely moved.

"I wondered as much."

"Huh? You did?"

"I'm not stupid, Faith. Nor deaf. I heard the way you spoke to each other in the temple. The electricity in the air. The looks you were giving me for kissing her 'hello', I'd have to be really `dead' to miss those pointers."

"Do ya wanna kick my ass?"

"Why would I want that?"

"It's Buffy, man. I `know' the sitch... you and her, from here to eternity..."

Angel shook his head, he couldn't let her go on.

"That just shows you don't know the `sitch'... Buffy and I, that's been finished a long time... and yes, I have regrets... but I moved on, Faith. I could never `be' with Buffy. I left Sunnydale because I knew that... because `we' knew that. Who she chooses to be with... that's her choice, nothing to do with me anymore. Am I shocked it's you?... yes and no."

She felt almost speechless. Angel had moved on from Buffy? She knew herself, that she could `never' move on from Buffy. Never.

"Yes `and' no?"

"Yes. Her previous taste would lead me to think she'd be with someone more... manly."

"What ya telling me, soul boy? You got a problem with that?"

"No! I just didn't expect Buffy to be so... open to experiment."

"Fair point. So what's the `no'?"

He considered this for a moment. Cast his mind back to the times before. The times when they were just girls, just two slayers. So close. So in tune. So `right' for each other.

"Sometimes, Faith... sometimes life can be hard..."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I was getting there."

"Sorry."

"Sometimes life can be hard... we go through life struggling, never knowing quite what we're here for, where we're going... what we're doing. Everyday a new struggle... a new fight, looking for answers... searching for connections"

"Are we getting anywhere with this?"

She didn't mean to, but really. When he went off on one of his little pep talks, it drove her mad, and she knew that this had all the ingredients to be a full on, gonna take for ever, first class, Angel pep talk.

"You and Buffy have so much between you. So much that no one else can ever comprehend, it's there to see, even when you fight, when you hurt each other. Always a connection. So, no... am I really shocked? Not really."

"Must just be me then."

"What?"

"I was shocked... I mean, man... it's B. Buffy. I thought she'd always wanna kill me, never `love' me. Kinda freaky, huh?"

"It's only as `freaky' as you let it be Faith. Buffy has a good heart, always had have. It was only ever a question of time before she could forgive you... and I guess before she loved you."

"Maybe. Still freaked `me' out. I went there not looking for anything from her... just wanted to do my job and get out again... be a slayer, all the good things in life... but instead, I get love. Crazy town. I always knew it was a crazy town."

"I expect it might be less crazy now that the Hellmouth is out of action."

"Yeah, I guess." She thought a moment, she wanted to move on to the present situation... the problem of her in LA, why she was there, what he wanted from her... and what the hell was the deal with Wolfram and Hart? But first she had to ask again. Just to make sure.

"So, you're cool with this yeah? No pent up rage? Not gonna go all vampy on me for taking your honey?"

"Faith, Buffy is not my `honey'. My friend... I hope so. But not my honey." He thought back to when she was his honey, his girl... `always', but that time was long past... and he `had' moved on.

"And at least you won't lose your soul. That was always a problem in our relationship."

"Right. I'm probably gonna lose my mind... my souls still here though, present and accounted for."

His eyes went wide `now'. He had assumed that they hadn't been together yet. He had been there not two days ago, and he `knew' they hadn't been together then. He would've noticed the scent, he would've smelt them on each other.

"You ah... you and Buffy, you've already..."

"OH! I uh..." she wondered if it was possible to feel more uncomfortable.

"...I, we..."

"Wait. I wasn't asking. You don't have to tell me if you err..."

"Right... over share, yeah?"

"Yes."

They lapsed into silence. Faith felt a lot better now she didn't have the burden of telling him about Buffy hanging over her head. She was pleased he had taken it so well. She had expected a lot worse. But then her expectations of things were never that high.

"So, Soulboy?"

"Yes, Faith?"

"I gotta ask... I've been itching to ask... what the fuck is going on here?"

"Huh?"

"The living with evil shit... I mean come on..." she gestured to the room around her.

"...all this. Penthouse with a view to hell. What's that all about? You sold out on me?"

Now it was Angel's turn to feel uncomfortable. The deal he had made to join Wolfram and Hart, hadn't been easy. In his mind it had been necessary. The only option. For his son, he would probably have done anything... it still made him uncomfortable though. Still made him question which side he had found himself fighting on.

"It's not that simple, Faith. We have an opportunity here... a chance..."

"To dance with the devil?"

"No! We can change things... from the inside. We have resources... weaponry, things you can't even imagine... we can do a lot more good here then we were ever managing to do before."

"I don't like it. The good guys don't sleep with the bad guys... hell, I had to sleep with my eyes open all day yesterday... this place is bugging... definitely not the home of `good'."

"You need to give it a chance, Faith. Talk to the others, listen to what they say... this really is an opportunity for good... to do good."

"You really believe that?"

"I do."

She heard him say it, but she heard the moments pause as well. She didn't buy it. There was no way that Wolfram and Hart were sponsoring the side of good... to do good. It didn't make sense. It made a whole lot less then sense.

"I don't know, Angel. It just doesn't seem... `right'. I wouldn't work for them."

"So you're not going to stay?"

"I don't know." She had so much to think about, so many things to consider. Least of all Buffy. Her and Buffy.

"Things are crazy right now, I need time to think... to work out what I'm doing... where I'm going."

"You can stay here as long as you need to. I'd like you to stay a lot longer, to work with me."

"That means a lot big guy, but I don't know. I can't stay `here'. I hate this place... sorry and all, you may like the fancy smancy apartment... but me? This place is seriously wrong. I keep wondering if something's gonna jump out at me... my slayer senses are buzzing the whole time I'm here... it just feels wrong."

"I can get you somewhere else to stay... somewhere less `buzzing'."

"That would be a good start... but I'm not promising, Angel. I liked being in Sunnydale... and then there's Buffy. I can't just walk away from that... just give me time yeah?"

"Take all the time you need. I'm not pushing you... I just think it would be good for you, to be here... doing what's right. Redemptions a hard path..."

"Whoa! Stop there." She wasn't signing up for the redemption speech again. Had heard it way too many times.

"This isn't about redemption, Angel. I know that's your deal, and I respect that... but you gotta respect me too, I'm not all hung up on the past... what I did, the people I hurt... I live with that. I carry that with me, always... but I'm not gonna stop living, to make amends with the dead. That's not me anymore... crazy psycho girl... I'm a slayer, and that means doing good, doing what's right... because that's who I am. Not to balance the scales... to gain salvation. If I get that as well, I'm happy... if not, so be it. I can't spend my life brooding. Life's too short."

And she meant it. Her life could be a lot shorter then most, and she wouldn't spend it stuck in the past. She would do good, because she was good, not for anything else.

"I do respect you, Faith. But this is harder then you think, the temptations always there to go back to the dark."

"Maybe that's your issue then, because `I'm' not tempted. Occasionally I might wanna `off' some dude for looking at me wrong, but I figure that's human... just cos I think it, don't mean I'm gonna do it. Don't put your temptations on me, Angel... I just don't have them."

He studied the girl in front of him. The woman in front of him. It was hard to believe that this was the same person who had blown into Sunnydale all those years ago, the misguided youth, and pent up rage. She was so sure of herself now. So confident in her beliefs. He couldn't think of an argument to rebuff her claim. Maybe temptation was just his issue.

"So you say. Just don't ever underestimate Faith, the power of the dark side."

"You wanna put your Star Wars toys back in there box, Obi-Wan? I hear what ya saying... I'll take it on board... I ever need a guide to the ways of the light, you'll get my call, but until then?... just leave it out, yeah? The speech is outdated."

"The speech is over."

"That's good... I was getting a little itchy fingered, thought I might have to stake ya ass, to shut ya up!"

"It works better if you go for the heart."

She rolled her eyes at him, the saviour of her soul. She appreciated that he was there for her, had been there for her, but right now? She didn't need him. She was doing ok.

"So you gonna set me up somewhere to stay? I love the hospitality, but I'm ready to leave. As in, now."

"Ever heard of patience, Faith?"

"Over-rated. As I said... life's too short."

"The Hyperion is still there. Will that be ok?"

"Kinda big, just for me. I'd have to have parties... fill the rooms, that gonna be a problem?"

He didn't care if she had a thousand parties. The time she had spent here, after prison, had been good... and he'd like to see her stay around a bit longer. To see for himself that she truly was on the right path. The whole Buffy situation had thrown that into doubt, but then he didn't know how serious that was.

"No problem." He decided to broach the issue again.

"So is Buffy going to be invited to these parties?"

The quick flash of pain that danced across her eyes was there to see. Barely concealed.

"That's kinda why I'm here... to get away from that for a while. And to see you of course!"

"Right. I was quite impressed when you breezed in at three in the morning, when I said to Giles I expected you, I didn't expect you quite so quick." He observed her downcast look.

"But then I'm guessing the rush wasn't to see me. You want to tell me about it?"

"Not really." He may have said he was ok with it, but Faith wasn't keen on relationship counselling from him. Too strange.

"I think this is one for me alone. I just... everything got crazy, real quick... and then more crazy, and before ya know it, everything's fucked up... and I'm just gonna take some time. Get my shit together."

"Like I said, take as long as you need. Harmony can set you up with keys to the hotel, sort you out some cash. And if you need me?... you know where I am."

"Yeah... the evil law firm. Don't expect too many visits."

"You don't have to come here, Faith. I can come to you. Just know that I'm here, whatever happens, whether you choose to stay or not... I'm here for you."

It was nice to hear. It meant a lot. But she was never one for emotional `moments'.

"Ya gonna make me cry in a minute, Soulboy. We finished with the bonding?"

He smiled at her. He knew she wasn't big on opening up, never had been. But he had said it, and she had heard it, and so she knew it. If she needed him, he would be there for her.

"Bonding over. Do you need to get your stuff together?"

"You think I unpacked? Hell no! I'm ready to leave, just point me in the right direction."

"That's what I'm here for."

"You'd make a great traffic cop, learn the hand signals, you'd have everyone going the right way... you ever think about that, as a career option?"

"Funny, Faith."

"I'm all about the humour."

She gathered her bags and left the apartment, pleased to be gone. Walking through the lobby of the building, encountering all the `employees', her senses going into overdrive... it made her sure. This wasn't right. Angel shouldn't be here. She `wouldn't' be here.

She would go to the Hyperion. Relax a little. Take some time.

She couldn't put it off for long though. She had needed sleep, and she had slept. She had needed to talk to Angel, and now that was done. Now she had to think about Buffy, about what she was going to do, how she was going to do it. It was easier to think without her here. She had the time she had wanted in the first place. The time to think without distractions.

She decided she would call Red, tell her the sitch, give her a number to call if needed. Also she wanted to say hi to Kennedy, she had left without even a heads up.

Deciding whether she would talk to Buffy was harder. Maybe a passed on message would be best for now, she certainly didn't want her ass chewed off again, screaming down the phone. Buffy was probably pissed at her for leaving. It might be better not to talk to her until she had decided whether to return, when she would return.

It was hard though. She already missed her. Wanted to see her. Wanted to hold her. It hurt.

But so did the words they had said. And she wouldn't forget them. If they were going to do this, they would do it right.

She had so much to think about, so much to consider. That crazy little thing called love.

Buffy's Pov

Three days. No word. Not a word in three long days. Doesn't matter how I say it... it hurts all the same.

`Give her the space she wants'

I don't want to. The only space I want between me and Faith, is the kind where you're pressed really tight against each other, and air becomes a problem. Like no space. But I don't think that, that, is what Tara meant. Spoilsport.

I think she meant `real' space. Miles and miles apart space... space so unbelievingly large, that it feels like infinite space. My least favourite kind.

But what can I do?

I want to call her. But I can't. Willow said she will call when she is `ready'. Ready to `what' is a little more vague. Ready to come home? Ready to talk? Ready to say she's staying in LA? Ready to join a dancing troupe and make her money shaking her booty for the adoring public?... Just try and keep me out of LA!

The `nothing' is driving me crazy. In my head I have run through every possible single little scenario... every make up... every break up... every `hey! Nice dancing... and yep, here's a dollar... private dance? Why sure... out back? Lead the way'... type of situation possible.

It's not like I don't have things to keep me busy. I have `lots' of things. A whole contingent of newly formed slayers to unleash upon the world. `I' wanted to send them all away to Outer Mongolia... Giles assures me though, that there is no immediate demon problems out that way. Conjure them, I say... what's the point in having a kick ass witch for a friend, if she can't be used for conjuring demons every now and then? Some people have no vision!

But no... the `Revello Drive camp for displaced slayers', is still going strong. And I feel like head girl. I never knew that Giles had such faith in my intellect and wisdom... `I' never knew I had intellect and wisdom... but now, every time the girls ask a question, want some help with their `demon studies', a few pointers with their training... `ask Buffy, ask Buffy... everybody ask Buffy'... well Buffy has left the building.

Or Buffy would like to leave the building. Please?

Field trip to LA, anyone?

I appreciate the importance... and in the long run? Lots and lots of slayers at large?... gotta be a good thing... it's just... well, I normally get a little breather after apocalypses, a little down time... a little `take it easy Buff, put your feet up', but this time? Nope. Just work, work, work.

I prefer the old system.

I did think about sneaking away, running giddily into the night, breaking the chains of burden... but then I remembered... I'm waiting for Faith to call. So call already.

Just a hello. I'd even settle for an awkward silence... heavy breathing, no words necessary. Anything? Nope. Nothing.

She must `know' I'll be going insane... and maybe that's her plan. A defunct Buffy... far too crazy to even have the ability to shout and scream and curse and all other things unpleasant. I'll sit drooling in the corner, and she can occasionally lean over and wipe the mess. A beautiful relationship. At least she would be here.

I can't sleep.

It's the worst at night, because then I know... I know that she should be here. And I don't know if I want her to hold me, or if I want to hold her the most... I just know that there would be holding. And at the moment there isn't. So I lie awake... thinking, thinking and more thinking. Also chastising. I do that a lot too. Stupid, stupid Buffy. Don't I know it.

I just want to apologise already.

I am so god damn sorry.

I wonder if there is a limit on the space giving. Like maybe four days is appropriate. After that it's all bets off. Four days seems like long enough, anything more and she might think that I have forgotten her. Anything more and I might think she has forgotten me.

Maybe I could write... that doesn't involve the invading of space. How many times can you fit `sorry' onto a sheet of paper? Or maybe it should be one giant `SORRY'. I wonder which carries more weight? I'll do both. Hedge my bets.

Arghhhh! Definitely skating close to crazy.

Sleep. I really, really want to sleep. Or lightly snooze... or anything that doesn't involve thinking.

Anything to forget... just for five minutes, just to forget, how stupid I am.

"Morning Wills."

"Oh, hi Bu... oh my goddess, you look like crap!"

"And thank you for taking the time out of your morning schedule to fill me in on that little gem... no really, Wills... I feel better already."

I know I look like crap. No need to point that one out.

"Sorry Buffy... I just mean, you don't look you're normal perky morning self, not crap... more uh... less perky?"

"Crap's fine. I'm projecting."

"Oh. Right. So no word yet then, no?"

"No."

Definitely no word yet.

"Well I'm sure she'll call soon... she's probably just getting settled, honestly, the size of that place, she's probably still getting used to it."

"LA?"

"No... Wolfram and Hart."

Ah yes, of course. Angel's new project. The head of an evil law firm... bet that's working out well.

"Did she say when she would call?"

She's looking all confused.

"I told ya Buffy... about six thousand times... she just said she would call. No time. No date. Just that she would."

"Kinda inconsiderate don't ya think?"

"You want me to answer that?"

"No, you're ok. I know how it goes... give her space, she needs space. Well what if she doesn't Wills? What if me giving her space is wrong? Maybe this is hurting her as much as me, and she needs me to call her? A possibility maybe?"

It's quite sweet that she is making the attempt to pretend that she is seriously considering this. I'm just looking for back up on my `four day rule', I don't really expect her to agree with me... heck, even I don't agree with me.

"Err... maybe. But I think you need to give her a little longer. A few more days."

"How many?"

"Uh... I don't know. A few."

Wow. That advice kinda sucked. I wanted something concrete.

"What do you think to `five'?"

"Five more days?"

Not likely.

"I meant five in total, cos I was gonna go with four... but I think you might be right... four is so not right, but five... now five is a number I can work with... it's Faith's number, right? So waiting five days... that could be perfect."

If she keeps looking at me like I'm crazy, I'm gonna start practising the drooling.

"I... uh, maybe five would be ok. But you don't wanna jump the gun... if you call her too soon, she might feel pressured... I don't think you want to pressure her."

Do, do ,do!

"No. That would be wrong. No pressuring."

"Just give it a bit longer, you know she is going to call..."

I almost fall off of the chair when the phone rings.

Should I race to it just in case? Would that be too eager? She likes me eager... so yes, running for phone...

"Hello!... slayer central, home of all things slayer like, Buffy speaking, how can I help?"

I go for humour. I'll remind her how fun I am, how much of a joy to be around... I'm not all about the cursing. No. Just a great big bundle of fun.

*"Uh... hello. Your err... house has been picked from a list of properties, to be given the opportunity to test out a new range of exciting garden products... um... this is 1630 Revello Drive, yes?"*

`Exciting new garden products'... like... trowels? Confusing. And not Faith.

"Sorry, wrong number... this is uh... 1540 um..."

I look around for inspiration. Anything?

"...big sharp axe avenue..."

Yeah, that will be the one. Look it up in the directory... it's right after `please institutionalise me, now, for all our safety' avenue. Lovely area. Just right for the imbeciles.

*"Ok, sorry Ma'am, for taking your time... you uh, have a nice day now!"*

The lady thinks I'm crazy. I can tell. I think I'm crazy. Any minute now... drooling for sure.

"So it wasn't Faith then?"

"No. Not Faith... Wills?"

"Uh-huh?"

"What are `exciting new garden products'? Is there such a thing?"

Again she is humouring me by taking the time to think.

"Hmmm, maybe a new type of trowel... I don't know. Were old trowels unexciting?"

The phone starts ringing again, before I have the chance to answer. I knew it would be a trowel thing.

She's looking at me waiting for my sprint. I'm not getting caught again.

"You go, Will. Ya know it's just the same lady... maybe you can ask her about the trowels?"

"I'll be sure to."

I should have just said that she had the right number, but I wasn't interested. But nope, I have to go all `big shiny axe avenue' on her. At least Willow can ask about the trowels.

"Hello?"

Much better intro then I had going. Slightly saner.

"Oh... hi, how 'are' you?"

How is she? Does she know the garden lady?

"No, that's ok. I guessed you were settling... I wasn't ready to send out the search party just yet."

That isn't the garden lady.

"I could of found ya... I'm a witch... remember?"

She's talking to Faith. Oh my god. What do I do? Casually wander over and wrestle the phone from her grasp?... no, too extreme... I'll knock her out with one quick hit, then take the phone... much quicker then wrestling... much less err... `extreme'.

"The Hyperion? I thought you were staying with Angel?"

So did I. Give me the phone, Willow. Please?

"No, we've got the number... and yeah, I get that. Wolfram and Hart... not my choice for a vacation either."

Vacation? Is this a vacation. I didn't get vacation!

"I don't know where she is right now... you want me to look?"

I'm here, I'm here. You know I'm here, Wills. Look... me, jumping up and down in your eye line... can't miss me.

"I think so. Giles has them training `all' the time. Her and Rona are still making with the snuggles... I'll let her know you're gonna call then though, and I'm sure she'll be waiting."

Her and Rona? Oh... Kennedy.

Willow is looking at me, I'm pleading with her, via my very pleading eyes. Give me the phone!

"Yeah... uh... she's err... good."

Who's good? Give me the god damned phone already!

"She's kinda here, right now... if you wanted to err... say hi?"

Oh, me. Of course she wants to say hi. It's me. Buffy.

"Oh right... no, I'll tell her... you're sure, yeah?"

That doesn't sound like `hi'.

"No. She'll understand."

I don't understand. What the heck am I supposed to be understanding.

"I can tell her that too... I can tell her now if you want?... she is standing right here, intent staring and everything."

Do not mock me Willow... now is not a good time.

"Ok, Faith. Calm yourself. I'll tell her in a minute."

How long is a minute?

"Alright then... I'll speak to you soon, and no, I won't forget."

Forget?

"I won't forget that either."

This is torture.

"Ok... speak soon. Say hi to Angel."

How about saying `hi' to Buffy. I'm still here.

"Bye Faith. Bye,"

I'm not getting that `hi' then.

"Willow, please tell me that, that, was the garden lady, and you just played a really horrible joke on me, for which I shall now have to kill you?"

I smile a little to soften the death threat. It works sometimes. I practice on the vamps.

"Uh, no. Not the lady of the garden."

"So it `was' Faith."

"Uh-huh. Definitely was."

"Right... and she didn't want to talk to me because..."

"Err... it's not that, Buffy. She just said she wasn't ready yet, she would call when she was ready. Call you, when she was ready."

That's it. Three days... and that's it. I mean... it's better then the nothing I had not five minutes ago... but still...

"She did have a message for you though... if you wanted it?"

Huh?

"A message... for me? And you haven't told me yet?"

She's been off the phone for like thirty seconds. Come on Willow, no slacking.

"Well I asked if she wanted to give it to you herself... but she got kind of flustered, I think she was shy... do you think it could have been shy? I never would of picked faith for shy... but then, time was... I never would have picked Faith for sane... so you never know, and it did sound kind of shy and..."

"Willow!"

"What?"

Do not look at me confused, I want my message. You must give me the message `before' you run out of air!

"The message."

"Oh... right. Sorry."

"That's ok. Really... the message?"

"She said to tell you that, `she misses you.'"

"She misses me?"

"That's what she said."

She misses me. Can I dance... just a little? Cos Woo-hoo... she misses me.

"Did she mention how much?"

"Uh... no."

"Oh."

"But it sounded like lots... a whole heap of lots. Definitely lots of missing going on!"

"But no idea when she's gonna speak to me?"

"When she's ready?"

"Not helping Wills."

"Sorry... if it's any help, she's calling back tonight to speak to Kennedy. Maybe she'll feel ready then."

And maybe no one is answering a phone in this house ever again, until I have spoken to her.

"Right... and the time for that would be?"

Willow's smiling like she knows my plan. Darn her clever brain!

"Buffy... you think manning the phones is the way to go? She said she misses you... she said she is going to call you... just relax. Give her..."

"Space! Yes Willow, I know... lots of infinite space."

"I was going to say `time'."

Grrrr.

"Whatever. It's just hard. I just miss her so damn much, Wills. I just wanna hear her voice... just a `hello'... I could cope with that."

"Hey... Buffy... I do know, ok? Remember... me and Tara... and the crazy waiting by the phone... desperate for anything... just a `hello'?"

How could I forget. And we'd see Tara, and it was so hard. Never knowing what to tell Willow, whether it was better not to tell Willow. Thank god they sorted that out. Too much not knowing.

"Of course I remember."

Now she gives me big Willow smiles.

"And so you remember how that all worked out... because I gave her the space she needed?"

Wise old friends. How I love them so.

"Right. So no manning of the phone?"

"Definite no-no."

"And no dialling her number, accidentally, and offering free garden equipment?"

That's it Wills, shake your head at the poor crazy girl.

"I don't think you would fool her, Buff."

"Damn!"

"I do have a little suggestion... a slight idea."

"Anything appreciated."

"Well if she's phoning Kennedy later... and she did give you a message... wouldn't it be a good thing if you maybe gave a message to Kennedy, to give to Faith?"

Ouch. That's gonna take some doing. Me asking Kennedy for a favour... although... saving her life? She owes me one. Swallow the pride Buffy... swallow the pride.

"Buffy? You ok?"

"What?... yeah, sorry."

"That's ok. You just looked a little ill then... like you had a horrible taste in your mouth."

If I could laugh... I swear I would wet myself.

"Nope, all fine."

"Good. So the message...?"

"Great idea Wills, oh cunning planner of plans!"

"What ya gonna say?"

The list is so long. Where should I start?

"I don't know yet. Gonna go think about it, make sure it's the perfect message, ya know?"

"Good idea."

The phone starts ringing again as I leave the room. I almost forget that I'm not on a phone manning mission anymore... I'm on a message planning mission now. Yay!

Willow can take the call.

"Hello?"

She shoots me a `look' as I make my retreat.

"Yes, this is Revello drive.... No, really?... `big axe avenue'? never heard of it."

And now I do laugh.

"Exciting new garden products... like?"

Ask about the trowel Wills, ask about the trowel!

"An extendable trowel... sounds a dream..."

My day just got a thousand times better.

Maybe infinite space just got a little less wider?

She misses me. That's got to be a good thing.

Now my message... it's like playing Chinese whispers...

What's Chinese for `I miss you too'?

Pov None.

The blonde slayer watched as the new girls wound up their afternoon bout of training. Giles had them on quite a heavy schedule, keen to see the level of their slaying abilities, to work out which were ready for field duties, which would need the most work to prepare for coming battles. It was hard work, yet the girls seemed to relish this. Having just been handed their `super powers', they themselves were also keen to learn the new limits to which they could push their bodies, how fast they could be, how strong they could be. Unlike many slayers before them, they had known that the power was coming, had already been aware of the kind of fight they were involved in, so now that they had it, they didn't need to take time to adjust... they were ready, all of them, slayers.

Watching from the sidelines, Buffy almost envied them. She remembered her own time of calling, the difficulty of trying to balance a `normal' life, with the burden of the `job'. The feeling of being alone, of being able to relate to no one, the feeling that the whole weight of the world rested on her young shoulders. These girls would never know that, would never truly comprehend how lonely the life of a slayer could be... because their lives would not be lonely. They had each other.

She envied them, but she also felt good for them. That they would never have to know that feeling was something she was thankful for. She wished that she had never had to know that feeling, that even now, surrounded by so many like her... wished it was something she still didn't have to feel. The loneliness.

But she did. These were her sisters in arms, but she didn't feel connected to them, didn't feel that bond that had sprung up almost immediately with Faith.

Her introspective musings were broken up by Giles dismissing the girls.

What seconds before had been organised chaos, quickly became that of the unorganised kind... definitely another reason to have them on a tight schedule. Too much down time, for a large group of teenage `super human' girls, was just too hectic. All buzzing around like bees in a hive... desperate for something to do, something to fight, something to slay.

It would almost be a good thing when the local vampire and demon population had increased it's number to pre apocalyptic levels... that would certainly give everyone something to do... other then fighting each other over what to watch on T.V., who's turn to take the first shower... who had eaten the last of the cereal, drunk the last of the milk. So many trivial things for them to take their aggression out on. It was exhausting.

Buffy watched as Kennedy spoke to Giles as the other girls left. She was here to speak to her herself. To ask a favour. To swallow her pride, and ask a favour. So simple. Yet it was tying her stomach in knots.

She watched as Giles left, and Kennedy turned to go. It was now or never.

"Hey Kennedy... you mind if I get a word?"

"With me?"

"Well unless you've got an invisible friend lurking around here somewhere, I'm thinking `with you', would be a good place to start."

The dark haired girl couldn't help but look surprised. Her and Buffy were not what you would call friends... much closer to enemies really, yet here the girl was, wanting to talk. Her curiosity was certainly raised.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I need to ask a favour."

Kennedy almost laughed out loud. This was too good. Buffy needed to ask a favour of her. It was classic, more then she could of hoped for.

"That's got to hurt."

"What?"

"Well... you, asking a favour of me. That's really got to stick in the throat."

"It's not pleasant." That being an understatement. She looked at Kennedy, and the urge to fight the girl was still as strong as ever. She hadn't forgotten the `Champions of Champions' spectacle... nor had she forgotten the hurt of hearing Kennedy at night with Faith... but she would have to forget, because her need of the favour was greater then her need to take some form of childish revenge. If Kennedy was a bitch though... well `then' revenge might be appropriate.

"Must be a pretty big favour, ya needing."

"Depends if you're weighing it up against saving your life."

"So it's not a favour then... more like... payback? You want me to even things up, for you saving my life...? Not very `super hero', Buffy."

"I never said I was a super hero, Kennedy."

"No, you just walk round acting like one."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Kennedy surveyed the older slayer in front of her. She wondered if she should push it. She remembered the feeling that if she got her slayer powers whilst Buffy was still in commission, she was going to kick her ass. She still wanted to... even with the life save.

"It means the way you walk around as if you're better then everyone else. As if everyone should worship at the feet of the great Buffy Summers."

"That's crap, Kennedy."

"Is it? So you don't think you're better then me, then?"

"No. Not particularly." She took a moment to collect her thoughts. She wasn't going to fight, but she didn't come here to roll over, either.

"But your attitude sucks. You come in here full of cockiness and bravado... all defiant. Yet I've earned my bravado Kennedy... if I act like I've seen it all before... it's because I have seen it all before. Did you ever think that maybe you could learn something from me, if you just shut up once in a while and listened?"

"No. The way you talk to us, doesn't really inspire the listening."

"I didn't come here to argue with you."

"Shame." Looking at the small blonde, Kennedy was deciding whether she could take her.

"Now I'm a slayer... I've got all this extra strength, I'm dying to test it out."

"If you remember the last time you wanted to get physical with me, I'm sure you can remember the outcome... maybe you should save your strength for someone that's not gonna kick your ass."

"And there you go again with the `I'm better then everyone' crap."

"This is ridiculous. I should of known it was useless asking for a favour from you."

She turned to leave. She certainly wasn't going to beg for favours.

"Aren't you even going to tell me what it was... and I thought it was payback, not a favour?"

As much as it was fun pissing Buffy off, she was still curious as to what the `favour' could be. If it had Buffy needing her help, it had to be big.

"Is it even worth asking?"

"Won't know till you try. I might say yes. I might not."

"It's Faith."

"Faith?" If Faith needed her help, she would be there in a second.

"Yes. Well kind of." How should she put this?

"It's me and Faith."

"You and Faith?" Her and Faith needed a favour. She was more then curious.

"What do you and Faith need me to do?"

"Well Faith doesn't really need you to do anything... I need you to do something for me, for Faith."

"Are you always this cryptic? You could just ask... it would be quicker."

"Right."

"So...?"

"I need you to pass on a message... on the phone, when Faith calls."

"And you can't pass this message on yourself... why?"

Buffy `really' didn't want to have to reveal all her relationship problems to Kennedy. The girl hadn't been here for the fight, hadn't heard her wondrous ripping into Faith, the way she had spoken to her, the things she had said. But she did want her favour, she did want her message passed on.

"Faith won't talk to me."

And Kennedy did laugh. Not a lot, but just a little.

"You two are so messed up. Honestly, if it's not one it's the other... do you enjoy hurting each other... is that it?"

"You don't know what you're talking about. You have no idea. I just want you to pass on a message... will you do that?"

"I don't think I want to... I think it's ridiculous. Two grown ups, two slayers, and you can't even have a conversation... what's the problem... you act all superior to her as well?"

"I do not act superior!" even as she said the words, she knew she wasn't being honest. Yes she had acted all superior, that's exactly what she had done, acted as though she knew best, as if it was her way, or no way.

"So why aren't you talking? Last time I saw Faith... she was all ready to make things work. So you must have done something."

"I don't think I want to have this conversation with you... either you'll pass on the message or you won't."

Kennedy shook her head, Buffy really was up herself... totally up herself.

"You're unbelievable. Maybe if `you' listened to me, you might learn something for a change."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you're not always right, that you don't always have the answers... it means that maybe if you told me what was wrong, I might be able to help."

"Why would you help me? We don't like each other... that's more then apparent, why would you `want' to help me."

It was a valid question. Passing on a message wasn't asking much, why Kennedy would want to do more, she couldn't understand.

"Maybe I want to help Faith. For some reason, you mean a hell of a lot to her... if I can help sort that out, stop you two from acting so damn stupid all the time, then I'm happy to do that. I want to do that. But I can't do that unless you tell me what's wrong."

Buffy considered. Maybe Kennedy was right. Maybe she could help. She certainly wasn't doing a great job on her own, that's for sure.

"I can't believe I'm doing this... talking to you."

"Me neither, but I promise not to make a habit of it... helping you."

"Fine."

"Fine." She took a seat on the floor and gestured to the blonde girl to do the same.

"So what's the problem... what went wrong?"

Buffy took the offered seat, swallowed all of her pride, and told Kennedy about the fight. She didn't edit it to make herself look better, she didn't want to. She knew how wrong she had been, she didn't need to hide that.

"Wow... you really said all of that? You `told' her she couldn't go, and you wouldn't even listen to what she had to say? And then you said that she came here 'just to fuck you'?"

"That's about the upshot of it, yeah."

"You really are pretty stupid... you and Faith have a lot in common."

"Ok, gonna disregard the stupid comment... will you help me? Will you pass on the message?"

"No."

Buffy's face registered the shock she felt. No? So why had she made her tell all, if she never meant to help?

"What do you mean, no? I thought you were going to help... that you wanted to help Faith? What was that... just bullshit to get one over on me?"

"Oh god... please shut up! I swear one day I `am' going to kick your ass... and I'm going to love doing it. If you give me a minute, I'll tell you why I won't pass on your little message. Ok?"

"You're never gonna kick my ass, Kennedy. Sorry." She couldn't let that go, had to make sure Kennedy knew.

"But the message... why not?"

"Because it's stupid. Really fucking stupid. If you want to speak to her, get your ass to LA, that's where she is... and imagine... talking face to face, how much more grown up then passing messages."

"You think I don't want that? You think if I had my way I wouldn't be there by now? This is what she wants Kennedy... I'm trying to do what she wants."

"She wants you."

"Not that simple."

"I swear I've had this conversation before... it is that simple. If you stop making it so damn complicated... it really is that simple. She doesn't need to be sitting on her ass in LA thinking about what she wants. She knows what she wants."

"So why is she in LA?"

"Because you made her leave." She shook her head again at the sheer stupidity, it was hard to believe that these were the people charged with keeping the world safe.

"You made her leave, and now it's your job to go and get her back."

"And if she won't come... I mean, heck, she might not even speak to me, she won't speak on the phone, why would she speak to my face?"

"Because she loves you... my god, you are so dumb."

"Will you quit with the stupid and dumb? Please?"

"Quit acting it then. Leaving Faith to stew, to sit and think all day... worst thing you could do. She isn't a thinker... she's an actions girl. You wanna get her to listen? Stop sitting on your ass, and go to her. Show her you're sorry... I know I'm not passing on some little message. `That' is stupid!"

"You really think I should go to her... to LA?" She wanted to believe that. Really wanted to. But everyone else had been telling her to wait, to give space, and time.

"You think she would want that?"

"I think she wants you. I think she's spent long enough telling herself she doesn't... you leave her to think too much, she might decide that she was right all along... that the pain isn't worth it. If you don't want that, I suggest you go to her as quick as your little slayer legs will carry you."

"I'm stupid."

"I know. I told Faith the same."

"You told Faith I was stupid?"

"I told Faith you were lots of things." She smiled as sweetly as she could.

"But no, I told Faith that she was stupid. Both are you are trying so hard to mess this up, it's crazy."

"You're probably right."

"Can I have that in writing?" Buffy Summers, saying she was right. Had to be a first.

"I'll hang it over the mantle piece."

"If you are right... if I get to LA and that's the right thing, you can have whatever you damn well want. Ok?"

"Sounds good. So you're going?"

"What's to lose? If she tells me to get lost, that she doesn't want to speak to me yet... then I'm where I am now."

"Exactly. So go already."

"I'm going." She pulled herself up from the ground, a determined set to her shoulders.

"One more thing though?"

"What? Thank you?"

"Uh... yeah. Thank you. One other thing?"

Kennedy just looked at her, she knew `thank you' wasn't what Buffy had been meaning.

"When you speak to Faith... don't tell her I'm coming, ok? Just tell her that I miss her too, that I need her. Will you do that?"

"I think I can manage that."

"Right. And thanks. I mean it... I didn't think I'd mean it... but thanks."

"No problem." She looked at Buffy, she still didn't like her, still thought she was up herself, but that wasn't important. Faith was her friend and she wanted to see her happy... if her choice was this jumped up, self important little Barbie doll, who was she to argue? Didn't mean she couldn't have a parting shot though.

"And I am still gonna kick your ass."

"I doubt it Kennedy, but it's nice to have ambition."

And now she was in the car, half way to LA. She still didn't know if she was doing the right thing. Willow hadn't thought it was the right thing, had almost pleaded with her not to go... to wait and give her time. Had reminded her of the Tara situation again... how that had all worked out because she gave her time. But Faith wasn't Tara. Kennedy was right. Faith was an actions girl... and if she wanted her to know how much she needed her... how sorry she was... she would have to show her, because words were cheap, words didn't mean anything... actions always speak louder then words.

She just hoped that Faith would give her a chance. Wouldn't shut the door in her face.Would give her the chance to show her that she really loved her.

Faith's Pov

Maybe I really should think about throwing a party. This place is so dead. So boring. So `what the heck am I doing here?' Thinking. That's it. I'm thinking.

Speaking to Willow on the phone this morning... all it made me do is realise how much I miss home. I miss Sunnydale. Crazy. But I do. Every minute I'm not thinking about her... I'm thinking about home. I miss my friends. I never had a lot of friends... now I do and I miss them. I miss everything.

Most of all I miss her. Buffy. It's so stupid. I thought I would tell her I loved her, and then it would be easy. I didn't realise it would all still be so hard. So messed up.

I wanted the fairytale ending. I don't believe in fairytale endings... but I wanted one. I figured we deserve one.

But no. I'm here, she's there, and I don't even have the courage to speak to her. When Willow said she was right there, right next to the phone, I panicked. Of course I wanted to speak to her... to tell her myself how much I miss her, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. Her words are still fresh in my mind, I have them playing on a loop, and I don't want to believe that she meant them... but maybe she did. Maybe she really does think I came there just to fuck her, to get my rocks off and then blow out of town... that I don't love her. And that hurts. Because I do love her. Because I want to love her.

Took me a damn long time to figure it out, but I figured it... and now she doesn't believe me?

I don't know if running away was the best thing to do, I just knew I couldn't stay there for more of the same. Couldn't listen to her attacking me, without striking back... and I'm so sick of playing that game. Of hurting each other. Surely there's a limit somewhere on how much hurt you can inflict on one person? Surely we've passed that limit. No more hurting... please?

God, she must be pissed at me. I wonder if she even believes that I miss her... if she even wanted my message. Willow said that she is `good', maybe me not being there is making her `good', so maybe running away was the best thing to do. Maybe I haven't got a fucking clue.

I need her so much. I wasn't lying when I said that she makes things better, she makes everything better for me... even with the hurting, I still need her. That's why I can't speak to her yet... I guess I'm scared she doesn't need me too, that the way she spoke to me goes to show that she doesn't really love me. Not like I love her.

Why is everything such a mess?

This sitting around thinking is bullshit. I thought it would help... the distance, the time, the space to work out what I want. Well I know what I want. I want her. I want her with me. Together.

Now I just need the courage to say that... knowing that she might not say the same. I think she will, I hope she will... but who knows?

I'm gonna ring Kennedy, I'm kinda hoping that, that will lift my spirits. Hopefully Buffy won't be standing right there, and she can give me the low down on what's going on... whether she really is `good'... maybe if she looks like she misses me too.

I swear if Buffy answers the phone I'm hanging up though. Or maybe I won't. Maybe she'll bitch at me some more, and get it out of her system. Maybe I can finally tell her that I was never coming to LA in the first place... that I never wanted to leave her. Ever.

Angel knows I'm not staying. He wants me to, and I get that... he wants to watch over me, make sure I'm doing ok. But I'm not ok... not without her... so I can't stay, can I? And it's not like Sunnydale is miles away... he can still keep an eye on me, if that's what he needs to do.

The phones ringing that end.

I want her to answer. But I don't.

*Hello*

Not her.

"Hi... it's Faith. Is Kennedy about?"

*Oh hi Faith... how's LA?*

"Not bad Dawn, not great, totally boring... but I'm coping. How's things your end?"

I wanna ask `how's Buffy'?

*Crazy as always. I want to know when the slayers are all leaving home... you'd think, apocalypse over... time to leave the Dale, but no, everyone seems to love the idea of sleeping ten to a room. Why do ya think that is?*

"Not a clue. Giles has got them all busy though, right? Training and everything?"

*Yeah, but it's not enough. Too much energy... too much `wanna slay' vibes, it gets kinda head achey.*

"Take an aspirin."

*Thanks Faith. Great help.*

Well what can I say? I know what it's like when ya need to slay, when your bodies itching for a fight. It's tough. It's hardly the girls fault if they're all pumped up with no place to go.

"I try. Is Kennedy about?"

*Probably fighting with the others over who's turn it is choose the T.V. channel, I keep mentioning that it's my T.V., but do ya think they listen?*

"No?"

*Right. Are you coming home soon? You can keep them occupied.*

"I dunno. Maybe. I hope so."

*You should do, we all miss you.*

"Me too. Is Ken there, Dawn?"

It's not that I don't want to speak to her, I do... but man, she goes on.

*Right, yeah, I'll just get her.*

I move my ear away from the phone quick, just in time to hear Dawn screaming for Kennedy.

*She's just coming. See ya soon, Faith.*

"See ya, Dawn."

I'm not committing to a `soon'. I don't want to lie, and I just don't know.

*Hello?*

"Kennedy... how are ya?"

*Wow, you remembered me. I'm fine thanks. Yes, I managed to bust out of hospital on my own... I waited for ya, got sick of waiting.*

Oooops.

"Yeah, about that. Sorry. I did mean to come back, but things... well, ya know, stuff happens."

*Buff happens.*

"That was so bad, Ken."

*I can hear ya laughing.*

I may have chuckled.

"Whatever. So how are you... or ya just wanna bitch cos I'm not there?"

*I'm over that. I have Rona... she cares.*

"Hey, I care."

*God, I'm teasing. You slayers are so dense.*

You slayers?

"Which slayers? There's lots of us now... which ones are the dense ones?"

*Not important.*

Was that the brush off?

*What is important is that I'm fine. Fully healed... gotta love this slayer healing, too cool.*

"Definitely a perk."

*Definitely. Along with the increased strength, speed and agility... am I missing anything?*

"Stamina... don't ever forget stamina, that's important."

I'm betting she already knows that. Her and Rona... both slayers... that's a whole lot of stamina.

*Oh I'm loving the stamina, don't ya worry about that.*

"Not worried."

I'm gonna ask. If she's not around, I'm gonna ask.

"So Ken, uh... is Buffy about, there... lurking in the background?"

She laughs a little. I didn't mean to be funny.

*No, definitely not. No where in the vicinity.*

"Good. How is she?"

*Same as always. Head so far up her own ass...*

"I didn't mean that. I meant... is she good?"

*Good? I don't know how to tell, she always looks pissed when I'm in the room.*

Me too.

"Well, does she look like she's... I don't know, does she look like she misses me?"

This is so dumb. Really fucking dumb.

*Ya know I wanna play with ya now... and I could, but I won't. Because I like you.*

What?

"Uh...okay... I like you too, now what are ya talking about?"

*Buffy. She gave me a message to give to you.*

She did? That should be interesting. I hope it's not more cursing.

"Ok... and the message would be?"

*She said to say... you ready for this?*

"Kennedy."

*You lose your sense of humour in LA? I'm getting to it alright, I was just checking you were ready... had a pen and paper on stand by.*

"Ha ha."

*Oh look, there's the sense of humour.*

"The message?"

*She said to tell you that `she misses you too'*

"She did, no shit?"

That's good. That's not cursing.

*No shit. And there's more.*

Ah, maybe this is the cursing.

"Ok."

*She said to tell you that `she needs you'. Kinda sweet don't ya think?*

"She needs me?"

*That's what I said. So you gonna come home now, or you want me to pass a message back... cos Buffy's messenger, I always hoped that that's what I would be in life.*

She needs me. I need her.

"And she didn't curse? Not once... no `tell Faith to fuck off', or `tell Faith to keep the fuck away from me'?"

That's what I was expecting

*Definitely not. I think she regrets the cursing.*

"You do?"

*Uh-huh. I mean I'm not sure, she hasn't said much, but it looked like she was regretful, ya know?*

No. Not really. She sure as hell didn't look regretful last time I saw her.

"Maybe."

I want to speak to her. I want to hear her say she needs me. That she misses me.

"Ken, is she about... can ya get her for me?"

*You want to speak to her?*

"Looks that way, don't it."

If I keep not speaking, maybe I'll forget how, and then I'll never hear her tell me. I'll never get to tell her.

*She's not here.*

"Well go and get her."

She's laughing again.

*No, she's `really' not here.*

"Well where is she, patrolling?"

Is it time for patrolling?

*Something like that... she's just out at the moment.*

"Well, can ya give her a message?"

*I was joking when I said I wanted to be her messenger... I really don't want to.*

"Do it for me?"

*As you put it like that, I'm sure I can manage... what's the message?*

"Tell her..."

What do I want to tell her?

"...tell her I said hi, and I said sorry I missed her, oh, and sorry I didn't speak to her earlier... I'm a jerk... and that I need her too, and I'm gonna call her. Tonight. Yeah... tell her I'll call her tonight... or she can call me, when she gets in. If she wants to."

*That everything?*

"Think so... you think that's ok? Did I miss anything?"

*It's your message.*

"Right. No. That's everything. You won't forget to tell her, right?"

*I swear... as soon as she walks through the door, I'll tell her.*

Why the fuck does she keep laughing?

"Ken, am I missing something? Some joke you're yet to share with me?"

*No. No joke. Maybe I'm just laughing at the whole sorry messaging situation... it's kinda childish, don't ya think?*

Probably.

"Whatever. Just don't forget."

And more laughing.

*I won't.*

"Right. I'm gonna shoot now, ok. I need to go think about what I'm gonna say to B, what time you reckon she'll be back?"

*Don't think, Faith... remember what I said before? Just do what feels right, and you wont go wrong.*

"That didn't work last time."

*Course it did, Buffy's just an ass.*

Not gonna argue.

"So what time will she be in?"

*I dunno, couple of hours... maybe sooner. You'll be the first to know when she arrives, I promise, ok?*

"Just get her to call me."

*Yep.*

"Thank you."

*That's what I like... a girl who doesn't need prompting.*

"Huh?"

*Nothing. Not important. You have a nice evening, yeah?*

"Right... I'll have a nice evening."

Have a nice evening? What does she think I'm doing... having fun? No such luck.

*I'm sure you will. And you can thank me again, when you're home.*

I don't get this girl. I thought I got this girl... but I don't.

"Whatever you say, Ken... whatever you say."

Strange. Very strange.

"Say hi to everyone right, and I'll call again tomorrow."

*Sure ya will.*

"I will. Don't forget my message."

*I wouldn't dare.*

"Right. See ya then."

*Bye Faith... and have fun.*

"You're odd, but I'll try. Bye."

I'm glad to hang up.

Have fun? She needs to come spend some time sitting in her own in deserted hotel. Really not fun.

At least I'm gonna speak to Buffy. I like her message. It makes me smile. First real one in four days. I thought she would be pissed at me, ready to rip my head from my shoulders for daring to leave her, for `disobeying' her. Guess I was wrong.

Now I just have to think of a way to pass a couple of hours.

Working out seems a good option. Focus the mind.

Get a good sweat going... take a shower... talk to B.

It's a plan. Who ever said I wasn't a planner?

Pov None.

She had worked out for two hours straight. Punching, kicking, pounding... focused only on getting the most from her body, pushing it to it's extreme, and then pushing harder. She loved the feel, loved the release... loved the way all her muscles sang to her as she worked. Perfectly in tune, reacting with precision to every command her mind issued.

She had worked up a sweat. Her body was glistening with it, hair plastered to the back of her neck, her workout clothes stuck fast to her body, outlining her contours... the skin which was left exposed flushed from exertion.

She felt great. Almost fantastic. Her breathing was ragged, her chest rising and falling erratically which each lungful of air she drew into her body. Her mind was clear, as she had wished it to be. No focus except that which she had wanted. Her workout.

She checked the clock and saw how much time had passed. Soon. Soon it would be time to call her, or for her to take a call. Which ever happened first. She didn't care, she cared only that the call was going to be made. That the first steps towards fixing what was broken, were going to be taken.

Stripping her clothes off as she went, she made her way to the shower. Turning the knobs to make the water as hot as she could stand it, eager to wash away all the sweat she had produced... to be clean again. To be refreshed. To be ready.

It humoured her that she wanted to be clean for a phone call. It wasn't as if Buffy would know she had made the effort, but she still wanted to make it. It was important to make it.

Stepping under the flow of water, she braced herself against the heat as it scorched her body... tipping her head back to let it flow through her hair, down her back. Massaging her muscles. She rotated her shoulders, her neck... inviting in the warmth... feeling herself relax, the strenuous workout becoming a distant memory.

She washed her hair first. No special fancy shampoo, just the basic stuff, to do a basic job... the same with her conditioner. She didn't need expensive things to make herself look good... as long as she was clean, she looked good... in truth she looked just as good dirty.

The soap was a bit more towards luxury. She liked the foamy stuff, the stuff which when you rubbed it against your body, you could feel each of the little bubbles caressing you, invigorating you, waking the skin as if it had been sleeping.

She could feel her skin waking now. The heat of the water combining with the foam to truly bring her to life. It was such a pleasurable experience, that she almost felt the urge to moan in satisfaction... she loved this. It was one of the things she had missed most in prison. The ability to truly enjoy a shower, to truly take the time to wash away all the grime.

Once she was soaped all over, each little nook and cranny paid attention to, she stepped back under the jets to rinse. They pounded down on her, taking away the dirt, leaving only the freshness... and the luxury of clean skin.

Now was her least favourite bit, but a bit she always did. She always turned the jets to freezing before she stepped out. Just that final wake up call before she left the comfort of the shower. The moan of satisfaction quickly turning to a shriek of displeasure. It was like she knew it was coming, had been the one to make it so, but the coldness still always shocked her.

She stepped quickly from the enclosed space, grabbing a towel as she did. Wrapping it tight around her, shaking her head at the same time, to work some of the water from her hair. She dried quickly and grabbed some fresh clothes.

Just an comfy pair of shorts and one of her favoured vest tops. A perfect combination.

Now she felt fucking great. Completely refreshed. Totally ready to talk to Buffy.

Faith's Pov

I don't know whether to call her... or to wait until she calls me. I know it doesn't matter, as long as the call is made... but maybe it does matter. Maybe if I call her, she'll think that everything's cool, that everything's `five by five' with me... and it isn't really. I mean, yeah... of course I wanna sort this, I need to sort this... but I don't wanna disregard how I feel to get that. And I'm still a little pissed. Still a little hurt.

But then I could wait for her to call... and I could end up waiting all night. I mean, what if Kennedy forgets to give her my message? Sure I can kick her ass if she does, but that's not gonna help now, is it? Arghhh. I can't believe I'm driving myself crazy over something so silly, so inconsequential.

Just a few minutes ago I was perfectly relaxed... and now I'm tensing again. Ridiculous. I keep walking into Angel's old office and out again. I look at the phone on the front desk, I look at the phone in the office... waiting for them to ring, waiting for me to use one.

It's so fucking stupid!

I'm in the office now. I even have the phone in my hand... but my fingers won't stop hovering... they want to dial, I know they do, but they won't. I think I have lost control of my senses.

My body wants me to call. I know it does. It's almost like I'm feeling a ghost warmth just thinking about her. Like I can feel her here... even though she's not.

It makes me smile cos it almost feels like a tickle. All the hairs rising as the electricity shoots through my veins. It's a lot crazy though. I've never felt like this except for when she is near. I guess I really `really' miss her. Like I didn't know that already.

Buffy's Pov

I'm right outside, sitting in the car, and it's like I'm scared to move. I know she's in there. I can feel her. It feels so good to have her close again, that I don't want to move. Once I go in... well then it could go wrong.

So just now... just for this minute... I'm gonna sit here and bask. Bask in the warmth that she gives me.

Faith's Pov

I've stopped being tense. Something weird is going on. I don't know quite what. But I can `feel' her. It's not ghost warmth... it's not wishful thinking... I can feel her. I don't know how, I don't care how... I'm just gonna soak it up.

I feel so full, so complete... it makes me realise just how empty the last few days have been.

I'm going home. Damn right, I'm going home. I've been depriving myself this feeling, and I don't want to no more. No fucking way. I'm gonna call her and I'm going to tell her that I'm coming home.

Then I may beg a lift, cos busses... don't like busses.

We can sort this shit when I get there, I just know that I have to get there... now would be preferable... but I guess tomorrow will do.

I almost wish that she would just appear, that Red knew some fancy spell to send her flying through the door and into my arms. Maybe she does? Maybe I'll ask in a moment... when I press the buttons on the phone.

Buffy's Pov

So I've left the car. I'm being brave. I'm crapping myself. I know that she said she misses me... but so what? Doesn't mean she wants to see me. What if Kennedy was wrong? What if I'm making the stupidest mistake yet?

So many what if's.

I can't do it anymore. Because I have to know.

I push on the doors and they're not locked. That's good. At least I don't have to worry about her not letting me in. Now I just have to worry that she'll throw me out instead.

The lobby is empty. The lights are all on... and I mean `all'. I hope she hasn't got guests.

She's so close. I would guess metres, but I can't see her, so I don't know. But she is close. Really, really close.

My feet are taking me to the front desk... maybe I should book a room for the night?

I'm gonna laugh at my own humour, but I don't have time... because at that minute the door to the office starts to open... and I know what's behind door number one. Who's behind door number one.

Faith's Pov

This is fucked up.

I can't make the phone call, because everything's fucked up.

I swear I can feel her... and I `know' she isn't here. She cant be here... so what's going on. I can't sit here wondering, so I'm gonna find out.

Even before I pull the door to the office open... I know what's on the other side. And I don't have the time to wonder at the how's and the why's and the what's, because she is there.

Buffy.

"Hello, Faith."

Wow.

She's looking like she wants an answer.

Holy fucking wow.

"Uh... Faith?"

She does want an answer. I knew it.

"How?"

Bet she wasn't expecting that.

Nope. She looks confused.

"How what?"

I don't know. How everything.

"You... what are you doing here?... when?... uh..."

I think I've lost the ability to speak. I'm too far past shocked and stunned to speak.

"Just now, for the when... and the what... I..."

And now she looks like she can't speak either.

At least she's smiling. I missed that smile.

"I can't believe this... I can't believe that you're here...you are really here, yeah? I'm not hallucinating from the complete boredom of being here?"

She smiles even more. This better not be a fucking hallucination. I will be pissed.

"I'm here. I'm definitely here... is it... do you... is it ok that I'm here?"

Damn right it is.

"It doesn't suck... confuses the pants off me, but it really doesn't suck."

"That's good... cos the drive, not fun... so didn't want to drive home again tonight."

"You thought I'd make you drive home again? Tonight?"

"Maybe... maybe I think that's what I deserve."

"I'm not gonna make you drive home again, ok?"

"Good."

"Good."

And welcome to the silence. It's not bad silence... not really. It's kinda quiet... but that's ok. Better peace then shouting, right?

I don't know what to say... what would be the right thing to say. The appropriate thing. Is there appropriate things?

She finds the appropriate thing before me.

"I missed you, Faith."

That'll work. That makes me smile.

"You did?"

"I did. So much so it hurt. It still hurts."

I think things are about to get heavy.

"You wanna go sit down, B?"

I am not having this conversation on opposite sides of the front desk.

"Uh-huh."

I lead the way over to the chairs, take my seat. She looks like she's waiting for permission to sit down, waiting for me to tell her where to sit. I want her next to me, I need her next to me... but I don't want to skip the talking.

I gesture to the chair opposite. Still close... but far enough away to keep my senses.

"I missed you too, ya know?"

She sits down and fixes her eyes on me. I like her eyes on me.

"I know... Willow told me, she said you missed me."

"Right."

"I... uh... god this is stupid, speak Buffy, speak..."

Or talk to yourself. I could just watch you.

"... I wanted to say... I need to say... sorry. I am `so' sorry. Everything, everything I said... I am just sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm an idiot, a total idiot... I know that, and not just because `everybody' told me... I knew anyway, you can tell me as well though... I'm just an idiot. And I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?"

She nods and drops her eyes. Don't do that... I liked your eyes on me.

"Hey... Buffy?"

There they are.

"It's ok, alright? I mean it's not `ok' ok, I'm still pretty pissed at ya, but it's ok. I wanna sort this... if you want to sort this, then that's cool, cos I want to."

"I want to. I really want to."

"And just so you know..."

"Yeah?"

"You're an idiot."

Whoever knew that calling her an idiot would make her smile again. I should remember that.

"I know it. Believe me, I know it."

"So why then? Why did ya go all psycho on me? Cos I didn't like it... I thought I was the psycho one... you're sposed to be all level headed, and clued up... what happened?"

"I freaked... I don't know why. Well I do, kind of. It was just everything... I mean, wow, crazy day... and then waiting for you... I sat there so long waiting for you, and then when you came, and you said what you said... it was just perfect, yeah?"

"It was pretty perfect, yeah."

I can smile at the memory. It's a pretty perfect memory.

"And then the bathroom..."

She laughs to herself. Blushes a little. Looks so good.

"... what can I say about that?"

"Uh... perfect?"

She laughs again. Man, this is nice.

"That would be one word... I can think of lots... but not to get side tracked... yeah, the bathroom... wow, and then some... and then before I even had the chance to... what? Recover?... then Dawn says you're leaving... and I freaked."

Now she's not smiling, but that's ok. These memories aren't so perfect.

"Ya certainly did, B. A whole lot of freaking."

"Uh-huh. I couldn't stop myself... I wanted to, really wanted to... but I couldn't... I just felt so... raw. That's it. I felt raw. Exposed, and I got scared... I thought you were leaving and I panicked... totally panicked."

"I wasn't leaving."

She has to know I wasn't leaving. Couldn't leave.

"I know. I know that now. But I didn't... at the time, I couldn't think... I just felt... and it hurt so much, even the idea that you would leave me, that you could leave me... and I know... I know that doesn't mean it's ok. That the things I said don't matter, because I was hurting... it does matter. I was wrong."

She's got tears in her eyes, and it hurts me to see them there. But this is important. This is what has to be said, if we're gonna move on.

"Why wouldn't you listen to me, B? I tried so hard to keep calm, to not lose it... but you just wouldn't god damn listen. Drove me crazy."

"I was crazy! I think I thought if I could stop you saying the words... if I could just stop you from saying you were leaving... then it wouldn't happen, couldn't happen... dumb, right?"

"Oh yeah."

"I can't believe I tried to tell you what you can and can't do... I was cringing as I said it, I knew I was pushing you away, but I just couldn't stop."

"You certainly kept pushing... pissed me off completely. Did you really think I would listen... that I would do what you told me to?"

"No. Not for a second."

That's good. She needs to know I'm not for pushing around. No fucking way.

"Good."

"As if, right?... I wasn't really thinking at that point though, ok?"

"I get that... I figured you had flipped."

I saw the corners of her mouth raise there. She may have tears, but I can make her smile too.

"Very flippy... the flippiest."

"The flippiest?"

"Yeah. It's a thing."

She can make me smile too.

"About the other things I said, Faith..."

Ouch.

"... I don't have the right to just expect you to forget them... I don't even know if I have the right to ask you to forgive them... but I am sorry. I `know' you didn't just come there to `fuck me'... I know who's hands were down who's pants first... I remember..."

So do I.

"...I `know' it wasn't just a `fuck'... although, hindsight... maybe I don't deserve much more...but I know. You said... you said that you loved me..."

Her voice cracks and I can't do this. Not like this.

"B... stop it ok? I don't want you to crucify yourself... this isn't me feeling better by you making yourself feel worse, alright? Yeah it hurts... the fact that I told you I loved you, and then you threw that back at me... I don't think anything's ever hurt more... but `this' is bullshit. I can't sit here and watch you do this to yourself, alright?"

"No Faith... it has to be said, you have to know I didn't mean it."

"I know, ok?"

She takes a deep breath and disregards what I say.

"You said you loved me, and I screwed that up... I know I really screwed up... but I'm sorry... everything, I'm sorry... I just want you to know... that next time... if there is a next time... that I won't ever do that again... I won't question how you feel, ok?"

"Ok. B."

Now it's my turn to take a deep breath. Because I am not blameless. I said some things as well, that I'm not so proud of.

"Buffy...?"

I get her eyes back `again'. Her beautiful blotchy, kinda red, teary pretty eyes.

"What I said... I was wrong too. Yeah you pushed me, but I was wrong..."

"No Faith, you..."

"B... shush yeah? Just for a minute, let me have my say."

"Sorry."

"We didn't `fuck' a couple of times, I have never just fucked you, I could never just fuck you... and to say that, it was wrong, it was pretty fucking stupid too, but mostly wrong... and I'm sorry. I was wrong to get in your face like that... I was wrong to kiss you like that... and again... I'm sorry. I snapped. I didn't mean to, but I did."

"It's ok, I pushed you."

"No B. It's not ok... I don't have the right to treat you like that, just as much as you don't... just because you pushed first... that doesn't make it alright for me to speak to you that way. It doesn't make it ok"

I never want to speak to her like that. I hated it.

"Well I've forgotten it. It doesn't matter to me."

She is infuriating.

"It matters to me B, it matters because I don't want it to happen again, yeah? It matters because if you say it's ok... what's to stop me `doing' it again... I hate that I spoke to you like that... just humour me and tell me you hated it too, please?"

"I hated it. I really hated it. Every word cut me, ok? Not just because of what you were saying, or the not so nice tone... but because I knew I had made you say it. So yeah, don't speak to me like that again... please?"

This is why I wanted to sit opposite. How am I not holding her now?

"I won't speak to you like that again... scouts honour."

And I do salute, and yes it's stupid, but I need to lift the atmosphere. It feels like someone died, and I don't like it.

"You were never a scout."

"It's the thought that counts, B."

I want her to smile again. A proper smile. Not a half smile.

"Faith... just so you know, when you kissed me... I didn't... it wasn't... I liked it. Sorry if that's wrong... but that kiss, it made me feel better... it felt like you loved me."

"It was meant to."

And I have to smile, because I got what I wanted. She's so pretty when she smiles.

"Can we stop this now, B? Can we stop hurting each other? Just for a while... just so I can feel the buzz of being with you for more then five minutes... please?"

"I would like that. I would like that a hell of a lot."

"Cool."

Man I feel exhausted. This caring sharing stuff is so god damned tiring.

"So what do ya wanna do now B?"

"Can I choose anything?"

Are we seeing the re-emergence of `miss eager pants'? I'll be shocked if we are, she looks more beat then I feel.

"Absolutely anything."

"What I'd like... more then anything... I'd like to tell you I love you Faith. I swore I'd say it every morning, and I screwed that up already... so right now, I just want to say `I love you'."

"You just said it, B."

At this moment... this precise moment, I am not touching her, I am not holding her... but I have never loved her more. I have also never had a more corny thought in my head. But so fuck. I love this girl. Corny can kiss my ass.

"I want to come over there and say it."

"You do?"

"Uh-huh."

And I shouldn't stop her, because I said `anything'.

"Ok."

The space she has to travel is so small, yet it takes an age for her to get here. She sits down, and I love the fact she looks shy, like this means so much to her. It means so much to me.

The minute her eyes reach mine, I'm hers. I was hers already, but now I'm more hers. All hers. Her words are so soft, yet they echo in my ears.

"I love you, Faith. I love you so much and I am so sorry... forgive me?"

I know I'm gonna start sobbing in a minute. Crazy.

"Not even a question."

I give her what I hope is my best smile.

"I love you too B, and I'm sorry too... lets just not do that again, ok?... I for one do not like this angsty thing we have going here. Can we just leave it at `I love you', yeah?"

"Deal. No more angst."

"Promise?"

"Scouts honour."

And now I'm laughing a little, which is good, cos sobbing... it's hell on the image.

"B... I know for damn sure that `you' were never a scout... probably a prissy little girl guide... but never a scout."

"Girl guides are not prissy... they're... uh, I don't know! But not prissy."

"Whatever, B."

And I feel good. I couldn't give a hoot what girl guides are. I am fucking happy.

And the best bit...? I haven't even kissed her yet.

Buffy's Pov

I think I'm all talked out. If there's anything left that I'm supposed to say... any words that I'm supposed to add, but haven't, then I'm sorry. But I am all talked out.

My brain is fried. More fried. I'm so exhausted. I haven't been sleeping well, not without Faith, not with everything that has been going on... and now I'm whacked. She looks a little tired too. All this heartfelt chit chat, it's murder on the energy reserves.

"Hey, Faith?"

I break the comfortable silence that we seem to have lapsed into.

"Yeah?"

"Any chance of getting a room for the night?"

Preferably the same one you have, and yes... I will be sharing the bed.

"A room...? There's lots to choose from... did ya have a particular one in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking I could bunk in with you, no need to dirty extra sheets and all... although if you don't want me to share..."

"I do. Want you to share."

Of course you do.

"You wanna take me there now... cos me? Tired. I don't wanna fall asleep here, but it's gonna be a possibility if we don't move soon."

"Guess we better move then. I really don't want to have to carry ya... I'm pretty beat myself."

I laugh a little at the thought of Faith carrying me up the stairs. It has a romantic feel to it.

She gets up and leads the way, just her fingertips touching mine, guiding me to her room. Guiding me to her bed.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling just a little excited about being here. A lot excited. My brain may have the need to disengage, but my libido? That's screaming at me full volume... making me more then aware that I'm about to get into a bed with Faith. I've never really gotten into a bed with Faith.

There was the night we fell asleep kinda on my bed, and that was nice... but there was lots of clothes... and impending doom. I don't think we have impending doom here, and I'm really hoping that the clothes might not be staying either. I haven't seen Faith without her clothes on yet.

She has the advantage over me there. She has seen me in all my naked glory... I'm still waiting to sneak a peek at hers.

Hush libido! I think she's speaking.

"What?"

"I said... do you have a side of the bed you like to sleep on?"

I don't know. Wasn't thinking about sleeping just then.

"Err... whatever? Not fussed. Just erm... put me where you want me."

She's looking at me quizzically. Yes Faith, I meant that exactly how it sounded.

"Put you where I want you?"

"Uh-huh."

She's walking over to me now. I feel like she's stalking me, I can feel her eyes all over me, and it's so god darn exciting. Please touch me.

"If I'm gonna put you where I want you..."

She's fingering the base of my top, tugging it slightly upwards.

"... I'm gonna have to get rid of these. That gonna be a problem?"

"Uh... no problem."

Except that I can't breathe. She is so close to me, and all I want is her.

I reach my hand up to stroke the side of her face. She stops what she is doing, and looks at me... maybe she thinks I changed my mind, maybe she thinks I sleep with my clothes on.

I answer her look, by leaning in close, bringing her lips down to press against mine. A slow kiss. A soft kiss.

Like eating a savoured treat. All mouths and tongues, dancing slowly. Passionately.

I almost don't want the tempo to increase, because this feels so good. It feels like a kiss that could last forever. I want it to last forever.

But then there is air. Blasted air. Blasted nuisance.

"Wow, B... some kiss."

"Hmmm."

I don't want to speak. I'm all talked out.

She has on just a little vest, and a tiny pair of shorts. She looks so good, but I need to see more. It feels like I've waited long enough to see her. Too long.

She doesn't stop me as I lift her top, doesn't look to question me. She raises her arms to help me... to make her almost naked.

I can't help but draw in a sharp breath once I have uncovered her. I've never really looked at girls breasts before, never felt the urge to... but these... I don't think I'm ever gonna draw my eyes away. I raise my hand to trace lightly across her uncovered skin. Barely touching, just grazing softly. She moans a little at my touch. Maybe she's been wanting this as much as I have.

I don't really know what I'm doing. This is all foreign to me.

I know I want her to moan some more. I know I want to make her feel good.

My palms graze across her nipples, and now it's her taking in a sharp breath... I do it again. A bit harder, a little bit more pressure. Invoking a sigh from her, a ripple of pleasure coursing through my body. I cup my hands underneath each breast, feeling the weight, my thumbs reaching up to run in circles around and across her hard erect buds...

Pov None.

The blonde slayer stood lost in the moment. Her eyes fixed solely on the workings of her hands. Her hands that were massaging Faiths breasts. The thought was enough to spin her head, but the vision of it was something even more. She could feel herself getting slowly wet, the tightness of her jeans beginning to cause discomfort, her body protesting it's need to get naked. To get free.

Faith was standing with her eyes closed, she too lost somewhere... a place where her body was wracked with the most pleasurable of sensations. Not yet demanding more, happy to take what was being given. To go slow. To go soft.

"Faith...?"

The loss of contact grabbed her attention, quicker then the words from Buffy's mouth. She pushed her chest out, almost as if she could gain back that what had gone missing.

"Hmmm?"

"I need to take my clothes off."

Her eyes flew open as she understood the words being spoken. She needed to take Buffy's clothes off... was sure that just a few minutes ago, she had begun to take her clothes off. She had been distracted though. That wouldn't happen this time.

"I can help with that, B."

"Good, cos my hands are kinda shaking."

Faith lifted the top from the blonde slayers body, uncovering a sweet little bra, which stayed sweet only for the seconds it took her to remove that too. Then it just became discarded, forgotten. Forgotten in favour of what was underneath. She had been here before, had touched them before, had tasted them before... but it didn't lessen her excitement, didn't dampen her want.

She wanted to stay a while, to lavish attention... but she wouldn't be distracted. She needed to take Buffy's clothes off. All of them.

Allowing her hands to rub across her breasts, she travelled downwards to the button on the blonde girls jeans, easily popping it, slowly pulling down the zipper, freeing her ass from the restraint of tight denim.

Her pants were white and simple, nothing fancy, just a perfect contrast against her skin.

The dark slayer ran her fingers over the front of them, feeling the wetness within, smelling the scent which was calling to each of her senses, she wanted to possess Buffy, but she wanted to do it slowly. They had a lifetime for urgency... this time, their first real time together, she wanted it to last, she wanted it to be special, to be everything.

They were evenly matched now. Both nearly naked, just the last barrier between themselves and total freedom.

Time seemed frozen as they stood staring at each other... the only movement, Faith's slow and gentle caress across the front of Buffy's pants. It was almost like she didn't know she was doing it, her hands moving of their own accord to possess what they wanted.

"Faith... I need you."

Buffy spoke the words, unsure of whether she meant the need to take, or the need to be taken. The need was just there. In every part of her, urging her to reach out, to touch.

She hooked her hands in the waistband of the other girls shorts, tugging them slowly over her hips, then letting them go, so they fell to the floor. Another thing discarded, another thing forgotten.

And there she was. Naked. In all her glory.

She wanted to take the time to run her eyes across every inch of uncovered flesh, but she didn't have the time, because something was calling her. Something basic and primal, and full of lust. Calling her forward, to take the final step in possessing what she felt was hers. Faith.

The blonde slayers fingers found a path between tight, trimmed dark curls, sliding between lips that were damp, betraying the wetness within. Sliding back and forth against a hard nub, erect and waiting for the pleasure to come. Her other hand reached up again to reclaim breasts. To roll nipples, to pinch... anything to increase the moans which were becoming music to her ears.

Each time she slid her fingers forwards she came closer and closer to Faith's hole, to the entrance to her being... she didn't know if she was going too fast, if she was being too `eager', she didn't care. She just had to be inside of Faith again. She had to reclaim that feeling of holding her in the palm of her hand, of knowing that she could make her feel so good, knowing that she could make her cum so hard.

Faith was trying to keep some form of order to her thoughts. Yes this felt great, it felt fucking fantastic, but she had wanted to take her time, had wanted to make this last, and she knew that the second that Buffy was inside of her, she would lose it. There wouldn't be restraint then, there would be nothing but total unbridled fucking.

"B... hold up... ah god, hmmm."

"You want to stop, Faith?"

"No... not stop... slow down..."

"You don't want this, then?"

And with that the blonde girl thrust her fingers hard and fast straight inside the entrance she had been so gently teasing, fingering Faith with the urgency that she had been feeling.

"I... uh... fuck..."

Faith knew it was no good... she couldn't stop this now, Buffy was inside her, fucking her, and all she could do was ride her hand. To try and take more... demand more.

"Jesus B...that feels so good..."

"Tell me Faith... tell me what it feels like..."

"I... god...it feels like... uh... I can feel you inside me... touching me... oh... god yeah... and I... I want more..."

"More?"

"Hmmm...ah... Harder B... I want you to fuck me harder..."

The words spurred on the smaller girl, she had not had the chance to truly let loose on Faith before, had been encumbered by clothes and time... the inventions of evil. She pushed the dark girl down on the bed, never removing her fingers... pumping them harder... a speed which would have scared anyone watching... in and out, harder and faster... a rhythm so sweet and so urgent... determined to give a release... determined to produce a cry.

She had never heard Faith cum, had never heard her cry out to her orgasm before... had only seen the determination with which she held it all inside, as if keeping that last bit only for herself... not willing to give everything. To truly let go.

Her fingers were so wet with the juice from Faith's pussy, they were sliding so swiftly in and out of her, and she needed to give more. She needed to have more of herself inside of Faith. She slowed the tempo long enough to add a third finger, to stretch her further, wanting to fill her completely... needing to fill her completely.

"Oh god... Buffy... that's... uh..."

Faith was loving it. The hardness with which Buffy was fucking her was amazing. Every part of her body felt alive, was aware of what was happening, was urging her on, preparing for release, wanting to let go.

"Is it good Faith...? Is it what you want?"

"Oh yeah... it's so fucking good... I can't uh... I want..."

Her breathing was so ragged. She wanted to push her words out, she wanted to tell Buffy how good this was... how amazing it was... but she had no chance. Every time she formed a thought, it was immediately ripped away by another thrust, another push... another moan she had to let go of.

"I want to hear you, Faith... cos this feels so good... fucking you... being inside you... you're so wet... and it's all for me... I need to hear you..."

"Uh... all for you...I...oh fuck..."

The blonde girl pushed her thumb hard against the others clit, finding a rhythm as frantic as her fingers, pushing hard, creating pressure so strong... no pretty patterns to be traced... just the outpouring of lust.

"Come on Faith... let it out..."

She bucked underneath her, she couldn't think anymore, she could only writhe and try to keep pace with the hand that was touching her. She could feel Buffy's mouth near her ear, whispering... always whispering... asking for something... her breath hot against her neck... the hand that wasn't fucking her, travelling the length of her body... stopping to pinch a nipple... to focus her mind...

"I want you Faith... I want you so much..."

Her eyes were shut so tightly that she was seeing colours behind her eyelids... all her muscles were tensing... almost painful in their tightness... yet still she rode... still she hung on to the sensations she was feeling... in and out... harder and harder... she could feel her so deep... pushing against her front wall... finding the sweet spot... rubbing, pushing... always more...

"Your pussy feels so good, Faith... so wet... so tight... does it feel good...tell me..."

"Good... so fucking good..."

And it did, and it was... and she knew she was losing it... knew she couldn't hang on any longer... all her senses... all of them were concentrated between her legs... on the feeling of Buffy inside her... and she just couldn't hold off anymore...

"God... that's it B... I'm gonna... I ... oh fuck... yeah... god I'm gonna cum..."

"Come on Faith... let it out..."

She needed to hear this, needed to hear Faith cum for her.

"... I... oh...uh... FUCK... B... AHHH...UH... YES... FUCK YEEESSSSSS!"

She could feel the muscles in her pussy tightening hard around Buffy's fingers, could feel her walls pulsating... could feel the juice pouring out of her... and she held it as long as she could. She concentrated everything on holding it... staying in that one perfect place... this one perfect place... and just at the point she was ready to relax, ready to come down, she could feel fingers starting to pump again... taking up the same rhythm... the hardness... the speed... and she didn't know... didn't know if she could take more... if she could give more... but those fingers were sliding in and out... deeper and deeper... such a frantic pace... so she stayed tight... she stayed tense... barely even moving her hips... just taking the onslaught... her clit screaming... to be left... to be touched...

"Oh god Buffy... I can't... I..."

"You can, Faith... for me... cum for me..."

She threw her head back, her body arching as her back left the bed... contorting in one last position of bliss...

"B...OH... SHIT YES... YESSSS!"

"That's it Faith... ride it out... come on..."

"UH... OH...FUCK... ah... yes...uh..."

She collapsed back down on the bed, barely able to breathe... totally unable to think.

Buffy was kissing her... her neck... her face... her lips... she was saying something... and kissing...

"I love you Faith...god, I so fucking love you... that was amazing... that was..."

"Hmmmm."

"Yes... that was Hmmmm."

If the blonde slayer had thought the first time with Faith... that rushed time, that time with clothes... had been something special... this had just blown her mind. She hadn't ever felt anything like it... nothing even close to it. It was past amazing.

She slowly pulled her fingers out... inciting a moan as she did so.

She wanted to taste her. Truth be told she wanted to crawl down her body now and thrust her tongue deep inside her... but she thought she had better wait... she didn't want to... she wanted it all now... she just had no patience where Faith was concerned... something inside her just couldn't control itself around the dark slayer.

"Faith...?"

"Hmmmm?"

"I want to taste you."

"Hmmmm."

"Is that a yes, Hmmmm?"

"Hmmmm."

She didn't know. Couldn't be sure... she didn't know if Faith even knew what she was talking about. She was yet to open her eyes.

Deciding that there was only one real way to be sure, she raised herself up, and slid the length of Faith's body, stopping only when her face was in line with her pussy. It was so wet. She could see the mess they had made... could smell the mess they had made. It touched her somewhere deep inside, the smell... it urged her to taste... to lick... to stick out her tongue, and just run it lightly along the length of her lips... no pressure... just a taste...

"Huh?"

Faith jumped with the shock. She hadn't a clue what Buffy had been doing, she hadn't a clue who she was, where she was. She was Hmmmming. That was all she knew. But now... wow, now there was a new sensation.

She could feel Buffy's tongue slowly tracing the lips of her pussy... and that drove her wild. She had to open her eyes... she had to see...

Slowly she lifted herself onto shaky arms... her eyes hard to focus... until they found what they had been seeking.

Buffy Summers going down on her. Fucking beautiful.

She didn't think she could cum again yet, that didn't bother her... it was such a relaxed sensation... like she was licking her dry, rather then trying to make her more wet. She was sucking her lips into her mouth, so softly... pulling off each last bit of juice... lapping at her hole... finishing up everything that was there. It felt so good. So right.

She finished by placing the softest of kisses against her clit... causing one last shiver to ripple through her body. One last act before she was totally spent.

The blonde girl retraced her path back up to Faith's eye level, pleased to see that she was now back with the living... eyes open... almost focusing.

"Hey, you."

"Hmmmm."

"You've gotta say more then that, Faith... otherwise... gonna start babbling, gonna have to have a whole long conversation with myself... and I `really' don't want to..."

"Shush."

"Oh my god... you shushed me..."

"B... two minutes ok... you can't do that to a girl and then want to chat... it's wrong... just two minutes..."

She couldn't imagine having to talk now. Her head was playing back everything that had just happened, every touch... every caress. Her body was still throbbing... her clit pulsing... her inner walls clenching and unclenching in post orgasmic satisfaction. She had just had probably the best fuck of her life. No way she wanted to chat right now.

"Can I kiss you?"

Faith collapsed back on the bed... so Buffy was energy enthused after sex, she'd have to remember that... get some ear plugs.

"Buffy... why don't ya go get a drink... I'm thirsty as fuck here... please?"

The blonde girl lent over and took her kiss... letting Faith taste herself on her lips... just a quick kiss. Barely an invasion of tongues.

"Hmmmm."

"Is this your normal conversation post sex, Faith?"

She opened her eyes again.

"Drink?"

"My god... that's the last time, I ever..."

"Stop! Do not say that... I just need to clear my mind, B. That was so frickin awesome, I just need to come down... then we can talk about whatever you want, alright?"

"Okay. I'll be quiet."

She nestled herself against the dark slayers body, finding arms opening to gather her in. She'd just let herself lay for a minute. Then she would talk. Get a drink. Go to sleep.

Within minutes they were both sleeping. Both smiling. Both happy.At last in the place, they were both meant to be.

Faith's Pov

Wow. And then some.

I almost want to pinch myself, just to check that this is real. I can't though. I have in my arms a sleeping Buffy Summers... I could pinch her, just to check... but that could turn out to be a moment spoiler. I can also think of a thousand better ways to wake her other then pinching. Ten thousand better ways.

Man, this is `so' weird.

I have never, ever, woken up with someone like this. Have never wanted to. But here I am. And it feels really fucking... great? Awesome? Totally, wickedly, cool? Indescribable? Yeah, it's indescribable.

The fact that she's even here... that's kinda mind blowing. And the talking... mind blowing. And the sex... I have no mind left.

And the... `look at me falling asleep before I get the chance to reciprocate'... that's never happened before! Usually it's me that gets left high and dry and itching for release. I hope she doesn't mind... I was `really' tired. And `really' sated.

Hell yeah!

I'm sure I had plans for go slow... maybe sensual... definitely time taking... lasts the whole night long sex. Not that I'm complaining. No complaints here. None. But she got all eager again... who would've known? Maybe I'll have to restrain her next time... that way has many possibilities... all tied up and at my mercy...Mmmmm.

Can I wake her now?

I lift the cover a little to peek at what's below... naked Buffy... wait! ... I spy little white panties... she didn't even get naked? Man, I'm slipping. I know I was getting her naked... but yes, of course... eager!

I can see goose bumps raising on her skin from the cool morning air, I should put the sheet back down... I know I should... but I don't wanna. The view is really quite captivating. I could stay all day just looking... But I'm not gonna.

Look but don't touch isn't anything I need to remember no more.

`Want. Take. Have.'

That's something I thought I'd left in my past. Buried in my past. But now... at this second... it's getting more and more appealing. More like something I should re-associate myself with... re-familiarise myself with.

I'm definitely wanting her.

Should I take her?... It's not even a decision.

My body is already moving.

I'm rolling her from her side, against me... to on her back, under me. Such a casual movement... so easy to perform. She doesn't even stir... slayer senses? Whatever.

My arms are free now, and I can lift myself a little. I can feel every single spot that our skin is touching. Our feet. Our legs. Our stomachs. And god... I am so pissed I didn't remove the panties, cos that's where I want to feel contact. Where I need to feel contact.

Even so, I start a little rhythm... a little tease. For my benefit really. She is still sleeping. I can feel the friction on my clit, still tender and ready from just a few hours ago... I grind just a little harder... it feels so good. I can feel myself already getting wet... and in my head I can imagine her getting wet... her sweet little pussy making itself ready for me... it's enough to make me want to hump away like this until I cum... I wonder if she'd sleep through that... or would she wake and fall into rhythm with me...?

It would be so easy. I am so ready.

I lean down and kiss her softly... bringing our breasts into contact as well... god, I want this... I'd swear I `need' it.

I want her to wake up. I want her to wake up and join me.

"Bufffffyyyyy...?"

I whisper in her ear in a sing song way.

"Wakey... wakey..."

I increase the pressure that I'm bearing down on her, it makes me buck a little... I really am still tender and ready... my clit still feels fully engorged... like it was waiting for morning, like it knew there was more to come.

She's stirring. Just a bit. Her brow creasing. A low moan emitting from her throat. Passing across her lips. Her beautiful lips. Lips I want to kiss.

I take my kiss. I have my kiss.

She's so slow to respond... and it's hard not to just ravish her. But I don't, because I want her to wake up and join me... not wake up when it's almost over for me.

I can feel the sweat starting to appear across my skin. The anticipation... the wanting... the restraint... it's all making me so hot.

"Buffy... B... wake up..."

"Hmmmm..."

Her eyelids are fluttering. But that's not the best bit.

She's even starting to smile... but that's not the best bit either.

The fact that her hips are starting to move with mine... that's the best bit.

"Morning sleepy."

I lean down to kiss her again, and this time she does respond... lips parting... mouth inviting. The second my tongue touches hers I want to moan... I increase the pressure of my grinding even further... anything to make this more. I am so fucking hot for her.

"Hmmmm, Faith."

Yep. That's me... in the flesh... and so fucking horny.

Her eyes are open and she's right here with me. I don't have to worry about my level of lust for her... because I can see it reflected right back at me. Shining there for me to see.

"I want you, B... I want to have you..."

She doesn't answer. She doesn't need to.

Her arms go up around my neck and she pulls me tight against her. Tighter against her.

The synchronicity is perfect. Hips rising and falling with perfect timing.

I know that flesh isn't touching flesh in `all' the right places... but it doesn't matter. All I can focus on is the friction... it's driving me crazy... I'm so close already... and I don't think I `can' wait... I don't think I want to.

"Jeez B...I'm gonna... I can't wait... I'm ready..."

Her hands leave my neck, they travel down my back and grab onto my ass. She pulls me so hard against her... I feel like I'm crushing her... driving her hard into the bed... the pressure on my clit just one long constant...

I don't think about anything else. I can't.

I cum so quick... I think I scream again...

It feels like the moment's lasting so long. She's raising her hips hard into mine still, prolonging the pleasure... and then she's moaning... and I can feel her tensing underneath me... she's wanting release too...

"Yeah B... that's it..."

I urge her with my words... I whisper into her ear... I suck hard upon her neck...

I think that's what does it for her... the neck... cos she really loses it then. Her fingers are gonna leave bruises on my ass, I know it... she's pulling so hard, keeping me prisoner... forcing me to go how she wants... making sure I'm hitting her just where she needs it...

She cries out as she finds her orgasm... it sounds great... I cry out too, cos I'm above her... I'm watching her face... feeling her body... and I have to cry out.

This is so intense.

We lay there for a minute... catching our breath... me uttering words of love. Can I say this is my favourite morning ever?

"Hey Buffy...?"

"Hmmmm."

Hmmmm? I thought she liked to chat afterwards? She sure wouldn't shut up last night.

"Oi... wake up."

"Na-uh... sleepy..."

"You just been sleeping... come on... wake up... for me?"

She smiles a little at that. Then she opens her eyes.

"I'm awake... for you... now what's so important?"

"This... it's my favourite morning ever... I wanted to share..."

"And it couldn't still be your favourite morning in half an hour... maybe after I'd snoozed some more?"

"That hurts, B."

Well it might if she wasn't smiling quite so much.

"It's my bestest morning as well... totally the best."

"You wanna make it better?"

I think of all the ways I could make it better. I think about taking off her panties and making it so much better.

"You mean it gets `better' then this?"

I don't answer her with words. I answer her with the force of my kiss.

And her panties do come off, and we set about making my favourite morning ever, my favourite day ever.

Buffy's Pov

I can't open my eyes.

Well it's not that I can't... sure I can, it's simple... just the lifting of eyelids, and there ya have it... open eyes. But I `can't' open mine.

Every time today that I have opened my eyes, she has been right there looking back at me, and once my eyes rest on her... that's it... I'm done for. Or she's done for. Maybe we're both done for. It goes like this...

"Whatcha looking at, B?"

"You, Faith."

"You like what ya see...?"

"Oh yes, I like a lot."

"You wanna show me how much?"

"I'm `gonna' show ya how much..."

And so it goes on.

So I can't open my eyes. Not right now. I `know' that her eyes are on me waiting... I can feel them all over me... there's not a part of me that I can't feel her on. It's making me smile.

"Whatcha smiling at, B?"

Oh god... she has found a variation. I thought I was safe. All day with the eyes... and now she's gonna start on the smile. I thought I was safe with the smiling.

"I'm not smiling... it may `look' like a smile... the corners of my mouth may have moved up like a smile... but it's not a real smile. I'm just... uh... exercising my mouth."

"You want me to make ya smile for real?... give that mouth some proper exercise?"

Oh you `know' I want that.

But I also need to eat. To drink. To do all the other things that normally seem so important but have fallen by the wayside today. I'll mention it... but I'm still keeping my eyes shut.

"Uh... Faith... is there any chance of food and drink... cos I'm hungry... and thirsty..."

"Why ya got your eyes screwed up, B?"

"You know why!" And she does... she knows that if I look, I'm gonna have to have.

"Food... are ya gonna feed me?"

"If ya look at me I'll feed ya... that seems like a fair deal."

No it doesn't. It seems like a dumb deal.

"How about you feed me... then I look at you. I'll look at you lots, definitely lots of looking... but I really need to eat, Faith. Withholding food is just... wrong!"

She's gone all quiet. I can feel her moving next to me, and I `so' want to peep... but I can't. Because I really need to eat.

"What ya doing, Faith?"

No answer. But I can feel her moving again.

She's running her fingers ever so lightly up the insides of my thighs. I raise my hips without even meaning to.

"I'm hungry, B."

I don't think she's talking about food. Maybe I should tell her that I'll still be here after we've had some snacks. That we can stay in bed as long as she wants... forever if she wants... but I still need to eat.

"I'm hungry, Faith... hence the need to eat... `food'... I have the need to eat food."

She's moving again... going for food?

"That's nice, B... I have a need to eat, too."

She must think I'm stupid.

She's spreading my thighs now... blowing cooling air on my hot pussy. And it is hot. She has fucked me so many times today... with her mouth, her tongue, her fingers, her thumbs...

Sometimes slow... making love to me... touching me so deep inside that I never want her to leave.

Sometimes hard... so fucking hard. She touches me deep then as well... a different kind of deep though... either way I scream for her not to stop.

Then I end up screaming for her `to' stop.

God I want her.

The cool air feels so nice. Like a tease... just a whisper of a caress.

My eyes are still shut... I still think I might be able to win this... really I do.

"Do you know what I'm hungry for, B?"

Pizza... nachos... burgers... pasta...

"Uh... no."

"You sure about that?"

She stops the blowing. It had stopped working anyway... I don't think my pussy wants to cool down... I think it wants the same thing she wants.

"No."

The fact I have my eyes closed is making me crazy with anticipation. I know what's coming. I know that any minute Faith is going to be eating me... again... but I don't know exactly when... and that's just making me crazy.

"Shall I show you what I'm hungry for?"

And this is it... I can mention food again, I can kill the moment... or I can give in. Forget food. Forget everything except Faith.

I don't answer... I raise my hips. Searching for contact... wanting to feed her.

Maybe that's not what she meant though, because she's pushing my hips down hard into the bed... her hands either side, holding fast.

"I asked a question B... shall I show you what I'm hungry for."

And I thought I had answered.

"Yes Faith... show me..."

That came out all breathy. Like I was never thinking about food in the first place... and I was. I was definitely thinking about food.

She's still holding me tight... no contact.

"Open your eyes, B... I can't show you anything with your eyes shut."

A fair point. But I had my eyes shut for a reason... although with that reason gone, I guess the eyes can open now.

I open them slowly. The rooms a bit of a blur at first, I'd had them so tightly shut that I think I messed up my vision... and look it's starting to get dusky outside... so yes, a whole day in bed, no food... is it a wonder I'm hungry?

"That's better... `now' I can show you."

I look down at her... between my legs, and I lose my appetite for food. I said that, that would happen if I opened my eyes.

She takes her hands off of my hips and spreads my thighs... really wide. Wide so that both my knees are touching the bed... wide so that I'm open for her... ready for her.

"You see this, B?..."

She's running a finger the length of my slit... really gently. Her eyes are flicking between looking at her hand and looking at me. My eyes are flicking the same way. I'm raised up on my elbows because I like watching this. I've watched this already today... lots... but I'm not finished watching yet.

"... `this' is what I'm hungry for."

She slides that finger straight up inside of me. It's almost painful. I said she fucked me lots today... and I wasn't joking. I also said she fucked me hard... I meant really fucking hard. Now I'm sore all over.

My insides feel like they're swollen. Like they're grabbing on to that one little finger and trying to hold it in place... trying to not let it move, just in case she hurts me some.

I think I must wince a little because she's sliding the finger out again... ever so gently.

"You ok, B? You need me to stop?"

The tenderness in her voice is amazing. That same voice that has cursed with words that I'd barely be able to say for much of the day... telling me what she wants and where and how... and all in such colourful language. I never knew I'd find that such a turn on.

"Just a little sore..." Which I am. But even so.

"...I don't want you to stop though, Faith... just be gentle, yeah?"

She stops what she's doing completely and leans up to kiss me. She takes my mouth slowly... luxuriously... my mouth is sore too.

"I'll be gentle, B... I promise."

And she's gone again. And she's blowing again.

Such cool air. So sweet.

There's no urgency when her mouth finally touches me. It's not like any other time that she's done this today. It's different.

It's like she's kissing me the same way she just kissed my mouth.

Long slow strokes. No searching out my clit... no quick flicks of tongues... just a long slow kiss. It feels like heaven... no, that's wrong... it feels `better' then heaven.

She pulls away and blows again. That really does feel so good.

"Is that ok, am I hurting you?"

"Not hurting... so not hurting."

She smiles one of those special smiles at that. One of those smiles that makes you have to love her. Makes `me' have to love her.

She's testing me with her finger again. I feel so tight. Swollen shut.

"Do you want me inside you, B?"

Always.

"Slowly..."

And she does go slow. So agonisingly slow... but it's all I can take. No backwards and forwards... no in and out. Just in.

In me.

I moan a little as she comes to rest against my tender, swollen, but `oh so very much alive' sweet spot. She's not stimulating me really... she doesn't need to. I've cum so many times today like this, with her touching me there, like that... that I don't need her to stimulate me anymore. I'm almost cumming again from just that one finger touching me.

She keeps looking up to check that I'm ok. That it's not become too much. She keeps looking down as well. I know why. When I'm inside her I have to look... it looks like the best thing in the world. My hand inside Faith's pussy. Faith's hand inside my pussy. It `is' the best thing in the world.

She brings her mouth down again... raining soft kisses all over my clit. Gently sucking it into her mouth. Barley pressure... barely there.

I moan a little louder.

Her eyes search mine... my eyes lock onto hers.

Her finger is inside my pussy, my clit is inside her mouth, her eyes are holding me prisoner.

She starts the slowest rhythm. Still no pressure.

Just sucking a little harder every now and then... and with each suck of her mouth she presses her finger against my front wall.

I'm cumming and she knows I am. It's not a screaming loud, frantic fuck of an orgasm.

It's a long continuous intensely hot outpouring of orgasm. It's my body reacting with everything it has left. It's beautiful.

She just keeps on eating me, keeps on looking at me... gentle, gentle, always gentle.

I go until I can't anymore. Every last ounce of juice has been expelled... she has taken it all. Everything is hers.

There's no final scream. No need to let her know I'm done. She knows.

She slides the finger out, I think I must wince again, because that concerned look is there.

"I hurt you... you should of said no, B... I didn't want to hurt you."

Silly girl.

"You didn't hurt me, Faith... I'm sore, yes... but you didn't hurt me... that was..."

What was it again?

"...it was beautiful. It was perfect..."

And now she's up the bed and kissing my lips again. I'm sore all over. Can she kiss me all over?

"You know I love you, right?"

I've never been surer.

"Of course I know you love me. And I love you, Faith."

"No... I `really' love you."

"Uh... I `really' love you too

She's looking at me like she wants to explain, but doesn't know the words... and I know what she means... because I feel it too, but I can't explain it... I `really' love her... Hmmmm... how to break that down... maybe I can just tell her I know what she means without trying to explain what it is that we're meaning.

"I know what you mean, Faith... I mean it, I `really' know what you mean. I mean it too. We both mean it."

"What...?"

Too much meaning without any meaning. She looks pretty darn confused now.

"Uh... I `really' love you."

That raises a giggle. I guess my explanation wasn't the best.

"You still hungry?"

Oh god. What's she asking now? I mean I still want her... but surely I can have a little break? Maybe just ten minutes to let the slayer healing kick in... ease a bit of soreness.

She must catch my worried look.

"Jeez Buffy... not that kinda hungry! Although..."

She's running them fingertips up the insides of thighs again... AND again my hips are raising. I would shout at them to stop if I thought they would listen.

"... I could get that kinda hungry, looking at you there like that... all spent and totally wasted... probably don't even have the energy to beg me to stop..."

I swear I'm in hell. Or heaven. Or where the heck am I?

It feels so good... but I can't. Really I can't.

"... I could just keep fucking you Buffy... and you know you'd just keep cumming... over and over..."

Would I?

Probably.

"...I'd keep tasting you, eating you..."

I think I'm cumming!

"Faith! Stop!"

That came out a little harshly maybe. But oh my god! No more. Not yet.

"Hey... you started it... I asked if you were hungry, you got all bedroom eyes on me!"

Bedroom eyes? I never! Although if my eyes were open and I was looking at Faith... maybe I had bedroom eyes.

"Well now I've got kitchen eyes... I need food."

Am thinking about doing closed eyes again. Could be the only way we eat.

Food! Yes... eat food. All other eating with the eyes open.

"Don't start with the screwy eyes again, B... I won't touch, promise."

I was only thinking about closing them.

And maybe I was worried about 'me' touching.

"No screwy eyes... now food."

"Technically it's your turn to go, B"

My turn? There's turns? And I haven't eaten since I got here... how can it be my turn?

"My turn? I'm a guest... I can't have a turn..."

"Aww Buffy... go and get the food... I'll keep the bed warm."

And she does look great in the bed... looks really great... my eyes are travelling the length of greatness... I could lean over and just touch that greatness...

And I'm off the bed with my eyes shut tight in an instant.

And she's laughing at me.

"You said `no screwy eyes', B. You forget already?"

Damn her greatness!

I'm getting food.

"I'll get the food... and my eyes aren't screwy... they're resting. They're very tired eyes."

"Whatever, B... I'm looking at your ass... that just looks tasty. Better hurry with the food... I might have ta jump ya."

Jump my ass? Tasty ass? Who's hungry?

I think I'm gonna risk a peek. I wanna see Faith, hungry for my ass.

And boy she does look hungry. Now I'm really hungry.

"Jump me?"

I'm not really asking her to explain... I'm asking her to jump me.

"Jump ya, B... ya know? Set to rimming that pretty little ass of yours... now food, before I just might have to."

Ever heard of weak kneed? I'm weak kneed.

You mean there's more places she can put that tongue of hers?

"Uh... rim my ass?"

Is that the polite way to ask?

"Do I have to explain everything? You `have' been undereducated. Rim it, B... tongue it... slide my tongue right up there... you get?"

Yes please.

"I get..."

"Good... now food, cos I'm tempting myself here."

"...food? I get food?"

I thought I was getting rimming?

"That's the plan, B... then we'll set about the rimming."

She's wiggling those eyebrows... all hotness. I need to not be looking.

I turn to leave the room... and yes, I give my ass a little wiggle as I go.

I don't want her to forget.

"That's it, B... work it for me..."

She throws in a whistle for good measure... I don't think she'll forget. Maybe I should walk into the room backwards when I return? Just in case.

Once I get out of the room I straighten up and remember I'm not too sure where there is a kitchen. But it's a hotel so there must be one... downstairs. A naked scavenger hunt. Do I win a prize... can I choose my prize.

It's a bit chilled without any clothes, but I can't get clothes because I want Faith to remember.

The kitchen is more cold. I'm chattering non stop to myself to keep my mind off of it... inane banter with myself. Crazy, crazy Buffy.

I don't feel the tingle till the last second. I have just enough time to smile because Faith has come to join me... she couldn't wait... she's hungry for my ass...

"My ass must be tasty, Faith... ya just couldn't wa..."

I'm turning as I speak. And I know! That second as I turn I know it's not her tingle... if I hadn't been chatting to self I would've known sooner.

"...ANGEL!"

Oh my god.

This is so not the time and place I would want to see Angel.

And I'm naked.

"Uh... Buffy."

He's trying not to look at me. I'm trying not to die on the spot.

"Uh... Angel... fancy seeing you here... in the kitchen... your kitchen I guess, is it still your kitchen?... I... Uh..."

I know no amount of babbling will cover my naked flesh.

"Yeah, it's still uh... my kitchen... I uh... I came to see Faith... I didn't know you was here."

Well ya got to see a whole lot of Buffy. Oh yep.

I grab a tea towel and try to cover up. It's times like this that it's good to be small.

"Right... I'll go get Faith. Yep... gonna go get her... right now, leaving, getting Faith."

I ease my way round him, trying to keep covered. This is a nightmare.

A really bad and horrible nightmare.

I speed up the stairs and back to the room. I forget to go in backwards. I forget about my ass.

"That was quick, B... where's the food..."

She looks so confused. Try being me.

"... and what's with the towel?"

"Angel..."

It comes out a bit strangled. I think I might be in shock.

"Soulboy?... what about him?"

"Here... in the kitchen..."

And I swear if that huge grin on her face turns into a laugh, I will kill her.

"You're shitting me, B? And he saw ya like that?... damn! That dude must feel lucky!"

"Faith!"

My tone says it all. The smile is gone... she looks contrite.

"Sorry Buffy... it's just... ya know?..."

"No... I don't know. I just know that my ex-boyfriend just saw me naked in my new girlfriends kitchen... although it's actually his kitchen... and should I call Jerry now?"

"I'd have to catch ya at it, with him, to get on Jerry Springer, B."

She's really not helping.

"Faith... can we cut the comedy. It was horrid, ok? I'm scarred... he's probably scarred... and now I have to get dressed and go and see him again."

I don't think I'll be kissing `hello's' this time.

"Well this is fun. We can get all cosy..."

"Do not dare say `swap notes'."

"I wasn't going to. Jeez... calm it, B. It'll be fine... get dressed... we can go down, and we can tell him I'm coming home with you. Ok?"

Well as she put it like that...

"Ok... you go first though. I need some time to find my dignity."

"Hurry, B... left too long... I might just flash him!"

I glare. It is a glare that all professional glarers would be proud of.

She throws on her shorts and vest again. If only I'd done that.

A quick kiss finds it's way to my lips as she leaves.

I guess this must be weird for her too. My ex and me naked and her here and us there and all day in the bed and now here and Arghhhh.

I find a few scraps of dignity on the floor in the corner. Luckily I find my clothes as well.

This is so not my idea of fun. I only wanted food. And the rimming...

Darn Angel!

And Darn him again.

If he wasn't already cursed... I'd sure be cursing him about now.

Faith's Pov

I'm trying really darn hard to wipe this smile from my face... I know it's `not' funny. Buffy getting caught naked by Angel... not funny!

I think I should consider taking a stake with me... after all a naked Buffy is pretty damn hot... definitely inspires a lot of moments of perfect happiness in me. What if the big guy has gone losing his soul. Could happen.

He's waiting for me down by the front desk. He looks ok.

"Hello Faith."

"Hey... Angel?"

Now he looks at me odd.

"Who else would I be?"

"Doesn`t matter..." I guess we're safe.

"... not important."

"Right."

I can feel the start of an awkward silence. I can't be bothered with awkward silences.

I pop myself up on the desk, and stretch myself up. I ache in a few places... possibly lots of places. But it's a nice ache. An ache that says I spent the day in bed with a rampant slayer.

If I lick my lips I can still taste her there.

I wanna keep licking my lips, but that could start to look strange.

If I raise my hand to my face I can still smell her on my fingers.

I do raise my hand, and inhale. Not obviously, I do it all sneaky... and yep... the aroma is intoxicating.

Buffy.

Angel's now looking at me kinda strange... his nostrils are flaring... and oh man! That's kinda gross... I just know he can smell what I'm smelling. Makes me put my hand down in a hurry, that's for sure.

"So what ya doing here then...? Ya come to cop an eyeful?"

Oh he squirms. The big cool vamp guy squirms!

"I didn't know Buffy was here... I came to see you."

"You wanna cop an eyeful of me?"

"NO! I came to talk to you."

Too easy.

"Just messing with ya Angel... calm down. So what ya wanna talk about?"

"You know what I want to talk about Faith, my offer still stands... I want you to think about staying in LA."

"I told ya, I'm going home."

"But have you thought it through? The Hellmouth is closed, there's no need to stay in Sunnydale. LA could use a slayer."

"Well, it can take it's pick from all the other slayers then, can't it?"

I'm not staying. No way.

"Is this because of Buffy?"

"That's a factor."

"So it is serious then?"

"Damn right it's serious... what did ya think? I was just using her to get my rocks off?"

"No Faith, It's just... the other day you didn't seem so keen to talk about Buffy, had come here to get away, now it's serious. What happens if things go wrong?"

Well he's the original bringer of good tidings isn't he?

"If things go wrong...? Well... seeing as it's me, I figure I'd join up with some major kick ass evil, go crazy and destroy the world... that what ya meant?"

He's squirming again, but so what. He wants to question my sanity, I'll give him the answers.

"No Faith. I meant that... you and Buffy have history. Not all good. You're both capable of hurting each other... I don't wanna see either of you get hurt. I don't want you to rush into something that could end up causing you pain. Would it be so bad to stay in LA, to take the time to build something with Buffy?"

Should I think about that?

I don't know. I never said I had all the answers. I just know how I feel.

"It feels like I've waited forever as it is, Angel. I want to be with her... hell, I `need' to be with her."

"So you won't even consider it?"

"I did consider it. I considered it the whole time she wasn't here... and do ya know what? I felt empty... spent the whole time praying that we would work it out soon, so I didn't have to feel so empty."

I look up and Buffy's coming to join us. Angel looks a bit disappointed.

Wonder if it's because he hadn't finished grilling me, or because Buffy's put some clothes on. I know which one I'd be most disappointed about.

"Angel... uh, hello?"

She's blushing. She looks hot when she's blushing. I want her.

"Buffy. Hello... good to see you."

"I'll bet it was!"

"Faith!"

Ooops. Didn't mean to say that out loud. B's shooting me daggers, Angel just keeps looking down.

I flash a smile at Buffy, one of those smiles I know she likes. She can't stay pissed at me... well I hope she can't.

She returns my smile. Disaster averted.

"So how are you?"

"I'm good thanks, Angel. Stopped another apocalypse."

"Willow came through with the magic ok then?"

"I never doubted it, she's one powerful Wicca girl. And the amulet helped of course... thanks for that."

"Not a problem."

And now it goes quiet again. It is really awkward I guess.

"Look guys, love to stay and chat, but I'm wicked hungry... B, I'm gonna throw some clothes on and head for pizza... what ya wanting?"

I'll leave them to have whatever conversation they need to have. See I'm tactful and everything. I'm kinda impressed with myself.

"I'm wanting..." Oh I catch `that' look.

"...hmmm, whatever your having will be good. Thanks Faith."

"My pleasure B... and Angel, I'll catch up with you later, ok?"

"Call me before you leave. I hadn't finished."

A pointless call, but I guess I can do that.

"Whatever ya say."

I go upstairs and throw the clothes on. The room smells of sex. Hot sex.

I love it. I stand there for a minute just inhaling me and B. Makes me horny.

When I go back down, they've sat down and started talking. I'd like to listen in, but I won't... I don't need to.

Also my tummy rumbling urges me to go for pizza, sooner, rather then later.

And I like to listen to my urges.

When I get back, there's no sign of Angel and Buffy, meaning I guess that they had their little chit chat and he's gone home.

Can't say I'm not relieved, wasn't in the mood for more talking. I know what I want to do, I know what I'm going to do... and I really don't need Angel's permission to do it. I stayed out longer getting the pizza in the hope that he would be gone.

I track down Buffy to the shower. I almost go to knock on the door before I go in, kinda dumb when you think we've spent the whole day fucking, but I'm still not used to it. I still want to pinch myself.

I go in and the rooms all steamy, smells of shampoo and soap... and my mind can't help but wander to images of B naked... all wet... soaping herself... Mmmmm

"Hey B, ya miss me?"

"That you Faith?"

How many other girl's she expecting?

She steps out the shower and wraps herself up in a towel. I watch every movement. Eyes raking over her body, following all the stray little drops of water. I want to lick her from head to toe. Slowly.

I move towards her, it feels like I'm being pulled.

"You're looking good there, B... good enough to..."

"Did ya get the pizza?"

"Huh?"

I was forgetting the pizza.

"The pizza you went out for... did you get it?"

What's wrong with her? I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything to deserve harsh tones.

"Course I got it B, what's eating your ass?"

"Nothing... I'm fine. Totally fine."

She offers me this clipped little smile, doesn't even get close to her eyes... not that she's looking at me.

I reach out with my hand... just graze her arm... feel the water still on her... feel the electricity from the touch.

"Tell me what's wrong?"

"I said I'm fine, Faith."

She pulls away from my finger tips and heads for the door.

This doesn't feel like fine.

"Why doesn't this feel like fine, B?"

She stops and turns. Now she looks me straight in the eye.

"Can we not do this right now? I'm hungry, ok?"

"Right..." I can understand hungry... but what are we not doing now?

"... but what's `this' Buffy?"

"I've just got stuff on my mind. We'll talk after dinner."

Great. More talking.

"You do realise I have no idea what's going on here, right?... I go for pizza, everything's cool... I come back... everything's screwy..."

She holds out one of her hands... reaches to me.

"Everything's fine Faith, nothing`s `screwy'... just come and eat, then we'll talk. No big."

Well I feel much better now, cos yeah... this feels like `no big'.

I follow her back to the room. The room that smells like me and B and a whole lot of hot fucking. I wonder if the smell affects her as much as it does me?

If I wasn't feeling slightly uneasy I'd ask her.

I do feel uneasy though. Just a feeling that something's not right.

In my mind all I can think about is Angel. I can't think what he would of said to freak out Buffy... but what else could it be? He `must' have said something.

Can't wait till after dinner. Can't wait to find out.

Faith's Pov

Well dinner was fun. Although I guess that depends on your definition of fun.

`Funnily' the pizza tasted much like cardboard, and it was all I could do to chew and swallow. Buffy didn't fare much better. She pretended like she was engrossed in the eating... but her eyes betray her. She was miles away. No doubt thinking over the `stuff on her mind'.

I swear I will kill Angel if he's said something to upset her. He can upset me all he likes, I can handle it... but if he's upset Buffy... hell, then I'll be pissed.

She's `clearing away' now. Pizza boxes need a lot of clearing away. Don't be fooled into thinking it's just a case of throwing them away... oh no. Buffy's managing to make it into a real long job.

I watch her as she flits back and forth. She's so beautiful... I could watch her forever.

But we have to talk.

"Hey Buffy...? Ya gonna stop that and come talk?"

"I'm just clearing away... I won't be long."

"Clear away later."

She stops and looks at the nothing she's clearing away. I see her take a deep breath... like she's steeling herself to say something.

"Ok... I'll clear later." She looks at where I'm sitting.

"Do you want to stay here or go somewhere else?"

"Your call B, lead the way, I'll follow..."

I really don't care where we talk. I just wanna know what we're talking about.

"How about upstairs? I can get my bits together while we talk."

In the bedroom that smells of hot sex? That's a great idea... make me horny, and make me talk... I love to talk when I'm horny.

"That's fine... I can get my bits together too."

Now I get that stupid clipped smile again. She has to know that I'm not fooled by that smile.

"Uh-huh."

"Right."

I've gotta wonder if I stumbled into some alternate universe on the way back from pizza. This is so not the way things should be right now.

I am not doing more angst. We said `no more angst'. I meant it.

The sheets are all messed up on the bed. The smell is wrapped around my head.

And I can't tear my eyes away.

My body is so tight. I'm holding myself taut, just so I don't launch myself at Buffy. I want to.

She's looking at the bed too. And that smile does reach her eyes.

"Quite a day, huh B?"

"Hmmm... yeah."

"So do ya wanna sit down?"

Cos there is only the bed...

"I uh... I was going to get my bits together... but I can sit. Sitting is good."

We make our way to the bed and sit opposite each other. Reminds me of a time before.

"So what's up then, B? And don't say `nothing'... I know something is up... and I'm guessing it has something to do with Angel... right?"

My plan is to get this done with quick. Bring out the issue, less time talking.

"Nothing is up Faith..."

Did I not say `don't say nothing'?

"... it's just Angel said some things. Maybe things we should think about."

I KNEW IT!

"Oh come off it B... you can't tell me you've gone all screwy on me, just cos of Angel... that's such bullshit... don't tell me, it went like this..."

"Wait Faith."

"... why? I know how it goes."

"Because we're talking. And that includes listening to each other, right?"

Damn it!

I don't want to listen. I really have heard it all before.

But then, we did say we would listen to each other. Avoid the big crazy fights.

"Fine, I'll listen..." Anything for her.

"...but don't expect me to just sit and be happy about it... this is crap."

"You don't even know what I'm going to say... how do you know it's crap."

"Hmmm let me think... it came from Angel... it's got you acting pissed... and I know I've heard it all before. Crap Buffy... ya gotta learn to know it when ya hear it."

"Oh for god sake, Faith... less defensive please?"

"So I'm wrong then?"

"What?"

"Jeez B... pay attention! So Angel didn't tell you that we should take things slow... that we're gonna hurt each other... heck, you probably got the `Faith will end up psycho' version... he leaves that bit out for me, it's not good for self esteem, ya know?"

"It wasn't like that Faith."

God damned son of a bitch. I bet it was exactly like that. Thank you, Angel.

"Don't shit me B... Angel's got ya thinking that this is wrong, yeah?"

"No! He never even suggested that this was wrong... and if he had, I wouldn't have listened... I know this isn't wrong Faith... he just said some things that made me think."

He couldn't have just kept his mouth shut and saved the drama?

"Things like what?"

She looks like she doesn't want to speak. Maybe that would be best. Lets not give voice to Angel's opinions. Just cos the guy is ancient, doesn't mean he knows best.

"He said that maybe we're rushing into this..."

"Asshole."

"...do you want me to carry on?"

"Sorry Buffy. Go right ahead."

I lean myself back, lay myself out... close my eyes and focus. I'll listen cos I have to. Then I'll talk and she will listen.

"He asked what would be so wrong to have you here in LA for a while..."

Asshole.

"...that if `this' is real, then surely we don't need to rush. You can stay here and slay... and we can build something..."

I really have heard this all before.

"B... I'm gonna stop ya, not cos I don't want to listen... but cos I have to ask. Do `you' think we're rushing this? Do `you' want me to stay in LA?"

Because that's what it all comes down to. Not what Angel wants.

"Of course I don't... I never wanted you in LA. But what if I'm wrong? I don't have the best track record when it comes to relationships... what if we mess this up? I couldn't bear that."

"Aren't I sposed to be the one with the doubts, B? I've `never' had a relationship to even have a track record... all this is new to me."

"So what do you think?"

I don't think. I know.

"This is what's right. I know it. I feel it. And Angel can throw out as many... `I don't want you to get hurt'... sermons that he likes. Doesn't change a thing..."

I sit myself back up. Look my girl in the eye.

"...I think I always wanted you, B. Fuck it... I know I've always wanted you, and I didn't finally get to here... to being with you, to take a step back to think about it. That's just messed up."

And in my mind it is. I know we clash sometimes. So what?

"But what if... what happens if..."

"Just spit it out, ok?"

"What if I driveyoucrazyagain?"

I knew Angel gave her the 'psycho Faith' version.

"You really think that could happen?"

"No. The thought never crosses my mind... but I can't say hearing it doesn't scare me. I don't... I can't... I love you Faith, I just hate the thought that I could screw you up."

"Do ya know how tired I get of hearing about psycho Faith? It doesn't matter how any times I say I've changed... people always wonder... pisses me off."

"I don't wonder. Although I guess me asking the question, probably makes you think I do wonder... but I don't. In fact if anyone asked me `hey Buffy... which slayer would you most tip for crazy?'... I'd say me. A big me. It was just hearing him say it... it made me think, made me remember... was it really all my fault before, did I make you crazy?"

Huh?

I didn't think we were going to be talking about this. I didn't think we had to. What 'did' Angel say?

"No way. I was fucked up Buffy... I'm sure you remember. Wasn't anyone's fault. And it certainly has nothing to do with `us' now."

"So if I'd let myself love you before, it wouldn't have stopped what happened?"

"The knife in the gut might have been harder to take if you loved me... I'd have been expecting something more like flowers maybe... but no. If you'd loved me then, B, I would've found a way to fuck it up. Probably would've taken you down with me. I was messed up, angry..."

"And you're not angry now?"

I think for a minute. I look at everything I've ever wanted sitting just across from me.

"Maybe a little pissed at Angel... definitely need to speak with him..."

Or not.

"...but no, I'm not angry. I'm happy... or I'm trying to be happy. Finally it feels like things are working out. I have a place I love living, a girl I love loving... not much to be angry with B."

Her eyes are shining, and I hope it's not with unshed tears over me.

"I really don't want you to stay in LA, Faith."

"I'm not staying in LA."

It was never a question.

She leans back against the headboard and closes her eyes. It's such a deep sigh that leaves her lips.

It's times like this that I wish we didn't have the history we have together. That night under her window when she said that her 'just one wish' would be for everything to have not happened... that we just loved each other... well that's not gonna happen. In the background, there will always be what we did to each other.

I still love her though. I couldn't love her more. I love her in spite of what happened.

"So was that everything he said?"

The corners of her mouth are reaching up, trying to tug a smile.

"Well... he did ask if I was sure that this wasn't just... lust?"

"He did?"

"Yep."

"And you said?"

"Well he kept doing that thing where he flares his nostrils..."

It's just wrong when he does that. I mean, yeah... my powers of scratch and sniff are pretty funky too... but ewww.

"...so I asked him if it smelt like lust?"

"No shitting me? You asked him that?"

Go B.

"Uh-huh... he was getting to me a little with the pep talk... and that smelling everything... it's just wrong. So yeah. I asked him if it smelt like lust."

"And...?"

"He dodged. Asked me what I thought."

"And...?"

"I told him I `knew' it smelt like lust."

I have to laugh at that. And she's right. I can smell the lust everywhere. This room is the original lust den.

"I'm sure he appreciated that answer."

"Not really... I had to launch into my `I love her because...' speech."

"You have an `I love her because' speech?"

"I do now."

That's a speech I'd like to hear. Not now, but sometime. The reasons Buffy loves me... Hmmmm.

"You sure it's not just lust, B?"

"Faith!... Do I have to give you the speech?"

"Does it mention my hot body?"

"No... although..."

She's checking me out. Check away.

"...it is pretty hot... could definitely help make the loving easier."

"You wanna make some loving now?"

"Are we done talking then? Was I done talking?"

How the heck would I know?

"Is there anything else to talk about?"

She stops with the checking me out... closes her eyes again. Maybe now she's checking that she's said all she needs to say. I hope she has. It's all bullshit. Angel's bullshit.

"Sorry I went all `doubting girl' on you... not that I was doubting, I wasn't. And sorry I was acting like an idiot before... Angel just made me think about things, I don't want to get this wrong."

"Doesn't feel wrong, does it?"

"Feels great."

"So stop worrying... I promise if you make me pyscho again, I'll leave for LA."

I offer her my best smile.

"And if you make me psycho?"

"Valid question..." I make a big show of thinking this over.

"... I know! If I make you go all psycho, I'll tie ya to the bed, stop ya getting into trouble. Ok?"

"And I can't do that to you?"

I suppose she could. Would save the back and forth to LA.

"Ok, B. Either of us goes crazy, the other ties them up."

"Deal."

"Good."

She's still leaning her head back against the headboard. I move my position so that I'm straddling her. Looking down at her.

"You wanna make that love now, B?"

"What about packing our bits together...making a move...?"

"Leave it. It can wait."

I lean down and run my tongue along her neck, I love the way her pulse quickens beneath me.

I'm doing this to her.

"Mmmm... it can wait?"

"Yep. I say one more night here before we go home to a house full of slayers and no privacy... that ok with you?"

"I forgot about that."

She's opening the buttons on my pants.

"You forgot... a house full of people... and you..."

She pushes her hand straight inside my jeans. I'm not wearing panties... I only went for pizza.

"...forgot?"

"Mind on other things, Faith."

She's not taking this slow. I put my hands out in front of me to brace myself against the wall.

"What was your mind on?"

Her fingers are working their way inside of me. It's tough with the jeans on... but I'm wet, and she slides. And she's inside me.

"This."

And for the moment maybe it is all about lust. Maybe it is about her fucking me and me fucking her. But I don't care.

Because it's more. Even when it's lust, it's still more.

I don't love her because I want her so much.

I want her so much because I love her.

I `really' love her.

And that is all that matters.

Buffy's Pov

I move silently around the room collecting my bits together. It's not a big job, I didn't bring many bits, this was never going to be a long stay.

When I came here I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know if Faith wanted me here, if she would speak to me... if she would love me. But she did, and she did, and she does. Three out of three. I feel pretty lucky.

I look over at her on the bed, sleeping silently.

There just aren't words for her. She's everything. More then everything.

I nearly wigged out last night. Not with Faith, not being with Faith... just... this. It's all so real... and now... and wow. When Angel was suggesting time, taking time, making time... I was scared. Scared that he was right, scared that this is all so quick, and intense... and rushed?

Is it rushed?

I guess maybe. A few weeks ago I hadn't seen her in years, and now I love her. But I can't help that. I wasn't looking for it, I didn't ask for it. It just was.

Angel spoke about before... about Faith's `fragilities' as he called them... and that got me scared too. Who wouldn't be scared? Every ounce of me, all I want is for her to be happy. To be smiling. To have peace. We never really spoke about before, me and Faith... it was just like we knew we didn't have to... why dissect something that you can't change? That's irrelevant to who you are now... what you are now? But `he' made me think about it again. To remember the pain. Not just my pain, I'm past concentrating on my pain... but hers as well.

And I guess that's what wigged me. The pain.

`I think that I was made to love her...'

I've thought that a lot. At dark times, at bright times. Times when I've been alone, times when I've been `in love'. A piece of me always thought that I was made to love `her'. Meant to love her.

And now I'm living the proof... loving her is so... right? What's righter then right? The rightest? But it is. And so I wonder if not loving her... not giving this the chance the first time round... if I'm to blame for the pain. For all her pain.

Just one wish and I would change it all. But wishes aren't real.

She is real, and I am real. And this is real.

It makes me laugh when she's the one talking all the sense... like sometimes I want to be wrong, just to hear her being so right. It's like now that she's agreed to let herself love me, nothing can make her waver from that. Make her question it.

God knows where we would be if she had been questioning things as much as me.

I guess she would be here and I would be there. And this would just be pain.

It all makes me realise, makes me see, just how wrong Angel is. Faith is not fragile. She is strong. So strong. She sees things the way they are, good and bad, and she acts upon them. Maybe that's the way it's always been... she wasn't fragile, she just chose what the best option for her was. A swanky apartment... a person that `cared' about her...

I was the one denying the truth. Denying `us'.

I look over at her sleeping again. My world on a bedspread.

I denied that... I denied her... I denied us...

So tell me Angel... which one of us was crazy?

At least we have a safety net in place now though... I mean tying to the bed? I can't wait to go psycho.

A low moan brings my eyes back to her. How do I ever let them leave her? I mean really... she's just so...? Yummy?

She's on her stomach. The sheets are twisted around her waist, beneath the dip in her back, beneath the first glimpses of ass.

The smell of her, of us... it's all around me. I never knew sex smelt like this. But then I guess I never did it like this before. It's so thick, and real... almost like you can taste it, touch it, feel it. It makes me hot for her. Hotter.

I feel so compelled to touch her, it's like raw need... just anything. Just one touch.

My fingertips find their way to her hair and I brush it back from her face, uncover her beauty, uncover her smile.

She smiles in her sleep?

I like that.

It makes me smile too.

From her hair, it's an easy path to her neck, to her shoulder, to her back. All one fluid movement... just grazing. Just one touch.

She moans low in her throat again. More of a sigh. I take it as a call to continue.

I take off the shirt I had been using to cover me from the morning air and sit myself gently astride her ass. Just where the sheet is. Just preventing contact.

All my fingertips touch her now... slowly, running down the length of her back, and up again... so lightly... so delicately. I just want to revel in her for a moment... to touch her without it being more. I know in seconds that I'll want to take more... will take more.

I increase the pressure of my touch until I'm almost massaging her. Kneading gently the muscles which are so well defined on her. Massaging up... smoothing down. Over and over and over again.

I go into a trance and it's a surprise when I feel her respond to me.

She moves both her arms above her head and stretches them out. I pause for a minute just watching her, just needing her.

"Don't stop B... that feels wicked."

It comes out all groggy and sleepy and so darn cute. I'm never stopping. Nope. Not ever.

"Morning, you."

"Hmmmm."

I guess she's in the massage. Not the chat. As long as I can still touch her, I don't care.

I'm firmer now that she's awake. I use the strength on her that I like on myself, the strength that would damage other people's muscles... but that's just enough to loosen ours out. To make them relax.

I still use my fingertips to smooth her down. Gliding over her... gliding around... tracing the outline of her breasts... all the way down till they meet at the base of her spine... almost touching myself. Almost.

I press my thumbs into her as I travel back up, undoing all the knots, unravelling all the tension. Her sighs of satisfaction tell me that this is right. She likes this.

As I go to make the return journey again, she changes the moves. She lifts herself up, not a lot... just enough... just enough so as instead of tracing an outline, I'm cupping her breasts... kneading them... holding them... feeling her nipples slide between the grooves in my fingers... pinching them... rolling them...

"That feels so good, B."

You don't need to tell me.

I lower myself down so that `my' breasts rub against her back... not hard... just teasing myself... testing myself. I gasp from the touch... it's so little and so much...

My tongue leaves my mouth to trace along the line of her shoulder, she tastes so good that I immediately want more of her. I nip at her... soft bites... gentle sucks... if I could I would consume her... anything to have her inside of me.

She's pressing herself down into my hands now. Searching out a harder contact... letting me know that I'm not the only one wanting. Needing.

I move my mouth to her ear. When did ears get so beautiful?

I nip at that a little too... it makes her moan... sigh... breath deeper, breath faster.

"I want you, Faith..." I suck on her neck just behind her ear, almost savagely... at odds with every other touch I've given.

"...I want you so much..."

Her hips are starting to move underneath me, pushing herself into the bed, her ass grinding against my centre... making me wet... making me moan...

"...do you want me, Faith? Do you need me?"

She lifts her body to release my hands.

"I need you."

The words I long to hear.

I slide my hands up her arms, so I'm laying almost along her.

My body is pressing hard against her, making her rhythm more real, giving her something to work with.

"Do you need me like this, Faith?"

"More..."

I want more too...

I pull myself up. It's hard. She felt so good underneath me, writhing because I made her writhe.

I pull the sheet off of her ass, away from her legs... uncover her, unwrap her.

And her ass looks so sweet. Her legs are open just enough that I can see the wetness that's shining on her lips... it makes me ache deep inside. Her wetness... my wetness. I did that.

Laying myself back down is easier.

This time my hand is between us... rubbing along her slit... coaxing her open.

"Like this, Faith?"

My words are hitched as they leave my throat... I'm so turned on from touching her... from feeling her.

"More, B..."

I use my legs to urge hers to open. My pussy is pressing hard into her ass... pushing hard against my hand... backing up the finger that's circling her opening... that's sliding inside of her.

I sigh as I feel myself being swallowed up by her... it's such an empowering feeling... me inside of Faith. It drives me wild.

I join my first finger with a second... I travel as deep inside her as is possible... twisting my hand... searching all of her walls... in and out... always moving.

"I want to fuck you, Faith..."

And I lie, because I `need' to. The want is nothing compared to the need. I pull myself up to my knees behind her, slip an arm around her waist, and raise her up too.

"...is that what you want?"

"Oh god, yes..."

Her voice is so thick with desire, so husky from her sleep... if I wasn't intent on having her before, then nothing would stop me now.

I keep sliding my two fingers in and out of her, not too hard... sometimes taking them completely out... not only to run them forward to rub her clit, to spread her juices, but also because I love the moan she makes when I do it... the sound of her needing me back inside of her... it's so hot... so everything I need to hear.

The next time when I pull my fingers out, I break contact completely... I know it's evil, but I want her to want me completely, I want her to need me completely... she sighs her protest, but it's not enough... I wrap an arm around her waist and pull her hard into me, rubbing her against me... her open pussy rubbing against my hard mound... I can feel her wetness as I grind into her...

"Fuck, B..."

...she's so hot, she's scorching me... and it's making me wet, so undeniably wet.

The arm that's wrapped around her I let fall between her legs. I search out her hard nub... so ready for me... I can imagine how much she wants me to touch her... because the want is coursing through me too.

I circle her clit with the same rhythm I'm using to push myself against her... I run my fingers back, gathering more wetness... I run my hand further back so I'm touching myself... finding my own hole, my own source of wetness... and I push my fingers in, just a little... just enough to make me sigh... to make Faith aware of what I'm doing...

The angles hard and I can't push into myself as much as I'd like... for the moment it's enough though... Faiths pussy and my pussy, coating my hand... her juice inside of me... god, I need to fuck her...

She's let her head drop so she can watch what's happening between her legs... I guess she can't see much... but she still knows... her hips are keeping up a rhythm... rubbing herself against my arm that's reaching between her legs.

It all feels so good. So fucking good.

I release my fingers from myself, and return them to her clit... I flick across it, back and forth... such light touches, when I know she needs so much more...

"Please, Buffy... fuck... oh god, please..."

Hmmm, that sounds great.

I give her a little of what she needs... I let my fingertips find her hole again... so softly caressing her... and she's trying so hard to direct me... to push against me, to push down onto me... but I won't let her... because I want to fuck her, like `I' want to fuck her... I want to control this... all of it.

"Does that feel good Faith... do you like that?"

My other hand I run up her back... again so soft... so barely there... I let it slide around to her breast... ghosting my palm across her nipple... she cries out when I pinch it hard... I'm almost rough with her... but I want the contrast... one hand rough, the other so soft.

"Jesus, B...that feels... ahh... please..."

Not yet.

I'm still grinding into her ass as well... so many points of contact... so many different ways of possessing her, of making her mine.

My fingertips are slowly edging their way deeper inside of her... bit by bit... a little way in, all the way out... I surprise both of us when I finally thrust into her hard... it's not too deep, the angle is still against us, but it is hard... and it's relentless.

She cries out again, and it sounds so good. I know she doesn't cry for anyone else.

The hand that was holding her breast prisoner in it's grasp, releases and comes back to join my other... both working at her pussy... one slamming in to her as much as it can, the other rubbing hard against her clit... I want her to cum... I want her to cum hard... and then I'm really going to fuck her.

I don't have to wait long... I feel her tensing all around me... the hardness with which she's pushing back... the moans gathering speed as they leave her mouth. The moans of sweet release. It's all so what I want to hear. My hands are covered in her, and I can't resist raising one to my lips to take a taste.

I love it. I love her.

She comes down slowly, sagging back a little against me.

"B... that was... wow... right?"

That was starters, Faith.

I take all that I can of her from my fingers, and drop them from my mouth, running them along her back again... teasing her spine... a feathered caress.

My other hand is still inside of her, just leisurely moving... no pace, just moving.

"Do you want more, Faith?"

Because I'm having more. I'm having all of you.

I feel her muscles clench around my fingers as her pussy understands my words... she wants more.

She starts trying to push back into me again... but I'm done with that. I push her forward a little and let my hand travel her spine, down past her ass... stopping for a second... just a tease... maybe a promise?... then I'm inside of her...

Both my hands... one from the front, one from the back... fucking her... really fucking her. It feels so god damned hot, my head feels kind of crazy... my eyes wanna pop out of my skull... two fingers from both my hands are pushing deep into her... she's so tight around me...I push one hand forward to rub at her front wall... the other I pull back against her back wall... I want to fill her absolutely... I want her to know that I'm inside of her... totally inside of her.

Her words make no sense... but I understand them... they all speak of pleasure... of want and of need...

She cums again so quick that she surprises me... maybe surprises herself... she's screaming... and cursing... but I don't stop... this is barely the main course...

In my head I know what I want to do... ever since last night, the way she was looking at my ass... I've known what I want to do...

The words sound so foreign as they leave my lips, but they sound so right too.

"I want to fuck your ass, Faith... can I do that... can I have your ass?"

I haven't ever done it before...never... but I want all of her. Everything.

"Oh god..."

Spasms rack her body again... the fact that I was still fucking her... the words that I spoke... it's enough for her to be cumming all over again... to keep cumming...

I slide one hand away from her pussy... up to her ass... rubbing around... pressing gently... coating her in her own juices...

I'm a little unsure... I don't know how hard to be... how gentle?

"Faith...?"

I cringe a little at the uncertainty I hear... I wanted to be all in control... but I just need a little direction... a little reassurance...

"Don't stop, B... just don't stop..."

I swallow my doubts and edge my finger a little way in... I'm surprised at how easy it is... like I expected resistance... but there isn't any... it feels like she's pulling me in... deeper and deeper... I can feel the fingers that are buried in her pussy, still slowly fucking her... and I match their rhythm... getting acquainted with this new part of her...

She's the one that picks up the speed... increases the urgency... regaining her strength, she pushes roughly back into me, making me thrust both hands further into her...

"Fuck me, B... please...fuck me."

And I lose any uncertainties that I may have still had. I am in control.

I pick up the speed... driving hard into both her holes... pushing her to the edge... pushing myself to the edge. I'm so lost in this... I feel so... powerful?...so in charge of her almost... every sigh, every cry... every drop of cum that is leaving her body is because of me... and that's such a heady feeling... I don't want it to stop...

I know when she's going to release again... she tenses and takes the rhythm somewhere even more... I'm pounding her... I'd swear hurting her... but she's urging me on... begging me for more... to take her harder... deeper... to fuck her...

When she screams, I scream... I was with her. I shake as she shakes... I collapse as she collapses.

So in tune. So together.

I so slowly leave her body... fighting against all the muscles that are holding me in place.

I don't want to leave, but I have to. That was the main course. But I need desert.

I place soft kisses everywhere I can, I let my tongue taste the sweat that's covering her body... I suck at her skin... she tastes so good.

And I want more.

I go to raise her again... sliding my arm back underneath her... pulling her up...

"Buffy...?"

She sounds spent... exhausted even... but I `need' more.

"Trust me, Faith."

She lets me lift her... lets me place her how I want her...open, ready... mine.

I move her forward to the top of the bed, she looks back at me questioningly, and I just smile at her...she makes me smile at her.

She gets my smile, she gets me... and she lifts her arms against the wall, bracing herself for what's to come.

It's so easy to find my way between her legs, to lay on my back and look up at her.

I slide my hands up her hips and gently lower her down until her pussy is just above my face, so swollen... so wet... so beautiful.

I bring her down the last few inches, closing the space so that she is on me, and I'm tasting her... my tongue seeking entrance to her... sliding inside of her... gently fucking her. She's riding my face, her head thrown back... no more sound coming from her... just the sound of me eating her... and I love it.

It's so slow and so intense, like I'm massaging her insides the same way I was massaging her back... drinking in all that she has to give.

When she climaxes this time she doesn't collapse, she goes to raise herself up, as if she doesn't want to hurt me, doesn't want to crush me... but that's not what I want... my hands are still on her hips and I pull her down hard, before she can resist... I pull her down so that she is completely surrounding me, her thighs locked solidly against the side of my face... and I force her into a rhythm... my mouth latching on to her clit and not letting go... sucking hard, moving her backwards and forwards... pulling her so firmly against me... I want to consume her... my tongue sliding in the space between my lips, rubbing against her clit all the time I'm sucking... and she is screaming again now... screaming my name... over and over...the blood is pounding in my head... and all I can hear is the roar of my name... she's calling to me and I won't let go... when she tenses it feels as though my head might explode, her thighs are so fucking tight around me, but I still pull her against me... going where she wants to go, needs to go... and then I'm covered in her... so much of her... flooding me... coating me... and I'm trying so hard to drink it all up, to take all that she's giving me... I want everything.

I need everything.

After forever she slides her way back. I let her. My hands helping her to move, instead of holding her tight. She falls onto the bed beside me, rolling onto her back. Eyes shut tight, breathing so shallow. And I have to kiss her. It's been so long since I kissed her.

She barely responds, but it doesn't matter. She's given me her all. This kiss is for me.

I lay myself back down, but on my side. Watching her. Loving her.

And I'd be happy to stay like this forever.

Finally she opens her eyes to look at me, and I don't know what to say. What do you say after that?

"Hey."

Definitely one of my more thought out sentences.

She has the biggest shit eating grin I have EVER seen in my life plastered across her face.

"Hey, yourself."

It's crazy but I feel kind of shy. After everything that just happened, the way in which I wanted her... I don't know... just kind of shy.

I drop my eyes from her persistent gaze... it's so intense, and I don't know what to do. Stupid huh?

"Come here, B."

I can do that.

I move closer to her and her arm reaches up to draw me in. Her lips are on mine and she's kissing me, slowly and deeply... her tongue massaging my mouth, like mine was massaging her pussy... it's such a perfect kiss, and I sigh when it ends.

"Buffy...?"

"Yeah?"

Wow. That even sounded timid. What is up with me?

"Look at me."

And of course I do.

"That... then... god, where to start..."

I can see her struggling to find the words, her emotions playing out across her face.

"...that was awesome, B... oh jeez... that was... I've never even... the best right?... that was the best..."

Ok, losing my shyness every time she says `best'.

"...I don't wanna say `fuck'... `that' was not fucking... but it was the best... anything, ever..."

And my heart is soaring, because somewhere in me... a part deep down that I didn't know even existed... that part needed to hear these words, needed to know that I'm her best... that I touch her like no one else has touched her... that I make her feel like she makes me feel.

"...I just want you to know that, B... call it `making love'... hell, call it what the fuck ya want... just know that it was awesome... Wickedly. Fucking. Awesome."

And if I wasn't so sure that she was spent, I'd take her again right now. But she is, and I know she is... so I settle for relaxing my body against hers... finding peace in her arms.

"I love you, Faith."

Three such simple words. Yet they say everything.

"I know ya do... and I love you too."

We settle into content silence, me listening to the sound of her breathing, hearing as she slowly regains her normal rhythm.

The sun is shining through the blinds now, it seems morning arrived properly whilst we were busy.

I'm famished. Starving. And I'm sure that she is too.

"You want breakfast, Faith?"

"Nah... not here."

"Not here?"

"Nope. I wanna go home, B... take me home?"

Damn right I will.

"I'm ready to go."

Well not physically ready. But I'm ready.

We lay for a little while longer, talking a little... kissing a lot.

She gets up and gathers her bits together, I already did that so I'm happy to lay and watch her. It's a shame when she puts clothes on, but it makes sense. The drive could get chilly without the clothes.

I ask if she wants to ring Angel before we go, and the look on her face says it all. I can understand... he really does wanna look out for her, but he has to understand, she's changed, we've changed... and the things he said to me, they hurt her. I know they did.

I take the time to ring Willow. Let her know we're coming home, let her know we're still alive... she lets me know that she already checked that. She's just a big ball of Wicca power that one! Although, the way things were when I left, I guess it didn't hurt to check.

I tell her we'll be home by dinner... I plan on taking a slow trip home, there's no rush... we have to stop for breakfast, and I'd kinda like to stop along the coast as well... take some `Faith time' away from the bedroom and the cemeteries. Just a few more precious hours of alone time.

Wills assures me that dinner will be done... that she'll shoo away the get-along-gang, so as we can have a nice Scooby get together... just us. A post apocalyptic, celebratory... Faith's come home, kinda affair. She's too sweet. And I'm already looking forward to it.

Our first Scooby meal, with me and Faith `together'. Makes me giddy. I guess I'm a big romantic.

"What ya smiling at, B?"

I am smiling kinda big.

"Just everything, Faith... everything's finally working out. And dinner... we're having dinner, the Scoobs... and me and you. As a couple..."

I giggle a little and she just laughs at me.

"...Buffy and Faith..."

"Faith and Buffy!"

"...Buffy and Faith!... as a couple... a pair... lovers..."

"You gonna keep going?"

"...the chosen two..."

"I'm going."

She starts to walk towards the door, and I rush to catch up.

"Buffy and Faith... sitting in a tree... K-I-S-S-I-N-G... first comes love..."

"Please stop there, B... this is gonna be the fastest break up ever otherwise..."

And I do stop, cos whoa, with the marriage and babies and whoa! I didn't think that little ditty through before I began...

I just feel all head rushy though. So happy.

"I love you."

And she stops, and she smiles and she loves me too.

So happy.

We get in the car and point it in the direction of home.

I am taking Faith home. And I am so damn happy!

Faith's Pov

And `again' I'm making the journey to Sunnydale.

This time it's not Willow that's come to get me. This time it's Buffy. My Buffy. And how fucking funny is that?

A few months ago... not many months ago, I was still in prison. I had no intention of ever seeing Sunnydale again. I would've caught up with the gang somewhere along the way, definitely... but B? Never.

I can't even think about what she means to me.

Faith in love. Is that even possible? I mean...of course it is. But how?

If you had told me, if you had warned me... going back to there would mean I fell in love with her all over again... I wouldn't have gone. I would've run for the hills. Maybe begged the warden to take me back. Even if you had told me that she would love me back... heck, I don't know... I probably still wouldn't have gone.

It's just the whole `love' deal. I've never got it... for a long while I've not wanted it.

And now I have it.

So can I keep it?

She looks so pretty next to me. Concentrating on the road. The sun's setting low and the last few rays are shining through the window to illuminate her face. It looks like they're searching her out... and why wouldn't they? She really is beautiful.

Always. Even when I hated her... which I really think I did for a while... I could never deny her beauty. Never deny the wanting her.

Buffy. Buffy. Buffy.

She flicks her eyes from the road over to me, and catches me staring. I've probably got a really stupid assed expression on my face... but then I was all lost in the beauty. And the wanting.

"You ok, Faith?"

And ya know... I think I'm the most ok I've ever been.

"I'm good B. How much longer till we get home?"

"Not long, maybe half hour." She flicks her eyes over again.

"You in a hurry to get there? Desperate to see the gang?"

"Desperate to get you into a bed, so as I can fuck you senseless."

"Faith!"

"Huh?... oh sorry B, did I say that out loud?"

I give her a goofy smile, of course I'm desperate for that... ever since the first time I touched her... the first time she touched me... I'm desperate for the next time.

"I'm only kidding... I have no interest in fucking you senseless, my main point of focus is seeing the gang. Can't wait."

And now she pouts. I guess with some girls ya just can't win.

She takes a hand off of the steering wheel and lowers it to my thigh.

"No interest at all, Faith?"

She starts to run it up and down... not really going anywhere, just up and down... but still, my body is reacting. Already it knows her, knows what she can do.

"Uh..."

"Because if you have no interest, then this won't affect you at all, right?"

She takes her hand from my thigh, and places it on her own. She has on a little wrap around skirt, that she was wearing at the beach... a sarong, and the gap is showing, flesh is bared...and she's touching that flesh.

"Holy fuck, B..."

She opens her legs just a little, just enough that her hand has a place to go... a destination to arrive at. It all looks so fucking hot... the fact that she has to keep her eyes on the road... when her mind is all about being in her panties... too fucking hot.

"Interested yet?"

I join her hand with my own. Tickling, teasing... making me want more.

"I want you, Buffy."

"Mmmmm. Sounds nice."

"Pull over."

She laughs a little. A giggle maybe.

She also returns her hand to the steering wheel.

"Faith, we're almost home. And plus... public highway."

"Don't care. Pull over."

She shouldn't have started this game if she couldn't finish it.

"I'm not pulling over."

I don't believe I asked her. I was sure I told her.

The hand I was using to tickle her, to tease her... well that hand is still there, and now I'm not teasing.

I search out the junction of her thighs and start to rub back and forth across the front of her panties. I know she's wet. Hell, I'm wet, and she only touched my thigh.

"Pull over, B."

I move the material aside so that I can touch skin. Soft skin. Wet skin. Her skin. God I want her, and if she doesn't pull over, I'm gonna have her here, and now, and screw the chance of accidents, cos I'll sure as hell die happy.

I can see her getting uncomfortable... her ass starting to move as her body seeks to find a rhythm... her hands on the steering wheel look ever so tight. Gripping so hard. I want those hands on me.

"Faith...?"

"Buffy, please. Just pull the fuck over."

I catch her eyes, and in them I see what I'm feeling. The need. Absolute fucking need.

She pulls over at the side of the road. I know you're not supposed to just stop, but this is important. And it won't take long. Not long at all.

She turns off the engine and releases her seat belt. I already took mine off, I was one step ahead.

My fingers are still touching her. Just gathering her wetness and spreading it around.

"Do ya want me, B?"

And I know she does, of course I know she does... but I love to hear her say it.

"I want you."

Just can't beat that sound.

I push my fingers inside her hard... she gasps and her ass raises right off of the seat... making it easier for me to get to her, to push into her. I set a fast pace... this is quick, this is now... she's keeping up with me, one hand still on the steering wheel, the other has found its way to my shoulder, where she's gripping me with a power that just turns me on. I love the fact we're so strong... that we need to be together to let it out.

"Is that good Buffy? Is this what you wanted?"

"Oh fuck yes... god... harder Faith, harder..."

And I do plough into her harder. I give her everything she needs.

It's so fast that if you were driving past and wanted to stop to see what was happening, you would miss it. She cums so quick. So beautifully. Her whole face screwing up, eyes shut tight... breathing so ragged... just bucking away into my hand.

When she screams her release, I can't help but smile. A huge fucking grin, that says everything I'm feeling. The love, the happiness, the horniness... and the absolute fucking great feeling, that it is me, Faith, that makes her feel this way. Makes her pull over in the car to have a quick fuck at the side of the road. Me that makes her not able to wait for an extra twenty minutes, because she has to have it now. Hell yeah, I'm grinning.

I take my hand away slowly, and raise it to my lips. I know I shouldn't... if I tease myself a little, I'm probably gonna end up dragging her from the car and sucking on her pussy, right here, right now, in front of anyone. But I have to have a taste.

Her eyes are heavy and lidded as she looks up at me.

"I love it when you do that Faith."

Huh?

"What B? When I fuck ya?"

She shakes her head and the ghost of a smile tugs at her lips. She is so beautiful.

"No silly, when you do that... when you taste me like that."

I take my hand away from my lips. I love it to.

I lean across and kiss her gently, nothing like the way I just fucked her. This is slow, this is soft.

"Do ya know what I love, B?"

She shakes her head and smiles again. Cute. A vision of cuteness.

"I love it when my tongue's pushing deep inside of you, and you're spilling out into my mouth... pulling me tighter against you, riding my face... that's how I love tasting you."

Her voice sounds kinda squeaky, like she's imagining me doing that to her now.

"I love that, too."

"How about later, after dinner...me and you, maybe we can head up to bed early and set to making it happen... you want that, B?"

"And we have to stop for dinner, why?"

"Well, your friends have gone to the effort to make it, Red said she would get everyone together... I figure it's rude to ignore that." She raises her eyes to signal her displeasure.

"But if ya wanna skip it, I'm sure they won't mind... just tell them what's so important... that ya need a bit of Faith goodness, and ya just can't wait."

"I'm sure they'd love to hear that, Faith."

"I'd love to hear it!"

She laughs and straightens herself out, starts the car up again.

Half of me wants to make her stop again, just because I know I can. She's hot for me. Always hot for me.

Buffy Summers... hot for me.

But then I'm hot for her too.

It's like I was thinking before she got me all horny. More horny.

It's her. Everything. Every high point, every low point... it's always been about her. About loving her, about not loving her.

And I do love her. I have no question in my mind, about whether this is love... I 'know' this is love. I'm not fucking stupid, even I can't miss the obvious.

So now we know that Faith can find love, can fall in love... the only little niggle I have at the back of my mind, is whether I can keep love? How do you keep love? How do you make it so they never stop loving you... so you never stop loving them. Because I know... I know that I will never stop loving her... it's a given... but what if she stops loving me? What if I fuck it all up and she can't love me? It's like I said to Willow... `I don't know how to have a relationship.' And that's what scares me.

"What are you thinking about, Faith? You look all pensive."

I swallow the lump that's been rising in my throat. There's no reason for me to be all melancholy... definitely no reason to mess up her head with my insecurities.

"Nothing, B... just happy ya know... thinking about us."

"Good."

Yeah. Good.

I forcefully take all my doubts and bury them somewhere far away at the back of my mind. I don't need to think about them. Everything is `good'. Everything's the best. And I'm just gonna have to make sure I don't fuck it up. Ever.

I could never live without her now. Wouldn't want to. Never going to.

Before I know it, she's parking the car up outside the house.

"Honey, we're home!"

I laugh at her excitement, you'd think I had been gone for ages, instead of a few days.

"I get that we're home B, but what's with the `honey'? You think I look like a `honey'?"

I certainly never pictured myself with that kinda nickname.

"I think you look like a hot piece of ass... but as terms of endearment go, I dunno...it's kinda lacking that certain... endearingness? Honey has much more potential for expressing love... ya think?"

"I think I prefer ya calling my ass hot."

And my ass is hot. Burning hot.

"Fine...from now on, you're my `hot piece of ass'...ok?"

"Suits me, B. And you can be..."

I never get to finish my sentence. In that second the door is open, and there's Red just itching to come say hello.

"...I can be getting out the car."

I hang back and watch her get out, watch her discreetly give a slight rearranging tug to her panties. It makes me want her...again. Cos I know why the panties need rearranging.

I swear being around her, I'm even hornier then normal. Crazy.

Willow finally comes around the car and opens up my door.

"Ya coming in Faith, or do you want dinner in the car... cos I can do that, it would be a shame, what with everyone else indoors... but if that's what you want?"

"I'm good Red, just savouring the moment, ya know?"

"I know." She gives me one of those looks, one of the looks that we've shared recently, the looks that lets me know she gets me... that she gets where I'm coming from.

"Welcome home, Faith."

And that deserves a smile.

Welcome home. I've never really heard that before.

"Home sweet home... is that right, Red?"

"You betcha!"

She gives me a mischievous look, checks that Buffy is gone from hearing range, and leans in to say something else.

"And there's plenty of sweetness in this house... just wait till after dinner..."

What? Ok... so how the fuck does she know my after dinner plans?

"Er... what ya talking about, Red?"

If she mentions me eating Buffy's pussy... well, I'll probably die laughing, but then I'll freak.

"Lets just say I got Buffy a nice surprise for dessert. A dark and yummy treat just full of creamy goodness..."

That sounds familiar. Like I've heard them words before. But then, it sounds like me... and I'm pretty sure that Willow isn't planning on serving me up for dessert.

"Uh...Red? Ya not expecting me to climb up on the table and recline, right? Cos I would and all, but well...I'm with Buffy now, and I don't think everyone else needs to see my `creamy goodness'."

And she laughs. Loud and long.

"Oh Faith... if only you knew how funny that is! No I'm not planning on serving up you for dessert..." And with the laughing again.

"...well not quite."

I just smile and humour her.

I tell ya, you go away for a few days... you forget just how fucking weird everyone is around here.

I follow Red into the house, and look wistfully at Buffy going up the stairs. I wanna follow, but I can't. We agreed that we'd make it to dinner. And if I follow her now...? Hell, we wouldn't even make it to breakfast.

And they'll be lots of time for going upstairs later. Now I'm gonna say my hello's, do my catching up.

Everyone makes a big show of saying hi, of welcoming me back, of letting me know I was missed... kinda makes me wanna stay.

Forever.

Cos this feels nice. It feels right and it feels just like home.

Dinner smells pretty good too... and dessert...?

I can't say I'm not curious...

Buffy's Pov

It's great being surrounded by the people that matter to you. To know that the smiles shared across the table are genuine, to know that the love you feel in your heart is real. That's how I feel right now.

Everything... everyone, that means anything to me, is here.

And the meal...? WOW!

Willow has really out done herself. I know of course she would have had help from the others... but this was her idea, and I can only thank her for it. To know that the reason for this dinner is Faith, makes me even happier. That my friends value her as much as I do... heck, they valued her `before' I did... but the fact that they support us, that they care about us, together as a couple... it just makes me smile.

Lots of things make me smile these days.

The way Faith keeps watching me out of the corner of her eye... that makes me smile. I don't know if she thinks I don't know she's watching me, but of course I know. I'm aware of everything she does. Every move she makes, every breath... I'm aware of all of it.

The way Giles is surveying the scene like a proud father... that makes me smile too. I guess we are all his kids. So long he's looked after us, picked us up when we've fallen, bandaged our scrapes, listened to our heart aches. To think of him as anything less then a father would be wrong.

Now Willow. I can't decide if I'm smiling at Wills. Ya know when something just seems a little bit afoot... a little bit like she thinks she has a surprise or a secret... and I don't know whether to be excited, or maybe scared. Because I like secrets and surprises, I especially like best friend secrets and surprises... but I don't know. She just looks a little... sneaky? Is it wrong to think of a best friend as sneaky...?

She's looking at me... and she's colouring up!

There is definitely something up. Something occurring. Well, if she thinks she is outsmarting the Buffster... numero uno slayer supremo... not gonna happen!

Tara is quiet.

Maybe that's the way to go, to find out what's up.

"Hey Tara, you seem pretty quiet... anything wrong?"

I direct my look firmly at Willow. I am on to you ya little sneakster... oh yes.

"I...uh, wrong?"

"She's just full up from dinner, Buffy. Not quiet... just full."

And the red head jumps in to save the girl friend. And she can't be full up, she hardly ate anything, compared to the amount me and Faith ate, she didn't eat `anything'.

"Is that right, Tara?"

"Uh-huh."

She goes all red to match her girlfriends hair. And such a sweet little smile she sends my way... definitely something going on.

"Full up? I thought we were having desert?"

"Xander!"

"What? We're not having desert? I saved room and we're NOT having desert?"

"The desert was a surprise... as in `don't mention desert Xander, it's gonna be a surprise.' Remember?"

"Oh."

Xander looks suitably sorry. I could kiss him. Although not in the boy girl kissy way, cos I'm all about the girl, girl kissy way nowadays... or the Faith kissy... kissing. Yep. All about the kissing Faith.

I could kiss Faith forever. Her mouth is so hot, so warm and inviting, and the lips... oh god those lips... to feel them against mine, her tongue sliding between them... that little groove... everything about them just screams `KISS ME'... she's licking them now... running her tongue across the top, oh so slowly...uh... and now the bottom... oh wait, she's pulling it in between her teeth, giving it a little bite... letting go... and smiling?

I look up and catch her eyes. They're staring straight back at me... and I guess I'm busted!

"See something ya like, B?"

She leans in and whispers this to me, all sultry and husky sounding... trying to get me worked up. It's working.

"Lips..."

I squeak? Could certainly come in useful against mice fearing demons... `A-HA! Stand back... or I'll squeak at you?'...I'm scared.

"Ya like my lips, B?"

"Oh yeah."

Good recovery.

"Ya want my lips?"

Everywhere.

I guess my face gives my answer, because before I even have the chance to register the fact that yes, my whole family is at this table, sitting around eating and chatting, and yes, if I kiss Faith here and now, then that would be like... well, like exposing them to... something really hot, and scorching... and kind of erotic too... before I have that thought, her lips are on mine.

Her hand slides it's way up the back of my neck, holding me firm to the kiss. Her mouth possessing me in a way that doesn't care if anyone is watching. Taking me. Tasting me. Her tongue pushing between my lips to duel with mine.

When she pulls away I'm breathless.

"I like your lips too, Buffy."

Well that's a relief.

I want to kiss her again, but Giles clearing his throat is maybe signal enough that everyone has had their fill of the `Buffy and Faith' show.

Sure enough everyone's eyes are fixed on us.

"What? Ya never seen two girls kiss before?"

"That's right, Faith... never seen it, not once... two girls `kissing'... what is the world coming too?"

"Smart, Red. So why ya staring?"

"Maybe Willow has never seen such a blatant display of sexuality at the kitchen table before, Faith."

Trust Giles to be all sensible.

"Well maybe she's not been using the kitchen table right then, hey G?"

He just stares at her. Maybe his brain is still processing.

Wills and Tara are sharing a look though... a sly look, punctuated by red cheeks and secret smiles... I'd definitely say they'd had their share of fun on the kitchen table. It's always the quiet ones.

"Guys, guys, guys... I `know' I'm pretty much grown now, but do we `really' have to discuss all your sex lives at the dinner table?"

"Quite right, Dawn. I'm sure we can call an end to this line of discussion, now."

And just when I was going to question Wills and Tar on there table expeditions... I guess there's always later.

Conversation drifts again, from subject to subject, person to person. I know I was thinking about something, but the kiss still has me distracted. It was something about Willow... and Xander... and the sneaky looks... and the...

"DESERT!"

"Huh?"

Everyone utters that sound as they turn to look at the crazy one.

"I thought Xander mentioned `desert'? Ring any bells?"

Again I stare firmly at Wills, she has to know I can not be fooled.

"Bells, Buffy? I don't think there are any bells here..." she looks all around her as if she's really searching.

"...nope no bells."

"And the desert?"

"There may be desert."

Her mouth is tugging so hard to pull out a smile.

What's the big deal with desert... we have had desert before. Admittedly not too often, usually it consists of a tub of ice cream flopped on the sofa after dinner... not sit down at the table and have desert on a plate. Kind of exciting. But not a huge deal. Unless it's a cake... maybe with writing on... like a congratulatory cake, or a welcome home cake... which must be it! It's a welcome home cake for Faith, and she's acting all coy because it's a surprise! That is `so' sweet. I love Willow.

I give her a little smile, and a knowing nod of the head. It's ok Wills... I'm in on the conspiracy... numero uno slayer supremo, has figured it out.

She looks a little confused, but smiles back anyway. Maybe she wonders how I figured it out. There's just no fooling me.

I can't wait to see Faith's cake. She's gonna love it.

I zone in and out of conversations, half my mind on Wills cake, and the other half on Faith's hand. It's not doing anything wrong... it `never' does anything wrong... it's just twisting in my hair. Twirling my pony tail... every now and then just raising to stroke the back of my neck... it feels sublime. I want her so much. Like earlier in the car.

I would NEVER be the kind of girl who pulls over for a quickie... but I just... wow, I guess I just needed her. In that moment, her touching me like that, and my body screaming at me to give it release... I `had' to pull over.

And now, in this moment... with her touching the base of my neck, just grazing her fingers along the curve of my shoulder and back again... in this moment I want to throw her to the floor and demand that she fuck me... demand that she thrusts her fingers deep inside of me until I can't take no more, until I beg her to please stop.

That would really freak Giles out though. Probably everyone else to. And me. After the fucking had been taken care of. I would definitely freak.

"So who's ready for afters?"

I wonder if Faith is still gonna take me upstairs for afters. Her tongue pushing up at me, running across my soft folds... me pushing down on her, riding her face... oh god... must stop thinking!

Everybody eagerly rushes out their desire for desert. That's good. We can see Faith's cake, eat quickly, and go upstairs.

"Buffy?"

Upstairs. To the bedroom.

"Ouch!"

She pulled my hair. Well tugged on it gently. But even still... girlfriends aren't supposed to do that.

"B, Red is asking you something."

"And ya couldn't have just said that... ya had to go all violent and hair tuggy?"

"That wasn't violent... it was, affectionate!"

She tugs again, not hard, but firm. And it does feel quite affectionate now that she mentions it. The way she is holding me tight, like she's in control of me... and the look in her eyes...

"Ok, affectionate."

I'll let her off this time. But only because she's my hot piece of ass, and I love her.

"So Buffy, you want desert?"

She looks worried that I'm gonna say `no'. Of course I'm gonna say yes, this is Faith's cake, I wouldn't miss out on this for anything.

I give her a reassuring nod and smile.

"I'll take double desert, Wills... extra helpings for Buffy!"

She starts to laugh. Tara is giggling too.

"Ok, extra helpings."

"No fair! Do I get extra helpings?"

Xander just sets her off laughing again. I can't wait to see this cake. It must be kinda special.

"Maybe if there's some left over you can get extra helpings... with Buffy's appetite though Xander... I'm thinking there's not gonna be much to go around."

"I'll save some for him, don't worry... if that's alright with Faith... I mean it's her..."

Oops. I nearly said her `cake'. That would ruin the surprise.

I don't get why Willow is laughing so hard?

"...it's her...uh... with the huge appetite! Yes indeed! You'd better ask her if ya want me to save ya some."

That was close.

Willow finally leaves the room to get the cake. Xander looks confused, I guess he wasn't in on the surprise. Must just be a girly thing, although Dawn looks a little confused too... Giles is just cleaning away at his glasses, probably wondering at the youth of today... Tara is picking away at her napkin, not gonna raise her eyes to look at us... and Faith.

Faith looks... not too confused. I hope she hasn't figured out the cake.

The cake is carried in all ceremonially by Willow. I think she's really gone to a lot of trouble. She places it down in the centre of the table, and whacks Xanders hand away from the cover.

"Wait! I just, uh, wanna say a couple of things."

A speech as well? I never knew she was such a huge fan of Faith, I mean I know they're friends... but this is just too nice.

"Right... err... I just wanted to say, that after everything we've been through together, all the times things have gone bad... and good, cos we've had good times too, although some times they're not the easiest times to remember, with the bad being so bad..."

Could be a long speech.

"... but I just wanted to say, that well...I love you Buffy, and I'm so pleased that things are working out for you... and that you're happy..."

Buffy?

"...and we just, well me and Tara, just wanted to get you this to welcome you home with Faith, and ya know...well done with the apocalypse, even though I guess we all fought this one together... but yeah, well done..."

She leans forward and uncovers the ca...

There is no writing. There is just the hugest looking creamiest hunk of gateaux I have ever seen in my life. And now I get it. This isn't about Faith... this is about me.

"...also..." she looks around at everyone, offers me a little smile.

"... not everyone will get the meaning of the gateaux, but well Buffy knows what it means... and I guess me and Tara just wanted to say, `welcome to the club' and we hope you enjoy the stay!"

She's cracking up now. Any deep seated emotions she had stirred in me with her little speech have been firmly buried. Oh yes. This is just another embarrass Buffy moment. Complete with cake. Or gateaux.

"I don't care what it means, it looks damn fine. So can we eat it now?"

"Better ask Buffy, Xander... it is hers to be dishing out."

"Buff...? What do ya say?"

They're all looking at me expectantly... well, Faith's just looking kind of confused. I guess I never did tell her the deal with the gateaux. I don't think now's really the time.

"I uh... yeah sure guys, help yourself!"

"You sure you wanna share, Buffy? All that creamy goodness... you don't wanna keep that all to yourself?"

"I'm sure, `thank you' Wills. It was SO nice of you to get me a cake!"

They all dig in and help them selves. There's lots of `Mmmms' and `Ahhhs', and general smacking of lips... I guess the gateaux is good... but then it was supposed to be a metaphor for Faith, so it should be damn good!

"Hey, B...?"

She whispers into my ear, and I turn my face to smile at her. Almost I catch her lips with mine. Almost.

"Yes, Faith?"

"What the fuck is the deal with the gateaux?"

I can't help but laugh. A full on deep down laugh. How do I begin to explain that one? And I know I can't here...

"I'll tell ya laters ok? Let's just say uh... it reminds me of someone."

"Reminds you of someone?"

Don't push for explanations.

"Later. Just eat and enjoy."

She leans in close again, and this time I do catch a whisper of a kiss for my lips.

"I know what I wanna eat, B... is dinner done yet, is it time to go upstairs...?"

All my insides involuntarily clench as they hear her words. I know what she wants to eat... I've been waiting ALL day for after dinner.

My voice comes out as a strangled whisper. The effect that she has on me... just with her words... just with the images in my head of what she can do to me... oh god... need!

"I uh... upstairs? Now? You don't wanna eat some gateaux?"

"I wanna eat you..." Her mouth is suddenly right next to my ear.

"...I wanna wrap my lips around your pussy and feast on you, Buffy... I wanna push my tongue so far inside you, god... I need to fuck you, B... can we skip desert?"

I don't know how to refuse. I sure as hell don't want to refuse.

I look across at Wills and she is just staring back with a knowing look in her eyes.

"Uh... Wills, I um... I'm pretty tired from the drive, ya know... and well I was thinking I might have a lay down, you don't mind do you?"

"You're really tired, Buffy? That's too bad." She looks at Faith and arches her eyebrows.

"So Faith, I guess you get to eat Buffy's portion too... which thinking about it, it's kinda like eating yourself... wait, ewwww, no... not like that, I uh... you get extra gateaux!"

"I'll eat B's portion later, Red... I feel pretty whacked out too, it's a real long drive, and well... ya kinda lost me on the `eating myself' comment, but ya didn't make me recline on the table, so we're good... and tired. I'm so fucking tired!"

"Guys! You can't skip out early on your own `welcome home' dinner, it's impolite!"

"Don't worry Dawn, just means we get more desert."

"But still..."

I can see Dawn getting her stubborn face on. Sometimes it works on me, but nothing is distracting me from my destination with Faith.

"Not up for discussion. We really are beat, and ya know tomorrow will be back to normal, same old grind stone... so yes, we NEED an early night, catch up on the Z's."

"Didn't you sleep in L.A.?"

No Dawn. Not really. We spent the whole time fucking each other senseless. In fact past senseless. All those hours spent deliciously delighting in each others bodies... all that hot sex... sleep? Who needs sleep?

"Uh... yeah, of course we slept! But the drive..."

"...Was `really' long, and we stopped for erm... at the beach, and the beach always tires me out... and B, with the constant chat, ya know..."

"...yeah, my constant chat is kinda tiring, right Dawnie?"

They all just look at us. I know they're not fooled. That's ok. I don't care. I just want Faith.

"What about slaying?"

Huh?

"Giles, you're kidding right? You can get the others to slay... I don't wanna go slaying tonight!"

I offer a pout the size of a scolded three year olds. Slaying never even entered my mind!

"But Buffy, you have had a vacation... the other girls might appreciate a break."

"Giles..."

Now I whine like the scolded three year old.

"...please? I am SO tired."

Why is he grinning at me like that?

"Just go to bed, Buffy."

He never meant for me to slay. I have been suckered. Must be sucker Buffy night. I look at Faith's amused face... Mmmm... luckily it's `suck Buffy' night as well...

"Thank you, Giles!"

We both stand up with an eagerness not normally seen in those tired out and needing rest. I'm gonna have to work really hard not to run up the stairs... all the seconds I have to wait till I get there... feels like eternity. I WANT her. I want her on me, in me, around me, over me, under me, touching me, tasting me, fucking me... I WANT HER!

"Right guys, thanks for dinner it was really nice, great to see you all again, thanks for desert, real thoughtful Wills, and Dawn we'll catch up tomorrow, thanks for the no slay Giles, you're a star...erm, think that's it. Yep. Uh... goodnight?"

Could I be more obvious?

"Yeah, same for me. Tired. Night guys."

Faith hooks her fingers in the top of my sarong, and starts tugging me out of the room. If she tugs too hard, I'll lose the thing all together, and `that' would not be funny. It's nice that she wants me though, I kinda want her too.

"Hey Buffy...?"

What Willow, WHAT?

"Yeah?"

"I guess this answers my question, right?"

"What question... you asked a question?"

I wrack my brain, trying to remember any unanswered queries... but I'm coming up blank, all I can see is Faith's mouth wrapped tight around my clit, her eyes as she looks up at me, burning into me... I think I might groan out loud.

"I was gonna ask, but with you being so `tired'... I didn't get a chance."

"Uh-huh..." Faith's tugging is getting more insistent, the sarong is so gonna go in a minute.

"...and the question was, or would be, or what... FAITH!...stop pulling my darn skirt off!...sorry Wills, you were saying? Or asking?"

"I was just gonna ask which tasted nicer?"

And how does a mind like that produce a smile so sweet?

Tara is giggling, Dawn looks perplexed... oh look, realisation crosses Xanders face, and yep, now he is leering at the sleepy slayers...Giles cleans glasses again...

"I didn't taste the gateaux yet, Wills, so I wouldn't know would I?"

"Oh for fucks sake...what is the deal with the damn gateaux? Red, give me a slice here, please."

I think Faith is getting impatient. Join the club.

Willow cuts her a massive slice and hands it over on a plate.

"Ok, B... now ya can have the gateaux in bed, can we go now... I am so fucking hor... uh... horribly tired!"

"Yes. Bed. Now!"

We throw retreating glances as we go to leave the room. I should have known that Wills would have to get her last word in though.

"Enjoy desert Buffy... eating gateaux in bed, you lucky, lucky girl!"

She starts to laugh, and Xander just ups the leers.

"Make sure to go back down for seconds, Buffy... I find it gets tastier each time."

OH MY GOD!

"TARA!"

I never expected that from shy sweet lovely Tara.

"Just telling you how it is, Buffy."

"Right...thanks, I'll bear that in mind."

As I leave the room Willow and Tara are swapping the kind of glances I've been sharing with Faith all through dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. I guess I'm not the only one with desert on my mind.

Faith is waiting at the bottom of the stairs. She's scooped her finger all the way through the cream on the top of the gateaux and is offering it out for me to taste.

"You want a little taster, B?"

I take her finger into my mouth and suck long and hard. It really is a great taste... it is all dark and yummy, and the creamy goodness...

"Slow up there girl, I need that finger."

She wiggles those eyebrows at me and takes her finger from my mouth. She trails it slowly down my jaw, down the front of my chest, past my navel, and stops at the top of the sarong.

"I think `you' might need this finger too, B... what do ya say?"

I say `fuck me!'

"Uh-huh."

I'm back to squeaking. In my mind I wasn't squeaking.

She tugs at me again, and leads me up the stairs. She's walking backwards and her eyes never leave mine... I can see everything she is going to do to me in them... every caress, every touch... all there for me to see. Her eyes are promising to take me places, show me things... and I am so damn hot for her.

I can feel how wet I'm getting, I can feel my panties getting more and more uncomfortable. I can feel the heat raising on my skin. My heart quickening, my breath hitching.

"I need you, Faith..."

It comes out a whisper. A whisper of a thought I didn't know I was thinking... I was stuck on hot, I guess I was really stuck on need.

"...I need you."

If it's possible, her eyes seem to push into mine even further. I'm so entranced I almost miss the smile on her lips, the words from her mouth.

"I guess it's a good job you have me then."

Finally we are at the bedroom door. My bedroom door. And the funniest thing crosses my mind.

Me and Faith have never really been together here... there was the first time, with me and the wanting and the taking and the wow... and then there was just the fighting. The screaming. The hurt. The pain. But this... it almost feels extra special, because this is home. This is my room, my bed, my space...and now I want to share it. I want it to be ours.

She has hold of me and the gateaux, so I push open the door. Everything is the same. Except now it's different. I won't ever have to sleep in that bed alone again. I won't ever lay there and wonder at what it is I'm missing, what it is that I need so badly, but just can't find. Because that's with me now. And this is our room, our bed, and our space.

"I love you, Faith. I love you so much."

And I feel the tears as they start to push their way from my eyes.

"Hey, B... baby, what is it?"

She pushes the door shut and puts down the cake. In a second her arms are around me, and I just... I... everything. It's her. And I feel so damn complete.

"Happy, Faith... I'm just happy."

I would pay to see the smile that crosses those lips of hers. It's the best smile I've ever seen.

She tucks her finger under my chin and raises my eyes to hers. She brings her lips down in the softest of kisses against mine.

"I love you, Buffy."

She wipes the last of my silly happy tears from my face, and then she wraps her mouth around mine in a kiss that scorches the panties right from me. Her tongue is everywhere, searching my mouth, running across my teeth, tracing my lips... I feel like she is trying to consume me, and I just can't wait.

She breaks the kiss and steps back. She looks so beautiful.

"Just one thing, B... before I get all distracted."

I was already distracted!

"Hurry up, Faith."

I smile to let her know I'm playing.

"Calm down `eager pants!' I just wanna know about the gateaux... ok? Cos ya keep saying you'll tell me, and Red is always cracking the funnies, and heck I think even Tara is more clued up then me... so what's the deal... why the crazy panting over gateaux?"

Maybe it is time to finally fess up.

"It's you, Faith."

"It's me?"

"Yep. It's you."

She does look a bit confused... I can see the thoughts passing across her face.

"But... the time, with you and Red... and I said... and you said..."

I know the time. Another time I caused problems, just cos I'm kind of a dope.

"...why didn't ya just tell me then...? Cos with the fighting, and the angst... do you `like' the angst, B?"

"I was scared. You said you didn't `want' love, and I was sad, and Wills was cheering me up, and the gateaux thing just kinda popped up... ya know... what would it be like to be with Faith... and then you were there, and all... `that sounds good enough to be me'... and hell, I freaked... I'm sorry."

And I am sorry. I'm sorry for any pain I caused her. Ever.

"I said I didn't want love... man, I'm an idiot."

"Yep."

"We're both idiots."

"Yep."

She gets a naughty grin on her face, and heads over to where she put the gateaux. She scoops some more cream off with her fingers. Slides it inside her mouth, sucks slowly, looking me in the eye the whole time.

"So what do ya say, B... me or gateaux?"

Both?

"It's been a while Faith, I might need reminding on the `you' taste of things."

"You might, huh?"

"Oh yes."

She starts undoing the button at the top of her jeans. I'm mesmerised. At the same time she is walking closer to me, or I'm walking closer to her... we're just getting closer. Till there's no more room to cover, no more distance to go.

"Be my guest, B... taste away..."

She slides her hand inside her opened pants, and scoops up some of her own creamy goodness, she offers it out to me, to taste, to suck.

It fills my senses, and awakens every part of me. No comparison.

"...so?"

"I want you, Faith."

"Not the gateaux?"

She's reaching across and getting more of that, now she fills my mouth again. The two flavours do complement each other so well.

"Not the gateaux... you."

"Me? You sure about that?"

"I want you."

And she smiles at my answer, even though it's the only answer I could ever give. It's her. Always has been. Always will be.

And as she closes the space between our mouths, brings her lips so hard against mine, so full of hunger, of lust... I know. I know that no one, or nothing could ever come between this. Between us. I have never been surer of anything.

I was made to love her. And love her I shall.

The End